Ambiguous
by Spunkay Skunk
Summary: Facing a surprise pregnancy is a challenge Lelouch feels he might be able to handle. The real problem is trying to figure out how the hell a male got pregnant in the first place. Crack m-preg! Beware of SPOILERS! (See profile for status.)
1. Like a Seahorse

What's this? A sudden m-preg fic? Why, you ask? Well, let me tell you:

M-pregs are everywhere, lurking in many of our favorite fandoms just waiting to rape our favorite characters in the most horrible ways imaginable… Oh wait, I might be confusing them with fangirls… *shrugs* Same difference (says a fangirl). But to answer the previous question I'm pretending you asked: because I was lying in bed one night, trying to fall asleep so I can enjoy my dreams that are like tripping on Acid, when this rabid bunny snuck out from underneath my pillow and bit my brain. That's right, my brain. When I awoke the bunny was still gnawing away so I figured it was better to deal with it sooner rather than later. I need my brain, after all.

(So do all my other rabid plot bunnies.)

To cut this rambling a/n short(er) and get to my real point, this is inspired by every m-preg fic I've ever read which have all left me feeling… violated and confused. I'm not trying to barb or call anyone out, but this is satirical so take that as a warning. I do apologize if you find yourself offended as that is not my intention. I just want to poke fun… so to speak. I realized that the only way I can enjoy an m-preg fic is if it's senselessly absurd because reality and male pregnancies don't mix no matter how hard we all try – it's like sticking a square peg in a round hole. Cram all you want, it's not going to fit. And yes, that is a purposefully suggestive metaphor.

**Warnings**: satiricrack (satirical crack) about male pregnancy with the possible portion of lemonade to quench any of that dryness. There will be a side of randomness for kick that has been whipped to a fluff. Taking this lightly is highly recommended.

* * *

"_Now, just imagine you're weightless, in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by tiny little seahorses." –Deb_ from_ Napoleon Dynamite_

-1-

Ambiguous

Like a Seahorse

Lelouch's feet shuffle as he walks to his bedroom.

His slight slouch is straightened by a yawn that squirms up his throat and pries his mouth open so its fat form can crawl out with the snaps rattling down his spine. He rubs the traces of tears away from his eyes that the yawn had squeezed out and his shoulders roll back in their own stretch. Once his mouth clamps shut again with a clap of his teeth, his shoulders droop along with his eyes, and he trusts his feet to take him to the appropriate room in which he may retire.

He doesn't want to repeat that _macaroni_ incident again.

Even so, he is so exhausted that he'd sleep anywhere at this point without a care as long as it's _silent_ and _dark_. He should have known better than try to explain chess to Tamaki when the pawn had asked him to – in a _completely _inconspicuous move to prove that he's into whatever his favorite buddy is into; which Lelouch would have found creepy if he didn't know Tamaki. Lelouch was a bit surprised that he didn't know anything – _anything_ – about chess, but then he remembered that it's _Tamaki_ and he quickly forgot the thought as fast as it came.

Too bad he didn't take his realization – that it's _TAMAKI _– as a warning. He would have saved himself a headache that pinched its way to a migraine that pounded so hard around his skull Lelouch almost thought it would crack his mask in half. Luckily, that hadn't happened. Unluckily, his head suffered an explosion after the _twentieth_ time of explaining each pieces' name… Or perhaps that was when a very, very, very, _very_ dusty light bulb lit up over Tamaki's head with the excited exclamation of:

"So _that's_ where the pawn analogy came from!"

No one bothered to correct Tamaki about it being a metaphor, not an analogy. They just shook sympathetic heads at Lelouch – or rather, Zero – mentally thanking whatever God is in heaven that they were not in his shoes.

Lelouch mentally cursed them all to Hell.

He had never thought it was possible, but Lelouch might actually be off chess for a while. Nothing sobers a person up better than headache-inducing stupidity.

Lelouch's dragging feet scoot him into his room where his eyes are blinded by a light – making Lelouch double-take by pinching himself to make sure he hadn't suddenly fallen unconscious… Or that Tamaki's stupidity _hadn't_ killed his brain without his notice, making him a clueless spirit wandering its way home. He doesn't know any other reason why there should suddenly be a bright, white light beckoning him into his bedroom. C.C. has her _own_ bed at the Black Knight's hideout, so there's no reason anything strange should be going on here; moreover, it's about _two _in the morning.

After a few nail bites split his skin – because he just wants to be _absolutely_ _positive_ his brain isn't dead – with his eyes cowering underneath narrowed eyelids, he sees a timid cast of evergreen eyes sitting on his bed, basking bashfully under the vivid glow.

_Speaking of stupidity…_Lelouch thinks wryly. But at least Suzaku understands chess even if he isn't close to mediocre at playing it – he wasn't even that hard to teach.

"Suzaku, what are you doing here so late?" Lelouch asks trying to sound casual despite how incriminatingly strange it is for _him_ to be the one stumbling into his room at such a late hour.

Suzaku doesn't seem so concerned about _that_, however.

Only the stagnant air of the room is Suzaku's reply as Lelouch walks towards the bed, putting his hands in the pockets of his gray pants – his school uniform traded for his favorite set of street clothes. He looks down at Suzaku critically as the seconds of silence add up to minutes and as those minutes, add up to more minutes – would Lelouch really let this drag out all night? Maybe, if he wasn't so _tried _– in which Suzaku will _not_ connect their eyes.

Obviously, something is wrong.

"Is something wrong?" Lelouch tilts his head and bumps Suzaku's knee with his own, the action looking very much like someone poking a comatose body with a stick.

Suzaku seems to flinch a bit – or _twitch_ like a limp body stirring underneath that stick – and his clasped hands clench, tight.

"I, um… I…" he clears his throat and squares his shoulders but holds his eyes against the floor like the world will implode if he looks away from it. "I have somethi~ng to tell you," he answers with a crack breaking his voice.

Lelouch lifts an eyebrow at the suspicious behavior – suddenly he doesn't feel so incriminated.

"What is it?"

Suzaku fidgets a little and his hands readjust their slick grip on each other.

…Why is Suzaku sweating?

"You should sit down…" the boy murmurs, his shoeless feet shifting around each other.

Lelouch feels a shot of anxiety blow through his chest and his eyebrows knit together.

"Suzaku," Lelouch says with a worry ridden tone, "what is it?"

Suzaku's hands contract hard again, "Just sit down, please." Suzaku's voice is stronger, but the waver halfway through still exposes his insecurity.

Lelouch heeds the awkward air breathing around Suzaku's request and seats himself next to the eye-contact-avoiding teenager. Adding his weight to the mattress seems to relieve Suzaku's shoulders of some of the invisible pressure pushing down on them; he even lets out a shaky sigh as his muscles relax somewhat around his rigid bones.

Lelouch is too impatient and anxious to wait for that imaginary cat to release Suzaku's tongue.

"Did something happen?"

He catches a glimpse of green when Suzaku looks at him with a glance, his shoulders straining again.

"…S-something happened."

"What is it!?" Lelouch demands loudly and confused. Suzaku looks to be fine, physically, so it must be something else… but what?

Suzaku cringes, "Lelouch, it's…" Lelouch can practically see the words jumble around in Suzaku's head as if in hopes that the right ones will just fall out until he suddenly turns his body to face him. After a brief lapse of silence, those elusive emeralds return his stare and the tentative sheen over them fills Lelouch's chest with dread. "Lelouch, I… I'm pregnant."

S

I

L

E

N

C

E

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.

.

Suzaku's face is contorted in scornful uncertainty at the blank look of the older boy beside him that has been idle for too long. Perhaps a few minutes of shock are appropriate, but, this recovery time is slower than the time it would take for this fetus inside Suzaku to _grow_ and be _born_. Lelouch probably won't even be out of his shock by the time their child graduates _high_ _school!_

Lelouch hasn't even blinked—!

Wait. There's one.

Suzaku scowls, "Why aren't you saying anything!?"

Lelouch blinks again, "Hm? I'm waiting for the punch-line."

Suzaku's gives him the same look Lelouch usually gives to Suzaku: _you're an idiot_.

"…I thought that maybe you forgot it, so I was waiting."

Suzaku growls, "This isn't a _joke_, Lelouch!" His fingers rough his hair. "I'm _serious_."

S

I

L

E—

"NO!" Suzaku waves his hands emphatically in front of Lelouch's face. "No more 'silence'! Say _something_," he implores nervously but eagerly.

Lelouch runs his eyes over Suzaku, as if seeing him for the first time – just like when they were kids, Lelouch's princely eyes are studying but not scrutinizing.

"Impossible," Lelouch announces easily – _patronizingly_.

Suzaku is still scowling, "It's not impossible. How else do you explain my… _situation__!?_"

Lelouch pauses in thought, actually _pauses_ to consider his answer.

"I think you've been reading too much of that junk Milly calls _literature_. All those boy-love novels are garbage, Suzaku. How many times have I told you that? Just because a select few of them in those stories got pregnant doesn't mean that it's actually possible," Lelouch mutters blandly. "You didn't get confused between non-fiction and fiction again, did you? I'm sure you only think this because your poor brain—"

"I have the test results to prove it," Suzaku steely cuts in.

Lelouch is taken aback.

That changes _everything_.

"…Seriously?"

Suzaku's cheeks turn a little pink, and he twists his fingers together like a child stalling his punishment, or embarrassment, looking away from Lelouch's eyes.

"Yes."

"Then let me see it."

S

I

L—

"If I can't be silent than neither can you, Suzaku," Lelouch deadpans. "Show me the results."

Suzaku's foot nudges at the floor diffidently, "I don't have it _on_ me."

Lelouch sighs, "But you saw a _doctor_, and they did _tests_ and _told_ you that you're _pregnant_?" Lelouch asks to Suzaku's fleeting gaze, but then he shakes his head. "No, wait. Why did you go to the doctor in the first place? You told me you had military duty tonight." That's why Lelouch suddenly found his afternoon free, because Suzaku flaked on him. He initially didn't have any plans regarding the Black Knights tonight, but with Suzaku running off to play soldier, Lelouch figured he should use his time wisely by sorting some things out that he'd been procrastinating to deal with. The budget issue that Tamaki managed to fumble right out of his hands was on Lelouch's list – thus leaving him at the mercy of his underling's astounding idiocy.

Yes, Lelouch's brain-heart-attack is _Suzaku's_ fault.

And Milly's. She had been giving Lelouch that Cheshire cat smile that signals the apocalypse during the whole meeting. Safe to say, he fled the student council room like a rat fleeing a sinking ship when the meeting was over.

Suzaku finally looks at him again, "I did, it's just, you know…"

"No, I don't know."

Suzaku sighs at the brick wall that is Lelouch's stubbornness.

"It was a physical. Lloyd makes me have one regularly to make sure his 'precious part' stays in top physical condition, to monitor me. So, I wasn't lying to you. It's like a duty…"

"Alright…" he scratches the back of his head—"Wait! Did you see a medical physician or did that _madman_ conduct the physical?"

Suzaku's brow wrinkles, "Lloyd, why?"

"Because that man is probably just tricking you or he's incompetent. He may have enough medical knowledge to _repair_ a human's anatomy but I'm not so sure humanity as a whole is something he understands."

Suzaku pouts, "Lelouch, that's not nice – even though you're probably right – I'm sure he knows the difference between men and women."

"That's why you're pregnant?"

Suzaku's expression pales before it seems to slide right off his face.

Lelouch feels a sardonic chuckle bubbling out of his throat.

"Suzaku, you're too gullible."

Suzaku glowers, "No, Miss Cecile double checked. I'm pregnant, it's a fact."

Lelouch feels the need to pinch himself again.

"_All right_, since everyone seem so _certain _that you've got a bun in the oven, tell me how it happened," he commands in an irritable string of words, crossing his arms.

Suzaku's cheeks mature from pink to red and his eyes sink again, this time swinging like pendulums that are ticking down the seconds left of Lelouch's patience. He holds his fist in front of his mouth and clears his throat again, looking at Lelouch like he needs to plead his innocence to a judge.

Lelouch starts to tap his foot.

"Yeah, um… Well, you see, when a man and a woman—err, man and a man, in this case I guess – love each other very, _very_ much—"

Lelouch can feel that migraine eating his brain again as he is being submitted to more of this _cancerous_ _stupidity_—

"—and if they trust each other just as much, then they, ah… engage in an activity together that, uh… is, um, very _intimate_ and _physical_, where, ah… they—"

"_Suzaku_," Lelouch growls – he was _almost _willing to let Suzaku struggle with that one, but his tolerance threshold is beginning to drain rather rapidly. "I _know_ what _sex_ is. I _know_ how a _woman_ gets pregnant. I _know_ the female body—"

Suzaku dares to giggle at that—

Shutting up instantly like Lelouch's calamitous, blazing eyes snipped his vocal cords—

"I understand how a _man_ impregnates a _woman_, but how does a _man_ impregnate _another_ _man_?" He watches a gulp slide down Suzaku's neck as more muted moments sashay between them. "…They didn't _tell_ you?"

"Ah, no, they did, it's just… I can't remember exactly what they said – they were talking really fast and using a lot of words I didn't understand, and…" Suzaku trails off as Lelouch exhales heavily, rubbing his temples with his finger and thumb while closing his eyes.

"You can't remember _anything_?" Lelouch asks tiredly.

Suzaku's eyebrows crease angrily, "Is this so _hard _for you to accept, Lelouch?"

Lelouch flicks his eyes up to Suzaku, letting his hand smack his leg, in a condescending gape.

"Yes."

In other words: _duh~ you moron!_

Now Suzaku crosses his arms stiffly over his chest with a sour face.

"I don't know why. Haven't you ever heard of seahorses?"

"Seahorses?" Lelouch echoes like the word is gibberish despite knowing _exactly_ what the creature is.

"Yes, seahorses. Don't you know that the male is the one who goes through the pregnancy?"

Wait…

Wait for it…

_Wait_…

Lelouch's lips tremble as laughter falls away from them, flying into the air with light flitters that nibble at Suzaku's pursed face.

"What's so funny?"

Lelouch is holding his stomach, choking on the air fighting to rush in and out of his lungs.

"I'm, I'm sorry Su… Su-Su-Su-Su~!" Lelouch tries, his jovial chortles snuffing out his voice before it can grow.

Laugh—

Laugh—laugh—

Laugh—laugh—laugh—_laugh_—

Laugh—laugh—

Laugh—

Laugh…

…

_Laugh_—_LAUGH_—

[Several spikes of laughter later]

Lelouch is crying and wheezing as his giggles begin to subside, dissolving into each other like seltzer tablets in water. He sighs with a whistle and flicks tears away from his eyes, drying the trails glistening his flushed face.

"…Oh, Suzaku. I haven't laughed"—chuckle—"that hard in a, in a"—snicker—"a while…"

He looks at Suzaku; the boy's face is so annoyed, so outrageously aggravated that the twisting purse he held has squeezed his features so tight around each other that they have been swallowed up by the center of his face like a giant whirlpool gobbles down a sailboat.

Lelouch arcs an eyebrow at the expressionless face glaring at him.

"What's with that look?"

"Oh, I don't know, Lelouch. Why don't you fill me in on what's _so_ _FUNNY_?" he snaps, his face instantly back to normal.

Lelouch has to slap away the smile tempting his lips – he's extremely fond of Suzaku's face, so he doesn't want it disappearing into that obscure sinkhole in his skull _ever_ again.

Because that's just weird.

Lelouch quickly composes himself, "Suzaku, you can't compare yourself to seahorses."

"Why not, it's the same case here isn't it? I'm a male, and I'm pregnant."

_Quit reminding me._

"Yes, but it's _completely_ different. Are you trying to say that you've suddenly morphed into a seahorse, or something? There's no way that's possible. Besides, male seahorses don't exactly _get_ pregnant. The female lays her eggs in his pouch and then he fertilizes—"

"Well that's _just_ _fine_, Lelouch! You stupid… _stupid _smarty-pants!" Suzaku suddenly shouts as he vaults up from the bed, flailing his arms around erratically like a disoriented traffic cop. "You won't even let me have the seahorses, will you!? Why can't I ever have anything!?"

_What?_

"What?"

Suzaku points at him in a dramatic stance that's too reminiscent of one certain terrorist and it makes Lelouch feel like Suzaku is stealing it from him—err, Zero.

"You never let me have anything," Suzaku says. "You always have to prove me wrong in everything that I say."

"That's because you're _always_ wrong."

"_Seahorses_, Lelouch. _Seahorses_. Why can't I just have the _seahorses_?"

Suzaku's really lost it.

"If it isn't the Seahorse Syndrome"—something Suzaku just made up—"than what can it be?"

Really, really lost it.

"Suzaku, I'm sure you're not some seahorse in a human's body, or a human sharing a seahorse's body… or whatever. You're just—"

"A freak! I'm a freak no matter which way you spin it, right?"—sniff—"What kind of male gets pregnant if he's _not_ some freak of nature?"—sniffle—"Am I a woman in a man's body? Am I suddenly a hermaphrodite or have I always been one without knowing it? Do I have some kind of sickness or mutated gene? Have I exposed myself to some kind of chemical that's given me the _power_ to get pregnant – was it something I ate? Was I abducted by aliens who conducted some strange and twisted experiment on me and then wiped my memory so that I wouldn't be able to remember it…?"—_sniiiiiiif_—"What other explanation is there?"

Yep, full-blown hysteria.

"Suzaku…" Lelouch calls softly, standing up from the bed as Suzaku's pretty face nests into his palms. "You're not a freak."

_And everything else you said is just ridiculously illogical._

"Yes I am!" is his muffled counter. "That's what everyone's been calling me my whole life, so it _must_ be true. Especially now, with-with _this_."

Disgusted fury churns in Lelouch's belly, swelling his chest with its thick smog so profusely that his eyes turn to slits and his throat tickles. He watches Suzaku's form tremble with stifled sobs through the loathing lenses of his eyes, wondering if it's possible that Suzaku can remember the name of every person that ever belittled him, insulted him, _degraded_ him and if he'd be willing to give those names up. Lelouch's personal hit-list isn't terribly long – depending on which one he is referring to – and he's sure he'd have plenty of time to exterminate all these _blasphemers_ for _ever _hurting Suzaku when he's done playing super hero.

He gently, lovingly, combs his fingers into Suzaku's hair after an attempt to pull Suzaku's hands away from his face came up fruitless – _unless_ he was trying to remind himself how weak he is, then it was quite a fruitful expense of energy.

"No, Suzaku. They're wrong. They're bigoted degenerates that can't see past the end of their own noses." Lelouch consoles tenderly as he pets brown curls.

"So then what am I if I'm not a freak?" Suzaku blubbers.

Lelouch gathers Suzaku in his arms, pushing the shorter boy's face into the safe solace in the crook of his neck while he rubs Suzaku's back with reassuring strokes.

"You're special."

"_Che__!_ _Special_. That's just another way of saying _freak_."

Lelouch dips his chin so that his nose nuzzles the chocolate swirls atop Suzaku's head.

"No. It means you're special," he says calmly, never ceasing his soothing motions. "You're in a class all by yourself that only _exceptional_ persons like you are allowed to access." He kisses Suzaku's head, "That's why I lo—" his chokes a bit on that four-letter word "…Why I _cherish_ you."

I am Lelouch Lamperouge, and I approved this message.

Suzaku sniffs again; it's a delicate sound buried in Lelouch's chest.

"…You… really mean that?"

"Of course," Lelouch responds, fully prepared to take his statement and run with it as far as he can, but he decides on a better option. "And you know what else, Suzaku? The seahorses… I think it's something that's still under study, so… you could be right."

As long as Suzaku is pacified it doesn't matter.

It's not like Lelouch _wants_ those seahorses anyway.

He doesn't.

_Really_.

Suzaku lets out a deep breath, "Thank you, Lelouch. You have no idea how much that means to me." he lifts his head, eyes red and his cheeks stained by tears, but there is a small smile on his lips and it's like seeing a rainbow at the end of a storm.

Too bad the worst has probably yet to come.

"You have no idea how much _you_ mean to _me_." Lelouch smiles back, pinching Suzaku's cheek affectionately.

Something of a quiet laugh slips out of Suzaku's smile.

"Well, hello, Mr. Romantic. I haven't seen you in a while," he teases but greedily accepts the kiss Lelouch pushes against his lips.

"Tell anyone I dropped by and it's curtains for you," Lelouch jokes back, fondly stroking the cheek he pinched with the back of his fingers.

He lets Suzaku laugh out a promise before he kisses the crazy's lips again.

"Listen. It's late and I'm tired, and I'm sure you're tired, so let's just go to sleep. We can continue discussing things tomorrow."

Suzaku nods, looking down at his fingers twiddling with the collar of Lelouch's short, red jacket.

"All right, we do have to get up early for school tomorrow."

Oh yeah, school: that annoying time between sleeping and running a rebellion.

Lelouch yawns, remembering just how drowsy he is.

"No, I think I'll play hooky tomorrow. It's been a long night."

_What time is it anyway…?_

"Lelouch, you can't skip class," Suzaku chides with another pout shaping his mouth. "Maybe if you hadn't been out so late we could have had this discussion earlier and already be asleep by now. You don't know how long I was waiting for you… Where were you, anyway? I didn't think there would be gambling matches this late."

Lelouch would feel trapped here; he would panic and scramble to form an adequate alibi… If Suzaku wasn't so naïve.

Sweet, sweet naivety. God's way of tricking the credulous into believing anything with the right finagling.

Thank you, God.

A soft hum of chuckles pops Lelouch's chest as he runs his fingers through Suzaku's hair.

"Why wouldn't something illegal take place at the shady hours of night?"

"…I guess you have a point." Suzaku approves easily despite the fretful expression. "But I wish you wouldn't stay out so late. Something could happen…"

Isn't _that_ an understatement?

"You don't need to worry, Suzaku. Nothing happened tonight, right? _I_ wish you wouldn't underestimate me."

Suzaku looks away with a frown, "I'm sorry."

"It's fine; I'm used to it by now," Lelouch says with a shrug although it is a terrible thing to admit out loud; but Suzaku has been successfully swayed and distracted from the topic of Lelouch's absence tomorrow, so it's not a total loss.

It stills hurts, though.

"No, I mean the way I acted tonight. I guess my hormones are just on edge, because… well, you know."

"I don't think you're far enough along to be acting…" Lelouch pauses as a curious thought strikes his mind. "How far along are you, anyway? Did they tell you?"

"Yeah I'm… five weeks."

Five weeks.

That's a little over a month.

Thirty-five days.

Eight hundred forty hours.

Fifty thousand, four hundred minutes.

Three million, twenty-four thousand seconds.

Seems like there should have been some kind of sign during all that time…

"…That's a long time."

_Is it too late to…?_

"Yeah, I couldn't believe it either. I feel kind of foolish since I didn't notice a change or anything that would have made me suspicious. I mean, I thought you get morning sickness when you're pregnant."

"Not all women get sick. Not everyone or everyone's body is the same. People experience things differently. But you're still pretty early, so you might get sick the longer you're pregnant."

Suzaku looks at Lelouch with a simper, "Of course."

"What?"

Suzaku shakes his head, "Nothing. I'm just happy to have a smarty-pants like you." He leans into Lelouch, nestling his nose into Lelouch's neck as his arms slide around the cage of the raven-haired boy's torso. "I just realized I didn't say it."

"Say what?" Lelouch rewinds his arms around Suzaku's shoulders.

"That I _cherish_ you too."

Lelouch smiles.

"Is that you or the hormones talking?"

"I don't know… I think it's fifty-fifty."

They share the mirth this time along with another kiss, parting to prepare for a rejuvenating slumber.

"…Lelouch?"

"Hm?" Lelouch hums as he slings the jacket over his desk chair.

"Can I sleep here with you tonight?"

Lelouch looks at Suzaku with a sentimental grin, "You don't need to ask, Suzaku."

Suzaku smiles back, immediately stripping down to his underwear and cuddling into Lelouch's bed faster than a speeding bullet would undress and cuddle into Lelouch's bed. Lelouch feels a sweat drop slide down the side of his face… _So fast_. Suzaku just gives him a toothy beam as he lies underneath huddled blankets. Lelouch offers a mirrored version to the inhuman boy, undressing at the speed normal people use.

"So, Lloyd's given you a physical in the past?" Lelouch asks conversationally as he unzips his pants.

"Yeah."

They hit the floor in a soft plop, "…You didn't feel the need to tell me that your boss sees you naked?"

"It's professional, Lelouch. Besides, it is _Lloyd _we're talking about," Suzaku says flatly.

He gently folds his pants in half—"True, but, your sexy _seahorse_ body is for my eyes only."—and drops them over his jacket on the chair.

Suzaku laughs, "Yes of course…" he watches that skin-tight, black turtle neck roll up Lelouch's body as it is tugged off, delighting his eyes with the pale chest being exposed to him. "But what about the boys in the locker room? I've showered after gym class, you know."

Lelouch's hair falls around his face when the shirt is pulled away, their tips pointing to the smirk curling his lips.

"I can't take back what's already been done, but I can change the future by keeping you from showering… or just keep you from even going to gym class by making you skip with me." Suzaku throws Lelouch a disapproving look as he flops his shirt over his pants and jacket, still smiling mischievously. "With a baby on the way, you shouldn't be doing strenuous physical activities, anyway."

Suzaku rolls his eyes at the boy walking up to the bed, "It's only _strenuous _for you, Lelouch. Good thing you're not the pregnant one, I think that the baby would kill you in either pregnancy or birth."

"Like _that _would ever happen." Lelouch scoffs as he slips into bed.

"Which part? Being pregnant or dying because of it."

"Both, you stupid seahorse. I don't _catch_, so it's impossible on both fronts," he utters out with a haughty tone, snuggling down in the pocket of warmth next to Suzaku's body.

Suzaku spoons into his side, laying his arm on Lelouch's chest with drumming fingers.

"…If I'm the pregnant seahorse, then wouldn't that make you the female seahorse?"

Lelouch doesn't hesitate to answer, "No. That would mean that I mated with a male seahorse. You change in this metaphor, not me." He stares at the back of his eyelids, putting a hand on Suzaku's to stop the thrumming.

"Hm, I didn't think you'd be into bestiality."

"And I didn't think you could get pregnant." He lobs his other arm over Suzaku's shoulder.

Suzaku laughs again, "Touché."

"I prefer 'checkmate.'" His face turns to the side and kisses the head lying on his shoulder. "Now shut the hell up. I'm tired and I want to go to sleep."

"Yeah, yeah…" Suzaku sighs lightly with an adjustment of his body to cuddle closer and he shuts his eyes.

A few breaths fill the air with their soft sounds, but it's the blaring light from above that makes Suzaku's eyes open again.

"…Lelouch, you forgot to turn off the light."

Silence.

"Lelouch?" he cranes his head to look up at—

SNN_OOOOOOOOOORRRR_E!

Suzaku's lips twitch into a positive bend and he pushes himself up on an elbow, gazing down at the peacefully firm expression Lelouch wears when he sleeps before he disentangles himself from the comforts the older boy and his bed. He steps lightly to the light switch and flicks it off, skipping back softly through the darkness. He carefully climbs back into place at Lelouch's side, replacing limbs where they were before he removed himself. He presses his lips to Lelouch's cheek, murmuring quietly as he rests his head back on Lelouch's shoulder…

"Good night, daddy."

* * *

_What_? _Macaroni incident?_ Yes, macaroni. Cheesy macaroni (_idiot, that's called macaroni and cheese_).

So… do you want to flame me right now or did I get you giggling yourself silly? Or are you somewhere in between, lost 'cause of the brain-exploding-idiocy?

I'm not an advocator of flames, so if you're feeling the burning urge to click the button below and rant until you're cross-eyed, please refrain. I have never flamed any of you, so let's all play nice. (I _did_ warn you beforehand to not take this seriously.)

If you were snickering so much that you suddenly find yourself craving a Snickers bar, then by all means type until you're cross-eyed and I'll give you one—oh wait, I can't. Mars Co. tests on animals, so I don't buy Mars candy… How about some macaroni? (Cheese optional.)

If you ended up cross-eyed because of what you just read, then you should probably seek medical help… If you can read this then you're fine, so sit back down and review! (Unless all this stupidity blew up your brain, then you should _definitely_ seek medical help.)

If you find yourself unsure of what to say, than you can just put "I'D CHECKMATE THAT SEXY SEAHORSE BODY!" or "HOLY MACARONI ZERO, I'VE GONE CROSS-EYED!" and I'll take that as a compliment – seriously. And if there were any grammar/spelling/whatever mistakes you might have noticed, then you can toss that in too.

Thank you for your patronage. No refunds.

Sweet Dreams,  
-Spunkay Skunk


	2. Abortions and Erections Don’t Mix

Well, I'm elated to see that my crack-head antics are appreciated. I wasn't really sure what kind of attention I was going to receive for this (if any) so this is a _very_ pleasant surprise. In fact, learning that people who don't even like m-pregs enjoy this fic is just too awesome for words. **Thanks** to all of you lovelies for the support with all of your reviews and alerts and favorites! I'm also very delighted to know a lot of you liked the seahorse bit. You'll never look at seahorses the same way again, will you?

This chapter is a bit later than I wanted, my goal being before my birthday but I was deterred by my (extremely) indecisive nature (and the distractions of Olympic proportions), so please bear with me on that. I don't want to say I started this on a whim because that sounds unreliable, but that's kinda the truth…

**Warnings**: Remember all the warnings from the first chapter? Good, because abortion is addressed in this chapter… There's also some "adult" content and some "adult" language. I guess it's probably too late for this warning, but there will be spoilers for season one, so don't read on unless you want to be spoiled.

* * *

"_Wheel of Morality, turn, turn, turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn." –Yakko_ from_ the Animaniacs_

•-2

Ambiguous

Abortions and Erections Don't Mix

Lelouch is awakened by something hard pressing into his back.

Bump—_nudge_.

His weary face scrunches as he feels the pull of consciousness win against the slumberous world of his brain. The unpleasant scene of his dream is being corrupted by this rap-tap-_tapping_ on his dreary door. It makes the horrendous chase of devilish equestrian-fish flicker away like a projector running empty film, and it is all thanks to that _constant_ knock hitting him from behind.

It had started in the background, Lelouch realizes, as but a lame touch of reality that pounded behind the stamp-less stampede of glowing eyes and flaring nostrils he was desperately trying to flee from. Perhaps in this case he should be thankful; that place, surrounded by a feral navy of aquatic beasts gaining on him from every direction in the invisible sea he was suspended in was a situation he could not escape. A thick mass surrounded him, hugging his legs heavily and stealing air from his lungs as he felt himself sink faster and faster the harder he thrashed.

Bump—_nudge_.

On the other hand, this _repetitive_ _jab_ into his tailbone has brought him out of a snooze that, despite being feverish, was very much needed for his fatigued mind and body.

So now Lelouch is currently lying on his side as the relaxation of a sleepy splendor evaporates from his being. He's cozy and warm in the cocoon of his blankets, absently aware of dead weight around his waist, sensing what seems to be early morning by the way weak light lies across his closed eyes. It's most likely _too_ early to be waking, but _that_—

Bump—_nudge_-_nudge_.

Lelouch finally scowls with a groan, throwing his arm behind him to shove away whatever that _bumping_ thing is. His hand first hits a warm body then it falls in the slim trench between his back and that other form where his hand grabs—

Nudge-_nudge_.

His eyes slowly split open, eyebrows very tightly knitted together. He squeezes a little at the _thing_ in his hand and it reacts to his action with a thrust and faint moan making the arm sagging over his hip tighten. He sighs, his groggy mind throwing all of his wrong deductions away, and forces as much life as he can into his lethargic limb to shove the _nudger_ away from him. It strikes back with another swift _nudge_, making Lelouch growl and grab the hungry hip behind him.

"_Suzaku!_" he complains loudly, pushing on the embodiment of his annoyance this morning.

When he hears a snort and a slurred "Huh?" he knows he's awakened the boy belonging to this _horn_.

"What is it?" Suzaku mumbles with a sluggish voice.

Lelouch continues to glare at nothing, "Despite popular belief I _don't_ like it when you ram your erection into my ass." He grouses as he pushes the boy away again. "Keep your morning-wood to yourself."

Lelouch doesn't need to see the flush of rose-red on Suzaku's face to know it blooms when he hears the boy gasp.

"I-I'm sorry Lelouch!" Suzaku stammers skittishly; his body, erection and all, vanishing from Lelouch's back in clumsy shambles that shake the bed.

"Don't worry about it," he mutters as he closes his eyes and tosses the blanket high over his shoulder, burrowing deeper into his heavenly blankets fully intending to go back to sleep.

_Intending_ is exactly the right word. Leave it to Suzaku to make a problem out of a little excitement.

Actually, Suzaku _alone_ is one big problem.

Rustle-_rustle_.

The irritated wrinkles previously furrowing Lelouch's brow take root again as Suzaku's shuffling persists on the other side of the bed.

Wiggle-_rustle_.

Lelouch just tries to dig deeper into his covers as if they'll protect him from the fidgets of restless arousal, his eye twitching.

Squirm-_rustle_.

He closes his eyes tighter, curling into a ball and nearly humming a tune to himself like a child trying to keep the monsters under his bed at bay.

Fidget-_rustle_.

"_What_ is your _damn _problem!?" Lelouch exclaims as he heaves his body up to a sitting position, whirling around to face Suzaku.

Suzaku stares at him like a deer caught in the headlights, his body finally freezing – although it's too late for that now – as if waiting for the oncoming collision to plow into him. Lelouch glares intensely down at him like an irritable old man, watching green eyes shift from time to time before that pink face turns away completely.

"Well?" Lelouch demands, his voice a brittle shard of ice hanging precariously over Suzaku's head.

Suzaku glances over at him, sinking under the blanket with only his eyes peeking out above them.

"Are you _not_ going to answer my question?"

"…I'm sorry," Suzaku mumbles out quietly.

"That _doesn't_ answer my question."

Suzaku connects their eyes but remains silent.

Lelouch sighs and rubs his hand over his face, wondering why Suzaku is acting so peculiarly. Perhaps he's being too brusque, but _good_ _Lord_ this is ridiculous. He's acting like a _child_. Never mind the fact that Lelouch is still very tired and _not_ a morning person.

"Suzaku, what are you doing?" Lelouch asks, trying to soften his tone. "Why don't you just go to the bathroom?"

Suzaku's eyes sweep away again with a muffled mutter.

Lelouch has to remind himself to breathe calmly, to not spook this little critter shivering under his predator stare.

"What did you say?" his words still come out strained, any sweet tones he'd hoped for are far from sticking.

Suzaku shifts slightly, "It's embarrassing."

_Is that all?_

"Suzaku…" Lelouch starts with another sigh, leaning against his bed rails. "It's not like anyone will be watching you."

"I know that…"

"Then what's the problem?" Lelouch presses again.

Another quick glance is all Lelouch gets before Suzaku suddenly turns over, leaving Lelouch's eyebrow to lift at his back.

"Suzaku?"

"I'm sorry I woke you up. I promise I'll be still now," he says mechanically from inside the soft shell of Lelouch's blanket.

Lelouch stares at the messy bush of brown hair standing above the snowy mound of sheets under which Suzaku is hiding. The boy is keeping his word, not a single jostle animates his human hill, and somehow, in this straggling silence, Lelouch feels guilt _nudge_ into his gut. He shouldn't, it's not like he's done anything wrong; it wouldn't be the first time he's snapped at Suzaku and it's never marred the brunette's sensitivity before, so…

"Whatever," Lelouch mutters with a turn in the other direction, yanking the blanket back up to his neck as he flops onto his side. Lelouch closes his eyes with a tight scowl; it's much too early to be dealing with Suzaku's emotions right now—

"…_I guess my hormones are just on edge, because… well, you know._"

Lelouch cringes, his mind streaming heavier guilt into his stomach with that pesky memory of his.

Not that he _could_ forget last night; even his dreams won't let him escape reality – although, they rarely do.

Lelouch spies over his shoulder, bottom lip curling petulantly at the nagging feeling to flip over and console this seemingly stubborn and introverted Suzaku _instead_ of hunkering down for another hour or so until he has to get up and prepare to skip a full day of school. It isn't that he doesn't care for Suzaku, because, really, he did give up _seahorses_ just to make him feel better, and that is a gesture not to sneeze at; he's just _so_ _damn_ _tired_ – it doesn't matter that he's planned to skip school today to make up for lost sleep by snoozing up on the roof or in the library…

_Damn it all to Hell…_

Lelouch _knew_ he was going to do this before he even deliberated it, before he rolls over and touches Suzaku's shoulder and murmurs words coated in candy sweetness.

"Suzaku, are you all right?"

Suzaku is unresponsive for a moment, perhaps in hesitation if Lelouch may say so, and then he makes an offhanded shrug that pleads for attention rather than screams for privacy.

Lelouch rubs Suzaku's shoulder over the covers in a fashion that reminds him of his mother—but that is a tangent best avoided at the moment.

"I know something's bothering you. Want to talk about it?" Lelouch leans closer so he can observe the down-cast gaze of Suzaku's eyes. "Hm?"

Suzaku just fidgets again; making a small mewl that reminds Lelouch of children being difficult on purpose. Typically now would be the line where the parent will announce an inability to read minds, at least that's what Lelouch's mother—once again, a train of thought that doesn't need to be boarded right now. Yet, Lelouch happens to be the bearer of such a talent. However, Suzaku's mind is a place best admired from afar, if _admired_ at all.

"Come on, Suzaku." Lelouch coos, slipping closer to said boy and resting his chin on Suzaku's shoulder. "If you don't talk to me I can't help you."

Besides, relationships – _good_ relationships – are maintained with communication.

"It's nothing…" Suzaku insists with a coy glance.

"Nothing," Lelouch repeats skeptically, remembering the shallow pit of his patience as he slips his arm underneath the blanket to drape over Suzaku's side. His fingertips run over the squirmy muscles of Suzaku's abdominal region, making a shiver ripple over Suzaku's body. Lelouch immediately feels the crop of tiny bumps sprout over Suzaku's skin.

"_Crap, _Lelouch! Your hand is _freezing!_"

"Is it? I hadn't noticed." Lelouch smirks, raking his fingers farther over Suzaku's stomach.

In all fairness, he really hadn't.

But that doesn't mean he'll stop.

"_Lelouch."—_Suzaku wriggles—"_Stop_."

"You don't want to help me warm them up?" Lelouch teases with a sultry sweetness in Suzaku's ear as he slides his hand lower despite the grip slapped around his wrist. "Your body is so~ warm, Suzaku." he flicks his tongue over Suzaku's ear, watching it turn red like he flipped a switch. "Can't I have some of your warmth?"

"_Nn__!_" Suzaku tries to jerk his head away, foiled by the pillow cushioning it. "You're gonna _steal_ all of it—!"Suzaku's complaint is tarnished by a gasp made because of Lelouch's traveling fingers.

Lelouch's smirk digs deeper and wider across his lips, his hand squeezing that familiar thing between Suzaku's legs that's no softer than it was when it knocked him out of his dream.

"My, my, my~! What's this?" Lelouch sings slightly, _curiously_ caressing the hard flesh over a thin pair of underpants.

Suzaku flushes, "Don't." he wriggles his legs.

"Don't?" Lelouch questions mockingly. "You don't want me to take care of this for you?" he caringly rubs his hand along Suzaku's erection, watching his face purse.

"…You'll probably _kill_ it," he whines in a wiggle.

"'Kill it'?" Lelouch repeats resentfully, stopping his hand. "I'm glad to know my touches are suddenly so fatally repulsive."

"You _know_ what I mean, Lelouch."

"Do I?"

"Of course you do! Your hands are _damn_ cold! You know what, uh, cold temperatures do…"

"But don't you want it dead?"

"Not like that!" Suzaku says anxiously.

Lelouch grins sharply, "So then perhaps something more _hot_ and _pleasurable_ would be better to 'kill' this excitement of yours?"

Suzaku doesn't answer but Lelouch can see the gears in his head turning, most likely trying to consider how serious the offer of a morning blow-job to eliminate his morning-wood really is.

Well, that's an easy question to answer.

Lelouch whips the blanket off in a brash motion – ignoring Suzaku's confused howl – and starts pulling at Suzaku's underwear like a starving animal that smells _meat_ buried in a pile of rubbish. Suzaku squirms in a show of an attempt that the notion of having oral sex so early in the morning is absolutely appalling, but his struggles are weak and the appetite for such attention is more than present between his legs. A fog quickly rolls over his eyes as he silences the counterfeit noises of reluctance toppling out of his nose and it makes Lelouch smile over a small victory that probably isn't as big a victory as he believes it to be.

"Well…" Suzaku starts, making a good effort to sound unsure, releasing his hold on the band of his shorts. "I guess I should take advantage of this before I can't anymore."

"What do you mean?" Lelouch quickly makes work of wrenching Suzaku's shorts off his hips.

"In the later months of pregnancy, I'm not allowed to… ya' know…" he answers shyly, cheeks powdered pink at Lelouch who is staring adoringly down at his crouch.

Lelouch's mind skids to a halt and it leaves his expression in a wordless gape for a second or two, his eyes blind to the task he revealed in an easy hoist. He can't say he's exactly surprised, but he didn't expect Suzaku to come up with such a daunting decision all on his own. This is his – _their_ – future, after all.

"So you've already decided?" he tries to ask casually, wondering if an accusatory waver shivers his voice as he grabs Suzaku's—

"Decided what?"

Lelouch looks up at the doe-eyed gaze, hoping that isn't a foreshadow of a headache that ghosts over Suzaku's words.

"That you're going to keep it."

Suzaku tilts his head, "What do you mean? What else would I do with it? It's not like I can stash it away for later."

"Stash away for—?" Lelouch shakes his head, "No, I _know_ that. I'm talking about… the alternative."

"Alternative?" Suzaku echoes like a child – there seems to be a theme there.

Lelouch really doesn't want to spell it out; he'd rather slap the boy for being so _green._

"Getting an abortion."

Nothing follows his statement for a long, painful moment with only Suzaku's empty stare on his face and Suzaku's throbbing—

"An abortion," Suzaku says. "What's that?"

That probably was a premonition of a headache Lelouch heard in Suzaku's words before.

But damn it if he isn't going to flirt with the possible pain.

"…Are you serious?" Lelouch asks incredulously.

But of course his tone couldn't be any clearer: _you really ARE an idiot, aren't you?_

Suzaku starts to scowl, "I'm _sorry_ I'm not as _educated_ as you are Mr. Genius. Not _everyone_ can know _everything_ like you do."

Lelouch sighs at the brunette's sudden snap, dropping his gaze to get an eyeful of Suzaku's naked—insert euphemism here—and immediately releases it with a twist of his stomach.

Abortion can _really_ kill the mood.

"Suzaku," Lelouch sighs again looking Suzaku in the eye. "I'm not trying to insult you, it just seems like this is something you _should_ know about. It's common knowledge."

Suzaku just glares – apparently that's a step in the wrong direction.

"…It doesn't matter, I guess," Lelouch mutters. "An abortion is medical procedure that terminates the pregnancy."

Doesn't the word "abort" ring any bells?

"_Terminates_…?" Suzaku articulates like the word is sour on his tongue. "Well why would I think about that? It sounds awful!"

"I never said it was _pleasant_. But it's still an option that—"

"No!" Suzaku cuts off heatedly. "I don't want to kill anything!"

"Let me finish!" Lelouch snaps back, brow creased in agitation. "_Of_ _course_ no one wants to _abort_ anything, but you're not thinking about this _rationally_."

"_Excuse~ _my emotions Lelouch!" Suzaku shouts, scrambling off the bed – boxers hugging his thighs – and leaping to his feet. "Please do excuse the fact that I'm not a _heartless _ass like _you__!_"

Lelouch's face contorts angrily, "_Wait_ a second! What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?" He also jumps to his feet.

"I don't know, Lelouch – _genius of the universe_ – why don't you tell me what that's supposed to mean?"

"How could I possibly—?" Lelouch cuts himself off.

Yes, he knew what Suzaku meant.

No, he isn't going to get distracted by petty name-calling.

"Look," he utters, his voice stretched tight to conceal his annoyance. "We're getting off track." He slaps his hand over Suzaku's mouth when he sees it fly open to no doubt blurt another insulting remark. "You want to call me heartless? You have _no_ idea what you're getting into and being a stubborn ignoramus right now isn't going to help anything."

Suzaku thrashes away from Lelouch's hand, "Don't call me stupid! You're the one being insensitive!"

"_Suzaku_, you're misunderstanding me!"

Suzaku shakes his head vehemently, "I can't believe you! I can't believe you'd ask me to do something, something so _despicable_!"

"I'm _not_ asking you to do anything—!"

"Damn strai—!"

"_Don't_ _interrupt_ _me!_ I'm _not_ finished!" Lelouch roars, making Suzaku's mouth clamp shut. "I'm just trying to _tell_ you that you should at least _explore_ your options before you _decide_ on anything. _Of_ _course_ I don't expect you to do anything you don't want to do _nor_ would I _force_ you too." Lelouch sighs exasperatedly, grasping desperately at his own forehead, "_Christ_, Suzaku. Please try to understand where I'm coming from."

Suzaku just stares at him with a tight frown and sharp eyes, his face flustered by being slapped out of the soft haze of sleep by all this squabbling. Lelouch is still reminding himself to breathe calmly: in, out. In, out. In, out.

And it is as he casts a glance at Suzaku's stewing stance that he realizes the absurdity of this scene: arguing at the top of his lungs with his very erect, and supposedly pregnant, counter-part about abortion in the creeping hours of morning, both of them standing face to face in their underwear – Suzaku having the decency to pull his back up…

In, out.

In, out.

"So then, help me understand," Suzaku finally mutters.

Lelouch looks at him blankly in the eye, still kneading the start of a headache in his forehead.

Suzaku shrugs, "I can't read your mind, you know."

Lelouch wants to smile at that, but his energy is limited to the heavy drop of his arm to his side.

"I just don't want you to feel like you're forced into doing anything, that's all."

"Trust me, Lelouch; I won't do anything I don't want to do." Suzaku reminds tersely, his bare foot lightly tapping the wood floor as he repositions it. "But that doesn't answer my question."

Isn't that Lelouch's line?

"You're telling me that I'm not prepared and that I need to 'consider' my options. But what you're really saying is that you want me to get an abortion, isn't it?"

"_No_," Lelouch snaps with a scowl. "I will support whatever decision you make, I just don't think you're carefully assessing which is the better option."

Suzaku is glowering tamely, "All right. What might the 'better option' be?"

Lelouch thought he could certainly turn this argument around, lead it down a road of smiles and kisses that leaves this nasty discussion in the dust.

He's not so sure that's how it will end now.

If anything, he might be the one left in the dust.

"Don't get testy; I'm just trying to help you. I'm your _partner_, that's what I'm supposed to do, right? I know this is a delicate topic and it's certainly not an easy choice, but you have to look at it from all angles before you know what to do. And sometimes, Suzaku, the _less_ _pleasant _one is the best one," he says with a slight frown. "Have you thought any of this out or do you think that this'll all just be some glossy _chapters_ of your life and then the baby comes with a happily ever after? There's more to think about then just whether or not a decision is immoral. I don't think I need to stress to you the _risks_ you'll face with this pregnancy – it could be bad for _both_ of you. Not to mention you're in the _military_ fighting in _combat_ and a princess's _Knight_." Of course Lelouch is going to play that angle, how could he not? "And we're only seventeen-year-old high school students in the midst of all this terrorist activity. Is this a world you want to bring a child into?" Lelouch ends sucking in a breath, being careful to not tack on his silent thoughts: _What about Zero? What will happen to Japan – what will NOT happen to Britannia? What about Nunnally? How can I change anything if I'm stuck at home?_

He watches Suzaku's conflicting gaze as no response rears its ugly head out of that boy's frown.

This waiting silence is almost unnerving.

Maybe Suzaku is really taking in his words this time.

Maybe Suzaku will calm down and—

Suzaku snorts, "Right, so all that equals me getting an abortion. Why don't you just admit it?"

IN…

Lelouch is close to throwing in the towel.

Or sitting in a corner and crying until his blood-pressure sinks to a healthy level.

…OUT

"Suzaku, that isn't fair."

"You just don't want this baby, do you?" Suzaku's eyes are glimmering. "Well I'm _sorry_ this happened. Do you think I _wanted_ this?" _Really_ glimmering.

Lelouch's stomach twists with more guilt, "_No_, that's _not_ what I said."

But that's certainly what it sounded like.

Suzaku shakes his head, "Yes it is. You couldn't have spelled it out any clearer." Tears are wavering in his eyes, like he's trying to hold them back with his weakening voice. "That's why everything you said points to the _alternative_."

"Suzaku…" Lelouch feels helpless, watching Suzaku's watery eyes look away from him.

He already feels Suzaku walking away from him.

"I'll admit that I'm not ready, and I don't know anything about being a parent, but I had hoped that you would be by my side not telling me to just _throw_ it away. Are you really that selfish?"

_Selfish?_

"I would find a way to make it work, Lelouch. If that means quitting or taking a leave of absence from the military, then so be it! It doesn't matter what age I am or what the state of the world is or whatever else you said! I _am_ and _will_ _be_ responsible for this, this _child_ and I won't just get rid of it like it's a piece of _garbage_! Because it's _inconvenient_!"

"I'm _not_ telling you to throw it away, I'm just—" Lelouch feels his mind tumble to a stop again. Did Suzaku just say what he thinks he did? Suzaku would _quit_ the military? Is that a bluff? Is Suzaku just getting carried away and speaking without thinking? Should Lelouch take advantage of this or would that be… crossing a line?

"Why don't you just _punch_ _me in the stomach_ right now!" Suzaku nearly bawls, reining Lelouch back into the conversation.

"Suzaku, that's…! I'm not…!" Lelouch is taken aback, feeling his skin burn underneath Suzaku's blistering glare with tears running down those angry cheeks. "Be reasonable! I never said I wanted you to do _anything_! _Why_ aren't you listen—?"

"Quit telling me to be reasonable and rational!" Suzaku shouts, white knuckles spotting the red hands fisted at his sides. "I can't talk to you when you're like this! Why don't you just leave?"

Lelouch gawks.

"_You_ can't talk to _me_ when _I'm_ like this? _You're_ the one being _unbelievably_ difficult – not to mention you're dragging this argument out longer than necessary! It almost feels like you're just trying to waste everyone's time with all this superfluous bickering!" Lelouch hollers in a rage.

"_Oh_ _right,_ Lelouch. _Everything_ is always _my_ fault, isn't it?" Suzaku counters likewise. "It's my fault we're still arguing, it's my fault I'm pregnant! It takes two to freakin' tango, you know!"

"Yes Suzaku, that's _exactly_ what I was saying! _Everything_ is _your_ fault!" Lelouch yells sardonically. "Your very existence is a plague to this Earth!"

"Get out!" Suzaku barks furiously, swinging his pointing hand to the door behind him.

"_I'm_ not leaving! This is _my_—!"

Lelouch is suddenly scrambling to keep his balance whilst not ramming his face into the wall opposite his bedroom door. His hands slap to the wall, face pale and sweaty as he feels his stomach catch up with him when he hears his bedroom door hiss shut behind him.

_How the…?_

He whips around so fast his already unsteady footing sways underneath him as he flounders back to his bedroom door with a dizzy head.

Locked.

"Hey! Open the door!"

"_No! Go away!_"

Lelouch has officially reached the bottom of the barrel, his patience but a distant memory as he pounds on the door, wondering why the builders didn't put a number pad on the _outside_ of the room too.

"_Goddamn_ _it _Suzaku! _Open_ the _damned_ door!"

"_I said go away!_"

"It's _my_ room! You should have stormed out if you wanted to end the conversation not force _me_ out!"

"_I don't care! Go away!_"

IN, OUT.

IN, OUT.

IN, OUT.

Lelouch's hands are splayed out on either side of his head as he feels his headache pulse against the door, practically welcoming an aneurism to come and _save_ him from this fool he's managed to be reunited and fall in love with despite all the odds.

All those annoying little odds…

They should have tried harder.

"Suzaku," Lelouch begins, hanging his words on the weakest shred of sanity he has. "At least open the door so I can get my uniform."

"_No!_"

Lelouch hits the door again.

"_Come_ _on!_ I can't go out in just my _underwear!_"

"Master Lelouch?"

Lelouch nearly jumps out of his skin at the sound of his name, grimacing at the sight of Sayoko's concerned and bewildered expression.

How long has she been standing there?

"Is there a problem?" she asks politely but curiously, glancing between him and the door… and his lack of clothing.

It figures that one of the _rare_ times he decides to sleep in his _private_ _apparel_ is when he'll be forced to parade around in it for all to see. It doesn't matter that it's only three other people who will see him, and that two thirds of them don't count because they're either blind or have already seen him naked.

This sight is just not for Sayoko's eyes.

"Ah, Sayoko…" Lelouch tries to chuckle good-naturedly, but the weak resonance of it makes the situation all the more awkward and pathetic.

Regardless, she seems unfazed, "I heard a lot of noise so I came… Is there a problem?"

He leans away from the door, tapping his fingers on its locked surface, wondering just how much she might have heard.

"…Not at all. It's nothing. Have you already started breakfast, or have you woken Nunnally up yet?" Lelouch speaks quickly, hoping she'll take the hint and go on about her business.

"No."

He smiles a strained smile, "Then, could you please?" facing the door again.

She hesitates a moment, "Are you sure there's nothing wrong?"

She's a kind soul, but right now is not the time for her motherly manners.

"It's nothing, really," he reassures calmly, clenching his hand on the door, making a civil knock—

"_Mukou ike!_"

Lelouch gnashes his teeth, hearing a small gasp come from Sayoko at Suzaku's _very _unfriendly way of telling Lelouch to screw off – Lelouch has spent enough time with his Japanese terrorists to learn all of their _colourful_ words.

So Suzaku wants to curse in another language? Well, two can play at that game.

"_Tu_ baise de!" Lelouch bellows at the door with one last pound – feeling a bit better in the fact that Suzaku knows absolutely no French –, his skin stinging even as he storms away from the door.

"Master Lelouch…?" Sayoko calls – the poor dear is very confused.

"I'm taking a shower!" he growls out before realizing he's yelling at just an innocent bystander. He looks over his shoulder, speaking through tight lips, "Can you please find me a clean uniform to wear to school today?"

She nods and so he continues to march towards the bathroom.

He wouldn't have thought he would go from nearly pleasuring Suzaku to nearly killing him in one morning…

Then again, it wouldn't be the _first_ time something similar has happened.

•-•

"You're going to walk me to class today?" Nunnally asks happily, hand searching the air for another.

"That's right," Lelouch replies sweetly, grabbing her hand in reassurance. "It's been a while since I've done that."

She nods, a firm smile on her lips, "Yes, that's true, but you don't have to if it's a bother."

"It isn't a bother at all. How could you say something like that?" he frowns at her statement.

She giggles lightly, squeezing his hand, "Forgive me, big brother. Of course I want you all to myself."

He smiles.

Nunnally is his one purity in this world. There are no quarrels to shove through, there are no passive-aggressive remarks to avoid, no glares or scowls to reflect back, there's no stubbornness to run into… no pregnancies to deal with… (And if he has his way, that's something he'll _never_ need to handle involving her.) She is perfect; his one true, sweet escape.

"And you too, Suzaku," she adds with a cheery ring. "Won't you walk with us today?"

Unlike that stupid seahorse he's managed to get his tail tangled with.

Lelouch passes a curious glance at Suzaku from across the table where he is moodily picking at the food Sayoko promptly prepared for them. Thunderclouds are swelling over his head, sparking out bad vibes and rolling grumbles that just _happen_ to be too quiet for Lelouch to properly hear.

It all feels absurd.

Suzaku wasn't even the one that got kicked out of his own room in only his undershorts.

However, with a single word directed at him by Nunnally's mouth it's like the sun breaking through the gloom and doom of his mood. He smiles brightly, adjusts his voice away from the mumbles that bite at Lelouch's nerves like tiny piranhas.

It makes Lelouch wonder why he's bothered involving himself with this kid in the first place, but then he remembers their good times – which just _happen_ to include many of their more intimate moments – and he understands.

He understands that he's also an idiot, that it is.

After all, it takes one to know one, right?

Suzaku smiles at Nunnally, glaring at Lelouch's glance.

Lelouch glares back.

"I don't know, I wouldn't want to interfere with your, uh, alone time with Lelouch." Suzaku tries to deny, and here Lelouch is torn. He'd rather not be near Suzaku right now, but with Nunnally's wishes tipping the scales, he never really had a chance in the first place. He just about kicked Suzaku out on his ass – see how _he _likes being thrown out – but Nunnally was of course exceedingly happy that he was here, and just in time for breakfast too, "…_are you going to eat with us Suzaku?_"

It was inevitable and they both knew it.

So, the war of glares ensued with some hard kicks under the table at Suzaku's expense. Suzaku wouldn't dare risk hurting Nunnally, so all his retaliations were reduced to bitter scowls and foul hand signals that Lelouch could just look away from.

Lelouch's pretty certain he won this battle.

"You're not interfering at all, right, Lelouch?"

Lelouch's eyes switch between Nunnally's smiling face, bright like a Morning Glory, to Suzaku's frowning face, dark like a dumpster.

"Of course not," he smiles at Suzaku and flips him off. "But if you're too busy, we'll understand."

Yes, he insulted and helped Suzaku at the same time. What of it?

Suzaku's brooding clouds build and Lelouch can see his teeth grit as he pushes himself up from the table with fisted hands.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, but I have to meet with Princess Euphemia this morning, so I should really get going."

Suzaku really has no class, does he? He announces to Lelouch last night that he is, undoubtedly, carrying their child and then runs off to play Knight for his fair princess – the sister of his lover – the following morning?

_Tactless ass._

Nunnally's smile fades a little, but her tone is still pleasant, "That's alright Suzaku. This just means you'll owe me – so be careful!"

Suzaku, having nearly stomped around the table, grasps her hand with a smile.

"It's a date," he kisses her cheek.

Lelouch would kick him in the shin for being "smooth" on Nunnally if it didn't make her giggle in delight.

"Don't forget!" she playfully nags, pointing a finger at him.

He laughs, genuinely, and takes his leave.

"Don't worry, I won't forget." Then his eyes narrow at Lelouch when he adds, "Monday morning, I'm all yours," and he wags a crude hand gesture Lelouch's way.

_Real original you stupid jackass_, Lelouch mentally scorns as he stands up to bring Nunnally to her class.

Luckily for them both, Nunnally seemed completely ignorant to the ruckus they had made earlier as she didn't mention it. Or maybe she was just feigning ignorance for their sake. Sayoko _had_ said she could hear them from the kitchen…

Come to think of it, Lelouch isn't even sure if Suzaku _can_ get an abortion.

•-•

Lelouch felt too restless to lurk around the rooftop all day after he had walked and chatted with Nunnally to her class and soon found himself brushing past Tamaki's obnoxious calls to lock himself in his private room aboard the Black Knight's Submarine – it was more like he just _had_ to get _away_ from there, feeling too claustrophobic and… _trapped_. Any other day he might have gotten Rivalz to go gambling with him, but he needed to brood in solitude. Of course, running away to this _fortress_ while dressed up like the proverbial superhero did make him feel very much like a child hiding in their tree-house or in their closet…

Lelouch swallowed that _childish _feeling and busied himself with checking over the attack plans on Kyushu which they're supposed to be engaging in within a few more days. He began a chess match against himself as his usual method of helping himself think – not that Kyushu is a main concern for him – but so far his focus is as sharp as Tamaki's wit. He's tried to concentrate, but it's hard when the sole subject trying to distract him is the same subject he's _supposed_ to be thinking about.

Seems like Suzaku is always weighing heavily on his mind no matter what, but he has always been one of surprises – and they're never pleasant ones either: first was him being in the Britannian military, then the secret of patricide, then the Lancelot pilot and Euphemia's knight all at once, and now he's pregnant… Lelouch never saw that last one coming, but he'll just have to deal with it all the same.

Except this time he has to walk side by side with Suzaku's bull-headed attitude instead of trying to find a way around it.

The argument this morning has made this whole affair more realistic than when Suzaku nervously spoke the news last night. But their confrontation has also shined a light on other things other than the ugly reality he came home to. Suzaku's adamant reaction should have been predicted, but Lelouch didn't think that he would take it so personally. Maybe Lelouch is being too cold, maybe he's just too ignorant to the emotions pregnancy can bring to a person. He probably should have tried putting himself in Suzaku's shoes before suggesting something so controversial.

Conversely, he _was_ trying to think about Suzaku when he suggested the "despicable" as the boy had called it. Aside from the obvious problems that can occur during his pregnancy, Lelouch doesn't want Suzaku to feel obligated to have this baby – that was the message he tried and failed to get across this morning. While Lelouch will support Suzaku the best he can in any decision he makes, he still wants him to clearly think his choices over before just impulsively picking a path and walking down it without knowing where it will lead.

Lelouch has always been Suzaku's compass but such a tool is useless if it's ignored.

Lelouch should feel relieved by Suzaku's declaration about not doing anything he doesn't want to but Lelouch knows Suzaku is just never one to think anything through. He's not so sure that if he were in Suzaku's place he'd be so resolute about keeping it; maybe that's why he pushed the issue so much.

However, it's not like Lelouch is exactly positive about what to do either. He's probably just as confused and scared as Suzaku – which is why Lelouch has strengthened his resolve to sway Suzaku to his—_Zero's_ side. He'd like to not use trickery or foul play, but sometimes one has to get their hands dirty if they want to accomplish anything. It's bad enough Lelouch had to unleash his Geass on Suzaku just to keep the idiot from killing himself with that _destroyer-of-all-life _beam Lelouch's _bastard_ of a brother decided to blast upon them—

Lelouch accidentally knocks a black bishop off the chess board in front of him with a frown.

Schneizel – like that _fiasco_ that happened just days ago – is best disregarded at the moment lest Lelouch wants to worsen his headache.

Headaches aren't life-threatening, are they?

…_Are_ they?

At the moment Lelouch is trying to relax, trying to be as stoic as he can be whenever he pulls Zero's strings, but there's only so much refuge a paranoid prince can find within his own brain. His heavy violet eyes are strategically scanning the chess board in a fight against himself, but they're caught by the effervescent shade of C.C.'s long, thriving hair. She's apparently indulging herself with being a lush in his private quarters – where she currently likes to nest, not that he'll complain – as she lounges carelessly on a sofa opposite him with a stout coffee table between them. He drums his fingers over the dark mask nestled in his lap, chewing his tongue as he ponders whether or not he should tempt a migraine – because, really, isn't this getting a little overplayed? – before he should shove off to make it in time for the Student Council meeting.

Seeking council with C.C. is something of a last resort to help alleviate his worries, but it is more on the base of curiosity than out of hope that she'll be able to give him some of that wisdom gained by "old-age."

They say that curiosity kills the cat, but, why is it that the cat never _stays_ dead?

"C.C.… what do you think about abortion?" he asks her as he ducks under the table to retrieve the fallen black piece—

"Abortion?" she asks not bothering to look at him, favoring the ends of her hair as she twiddles with them. "Why, did you get that Shirley girl knocked up?"

—only to tumble more pieces over when his head decides it wants to slam into the table, making black and white fall like hail to the steel floor.

"_No way_," he snaps, rubbing his head with a slight scowl and sitting upright again.

_Stupid table…_

She grins only in her voice, "I hope she never learns how disgusted you are by the thought alone. So it must be someone else then…?" she drawls in a pondering tone as she continues to tease her hair and Lelouch feels like he might throw up – he's not sure why. It must be a physical reaction to her by now; because he doesn't know what else he'll do if she guesses correctly. "So someone's finally deflowered your si—?"

"_Don't_ you even _dare_ finish that sentence," Lelouch threatens with his voice rumbling like an erupting volcano. "Or that beloved pizza chain of yours will tragically become some _accidental_ casualties of those terrible terrorist attacks since they _are_ an extension of Britannia."

Her eyes dart to him, "…You wouldn't."

"Who do you think you're talking to?" Lelouch smirks a little.

She's silent a moment, turbines from the submarine humming in her place with taps from a chess game being reassembled.

"Will you bring me some pizza if I answer you?"

"This isn't a _bargain_, C.C. There is no worth to your opinion."

"Then why should I even bother if it's so worthless?"

Lelouch clenches his jaw, "Then don't." he slaps the final piece down a bit forcefully.

Of course she would be difficult and twist his words – but really, he should have seen that coming, it wasn't very smart on his part.

Another quiet pause as her golden eyes trail over him like he's a map she cannot decipher.

"Is there something wrong? You seem more irritable than normal."

"I'm surprised you care enough to ask, witch," he derides offhandedly, checking the time—damn, he's already late.

"Don't confuse it with caring, I'm just curious. If it's something life-threatening, then I might care."

"It isn't." _Yet_. "Just never mind. You are no help as always."

"I try," C.C. says drolly, her catty smirk painting in his mind as he dons his mask.

"Well that's an efficient effort you make, C.C." he says in an easy slide of his voice as he strides to the door. "Shame it doesn't bring you that pizza any faster." Lelouch stalks out feeling like he just wasted the day.

It seems that C.C.'s wisdom is really worthless after all.

Or, rather, it isn't worth more cranial agony.

•-•

Lelouch stumbles through the door with a grimace, immediately grabbing every eye in the room including one swift and green glower.

"Lulu! You're late!" Milly complains.

Lelouch stares at her with a miserably cloudy expression, "Sorry, I overslept."

"The whole school day!?" Rivalz blurts out. "Didn't you sleep last night?"

Lelouch shuffles to the table and plops down in a chair, a weak chuckle falling out of his mouth.

"I slept, just not very well…" he says at length, realizing the strange look the cast is giving him – minus one Japanese boy. He rubs a hand through his hair with a yawn, relishing how polished his acting skills have become. "Anyway, what have I missed?"

With that cue, Milly drops a folder in front of him, "Just planning the festival – like we've been doing this whole week. Of course you wouldn't know that, what with your constant absences."

Passive-aggressive much?

Lelouch slaps his hand on the folder, "Yeah, you don't need to get parental on me."

Milly smirks, "Well, someone needs to. I think you deserve a spanking from mommy for skipping school today."

Rivalz is oddly heartbroken by her statement – definitely too much information revealed there.

Shirley turns beet red – typical even for an amnesiac Shirley.

Nina is much too involved in her computer to take notice of anything outside of whatever that cyber box shows her – also typical of Nina, nothing that should cause concern and yet something that probably _should_ cause concern.

Suzaku seems to gleam at her in distaste with a blush touching his cheeks – a hint of jealously, no?

Arthur just proceeds to lick himself on the table in front of Suzaku – yes, he's licking _that_ place.

Lelouch just rolls his eyes, flipping the folder open, "Walked right into that one, I suppose."

Milly laughs and then continues to prattle on about something else grossly inappropriate that proceeds to make Shirley and Rivalz squawk in splutters, but all Lelouch observes is Suzaku.

Thankfully Suzaku seems to have calmed down since this morning, not that he looks like he'll become Mr. Snuggle Bear with Lelouch any time soon. Maybe it's because they spent the day apart from each other that he's gotten a chance to cool off. Maybe it's just because Suzaku cannot properly display his emotions to Lelouch while they're surrounded by their peers; that must be why Suzaku is flat-out ignoring him during the Student Council meeting, even sitting at opposite sides of the table to pretend working – at least, Lelouch is pretending to work. Suzaku probably knows better than to let his stewing mood flood the group by associating with Lelouch at all.

It doesn't seem to keep him from glaring, however; especially when he catches a stray look from Lelouch.

Lelouch ignores it, making his body tell the lies of his schoolboy façade: calm, cool, collected, and carelessly lazy.

Whether or not this pisses Suzaku off more doesn't really matter because at this point Lelouch is already in the doghouse; moreover, Lelouch isn't going to bring any attention to himself with being as rigid as a grumpy stump… At any rate, Suzaku's body language speaks volumes and will only get the less desired attention from everyone else around him.

Like from nosey Milly.

At some point, she invites herself to sit next to Lelouch, tapping his shoulder about some financial business, but as he fishes for the papers her murmuring voice sneaks into his ear.

"Do you know what's bothering Suzaku? He's been acting strange all day."

Lelouch glances at the boy in question, seeing that he's wrapped up in trying to pry Arthur off his hand.

Lelouch shrugs, "Why are you asking me?"

Milly stares at him.

"…What?"

"Aren't you his best friend?"

"Aren't you just being nosey?"

"Lulu, how can you say such a thing?" she asks, faking injury.

"Because it's the truth," he answers plainly. "If you wanted to know you would just ask him, wouldn't you? But instead you're asking me because you want to be indirect and add drama to anything you can get your grubby hands on."

"…Actually, I'm asking you because I think it has something to do with you."

Lelouch blinks at her but looks away when he hears Suzaku shout, seeing a swipe of cat claws slashing at Suzaku's other hand with Shirley squealing in the background as Rivalz laughs heartily from the side—

"What makes you think that?" he turns his eyes back to Milly.

She smiles slightly, "The two of you haven't spoken a word to each other since you've gotten here."

—Shirley cries again as Suzaku starts to stumble with Arthur's claws reaching for skin as Rivalz is doubled over laughing—

"Is that strange? We don't always talk during meetings."

—Shirley flees as Suzaku flails around, trying to shake Arthur off like overly sticky tape with a flock of papers emerging around them, she runs blindly into Rivalz—

"It isn't unusual, but Suzaku typically greets everyone, including you even when you're late. He didn't do that today. Not even a chide."

—Rivalz literally chokes on his laughter when Shirley's back collides with him, sending them both to the floor in a frantic heap—

Lelouch hums, looking over as Suzaku desperately staggers around, tripping over his feet and the limbs of his friends—

"He's probably just mad because I skipped today. He's never approved of that and I guess he's fed up."

—Rivalz cries out after Suzaku steps on his hand, making the brunette flounder to keep his balance—

"Well, you shouldn't skip so much, Lelouch. Suzaku isn't the _only_ one that disapproves so just kiss and make up already!"

—But Arthur lunges at his face, forcing Suzaku to lurch away by reflex and so he topples to the floor beside Nina—

Lelouch looks at her from the corner of his eye, reveling in her ignorance to the truth of their private relationship.

—Nina looks down at him, adjusts her glasses, looks at Rivalz and Shirley's flushed scrambles to get away from their embarrassing position, and then she looks back to her computer to continue typing—

"Speaking of kissing and making up…" Milly continues as she watches the others gripe and groan. "When are you and Shirley going to stop fighting? Your 'stranger' situation right now is no fun at all…"

Lelouch looks back down at his paper work after he briefly connects eyes with Suzaku's red-faced and wide-eyed expression as he straightened his uniform, tugging up on his collar before looking away again.

"Stop meddling in other people's affairs, Madam President," Lelouch says coolly.

Milly smirks at him again, "But it's what I do best, Vice Prez."

•-•

Suzaku doesn't make his appearance on the roof until dusk and it's with a slightly tentative scuff of his shoe against the concrete when he finally does.

Lelouch is positively pissed.

How much _more_ time are they going to waste with this _infernal_ conflict?

There was a period of time when Lelouch thought he might have mistook Suzaku's adjustment as a signal, but with such a specific movement and look Lelouch knew he wasn't the one in the wrong. Suzaku's spite isn't often encountered as he tends to let most things roll off his back, but with the upset this morning that apparently let all _Hell_ break loose between them, Lelouch wondered if Suzaku would really bait him out onto the roof just to stand him up. It really became a question as to whether Suzaku would be that immature or if he was really that malicious.

Lelouch had snorted at that, like there was any room for doubt as to which the winner really was. Suzaku and malicious just _don't_ go together – he is the _masochist_, not the _sadist_.

However, Lelouch is well acquainted with maliciousness – as the sadist should be.

Whether or not he employs it is completely up to Suzaku.

Lelouch is seated with his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles, arms crossed over his chest as he leans against the stone balustrade fencing the roof, his countenance also crossed in anger.

Suzaku looks at him, having the _nerve_ to carry a glower as he takes some gritty steps closer.

"Isn't it a good thing I live a life of leisure?" Lelouch starts scathingly to fill Suzaku's stalling. "Otherwise I would be undeniably infuriated by waiting _hours_ after I was called to the rooftop." Lelouch furrows his brow more tightly, "It's a good thing I'm not the grudge-carrying type, _right _Suzaku?"

Suzaku's lip-line is tight but there is a glint of remorse in his dark eyes.

"I'll admit that I was intentionally making you wait up here, but…" he trails a little, eyes escaping Lelouch's.

"But?" Lelouch pushes tensely.

Emeralds flick back to him, "But I didn't mean it to be this late."

Lelouch isn't placated, "I should assume you don't know how to operate a telephone?"

"Don't get all high and mighty on me, Lelouch. You're not the only one allowed to be mad around here."

Lelouch huffs. The only upside to this forced wait is that Lelouch's headache was able to dissipate in peace and he, oddly, found himself calming down in the cool breeze wafting over the building.

"I don't want to be late for dinner with Nunnally, so let's just cut to the chase, shall we?" Lelouch gestures to his side perfunctorily. "Are you going to sit down or would distance be more preferable?"

Suzaku eventually shuffles over to Lelouch, as if he feared that Lelouch will ravage him like a feral beast.

Well, Lelouch _had_ nearly ravished him this morning in bed… but that was a bit different.

"I've had time to think," Suzaku says, clasping his hands in his lap, "and I decided that I don't want to force you into something you don't want." Lelouch is already shaking his head. "I shouldn't have acted the way I did this morning, and I won't hold you responsible for anything."

Lelouch can't repress the explosive, exasperated sigh from blowing past his lips.

"Suzaku…" Lelouch rubs his forehead. "I feel like you never listen to a word I say."

Suzaku looks down at his hands, "This isn't what you want?"

Lelouch just wishes that it's possible to literally beat sense into a person.

It's possible to do the opposite, isn't it?

"Not at all."

Suzaku looks at him with the same juvenile gleam he did at dawn and Lelouch feels it tug a sad, little smile over his lips.

"I already told you that I would support any decision you make. I wouldn't dream of making you go through this or anything else alone."

Suzaku is confused and it's adorable, "But all those things you said…"

Lelouch sighs, more wistfully this time.

"Everything I said… I was just trying to explain to you that I didn't expect you to—no, that I didn't want you to feel obligated to keep the baby for anyone's sake. A lot of people find themselves in this same position and end up making the wrong decision whether they keep it or not and I didn't want us to live our future in regret."

Suzaku seems to understand – _finally_ – if that nod is any indication.

"I was just trying to protect you." Lelouch continues softly. "Not only from regret or guilt but… Well, you're not built for pregnancy, Suzaku. I wouldn't risk your health for anything." Suzaku's giving him some slightly starry eyes so Lelouch knows that all he needs are some more smooth words and tones and he'll be out of the doghouse. "I would rather have you than a little embryo I know nothing about and if that makes me a cold-hearted person then I guess I'm cold-hearted. I just don't want to lose _you_, Suzaku."

_I've already almost lost you TWICE._

Suzaku's fretful face melts away, his eyes twinkling under the sunset coloured sky with a dreamy grin curling his mouth.

"You're not cold-hearted," Suzaku counters affectionately. "You're just… you're just too protective."

Hook, line, and sinker.

This really was _too_ easy, being resolved all in one cha—erm, in one day's time.

Lelouch smirks inwardly but shrugs outwardly, "Is that a crime?"

"No." Suzaku smiles at him. "It just makes me wonder when Lelouch has time to take care of himself."

"What's this? I thought you were my better half. That's your job."

"I think I cause you more trouble than I deflect. If anything you are _my_ better half."

"Don't sell yourself short," Lelouch insists wondering why Suzaku's insecure side seems to always surface when they make up. "In any case, I think the two of us combined can make at least _one_ decent person."

Suzaku laughs quietly and rests his head on Lelouch's shoulder, plopping his hand on Lelouch's leg.

"Give me your hand."

Lelouch looks down at Suzaku's palm, feeling another weight dissolve out of his chest and into the passing breeze as he laces their fingers together.

They sit in silence, enjoying the tranquil quiet surrounding them, breathing in the last rays of light from the sleeping sun. Although there are still things to discuss, so, _so_ _many_ more things to discuss, right now it's nice to just relax and enjoy the moment. Today, this _morning_, was stressful enough so everything else can just wait until later. Hopefully there won't be another fight waiting for the two of them then, especially since Suzaku's military career is something that needs to be reconsidered with this baby thrown into the mix.

Lelouch would really rather not repeat last night's and today's formula again tomorrow.

"…I feel like I should apologize for my behavior again from this morning, and probably for any future episodes I might have. Knowing me it might happen again."

"No, you don't have to apologize. You were upset and that's normal. I don't blame you."

"Yeah…" Suzaku snuggles closer to Lelouch's contour. "I was just looking at it from a different perspective than you – which is apparently something that can't be helped."

"And what perspective might that be?"

"It'll probably sound stupid to you, but…" he starts demurely, lifting his head. "To me this is like a miracle… or something. I was terrified at first and really confused, but I liked the idea. I mean, you and me raising a child – something that you and I _created_ and having that something live and grow inside me, having a part of _you_ inside me" Suzaku sighs whimsically, looking away from Lelouch's eyes and up at a daydream that only he can see illustrated in the sky. "I don't know; it felt like something I should treasure. Something that I shouldn't take for granted – because how often does an opportunity like this come along for people like us? I know this isn't the most ideal situation, like you said, but I can't give this up. I've even considered adoption, but maybe I'm too selfish because I can't imagine giving it away." his eyes fall back to Earth, fixating on Lelouch's uncanny eyes. "It's yours and mine and no one can take that away from us…"

"Is that how you really feel?" Lelouch can't keep himself from asking gently.

Suzaku nods with that very small smile, "Corny, right?" he laughs under his breath, looking elsewhere.

_A family…_

Lelouch had thought about it, the family life, just not quite in that same light as Suzaku. Perhaps Suzaku was too focused on the positives and Lelouch was too focused on the negatives; but that's how they ground each other – in an extremely annoying manner, but it works for them as sappy as that sounds.

"Corny or not, it sounds nice." Lelouch hears himself saying, somewhat surprised that his words are sincere.

Suzaku's eyes whip back to him, apparently he's also amazed.

Lelouch just smiles, "I just want you to promise me something, Suzaku."

Suzaku, the _adorable_ little boy, holds Lelouch's gaze with anticipation.

"What?"

His smile flat-lines, "If there is any kind of risk or complication with this pregnancy, promise me that you won't go through with it. You don't need to push yourself and I don't want any harm to come to you because of this 'miracle.' Do you understand? I want you to _live on _even if it's minus our little spawn. Don't forget there _are_ people who care about you and would be _devastated_ to lose you."

Suzaku's eyes get somewhat glassy with the coded command but it's brief and fleeting leaving him to make a slightly spacey nod.

"I promise."

Lelouch's smile returns, "Good."

He kisses Suzaku, taking the brunette a bit off guard. Those clover eyes gleam at him with another lip-curling grin that contradicts his slight glower of disapproval.

Suzaku fiddles with their linked fingers, "So… do you think we can do this?"

"I've said it before and I'll say it again: together you and I can accomplish anything." he rubs his other hand over the back of Suzaku's.

Suzaku laughs, "So you're just as scared shitless as I am?"

Hit the nail right on the head.

Lelouch frowns, "I don't think that's appropriate language for an expecting mother."

Suzaku just laughs again, pointing another smile Lelouch's way – an invitation for a kiss as far as Lelouch is concerned. He leans towards that smile, pressing firmly against lips that pucker back, flaunting his own grin when he pulls away.

"Know what?" Lelouch asks as scoots away from the balustrade.

Suzaku licks his lips, "What?"

"I never got to finish what I started this morning…" Lelouch murmurs, dipping his voice into a lusty tone.

He waits for his own flirtatious curve to mirror across Suzaku's lips before kissing them again, moving to Suzaku's cheek, then Suzaku's neck, letting his free fingers blindly work at Suzaku's pants…

"What about dinner with Nunnally?" Suzaku breathes out, squeezing the hand still in his grasp.

Lelouch halts.

He _actually _forgot about Nunnally – Hell must be freezing over.

But as perfect and precious as she is she's not Suzaku and, well, she's just _not _Suzaku – and Lelouch won't be deterred from _this_ mission again.

"Don't worry, I promise we'll _come _on time for dinner." Lelouch whispers the grammatically incorrect statement silkily in Suzaku's ear, moving his head down as he pulls a zipper in the same direction.

Any objection Suzaku might have made is tangled into a rapturous sound when Lelouch inserts that euphemism into his mouth.

* * *

So, you're still here? Great! I know this was relatively uneventful but I had to get all of that (abortion stuff) out of the way so I can get back to doing—I mean _writing_ more crack. In the very least, I hope you learned the moral of the chapter: abortions kill sexual appetites… at least I think that's what it was.

Now the translations for Suzaku and Lelouch's vulgarities: "Mukou ike" means "Fuck off" and "Tu baise de" means "You fuck off." If these are incorrect in any way, please let me know. I got them online and that's not always a dependable source.

A year older but not a year wiser,  
-Spunkay Skunk


	3. The Irony, It's Killing Me!

_So_ _SORRY_ this update took so long. There really is no excuse for the wait, so that's why I'm giving you a longer chapter (of 19,590 words – longer than the first two chapters _combined_) with smut _and_ plot! This was originally _supposed_ to be published on Suzaku's birthday (I wanted to write you a special birthday fic, Suzu, but I failed you! *is not worthy*) but internet drama got in the way and delayed this for a week… It's just so damn _convenient_, but that's what happened.

Now, I hope you're thirsty because some **lemonade**~ is coming your way! There's also a splash of **het** in this chapter as well. And FYI, it's currently about late-ish September in this story.

_This chapter is brought to you by the number _3_ and the word _Irony_. Stay tuned for the story after this public message._

Review Reply for Lulu:

I know I've already said that I have never once enjoyed an m-preg fic for various reasons, so I understand where you're coming from and am elated that you've enjoyed this so far. Good crack – that's a huge compliment. For one, I'm not always very secure about writing humor, two, because this is crack and crack can be tricky, but maintaining ICness is trickier in said crackiness. I'm happy that you think I'm keeping everyone IC because, despite the silliness of it all, I want them as identical to canon as possible because OOCness is the Devil. "Pure genius"? *gleefully spasms* Thank you for the review!

* * *

"_I believe that whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you… stranger." –The Joker_ from_ The Dark Knight_

•-•-3

Ambiguous

The Irony, It's Killing Me!

Suzaku is hard again.

Unlike this morning, however, Lelouch is able to appreciate the _wonders_ of the male anatomy knowing that he is the cause, the reason, the catalyst for the growth on Suzaku's pelvis and is _quite_ pleased with himself at how nicely he is _shaping_ the situation. He's not so sure Suzaku is being as appreciative as he should be, but it's his loss for not knowing how to – or allowing himself to – enjoy a show of such _wonder_ when it's presented to him as _wondrously_ as this.

…Right.

Anyway, it is Lelouch's personal objective to prove just why Suzaku shouldn't take this effort for granted. He has already successfully streaked a blush across Suzaku's cheeks, though that scowl blistering from his eyes is really spoiling the mood and needs to go. So with the fiendish smirk that's all too friendly with Lelouch's lips, he drags his tongue up and down the dripping length at his fingertips. He relishes the grumpy gleam over Suzaku's eyes that, despite being miffed in that very un-sexy way, cannot look away as Lelouch sensuously licks with his curling tongue and kisses with his puckering lips. He noisily sucks a few spots around the midsection before sweeping up the shaft and gently prods his tongue at the tip, gazing at Suzaku with mischievous desire that finally sends Suzaku's eyes away in a skittish flutter like a butterfly Lelouch frightened away. Lelouch chuckles very quietly in his throat and watches Suzaku squirm in place as he slinks his tongue around the skinny, red _wonder_ from tip to base and up to the tip again; lapping up all the leaking _juices_ melting down the sides and swallowing them before they can threaten the cleanliness of his fingers.

Lelouch pauses to smirk at Suzaku, catching the brief, chastising glower glanced his way by Suzaku's wide eyes but ignores it – as if Lelouch would concede to something so lame, or _at all_. He chooses to instead close his lips tightly around the top and suck animatedly again before loosening them only enough to allow the sweating length to slide through them, making sure to keep that eye-contact Suzaku _supposedly_ wants to avoid. Try as Suzaku might, though, there's just no escaping Lelouch's lascivious loving just like there's no hiding the excitement thriving between Suzaku's legs that's becoming more and more appetizing. Lelouch couldn't have a better feast for his eyes as he circles his tongue around the top and makes another quick, hard suck—

CHOKE-_HACK!_

COUGH-COUGH-_COUGH!_

Lelouch's hand clasps to his neck as his seductive act shatters thanks to the few but demoralizing bundle of coughs that rip from his clogged throat. His eyes are wide and watery, but the blockage that shot to the back of his mouth melts down his esophagus, immediately pulling him from Death's fingertips yet leaving him somewhat surprised that he received not even an _attempted_ rescue –never mind this all happens in a matter of seconds that barely lived.

"Are you alright?" he hears Suzaku ask drawly from his seat across the table.

"Big brother—!"

"I'm fine," Lelouch answers quickly but hoarsely, staring down at the unflattering _splat_ of his decapitated ice-pop on the pavement between his shoes with his hand still clung around his neck.

—So Lelouch _was_ able to relish all of Suzaku… from a distance. Lelouch can only look on for a moment, pallid-faced and dumbstruck – he certainly wasn't expecting _that_ to happen, so he didn't prepare a back-up plan to save him from looking as un-sexy as Suzaku's glower.

He hears Suzaku scoff in a very snide snicker, still idly chewing the stick left behind from his own green – "Sour Apple" – popsicle.

"Brother?"

Lelouch sweeps his eyes over his blind sister seated between him and Suzaku after glimpsing Suzaku starring off "uninterestedly" in another direction to see that she is wearing a puzzled expression.

"Are you sure you're all right? What happened?" Nunnally continues to ask with blue lips from her "Blue Raspberry" ice-pop.

"Lelouch's popsicle broke," Suzaku mutters, giving Lelouch another brief leer – and not the sexy kind of leer.

It appears Lelouch's effort at being _wondrous_ only got him a castrated dessert and his own _sour_ _apple_.

Not one is more appetizing than the other.

"Broke? You mean you're still eating yours?"

"Ah…" Lelouch makes a nervy smile at her, feeling for the first time this evening that she might have _seen_ his provocative show.

"No, he's too busy _playing_ with it," Suzaku derides lightly and Lelouch cannot believe he'd even dare to _suggest_ hinting about the sexual harassment Lelouch was intentionally engaging in.

Before Nunnally can even ask with her creased, little eyebrows—

"I was just trying to _enjoy_ it – _pardon me_ for taking my time rather than just inhaling it like a barbarian," he gibes plainly but in a haughty tone. "But it's melting too fast. I guess it's warmer out here than I thought."

Nunnally nods – still innocent from her brother's perverted scene.

_Lelouch: one._

_Suzaku: zero._

"You're right. I think it's actually a little warmer today than it was yesterday. I can't wait for the autumn breeze – I wish it would just get here already!"

"I'm sure that's not the _only_ thing you can't wait for autumn to bring, right Nunnally?" Lelouch smiles softly, wiping away his frown as he cleans his mouth with a beige, cloth napkin after turning a blind eye to his "Cherry" flavored failure still bleeding on the ground.

Whatever, Lelouch doesn't care for sweets anyway…

"That's right!" Suzaku exclaims his realization, his popsicle stick getting dumped on the empty plate in front of him. "Your fifteenth birthday is next month – such a scary age, right Lelouch?" Suzaku adds slyly.

Nunnally giggles but Lelouch scowls.

"Not as scary as eighteen," she smiles. "Big brother's birthday is coming soon, too."

"Of course. Can't forget about the Ice Prince's _wintery_ birthday," he laughs lightly, wagging his eyebrows at Lelouch.

"Quit talking like an idiot," Lelouch demands with a cross of his arms.

Suzaku ignores him, "It suits you, Lelouch. You're always so distant and frigid towards others, even with friends and acquaintances sometimes."

"Frigid?" Lelouch echoes objectionably over Nunnally's quiet giggle – perhaps trying to hide her amusement.

"So cold…" Suzaku smirks. "If Nunnally weren't here you'd probably have frozen over by now like some frosty Old Man Winter. But it's strange since you're a fire element aren't you? Though I guess that's where your temper comes in. But you're an A blood type, so maybe that explains it."

"If anyone knows how _frosty_ and _fiery_ I can be it'd certainly be you, wouldn't it Suzaku?" Lelouch smirks in return at the dabs of pink that resurface over Suzaku's cheeks at the understood implications of Lelouch's words. "And I'll have you know that I'm the 'aloof and reserved' type, not 'frigid.' That's just a misinterpretation on _your_ part."

"Yes, of course. _His Highness_ is always right. Pardon my _insolence_."

"As long as you understand… But you should know that my forgiveness comes at a steep price. I expect lots of groveling and begging and ego-stroking flattery, to start."

Suzaku is about to scoff another playful retort when the fountain of Nunnally's laughter becomes too lively to ignore, sending both violet and green eyes to her in perplexity.

"I'm so happy," Nunnally announces through her chuckles, feeling their empty gapes on her.

Lelouch and Suzaku just continue to look at her quizzically – did they miss something?

She sighs her laughter away and smiles for them, "The two of you seemed very angry with each other this morning. I'm glad that you've made up. The two of you shouldn't be fighting."

Lelouch and Suzaku exchange a look that speaks too many words and conveys too many emotions for a measly second to properly hold.

Lelouch sees Suzaku open his mouth but cuts him off, knowing that if either of them is going to defend with _words_ it should be Lelouch, the more articulate of the too.

The irony of that is not missed by the undercover terrorist.

"We weren't fighting; we were just at odds."

Suzaku gives him a funny look but Lelouch already knows that what he just said is lame – _especially_ for him.

"Of course." Nunnally nods.

Lelouch is almost positive that Nunnally just appeased him for the _sake_ of appeasing him.

Where and who the hell did she pick _that_ up from?

"Nunnally, I think you're getting too mature for Lelouch to handle," Suzaku snickers.

Lelouch glares at him – Suzaku's idiocy must be having negative effects on his adored little sister due to too much exposure.

_Stupid heathen_.

"Well, it's getting late." Lelouch cradles Nunnally's hand, rubbing his thumb tenderly over the back. "You should wash up and get changed for bed. I'll be there to tuck you in… Sayoko, would you mind?"

At first glance, the woman could be easily mistaken for a tomato with hair. She has been seated across from Nunnally all this time, and thus witnessed every second of Lelouch's scandalous way of eating his icy – and coincidentally _phallic_ – treat. But she nods politely and stands with a bow before hurriedly pulling the chair-bound girl from the patio and into the clubhouse.

Sayoko doesn't always dine with them, particularly when their little friend is around, but today the young masters had insisted that she didn't need to scuttle away when the boys finally came for dinner, late – they had looked strange when they had arrived but she didn't question it. Why Lelouch's lips were puffed and why Suzaku's face was a pink daze wasn't any of her business.

Sayoko is sure she knows their business now, if she hadn't before.

"I can't believe you," Suzaku chides quietly as they watch the maid's receding back. "In front of Nunnally is really pushing it for you, but at least she's blind. Sayoko had to _pretend_ she was blind to your sleazy, little, _burlesque_ show."

Lelouch just looks at him smugly from the corner of his eye.

"You're terrible…" Suzaku shakes his head with a sigh and a tired smile, looking away from the empty doorway. "I hope you didn't pull any shenanigans like that on any of your past staff."

"May I remind you I was only ten years of age the last time I had anyone close to Sayoko?"

Suzaku lifts an eyebrow at him, so he smirks.

"And you weren't around then to embarrass, either."

"That's what I thought." Suzaku grins. "But I guess you've learned your lesson. I don't think I've ever seen anyone _choke_ on an ice-pop before – and a broken one at that!"

It is Lelouch's own fault for not noticing how severely he had weakened the tip by sucking on it, but he's still oddly proud of himself for that fact…

…Ahem.

Lelouch dismisses the titters tumbling from Suzaku's lips with a half-shrug, "Don't say you didn't enjoy it."

Suzaku's laughter dies from the air as a confessional simper seals his lips.

Lelouch loves that simper.

"Let's just say that I think I'll need to sit here for a while…"

Lelouch doesn't hide the hum of satisfaction as he moves to sit a chair closer to Suzaku.

"Would you like some company?"

"As long as you don't touch me." Suzaku's suspicious eyes draw all over Lelouch as if to highlight his underlying intentions.

"I don't remember hearing you complain when we were on the roof."

Peels of apple-red adorn Suzaku's cheeks again as he bashfully casts his leafy eyes away to the courtyard in front of them – a courtyard that should probably worry Lelouch since this open area left the oral sex he just gave to his dessert vulnerable to any possible roaming eyes, but he isn't concerned. There have been no close passersby and any far away glances wouldn't have revealed much to distant Peeping Toms, unless of course they had some kind of tool to enhance their vision for distant viewing – but that's a needless road of debunked paranoia.

Lelouch knows they will be fine as long as he doesn't act in a more-than-friends way towards Suzaku – just to stay on the safe side.

"You'll never hear me complain," Suzaku murmurs almost to himself.

Lelouch nods, knowing Suzaku's statement is proven true by the past, and chooses to spare Suzaku anymore harassment – but only because he's been such a good sport this evening.

•-•

Lelouch emerges from Nunnally's room, feeling the success of nurturing her to sleep warming his spirit, just in time to see his lovable idiot treading through the hall towards, presumably, the bathroom, causing the already turning gears in his head to cycle faster.

Apparently Suzaku really _did_ need to sit outside if he's just now getting in…

Lelouch smirks to himself.

_Lelouch: two._

_Suzaku: zero._

The silence that had joined them after Sayoko and Nunnally left was peaceful and quiet, but too quiet. It gave Lelouch time to think and that can lead to some tremendous travesties in Lelouch's mind – being left alone with his thoughts is a cruel sentence for him, never having been the type to be able to stay idle for any period of time. It wasn't long before he was rummaging around to occupy himself by cleaning the sticky puddle he'd left on the ground to washing his hands a _few_ times along with the dishes left on the patio table and then giving the kitchen a nice once-over to be sure it was as spotless as it had been before any cooking had transpired – not to imply Sayoko is inefficient or untidy, she _is_ a maid, but it never hurts to double check. And then, of course, Lelouch had walked into his room to find that it deserved some critical attention as well.

The time spent (_re_)organizing his (_already_ _neat_) desk was certainly time well spent.

Soon enough Nunnally was awaiting his presence in her bedroom for their daily bonding moment – incidentally not significant enough to get more than this mention – before he tucked her into bed.

"Suzaku."

Suzaku pulls his eyes up from the floor and smiles genially, "Lelouch."

"What are you up to?"

"Oh, I was just gonna shower and hit the sack. I'm pretty tired today…"

Lelouch could never really sway Suzaku into staying the night like he's often wanted to due to the marauding witch that was casting the spell of infinite-pizza-smell in his room, but since she's been eradicated from his domain it's been a frequent lodging for Suzaku despite his usual discomfort with friendly hospitality…and the strange odor that never quite leaves.

But sooner or later, because of all of this pregnancy business, Lelouch will have to unofficially evict Suzaku from his dorm room across campus – having already decided that his friend will no longer have any choice or say about where he hunkers down at night. Lelouch realizes there is the extreme likelihood that they could be caught "living together" by other students, namely the student council as the general student body is not exactly _allowed_ to loiter aimlessly around or inside the clubhouse, but at that point the fact of the matter might already be obvious.

For now, with the weekend starting tomorrow, no one will really question Suzaku's occupancy around the Lamperouge siblings' makeshift home.

"Ah~" Lelouch says with raised eyebrows, hands in his pockets as they meet at the aforementioned room. "Would you like some more _company?_"

"But I thought you already showered this morning?"

"Suzaku…" Lelouch can't help but exhale before he grabs the boy's shoulders, "you're such an idiot." He pushes the boy into the bathroom, leading them both with a heated kiss.

•-•

An unnecessary scene change later finds the bathroom in a haze of steam.

Prestigious uniforms are in shambles on the floor, their empty folds outstretched towards their neglectful owners who are shrouded by the shower curtain that exposes only their combined silhouette. The light above the two boys is so luminous it sparkles in the army of hot-water rivulets cascading down their youthful skin and catches in the flecks of gold brushed over the ocher wall, glowing on the golden fixtures – lurid like a searchlight on a fleeing criminal as it blankets their every move with an unwarranted layer of heat. The touches of their lips and fingertips cannot outrun the light as they skim and press their way over toned muscles and angular shapes—Except, perhaps, the willowy digits of a pearl hand that are sliding down with a sculpting smoothness as they sneak into the crevice between ample cheeks, feeling for the _portal_ of their hideaway.

The reaction garnered by pressing against the scrunching opening is one that carves a carnal smile in Lelouch's lips and makes him smother two of his fingertips over the small gap in pestering persistence to see more of this behavior unfold – like teasing an itch that wants to be scratched.

Suzaku's breath carries a little mewl that's waiflike in the air but solid with deprivation when it lands in Lelouch's ears as his anus flexes in complaint against Lelouch's unintrusive fingers. His body tenses with that unfulfilled anticipation as starchy muscles knot underneath his supple skin pebbled by the pour of water raining on their side, flooding over one of Lelouch's shoulders and down Suzaku's stomach. It constantly rinses their mingled fluids away; washing over the twitch Suzaku's throbbing erection makes in Lelouch's hand as he is probed, causing Lelouch to squeeze their gathered lengths together. Lelouch revels in the way Suzaku shudders in their tangled embrace when he resumes stroking and rubbing their organs together with his hand, leaning his weight more heavily between Suzaku's legs to achieve better friction.

"_Lelouch_…" Suzaku breathes amorously while his entrance is swabbed by tormenting fingers, tightly threading a hand through Lelouch's moist hair with his other clamped around Lelouch's upper arm.

_That's right_, Lelouch says inside his prideful head as he starts to bite low on Suzaku's neck, _say my name._

Lelouch gropes their genitalia, massaging and rubbing their testicles together in a firm grip that sails another enchantingly drafty moan from Suzaku's mouth and spurs a bump of his hips to insist Lelouch's fingers inside, before Lelouch finally indulges him. It pleases Lelouch how cleanly and rigidly Suzaku's back arcs away from the wall, leaving his lolling head to be the only upward support, and how keenly his legs try to spread farther apart when he is slowly intruded by a gentle forefinger. Lelouch is so enthralled with Suzaku's response that he doesn't fiddle around with wasting more time on teasing, rather breaching Suzaku's occupied entry with his middle finger right away. Seems Suzaku wasn't expecting another _guest_ so soon as his hips quirk and his throat whimpers slightly, but both are quickly thrown away by a louder, desirous moan extending from Suzaku's aroused appetite.

"_Mmm… louch…_"

It isn't long before Suzaku's arms coil around Lelouch's neck, belted as if the strong hold will keep him from launching up through the ceiling as Lelouch's fingers slide in and out of him, casually fondling his squirming insides and his sensitive prostate. He continues to carefully plunge his fingers up into Suzaku's contracting body, the memory of how unbearably compact and hot these muscles clenching around his fingers are searing his erection in painful pulses. Lelouch slinks his hand up their stony shafts to grasp their profusely leaking caps and messily smear the pad of his thumb over them as he watches Suzaku's face practically melt off his skull. His eyes are shutdown in bliss, his skin is sponged a pining red, and his mouth is parted to let controlled sounds of pleasure trickle past his lips. They step louder the more his body writhes like they're linked together as they both bend and gain enthusiasm the more attentive Lelouch's hands become – his own vehemence feeling inspired by Suzaku's performance. Suzaku's legs are so open, leaving him so vulnerably exposed that it has Lelouch's fingers increasing to a starved, thrusting pace in order to feed the twinging lurch his erection made at the thought of being buried in that same torrid grip.

It would be exceedingly enjoyable to sheath himself inside Suzaku, undoubtedly, but it's not as though a little _sword_-_fighting_ once in a while will kill Lelouch – this is the only type of recreational sword-play he enjoys, after all. It's neither boring nor dissatisfying… or threatening to his well-being. It is so very much the opposite. Entering Suzaku is a privilege – an _extremely_ pleasurable privilege – not a requirement or (necessarily) the ultimate goal of their physical relationship, so if Suzaku doesn't want it, it doesn't happen. Simple as that – and with gravity also working against Lelouch in this position, well… There are so many activities they can engage in with each other that they don't have to limit themselves to a vanilla flavored intimacy.

(Not that just a good, senseless fu—_fornication_ is terrible, but Lelouch actually rather likes the sentiment of being "exclusive lovers."

Like they only belong to each other and no one else.)

That's why Suzaku's thighs are becoming inexorably inviting to Lelouch with that coating of wet heat thanks to not _only_ the shower, their smooth surface despite the fine wires of copper hair prickling from his skin, and their powerful muscles laced tight underneath like a lean cheetah…

A very sexy, lean cheetah.

It invokes something in Lelouch and has him speaking a sequence of words he never thought he would hear himself say:

"Suzaku, close you legs."

It is a whisper of an order and lustful even under the currents of air bustling from Lelouch's mouth, but it has Suzaku looking at him bemusedly all the same.

"…What?" Suzaku pants.

Lelouch flicks his tongue over the tip of Suzaku's nose and pulls a little on Suzaku's rectum – an unavoidable, throaty groan whining over clenching muscles – as he replaces his body with the length of his sturdy erection between Suzaku's thighs, being sure to brush it against Suzaku's sac as he slips underneath.

"Just do it," Lelouch murmurs, lightly sweeping his lips over Suzaku's agape mouth as he rests his left hand on Suzaku's leg to usher it closed.

Suzaku is panting and quizzical but compliant as usual.

His thighs feel just the way they looked as they awkwardly close on Lelouch: soft, slick, firm, and they compress tightly enough with those brawny muscles on Lelouch's straining flesh to make him groan lightly through his nose. He grips Suzaku's hip and Suzaku's arms hug him closer, their mouths connecting in a passionate mesh of slippery lips and tongues as Lelouch starts to move experimentally until he finds it too enjoyable to moderate himself. Suzaku appears to like it as well – or maybe that's because of the aggressive thrusting of Lelouch's fingers with potent strikes to his prostate… Either way, Suzaku's body is spastic and he's trying to hide his sounds in Lelouch's mouth like always, so that can only mean good things.

This way is actually a little easier for Lelouch in that he can get Suzaku started while still penetrating him without the threat of his slacking stamina giving up halfway through – although, with Suzaku's thighs shut tightly, Lelouch has made fingering a little more difficult than it needs to be. Regardless, Lelouch can move at his own pace without tiring and still satisfy Suzaku at the same time.

It's a total win-win.

But it's not as though Lelouch _has_ failed or _is_ fearful of failing to pleasure Suzaku, but he isn't blind to reality. Physically speaking, Suzaku is practically God whereas Lelouch barely qualifies to be amongst the living.

Lelouch doesn't know if he wants to damn or thank the being that created Suzaku's _wonderful_ body…

He grabs Suzaku's erection again as his hips heave to-and-fro, stroking Suzaku's blood inflamed flesh as he plows his fingers over Suzaku's prostate in the _ungodly_ pace of his thrusting pelvis. Despite how crude it all sounds Suzaku is a veritable frame of tense gelatin that quivers excitedly as he is pleasured by hands that know the weaknesses of his mold all too well. The fingers rubbing over the tip of his length and the spot in his passage are too unforgiving in their loving that he feels dizzy in the clouding scent of their musk that's caught in the steam and stealing their oxygen. Suzaku is breathless and gasping as he holds Lelouch's shoulders for support he can no longer bring himself, and it makes Lelouch unbelievably complacent. He begins to thrust faster between Suzaku's velvety steel thighs as the boy's hips roll on the fingers plundering his closing walls in time with the hand pumping his glistening length.

It all ends a lot more quickly than Lelouch expects – surprise, surprise – but the burst that drains the life out of him is still too intoxicating for him to feel anything but bliss. Suzaku constricts around his fingers and splashes his chest as his own release spills over the wall behind Suzaku's legs…

Lelouch groans mindlessly as he sags into Suzaku, pressing him against the wall like when they had started.

"…I don't think…I can stand up…any longer…" Suzaku pants.

"…Me neither." Lelouch puffs.

As if those were magical words of admittance, they slide down the wall in each others' arms, Suzaku sitting on the edge of the tub while Lelouch is stopped by his knees, and they pant to their lungs' content.

"This is why I said…we should have taken…a bath…instead of a shower…"

Agitation wrinkles Lelouch's brow, "I thought you said…I would never…hear you…complain… And I already…told you…that baths…are _not_ sanitary," Lelouch grouses, sluggishly turning the showerhead off to clean themselves – and the _wall_ – of any residue before plugging the drain with the chain stopper so they can relax in _clean_ bath water together.

Suzaku just huffs before moving away from hunching over Lelouch and into the tub.

Eventually, once the water has risen to an agreeably level above their navels, Suzaku shuts the water off and they rest long-ways in the fairly spacious tub, the limp weight of Lelouch's body cozy between his legs as he lies against Suzaku as if he were a pillow.

Lelouch has been relatively unresponsive.

"Hey," Suzaku addresses with a tug on Lelouch's hair, "don't go falling asleep in the bath. I don't want you drowning on me now."

_So some time before now would've been acceptable?_

Lelouch bats at Suzaku's hand with a mild scowl, "I'm not so exhausted that I'd perish right now."

"Yeah. Need I remind you of a certain _macaroni_ mishap?"

"There's no need for that."

It's not an interesting story, really.

So let's not bring it up again.

Ever.

"Can't I just sit here with you and relax in _peace_?" Lelouch questions a bit tartly.

Suzaku sighs to himself, reclining against the bathtub and rests his hand back on top of Lelouch's head. Lelouch lets his body lie boneless against Suzaku with his fingers sifting through the drying threads of his hair in soft, absent strokes in the serenity of the still bathroom. The water is quiet as it ripples from their steady heartbeats and calm breaths of which Lelouch feels pushing his head when Suzaku's chest inflates and deflates in silent relaxation. Lelouch closes his eyes, absorbing the sheer tranquility of the moment and Suzaku's living, breathing body that's supporting him, letting all his stress and worries decompose from his mind.

He drifts to a soothing, mellow place where there are no impending troubles of war or parenthood that grow more threatening with each breath he takes and every second that passes by. There is no outside world that can seep into this bathroom that's _just_ a bathroom and nothing more as they sit in a bathtub that's just a bathtub. All that exists is the two of them, in the present with no history or future nipping at their heels and toes. He's just Lelouch – not former prince "Lelouch vi Britannia" with a dead mother or the unfulfilling alias "Lelouch Lamperouge" – and Suzaku is just Suzaku – not the pilot of Lancelot or Euphemia's Knight, and most certainly not pregnant.

It's a hard lie to lose himself in when his brain is his own worst enemy, but even if it's true for a second Lelouch knows he's managed to save a part of himself from being squashed underneath all the pressure trying to break him…

Suzaku's twiddling with Lelouch's hair pauses, "…You know I had a meeting with Princess Euphemia today."

Lelouch hums noncommittally – somehow he doesn't like where this is going. He feels Suzaku's voice prying open this insignificant bathroom-world by the seams, allowing all the things Lelouch wanted to escape from to come pouring in slowly through its broken walls.

Suzaku just can't respect the after-glow peace.

Suzaku takes in a quick breath, "Well, I stepped down, I mean, I've renounced my Knighthood. I'm no longer her knight. There'll probably be talk about it on the news, but I thought—"

Lelouch lurches off of Suzaku with water storming up around him in a wet clatter to gape at the suddenly _former_ knight in shock and disconcertment.

He swears Suzaku is the only person ever able to catch him off-guard.

"You _what_?"

Suzaku's eyes are pulled down by a sullen weight and his fingers find each other underneath the water.

"I thought you'd be happy to hear this."

Lelouch blinks.

Then blinks again.

"Suzaku…" Well, perhaps that's true – Lelouch can't lie and say he isn't, but at the expense of _what_ will Lelouch's happiness come? "No, I'm surprised. I thought this was important to you. You didn't do this for me, did you?" Lelouch quickly reconsiders, "No, for the baby."

"That wasn't the only reason I did it. It's something I've been thinking about lately, before I knew about _this_, but I guess you could say that it was a deciding factor."

Lelouch frowns slightly, resting his hand on Suzaku's knee, "Are you sure that's what you wanted?"

Lelouch should be thrilled, but he knows these "reasons" probably stem from some misplaced self-deprecation.

Or maybe something more impure.

"Yeah. But like I said, there were a lot of reasons."

Lelouch nods more to himself, seeing the walls close up in Suzaku's eyes around the things he doesn't want shared – not at this moment. He rubs his hand over Suzaku's damp hair and pulls that brown head close to kiss the small, anxious knot in Suzaku's brow away as he slips from between Suzaku's legs to his side.

"So _that's_ what had you so restless this morning?"

"_NO!_" Suzaku yells in a panic-stricken shriek, vaulting away from Lelouch, apparently taking his turn to anger the bath water as it spikes violently around them.

Lelouch stares at him, utterly bewildered, until he watches Suzaku's face practically erupt into flames, sparks of defensive nerves and shock flickering in his wide eyes.

That's when Lelouch realizes what he just implied…

Suzaku + erection = …_thoughts of Euphemia?_

Lelouch's mouth shoots open with a start, Suzaku's flush melting his own cheeks as he reaches for the boy as if that will pull him from the _demented_ images of Euphemia on top of Suzaku—

That's right, Euphemia on _top_ of Suzaku.

—with her pink hair jostling in the air like windswept streamers around their sweaty bodies stained pink by arousal while their pink lips outline their loud moans as their _pink_ _parts_—

"It isn't like _that_ – I _swear!_" Suzaku looks like he's just been slapped in the face with the tortuous pictures in Lelouch's head as his face burns darker, his hands waving and head shaking in the negative to Lelouch's unintentional implication.

"_That_ isn't what I meant!" Lelouch rebuffs as he shakes Suzaku, mentally pleading for this horrible, _horrible_ scene to end.

They stare at each other as the water dies down from their frantic movements that tried to erase something that can never be undone, gaping wordlessly at the seconds of this scene stringing between them on the coattails of an arrogant elephant sauntering out of the room. Their faces are still brushed the colour of a certain Third Princess's hair – maybe the Second Princess's now, actually – and their eyes are still wide, their hands still grasping each other. Lelouch tightens his grip on Suzaku's shoulders, causing Suzaku's hands to do the same around his elbows, and leans his forehead against Suzaku's with an exasperated sigh – choosing to be the one who closes the door behind that obnoxious elephant.

"What I meant was…" Lelouch restarts, a little strained. "That's why you were so anxious this morning?"

He's not really sure if he likes his choice of rephrasing.

"…Yeah." Suzaku plays along, letting Lelouch recoil into the tub's wall like before – _before_ the appearance of a manic Euphemia riding an arcing Suzaku—

No! _Bad_ brain.

Bad, _dirty_ brain!

"As long as you think you made the right choice." He tries to soothe, winding his arm around Suzaku's shoulders when the boy slides in next to him. "But you're still Lancelot's pilot, right?"

"Yes, that doesn't change…" Suzaku leans into Lelouch's halfway embrace.

"You know, Suzaku, that should change. Do you think you can continue fighting—?"

"I know." Suzaku interrupts. "I just…"

"No, I don't think you understand." Since Lelouch had been handed this opportunity it has been resting in his palms, just waiting to be flashed at the right moment – and while Lelouch is sure there are better moments to pick from that aren't potentially debilitating to his friend, there's nothing like playing the guilt card on Suzaku to make him bend; and it's not as though any of this is untruthful or insincere. Moreover, it's not like Lelouch is above using this to his advantage. After all, he had done something similar as Zero just before they were blown practically to Hell by Schneizel. "The risks you gamble with are bad enough for you _alone_. You were irate with me when I only _suggested_ you _consider_ getting an abortion, but then you're going to march onto the battlefield as if that's a free pass?"

"_I know_," Suzaku repeats, clearly unhappy. "I told you I'd do what was necessary; it's just going to take a little time so please be patient. Not everything happens all at once, Lelouch."

_You wouldn't know it by looking…_

"I am patient. But it's hard to practice such a virtue in hostile times."

"It wouldn't be nearly as hostile if Zero and his Black Knights weren't around," Suzaku grumbles.

Lelouch feels his chest burn and his jaw clench – not so much because of Suzaku's ill-concealed dislike of Lelouch's own force, but because what he's saying is (_only_) partly true. But what does that mean? Should Lelouch give it all up just so Suzaku can pursue his foolish ideals, even if Suzaku _could_ continue with a bloated belly? Why does _Lelouch_ have to quit?

No, Lelouch doesn't quit. He solves the puzzle and moves forward.

This case will be no different.

"I'm sure the same could be said the other way around."

If there was no Britannia, at least on Japanese soil, there would be a pleasant veil of peace, and they both know it.

Suzaku doesn't respond right away but his body tenses and the isolated aurora that Lelouch was previously trying to believe was real is very suddenly the opposite – never mind the whole Euphemia thing that practically killed his mind and possibly his _soul _– as the comforting water begins to turn cold.

"…Anyway, I still have to talk to Lloyd. I'm just not sure how to handle him. I have a feeling he might try to convince me none of this is real just so I'll continue to complete his beloved Lancelot."

"Just be firm with him," Lelouch advises. "Use all that stubbornness of yours and stand your grand. I'm quite positive you're capable of doing that."

More positive than Suzaku will ever know.

Suzaku smiles faintly, a wry and sheepish curve of his lips.

"Just remember, Suzaku, sometimes it's acceptable to be selfish. Don't let your compassion or guilt get in the way."

"Alright I'll try to remember that," Suzaku mumbles dryly.

"Do or do not. There is no try."

Suzaku rolls his eyes.

"I'm serious." Lelouch defends with a soft smile, raking his hands up through the frizzy, damp curls of Suzaku's hair.

"I know you are. That's why I rolled my eyes."

Lelouch only replies with a flat hum and a possessive kiss that's far from fleeting, stealing Suzaku's lips as he holds his brunet in place in the cage of his steely fingers. Suzaku is an accommodating and willing receiver as always, opening his mouth and unfurling his tongue like a red carpet to welcome Lelouch's serpentine intrusion.

A pleasant noise seeps out of Suzaku's throat at this sudden ravishment as they sink deeper in their osculation and it spurs Lelouch's carnal appetite, but Lelouch doesn't want to be pulled under again just yet. He pulls back before he's in over his head with obstinate lust, scraping his teeth over a bottom lip just the way Suzaku likes.

"How about tomorrow we have a nice day out, a little date to relieve our stress and just enjoy ourselves? Just you, me,"—Lelouch caresses Suzaku's abdomen—"and the small fry here. We haven't done anything _alone_ and outside of school together in a while. How does that sound to you?"

Technically, they've never had a _proper_ date. With all their time consumed by school and after school _activities_ there hasn't been much spare time for them, and even when they are together it's always in the privacy of Lelouch's bedroom or on the roof (except there _was_ that one time in the Student Council room…) and they're usually doing some form of the nasty…

"That sounds like a plan. But," Suzaku gives him a silly grin, "'small fry'?"

"Yeah, you know, fry: a baby fish – or a baby seahorse, in this case."

Suzaku is still grinning at Lelouch like he's being ridiculous – as if _Suzaku_ is one to judge – but his hand drapes over the one still resting on his flat stomach nonetheless.

"I hope you don't plan on choosing that for a name."

Lelouch's eyebrows lifts a little with intrigue, "I wasn't considering it." Of course he hasn't even _thought_ about considering names yet, either. "But now I think I might."

"Don't."

"You can't tell me what to do. If I want the name Fry, I'll choose it."

"Over my dead body will _my_ child's name be 'Fry,'" Suzaku quips breezily.

Lelouch makes a tiny, wry smile wishing Suzaku had picked a better dramatic expression for his case; leaning over Suzaku to kiss those lips again, softer and more tenderly than before. Suzaku squeezes Lelouch's hand as he returns the gesture, a light sigh passing through his nose.

"Lelouch…" Suzaku murmurs between their lips and when Lelouch withdraws Suzaku gives him a small smile touched by shyness, "Thank you."

Lelouch doesn't voice a response. He just resumes kissing Suzaku with firmer lips.

•-

-•

Suzaku huffs when another book is mounted atop the climbing column in his arms. He gives Lelouch a nasty eye but those trained plums are already busy searching the shelves for more material. He sighs heavily as he watches Lelouch's attention wander over book spines, attempting to gently juggle the weight of knowledge in his hands. When his not-so-subtle exhale of distress is ignored, he groans.

"_Come on~_ Lelouch. Don't you think this is enough? I can barely see where I'm going!"

"Don't be so dramatic."

"Look who's talking," Suzaku mutters. "I don't think we really need a mountain of books – and why am I carrying all of them? I thought I wasn't supposed to be doing anything 'strenuous,' remember?"

"You're not helpless," Lelouch glances at him briefly, "and you _do_ need to keep your strength."

Suzaku scoffs.

"Besides, I didn't think carrying a few books constituted as something _strenuous_ for you, but if you can't handle it…" Lelouch trails with a sly grin, reaching for yet another book.

"That's not the point!" Suzaku blurts, immediately getting several shushes shot his way.

Lelouch chuckles quietly as he thumbs through a bright yellow book.

"You're terrible." Suzaku furrows his brow at the very unwanted attention. "And I thought this was supposed to be a 'nice day out,' but we've been in this bookstore since we got here _hours_ ago."

"Terrible would be abandoning you to take care of this on your own instead of sticking with you and doing this together. There's no such thing as being over-prepared," he bites tonelessly not bothering to look at the pained expression that flitters across Suzaku's face.

Lelouch knows Suzaku was only being facetious and that he didn't need to snap at him, but he isn't about to take such a remark even in a jest. Aside from that, Suzaku's complaining, though rare, is like listening to a child wine and while Lelouch believes pregnancy hormones – or lack thereof – aren't enough to throw Suzaku off his typical emotional imbalance, Suzaku might let his mind rule over matter. Simply put, Suzaku will become a real pain in the ass if Lelouch gives him too much freedom.

Or at least that's what Lelouch thinks.

He's probably still a little grouchy about yesterday morning, too – it's not as though Lelouch is one to forgive easily.

Sayoko _saw him in his underwear_ for crying out loud!

"Can't we at least sit down for a while? My arms are getting tired," Suzaku pleads whilst bumbling with the books in his hold.

_Says Mr. Stamina._

"I suppose." Lelouch turns to him and displays the book in his hands like a showcase model, "I did find you the _perfect_ book, after all."

Lelouch watches a glower fall over Suzaku's face when his eyes translate the title in his brain, smiling at his seahorse when that plain stare is aimed at him.

"_Pregnancy for Dummies_. You think you're real funny, don't you?"

Lelouch shrugs with a tightening smile: _yes, yes I do_.

"It's actually a very practical book that even us non-dummies can appreciate." Lelouch gestures for Suzaku to follow him as he walks down the aisle. "Come. I think it's time for some refreshments."

He's certain Suzaku rolls his eyes once his back is turned, but he smiles to himself anyway as he weaves through the aisles to the connected café nook at the far end of the store.

"I don't want anything. I'll just—"

"I didn't _ask_ you if you wanted anything," Lelouch interjects coolly. "I _know_ you need something. So if you'd like to make a request I suggest you make it now." Lelouch stops and turns towards Suzaku as they stand amidst the pepper of mahogany chairs and tables on the café's tiled floor, the service counter just ahead of them.

Suzaku stares at Lelouch for a moment, his eyes slightly unfocused as if he's determining in his head how much he can really fight Lelouch on this – or if he really should.

He can't and shouldn't, obviously.

"Whatever you think is best, I don't care." Suzaku concedes with a little shrug and a cast off of his eyes.

Lelouch smiles broadly, "Good answer." – No, _correct_ answer. "Go find a table and relax while I buy some _comestibles_," Lelouch says with a dry air, walking towards the counter – already having decided _exactly_ what he'll order.

He knows Suzaku either rolls his eyes or shakes his head behind his back again, but that is the intended reaction.

Lelouch stands in the short line consisting of two bodies, watching Suzaku shuffle over to a table right next to the elongated window and gently sets the stack of books down – reminding Lelouch that he's still holding the same one. Suzaku takes a seat, the chairs arranged to be parallel with the window, and appears to almost shrink into his long, steel blue coat as he sits alone – separated from the other few, Britannian, customers on the other end of the café like a deserted island – and gazes through the glass at the main hall of this shopping mall.

The sight sews a thin frown into Lelouch's lips and he looks away to browse through the book while he waits for his turn to order.

Lelouch knows Suzaku's unease isn't just from the confusing – very, very, _very_ confusing – phenomenon taking place inside his body, but also from his surroundings. He's in a _Britannian_ mall with a _Britannian_ friend – though not if anyone should ask – and he's surrounded by _Britannians_ and their _Britannian_ culture in a place that was once Japanese in every way. Suzaku may not be bothered so much by the fact that he, an Honorary Britannian, is submerged in the _purest_ of the _pure_ but by the fact that he doesn't belong simply because it's not "his place" to be here. Whether or not this is because _Suzaku_ truly believes he isn't their equal or because _they_ truly believe he is not their equal… sometimes it's hard to discern.

Lelouch hates that.

This attitude of Suzaku's, whichever it may be, will have to change if they're to raise a child _together_ in this crooked world. Not as a Britannian and a Japanese, but as two human beings. If anything, the fact that they're both male might distract from their difference in race anyway – especially if anyone were to learn that no woman was needed for their pregnancy.

…_Lord_, Lelouch really needs to get to the bottom of this.

If only _Suzaku's_ bottom wasn't more tempting…

"Milk – sweetened with honey – for you," Lelouch places the clear, plastic cup down on the table in front of Suzaku and then a small, paper plate beside it, "along with a fiber-rich, bran muffin."

Suzaku looks down at the two items with faint surprise, reflecting that same expression onto Lelouch – more importantly, his hands – as the older gent seats himself on the other side of the table.

"You didn't get anything?"

"I don't want anything."

Suzaku eyes his snack with mild distaste, "So I have to eat but you don't? And why do I have milk sweetened with honey?"

"Because you should avoid caffeine whenever possible and you need lots of calcium. This being a café, it's either cups of _caffeine_ or milk – I didn't think you'd appreciate plain milk so I had it sweetened with honey." Lelouch says plainly.

Suzaku looks back down at the milk and muffin, something like amazed annoyance glimmering in his eyes – of course probably having noticed that Lelouch didn't bother to answer his first question – at how Lelouch is already using some of the knowledge he has absorbed today.

"So, I saw something in here about pregnancy myths…" Lelouch starts casually, carefully flipping the pages of the book still in his hands. "I think that would be a more familiar and entertaining place to start."

If Lelouch needs anything right now it's definitely familiarity and practicality, never mind everything else.

"Fine by me," Suzaku chimes in amiably, sipping his honey milk through the straw. "Are you going to read them to me, daddy~?"

Lelouch can feel his eye twitch.

If Suzaku is uncomfortable about anything now he's good at hiding it.

Or maybe he's forgotten his discomfort already.

"Don't do that."

"But that's what you are."

"I know that and you know that, there's no need to say it out loud."

"Why Lelouch," Suzaku starts in an obvious tease with crumbs from the muffin littering his lips, "if I didn't know any better I'd say you're embarrassed of being a parent."

Embarrassed? That's preposterous.

Lelouch doesn't get embarrassed.

That's a _fact_.

"Let's see…" Lelouch ignores Suzaku, skimming for something interesting—"Oh… Suzaku you're wrong."

"Wrong about what? Your—" Suzaku starts cattily.

"About having sex during pregnancy."

That shut him up.

"It says here," Lelouch continues, "that as long as the pregnancy is 'normal' or 'low risk' for complications like miscarriage or pre-term labor, it's possible to have sex up until birth. In other words, it won't induce labor or harm the baby – given that parents are careful, of course."

"What's a low risk pregnancy?"

"Generally a healthy one…" Lelouch answers as he scans for more information. "We'd really have to consult a doctor to learn if ours is 'normal' enough for sex. But I think it might be too risky to tempt, though. Even if we can doesn't necessarily mean we'll want to. It all just depends…"

Suzaku visibly deflates a little but still peers at the book in natural curiosity.

"What does it say there?" he asks, pointing to a special note about one _certain_ act.

Lelouch quickly reads the text following Suzaku's finger, "Hm…"

"What?"

"Apparently, when giving you oral sex I need to be sure that I don't blow any air into your vagina."

Suzaku's face: BL**—–-**_USH!_

"I'll have to remember that," Lelouch notes casually, starting to fold the corner of the page down for show.

"You don't have to remember that!" Suzaku's red face protests, once again getting shushed for his outcry. Suzaku scowls at the other patrons like a pouting child and Lelouch laughs quietly.

"All right, all right. I won't mark it." Lelouch smoothes the paper. "I don't need to anyway; I've already saved the information in my archive."

"You're not funny."

Lelouch shrugs, "Depends on your point of view."

"I don't know, Lelouch. Your ego is so big that it _blocks_ my view."

Lelouch's eyebrows raise and he looks at Suzaku.

Then he smiles.

"Well, now, I'm too proud of you for making that remark that I can't feel insulted."

Suzaku offhandedly tosses his eyes away from Lelouch as he takes another large bite of the muffin.

_Lelouch: three._

_Suzaku: zero._

Lelouch is smirking when he notices a conspicuous mop of blond hair accompanied by blue and orange trying to obscure themselves behind the _green_ foliage of a topiary in the median of the main hall.

He has to resist the urge to roll his eyes – it's almost like they're _trying_ to get caught.

"Don't look now but the _Spy_ Council is watching us," Lelouch murmurs to Suzaku, carefully moving his eyes away from the crowd outside the shop.

Suzaku's eyes pull back to him, "Who?"

"Milly and her two faithful followers are outside, hiding behind that bush."

"Really?" Suzaku looks skeptical – the fool.

"Really. They must have been watching us the whole time…" he tiredly flips through the book to make himself look busy and unsuspecting – if _this_ wasn't important, he might not ignore them so easily.

"Why would they do that?"

"Because Milly isn't satisfied just living her _own_ life," Lelouch answers with slight scorn dragging his voice. "And she seems to have it out for me. I'm not sure why."

Suzaku's stare falls into the cup of milk nestled inside the curve of his thumb, watching the liquid swirl as he moves it in tight circles.

"Would it really be so bad?" Suzaku asks quietly.

"Would what be so bad?"

"If they knew about us."

Lelouch flicks his eyes up to Suzaku's but they are still diving to the bottom of the whirlpool in his cup.

"I'm…" green eyes slowly ascend to meet violet. "This _condition_ that I'm in, you know, I won't be able to hide it forever."

"That's true," Lelouch starts cautiously. "But I don't want to jump the gun and I don't mean to bring you down when I say this, but, we're not sure how everything will pan out yet. We don't know if there won't be any complications that might force our fry to…"—Suzaku's eyes start to look heavy and it weighs on Lelouch's voice—"not become a seahorse. We should definitely wait until we have our situation handled before we let it loose," he finishes as delicately as he can.

Suzaku just nods and looks down at his drink again.

Lelouch wants to expel this dreadful weight in his chest with a deep sigh but he feels like it might have a negative effect on Suzaku so he refrains, instead looking down at the book that's currently informing him about "nesting."

"So you don't want them knowing unless it's absolutely necessary?"

Their eyes lock together again.

Lelouch is aware of what Suzaku is implying: fear, shame, frustration, hatred, and resentment towards those who deny them and their union. Their easy, student façade of a life would come crashing down in an instant.

"It's not that…" Lelouch leans back in his seat, his repressed sigh leaking thinly through his nose. "I value my privacy, Suzaku. You know that."

_But to honestly answer your question: yes._

In Lelouch's experience, it's usually safer to hide behind secrets.

But with a safety like that, typically comes unbridled stress.

"You don't think we can trust them?" Suzaku candidly bites his muffin.

"Milly is included in the 'them,' right?"

Suzaku chidingly tilts his head, "Lelouch."

"Don't 'Lelouch' me; you know _exactly_ what I'm talking about. Do you have any idea how we'll be treated if our secret get's out? And I'm not talking about prejudice or racism, but the sheer glee Miss Presidential pain-in-my-ass will get from harassing me – who _already_ loves to harass me, if I need to remind you. I would _hope_ that she'd realize the sensitivity of our relationship in this environment to not make the news as public as possible, but even amongst the Student Council we're not safe. We'll never be left alone and there will be numerous jokes at our expense, among many other terrible things I'm sure. So thanks, but no thanks. I'm completely comfortable with her knowing absolutely _nothing_."

"Alright, I get it!" Suzaku smiles at Lelouch's rant and it drains some of the pressure clotting Lelouch's chest.

"Good, then it's agreed – after all, my _Highness_ is always right, isn't it?"

Suzaku laughs a little and sips his drink again, "So… we shouldn't tell anyone, anything?"

"Well, of everyone, I think we can trust Arthur the most. You can tell him all about if you so desire."

Suzaku's lips curl at that, "I think I do so desire, but I can't speak on Arthur's behalf."

Lelouch's shoulders shimmy with noiseless chuckles—

"What about Nunnally?"

—and they quickly cease. His eyes draw sharp lines over Suzaku's face, but he's not sure if it's for intimidation or disapproval.

Either way, Suzaku is ostensibly unsettled by it.

"What about her?"—that didn't exactly carry an inquisitive inflection; rather, it bared threatening fangs.

Suzaku's eyes are firm, "You _know_ what I'm talking about. I've _told_ you how I feel about it _more_ than once."

"…"

"What, are you ignoring me?"

"No."

"Then what?"

Lelouch sighs, his eyes landing on the book once more, "I don't think it's an issue…"

"You don't?" Suzaku's voice is bland. "Don't you think she deserves to know?"

"Looks to me like she's already caught wind of us."

Suzaku's hand fists on the table, "That _isn't_ _the_ _point_."

_Why is it always "the point" with you?_ Lelouch internally grumbles, resting his head in the claw of his hand, eyes far from meeting Suzaku's.

"Do you want to tell her now because of small fry or because you think she just _deserves_ to know?"

"…Both."

"Hm."

"Lelouch… I know you take great care in keeping her bubble world intact and flawless, but this isn't really a threat to her innocence, is it?"

"I never said it was."

"Then why is it so important that she _not_ know?"

"It isn't that it's important for her to remain unaware, it's just…" Lelouch's mouth stays open, but the words on the tip of his tongue are suddenly struck with stage-fright. He looks at Suzaku, a careful observance to give those words courage, but instead they only lose more of it.

The answer is really rather simple: Nunnally is and always has been his entire world, and in a sense she always will be – but therein lies the problem, "in a sense." It's a twisted, jealous insecurity that prevents him from coming clean, professing his love for Suzaku to Nunnally, because she is supposed to be the only receiver of his affections. There was never supposed to be another. Sure, she's likely to be very happy and supportive for them, as accepting as the angel she is, but that means a portion of his heart has essentially been dissected from her "bubble world," as Suzaku had called it.

To be precise, it would feel like Lelouch is failing her in some way, even if that is an irrational, illogical notion.

And Lelouch cannot accept failure.

"Just what?" Suzaku asks, calling an end to Lelouch's pause.

"I'll think about it," is all he offers in response.

Suzaku conducts his own survey of Lelouch as said boy returns to leafing through his trusty, new handbook, ignoring Suzaku's study as he studies himself.

"Right," Suzaku deadpans.

Apparently Suzaku discovered he's reached the end of this discussion and knows better than to pursue an alternate route around Lelouch's stubbornness.

"It really wouldn't kill you to open up a little more to me, would it?"

Or maybe Lelouch gives Suzaku too much credit.

"I think it might, yes," Lelouch answers simply, angling the book closer to his face – huh, he _did_ notice in the shower last night that Suzaku's nipples looked darker than usual…

"_Ice Prince_." Suzaku spurns under his breath before sucking the straw in his cup again.

Lelouch's eyebrow lifts.

Was that a challenge he just heard?

He glances at Suzaku and decides that, yes, it was a challenge.

"Say what you will Suzaku, but you know – regardless that we really _shouldn't_ be in this position – we _wouldn't_ be in this position because I _would _have worn a condom if you hadn't said you like the way it feels when I cu—"

Suzaku scrambles to cover Lelouch's mouth like the following words will destroy the world with his cheeks rusting a delightful planetary red.

"Sh-Shut up!" he stutters, glancing around to make sure no distant ears were tainted by Lelouch's incomplete statement; which is hard to discern with all the befuddled, curious stares trying to assess Suzaku's sudden burst of action. "…And what are you trying to say? That this is _my_ fault?" he asks quietly, still noticeably uncomfortable and wary as he seats himself.

"Well~"

"Oh, come on!" Suzaku indignantly objects in a hoarse whisper. "You can't be serious!"

Lelouch smiles.

"I'm just kidding. Of course this is as much my responsibility as it is yours." He mollifies, smiling charmingly at Suzaku who releases a breath and visibly relaxes back into his chair. "I'm just saying…"

"Lelouch!" Suzaku squawks again, bristling like a cat that's had its tail stepped on, and Lelouch laughs.

"Don't be so sensitive, it's just a joke."

No it isn't.

This is Suzaku's fault.

Completely.

Suzaku gives him a firm lower-lip, "I don't think this is something you should joke about Lelouch – Mister-I'm-so-_serious_-all-the-time. You really pick bad moments to be funny."

"Oh, I apologize. I didn't realize I was talking to a professional comedian who knows everything about comedy and when the appropriate time to deliver a joke would be." Lelouch's rebuttal is so dry it puts the Devil's Golf Course to shame.

And it wasn't a bad moment for humor in Lelouch's opinion; it was supposed to lighten the mood and offer a distraction like proper comic relief should.

His joke did both, so:

_Lelouch: four._

_Suzaku: zero._

Suzaku sighs, unwilling to play this game of sarcasm, and looks elsewhere—

That's when the disquieting alert of an incoming call steals Suzaku away…

•-•

Sadly, their nice day out doesn't continue as planned because the outside world always interferes – though this time _Kyushu_ can take the blame rather than Zero…

Of course Lelouch knew this matter would impede on their private matters because it is a part of Zero's matters, but Suzaku doesn't know that Lelouch and Zero are the same so he doesn't know that Lelouch knows Zero's matters or that those certain matters will interfere with their matters… or something along those lines. If nothing else, the act of committing to plans with Suzaku should testify for Lelouch's innocence regardless of whatever other _matters_ choose to do. Lelouch can't say he suspects that anyone is suspicious of him, per se, but there's no such thing as being too cautious or prepared.

Contrarily, he'd rather not think about Zero's role in Suzaku's pregnancy and vice versa, but he knows he'd better formulate something and _fast_. Right now Suzaku has not only the little fry growing inside him but Lloyd Asplund and the Lancelot to worry about – thanks to Zero and his Black Knights, _ironically_ enough – to spare a thought about Lelouch's meandering outside of school. Lelouch can keep up the gambling act with words but he knows that eventually he'll need to produce some money one way or another. Later on, though, when Suzaku is ballooned like a different type of fish and lounging around the clubhouse, he's going to wonder where Lelouch is running off to – "_As if gambling is more important than his family!"_ Lelouch can already imagine Suzaku thinking, if not grumbling.

Gambling isn't more important than his family, but fighting to protect them against a super-evolved-locust nation like Britannia is.

If only Suzaku wasn't a bumbling idiot in their swarm…

To say that Lelouch has coped with the incident on Shikinejima Island wouldn't be entirely true, and it seems that Suzaku is still carrying some weight of that day as well.

Lelouch just knows his hands are dirty with Suzaku's guilt from that debacle.

Lelouch had really underestimated Suzaku's foolishness, and in any other circumstance it might have been a harmless slipup on Lelouch's part that he could have easily recovered from, but… Trapped by his (technically, _was_-_presently_ _pregnant_) boyfriend in a cockpit that would have essentially served as _their_ casket, Lelouch knew the way out and had to take it. There were so many reasons not to do it, but the single pro that countered weighed heavier than all of the cons combined.

Life.

Lelouch did curse his luck, but, not one to believe in luck, realized that he probably doomed _himself_ somewhere along the way. Maybe it started when he denied his father, maybe it started when he befriended Suzaku, maybe he shouldn't have entered that contract with C.C., maybe he shouldn't have stood so close to Suzaku with his pistol—erm… maybe he shouldn't have counted Schneizel out – but he didn't expect the man to make his cameo just yet in order to eliminate Zero from Britannia's nuisance list, but he should have known better (and was a bit proud that _Schneizel_ was the one who needed to come in a clean the mess himself). Or maybe he should have tried harder to not be conceived in his mother's womb so that he would never have been born and suffer all this _madness_ that tried to bring him to an early grave.

There was an irony there, somewhere, that had nearly _killed_ Lelouch.

(It's bad enough that it slaps him upside the head _now_ every time he begins to wonder why he never bothered to wear a condom during sex with Suzaku – his _male_ paramour.

It almost feels as if the universe is doing all of this to him on purpose.)

Lelouch remembers how angrily he grit his teeth, his left eye burning in anticipation with the knowledge that Geass was the last card he had to play as all of his others had been swiped from his hands. If only Schneizel hadn't literally popped out of nowhere in that _flying_… _ordering_ Suzaku to…

No…as easy and _tempting_ as it is to blame Schneizel, he can only order Suzaku to do something but cannot _physically_ make him do it (unlike like Lelouch himself). Ultimately, it was Suzaku's decision to comply and that bothered Lelouch more than his _son-of-a-bitch_ brother foiling him once again.

Suzaku was just going to let it happen. As if nothing else mattered. As if that was _all_ he aspired to.

Despite everything, despite all the people who love and care about him (Nunnally, the student council, Lelouch…) and those who depend on or need him (Nunnally, Euphemia… Lelouch (Lloyd doesn't quite count)), and despite everything he'd worked for and everything that he _had_ changed, Suzaku was just going to let his story cut short in an anticlimactic end that resolved _nothing_. Lelouch had been brimming with anger and desperation when the slit in his mask flew open as he yelled at Suzaku with all of the strength of emotion he could channel through his vocal-cords, ordering the empty-headed buffoon to do the very thing he wished against—

Because if irony was going to kill Lelouch it would protect Suzaku.

Lelouch wasn't and _isn't_ going to let Suzaku get away so easily. After all, Lelouch hasn't been protecting Suzaku up until now for no reason. It just appears that now he needs to protect more than _just_ Suzaku.

Universe and all of its irony – and Schneizel – be damned.

•-•

"I order you to love me!"

The words play like a broken record in Suzaku's head in a nauseating echo that has stripped them of their syllables, the six words slurring together in a mutated sound that has no meaning. This repetition stretches like suffocating rubber around him for meager seconds that pulse in his ears like lifetimes with his heartbeat – why is it _so_ _loud_? – and he can't seem to shut his mouth or blink his eyes.

There's no way she just said that…

There's no way she just _ordered_ that!

"And in return, I will love you!"

"Princess Euphemia…" Suzaku manages. Suddenly the rain of enemy fire falling around him doesn't feel as pressing as he guides Lancelot haphazardly yet skillfully through the lacerating shots aimed to kill. The shrinking level of Lancelot's energy has also slipped under the radar of his ever-alert battle-mode, if for a moment.

"I'll love your honest face and sad eyes, your kindness, your stubbornness, your clumsiness, and even how you're awkward with cats. All of you! So, please don't hate yourself!"

Suzaku feels frozen, almost; those words piercing him like an arrow through the heart, leaving him speechless – not for a lack of words, but too many to state.

"…Suzaku? Are you alright, can you hear me?"

"Y-yes, Your Highness." Suzaku stalls, feeling hot nerves sweat through his pores. What is he to say? "I'm sorry… I've made you worry. I'm so conceited, aren't I?" Suzaku glances at her uneasily during any second he can spare from the fight against him – he's severely outnumbered here. _Before_ that might have made him feel anticipation if anything at all, but now, for once, he's apprehensive and afraid. There is too much at stake here for his atonement to intervene now…

Confusion crosses her face, "What do you mean?"

Suzaku's breath quivers past his teeth as he blindly disables enemy Knightmare after enemy Knightmare in this one-sided battle royal he's dancing through – Lancelot won't fare much longer…

"I'm sorry. You're a wonderful person with a big heart and your spontaneity is charming, but…" He rubs his lips together, glancing at her soft face now smiling at him affectionately, and swallows. He's never had to so _this_ before. "I can't…"

He sees Euphemia shake her head emphatically from his peripheral after he looks away from her.

"No, don't ever say you 'can't.' I believe in you, Suzaku."

"Princess, I…" Suzaku feels his jaw clamp tight, his palms moist inside his pilot gloves as he grips the controls with aching hands.

"Accede, Suzaku." Euphemia chimes in for him, offering the words his mouth _should_ muster. "Say you'll continue being my Knight."

"I'm tremendously flattered… but I can't follow that order."

"Suzaku…?"

Suzaku refuses to look up to her small voice.

"It's… I'm kind of already involved with someone…"

Lancelot finally dies around him, lights and sounds dimming from existence, allowing Euphemia's muteness to chill the sweat on his skin.

"…So, you have someone to live for?"

Suzaku realizes his eyes are watering – he's finally met his end and he doesn't want it, not when another life _solely_ depends on him.

_Not yet, not NOW._

"Then you don't have a choice, you have to live for them." Euphemia's intrepid tone is hollowed with despondence but it doesn't make her words any less sincere. "You have to live for _them!_"

He clenches the controls, "I'm sorry… I've"—_failed_—"run out of energy…" Something Suzaku expects should be his life flashing before his eyes is really only a stained memory of glassy eyes on the face of his father, a figurehead – a martyr? – that lies like a beached whale in a shore of crimson that burns his hands, a proud nation bullied into ruin, the smug smile of a prince – the same lips that had damned it all, vowed to destroy the destroyers—

"_No_, Suzaku! You have to _live!_" Euphemia's cry is so desperate, desolate, and _raw_ that it ices the marrow in his bones just before an abstractly familiar blackness begins to envelop him in a numb void—

When volatile, malicious beams circle him in a roaring perimeter that destroys the pack of Knightmares that had him surrounded like wolves.

For once, Suzaku is glad to have Zero make his appearance if only because it reels him from the holes in his soul and distracts him from the heart he sees breaking in his Princess's blue eyes…

•-•

As if Lelouch doesn't already have enough reason to detest Schneizel and want him eliminated in _every_ sense of the word, he has now climbed to a whole new level of hatred. Although Lelouch doesn't know for a fact that this little strategy was devised by his brother, it reeks too much of Schneizel for Lelouch to assume it was Cornelia's or any other's doing.

This is the second time Schneizel has tried to erase Suzaku – the second obviously paying for the treacherous first.

But this is also the second time the _Second_ Prince has been thwarted.

And third time will not be the charm for Schneizel because Lelouch will _not_ give him the chance.

It is this train of thought that has him steamrolling down his express route to the submarine's bay where his shuttle is waiting for him to climb in so it can deploy under the safety of the wrinkled blanket of opaque water. The terrorists that are shuffling through the corridors in their brisk uniforms might misconstrue his steps as being his typical, stout march rather than anything else – anything _emotionally_ driven – as they scatter from the path of their fearless leader like flocks of black sheep. Lelouch is more than willing to let them believe that as he sets course for home, ignoring the critical, golden eyes that have been shadowing him unnervingly since he boarded.

Of course tailing him isn't a new pastime for that witch, but this time it's strange; the way her silence breathes the air around him makes it feel as though she has something to say – and if so, why hasn't she said anything yet? If it's a private matter then why didn't she speak when they were secluded in the Gawain? He should probably be relieved that she's tailing him rather than causing trouble for any of the crew—she doesn't want to come to the surface with him, does she?

In the end, she doesn't speak and he doesn't ask – even if his mind wasn't elsewhere he still most likely wouldn't.

He just hopes that won't come back to bite him in the ass later…

•-•

"I'll be firm and resolute and won't back down. It's time to put my stubbornness to good use, even if it's a selfish request it's not really _only_ just for me—"

"What on _Earth_ are you babbling about?" Lloyd calls in a drawl, pushing his spectacles up his narrow nose.

"Ah!" Suzaku jumps, meeting Lloyd's cold gaze that's much closer than he remembers—

Well, that's because Suzaku had been walking up to the man when he had delved into his head for a mental pep-rally to motivate himself – which is practically like visiting a ghost town considering how rarely Suzaku hosts such events in his head, for _himself_ – and last he checked Lloyd was—

"Boy, what is _wrong_ with you?" Lloyd queries loudly into Suzaku's face. "Don't tell me my devicer is malfunctioning."

"_I think it's debatable whether or not he was ever 'functioning' in the first place_"—Suzaku can hear Lelouch mock in his head.

"Uh, well, nothing. But I wanted to talk to you about something…"

"Hm~?" Lloyd lifts a thin eyebrow at him. "So something _is_ wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Cécile tacks onto the conversation with a fretful ensemble on her features to match her voice.

"Um…" Suzaku starts, eyes darting between the two once Lloyd finally cranes away from his personal space.

"If it's about the Lancelot…?" Cécile trails off, her question suggesting the battle that had just transpired – the one where he not only lost of all of his energy, but the float system too…

Suzaku rubs his arm, "Ah, sort of…"

…In

Which

No

Explanation

Takes

Place…

"You _are_ going to _enlighten_ us sometime this millennium, right Suzaku?"

"What's the matter?" for once Cécile is too worried to spare her energy on reprimanding Lloyd – that's right, she had probably heard his conversation with the Princess…

Suzaku's eyes dart between them again like he's watching a tennis match, and then heaves a big sigh from his gut as if his favored side just lost the game.

"I need a hiatus from piloting the Lancelot."

There, he said it.

The ball's in their court now…

Cécile's head cocks to the side and just when she opens her mouth—

"This isn't about that _pregnancy_ _thing_ is it?" Lloyd blurts out in a tawdry tone. "Because I should think that it would only _improve_ your performance. You _would_ be fighting for two, after all – what motivation is better than that? So I think it would be a waste to stop now when—_Ouch!_" Lloyd yelps, trying to soothe the place on the back of his head that Cécile's hand collided with.

"Pardon his inhumanity," She pleads formally as her arm lowers to her side.

"Like always," Suzaku responds uneasily – she doesn't typically _physically_ abuse him, but maybe it's a long time coming…?

"_Bloody_ _Hell_, what was _that_ for?"

"Suzaku,"—Lloyd has _totally_ just been ignored—"if you need some time, I think that can be arranged, but… You know the instability of the situation here."

"I know, but I can't keep doing this, especially after today." _If not for ZERO, I would have—_"It's too irresponsible for me to continue."

She nods solemnly, "Yes, this is a quite a problem. Even so, we only go out on demand, so maybe…"

"Perhaps we could plead for a truce with Zero," Lloyd jeers mildly, still coddling his wound.

Cécile glowers at him.

"Don't give me that look. You know I don't care for much else than my Lancelot and even in a time of peace I could still borrow Suzaku from his _new_ family for tests and such, right Suzaku old boy? As long as the two of you are never parted, I think I can live a contented life – though it wouldn't be the same, of course. Maybe I can still convince you otherwise…"

"Do you want me to hit you again?"

Suzaku laughs nervously and starts making random gestures with his hands to distract harm away from Lloyd.

"Alright, we've had a long evening, so let's just sleep on it, alright? The problem will still be here in the morning, and who knows, maybe a solution will be here as well?"

"As if the real world works that way…" Lloyd ridicules as he walks away – either agreeing with Suzaku regardless of his words or trying to avoid Cécile's unnaturally lively scorn.

"You're right Suzaku; it has been a long evening. Why don't you head off and get some rest?" She glances quickly over her shoulder to Lloyd who is tapping away at the computer he'd abandoned to interrupt Suzaku's blathering. "Don't worry about Lloyd, he's like a bratty child but he knows what he can't have at the end of the day. I promise you that we can work this out somehow."

Suzaku smiles, "Thanks, but don't hurt him again, alright? I don't want to have to babysit him if you do."

Cécile's eyes gleam in a way Suzaku has never seen but the smile on her lips is still as tender as always.

"Off you go," she starts to shoo him with her hands. "Tonight has been especially stressful for you, so rest well. I'll phone you if there's anything you need to know."

Suzaku smiles affably, letting her turn him to face the open door, "Fine, fine. But don't worry if you have trouble reaching me during the week after school hours because I'll be busy with student council business. There's a festival at the end of the week and we still have a lot of things to take care of."

"A festival?"

He nods, "Yeah, it'll be an open campus, so we really have to prepare for the possible crowd surplus."

"That sounds pleasant, but don't work yourself too much Suzaku. If you feel tired then rest." She places a light, comforting hand on his back as they walk with a gentle smile on her lips for his eyes to see.

"Don't worry so much – I'm not that reckless." He tries to laugh only to have it die before it materializes into sound.

There's a faint scoff from Lloyd's direction.

Suzaku can't resist: "You know, Lloyd, since the school _will_ be accepting visitors, you should visit Milly. You're only going to be _marrying_ her."

Lloyd barely bothers to mumble a retort before Cécile sends Suzaku on his way again with another warm parting and a soft-spoken resolution to help resolve the matter of his situation. He walks through the door and into the shadowy hallway—

Finding a single person is lingering nearby, caught in the fading light stretching from the lab.

His stomach practically hits the floor, "Princess Euphemia?"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to eavesdrop! I just wanted to see how you were doing! But then I heard you talking, and…!" her voice storms Suzaku in such a rush of words that he almost doesn't notice the blush creeping to her cheeks—

Wait.

Did she just say _eavesdrop_?

All he can do is gape like a faceless portrait when she ambivalently approaches him, her hands clutching the white bell of her dress.

"I'm sorry." She peeks at him timorously. "I hope you can forgive—"

"No," his mouth utters and her eyes grow wide. "W-wait! I-I-I meant it's not a problem! You were just worried, I am grateful for that."

She nods and looks down at her fingers as they fiddle with her skirt.

"…So, you are all right, then?" her powder blue irises are on his face again, particularly his lips when he speaks.

"Oh, yes. Thank you for asking. And you, Princess? Are you all right?"

She nods, eyes swooping away from his again as if literally watching Silence enter their conversation.

This really couldn't be more awkward.

It's like bumping into an ex where things didn't quite end well—or so Suzaku imagines.

Even crickets wouldn't chirp if they were in this hallway. Perhaps it'd be better if Suzaku knew what to say…

"To be honest Suzaku, I'm surprised. I guess I thought you were more responsible than this."

"Imagine how I feel," he mutters wryly. "But, at least give me some credit. It's not like I thought this _could_ happen to me."

Her eyes shift into a critical shade, something disapproving twisting on her face.

"Surprises come in all forms, I guess." He looks down at his shoes. "I still can't really believe it, but… Well, if I _had_ known it was even _remotely_ possible for something like this to happen I would have made sure he used protection, but—"

"He?"

Suzaku looks up, "Pardon?"

"You… said '_he_.'"

Before Suzaku can question her further, he sees the dawn of realization colour her face—

"Y-you mean _you're_ the one who's…?"

Suzaku feels hot nerves wriggling in his stomach, "What do you mean, that you _didn't_ know? I thought you said you overheard—!"

That's right, even though they spoke of the subject the words "Suzaku is pregnant" were never said directly, most of their conversation pretty much stepping around them, so, _naturally_, Euphemia would just _assume_…

Strange how Suzaku can be so careless about what _he_ says as well as what was and wasn't said _about_ him yet at the same time be so careful to not mention the exiled and believed-to-be deceased prince's name.

Suzaku gawks at her with a slack jaw and a stomach shriveling under the stuffy discomfiture of the moment, trying to find a reasonable chain of words to save this situation from falling from his control as he watches her face scuff with vermilion, a nervous hand covering her mouth.

He is unlucky in his search.

_Shit…_

•-•

Lelouch is roused by the frenetic ruffling of cloth that might as well be a riot breaking out in the stark silence of the room, causing a sleepy jolt to twitch his body and open his eyes; revealing not only that he had fallen asleep at his desk – neglected schoolwork still waiting to be completed by his intelligence – but that he is no longer alone in the room. In either brief alarm or a learned instinct from napping during class, Lelouch bolts upright in his chair with a drowsy cloak hanging over his features, causing that sound of fussing fabric to instantly cease. The silence is a bit tense though still calm as Lelouch turns in his chair to find the origin of the noisemaker whilst rubbing his eyes, coming face to face to with Suzaku's apologetic expression.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

The room is still bright, well lit by the bedside lamp on Lelouch's nightstand, uncovering most of the room from the shroud of night (including Lelouch's ignored homework). Suzaku's face looks a tad rosy, his cheeks tinged like they've been brushed by cold weather, and his eyes are heavy, hard, and polished like marble.

"It's fine…" Lelouch murmurs, still trying to rid his eyes from the mask of sleep.

"I was even gonna try to carry you to bed."

Lelouch's wit isn't too lethargic to miss that.

"In that case I'm glad you woke me up," he mutters very dryly, hearing Suzaku breathe a quiet sound of appreciation for the comedic comment over the continued scuffle of clothing. He looks Suzaku over again, picking up the grim disposition of his friend as a burnt-orange military uniform is quietly disassembled from his person – strange since Suzaku had left in his civilian clothes. "You're back late."

Lelouch of course had hurried home, wanting to get back as early as possible to wait for his impregnated companion, thereafter trying – and failing – to busy himself with schoolwork. He didn't have to beat Suzaku here but he figured it would be for the best considering a night ago he'd stumbled in late and Suzaku wasn't pleased—not that Lelouch is afraid of Suzaku or his nagging, he's just covering his terrorist ass. Lelouch only wants to cause as much suspicion as he can get away with before he finds his free time inhibited by the very things he's trying to protect. It would be very bad for Suzaku's all around health to accumulate an abundant amount of stress because of Lelouch – meaning now is the worst possible time for Suzaku to be figuring out any secrets that lead to _Zero_ results.

So, just to be clear: Lelouch is not intimidated.

Lelouch doesn't _get_ intimidated.

This is all for concern – the greater good.

(It almost makes Lelouch wonder why he said "back late" instead of "_home_ late.")

"Yeah…" Suzaku nods – too gravely for Lelouch's taste – pulling the last leg out of his pants and resting them next to his jacket already sprawled out on the couch behind Lelouch's desk. He is clad in only his white, button-down shirt, green tie dangling from his neck, and his snug, gray boxers when he plops down heavily on the bed – Lelouch has to focus to draw his attention away from the informal position of Suzaku's open legs. "I was going to stay in my dorm, but…" he leans his elbows on his knees, "I don't feel like being alone tonight." It's after a halfhearted shrug that Suzaku removes his socks – his shoes are undoubtedly resting by the bedroom door.

Lelouch feels his eyebrows crease, "Long night?"

Suzaku just nods, tossing his socks on the couch where his tie soon joins them.

"Did you take care of that business with Asplund?"

Suzaku nods again.

Lelouch purses his lips.

Seems Suzaku isn't in the mood for conversation.

"Please, spare me the details," Lelouch says drolly.

Suzaku looks up at him with weary eyes, "I'm sorry Lelouch. I'm just…" his eyes drift away again as a deep sigh claims his lips.

"You are…?"

"…I'm beginning to wonder if I'm making the right decision. I feel like every one that I make turns out to be a bad one."

Not the answer Lelouch wants to hear, but not the answer that surprises him, either.

"You keep telling me that you'll support me in whatever I do, as long as I do what I feel is right… I know I fought for this, but…" Suzaku's eyes are clear and firm for the first moment since Lelouch has looked into them upon waking. "Lelouch, I want to know how you feel and what you want. You have yet to tell me anything about what's going on inside that head of yours."

Lelouch holds that gaze, that clarity shining in emerald eyes now that those walls have lowered, and then breathes in steadily through his nose.

"First of all, I think that you can't know if something is the 'right' decision when you make it. In hindsight, everything's twenty-twenty."

"But you've always seemed so sure of yourself, never worrying or stressing about your decisions." Suzaku's lips break into a sardonic smile, "Lelouch, you always have all the answers."

"That's not true."

Suzaku blinks at the sudden, solemn slump in Lelouch's tone.

"It's not true that I don't worry or stress – I stress and worry so much it's a wonder my hair hasn't turned gray yet or that I haven't had a heart-attack." Lelouch rubs his face. "I seem confident because I _am_ confident, and I like to think I have all the answers, but I know I can only control so much around me. And sometimes, Suzaku, the bigger picture is a whole lot bigger than you think it is."

"But…"

"For instance," Lelouch stands up, gesturing with his hand to Suzaku, "you being pregnant has surprised me greatly. There's no honest way that I could have known this would happen – could I have prevented it if I had known? Certainly. But there's no changing my past ignorance, I just have to forge ahead and find my way on this new path." He gently sits down next to Suzaku. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that one can only be as prepared as they are observant. If there's something beyond your knowledge of course you can't predict it, but the trick is adapting and knowing how to handle whatever the universe throws at you." He lays his hand on Suzaku's back, "Right and wrong is shrouded in gray, only farther down the road will you know if you've done the best you could."

Suzaku's eyes stare at him a moment in silence as if he's absorbing everything Lelouch has just said, then rests his head on Lelouch's shoulder, nestling close to the warm body. Lelouch rubs Suzaku's back, turning towards the boy to let him nuzzle deeper into the comfort of his form. Lelouch isn't sure if he was just trying to comfort Suzaku, if that's what Suzaku wanted – though it felt like it – and he doesn't know if Suzaku has been consoled by his words of wisdom, but the atmosphere is lighter than before. The ghostly tension feels to have dissipated from the air—

"Right, but you still haven't told me how you feel about the baby."

—And there it is again.

"…I'm sure I've answered this question before."

"No," Suzaku pushes himself up, "you haven't. All you've said is that you'd be supportive."

"Doesn't that tell you something?"

"_Lelouch_. This is _important_. It's not like we're painting the walls a different colour – this is a _baby_, _our_ _baby_ – _another_ _life_ we're talking about."

Lelouch sighs.

Feelings: not something Lelouch is exactly adept in expressing… with words, anyway – actions _do_ speak louder. But Suzaku _needs_ to be told these things, _needs_ to hear these things sometimes, otherwise they're left up to his assumptions and those prove to be incorrect quite frequently; particularly when interpreting Lelouch's feelings. Naturally, Lelouch's emotions are something that are _supposed_ to be buried, never unearthed by anyone other than himself, yet sometimes he wishes Suzaku could see them as clearly as he feels them despite the thick veneer he wears so tightly, so cautiously, so _protectively_ to keep them hidden, if _only_ so he wouldn't have say them out loud.

How _dreadfully_ ironic…

"I can't."

"_What?_" Judging by Suzaku's tone that is not an answer _he_ wants to hear.

"Rather, I _couldn't_." He leans his forehead against Suzaku's and spins his voice from his throat like he's turning it into luxury silk, "If I had to be in this situation with anyone, I'm glad it's with you – I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else, nor could I. You are the only one for me and the only mother I would want for my child." If Lelouch's voice isn't tender enough, he seals his words with a lingering kiss over Suzaku's lips and a light grasp of Suzaku's chin to tilt his head just slightly.

When their lips part with a quiet noise Suzaku's eyes look deep and clouded but there's a light shining through his mystification from somewhere in his mind like a lighthouse flashing through thick fog, and the soft smile that bends his lips relieves the room of more invisible tension.

"You always know what to say, don't you?" he says with a calm gleam over his shamrock eyes.

"That's right." Lelouch smiles back.

It helps to have a collection of romance flicks under his belt to reference, too. If they've taught him anything it's that sap is a _must_ – and their said sappy dialogue is more or less the same which enables him to apply them to whatever bitter situation that needs to be sweetened.

…_Not_ that he was _trying_ to learn anything or that he _willingly_ subjected himself to them.

Nunnally is found of them, is all!

"You smooth talking demon…" Suzaku murmurs, moving his sassy smile centimeters from Lelouch's lips. "What have you done with Lelouch?"

Instead of lifting an eyebrow like his first impulse tells him to, his lips steal Suzaku's words to stretch into a hellish crescent like a wicked horn.

"Didn't you know?"—an evanescent, funereal breath against Suzaku's lips, a fingertip pointing his chin upward—"I _am_ a demon."

Suzaku's saucy lips shrivel into a puckering cushion for the bedeviling kiss Lelouch places against them with a fervor burning in his lips.

Actions always taste better than words.

Lelouch doesn't mean for the exchange to be long despite his force as he's still quite tired, not to mention he has a case of cotton-mouth due to his napping. He just wants to end the moment with a nice press of lips, maybe a sweep of tongues, and then conclude the night by flopping down on his bed and getting some – _hopefully_ – undisturbed beauty sleep.

Seems Suzaku has other ideas.

His mouth is open and his voice is leaking out alluring sounds that are deceptively soft as his hands reach to trap Lelouch's head when it tries to drift away with strong fingers cutting through stalks of black licorice hair. Lelouch's finger is still pointed against Suzaku's chin, and after a moment of consideration – that perhaps a little make-out session before bed wouldn't hurt – it skims up Suzaku's jaw where a hand cups Suzaku's face, fingers fussing the curled brush of russet hair located there. It is this intrigue that pulls Lelouch down with Suzaku's hands, nestling him in the limbs of his staunch mate like a nest in a tree. Suzaku's arms are as warm and sturdy around his shoulders as Lelouch remembers – as they were last night – but there's something peculiar teeming in their embrace that's spreading all through Suzaku's body in an odd language Lelouch knows he recognizes but can't quite place. Something about Suzaku's body just feels off from the way his knees pin Lelouch's waist against his hips to how unusually persuasive his tongue is behaving as it anxiously slithers around.

Even so, it's not entirely unpleasant, whatever this feeling Suzaku is clinging to him with. It almost makes Lelouch feel… important – and that's certainly destined to get Lelouch going one way or another. He quite likes the buzz of significance fizzing up in the thriving heat crawling from his loins – a sensation that, incidentally, his pants cannot appreciate – as he swivels his head to the side in a kiss growing sloppier with hasty lust. Lelouch can't speak for Suzaku's rushing (…literally) but the flaring warning of oxygen depletion is something that has Lelouch griping the excess of shirt on Suzaku's sides in mercy. One of Suzaku's hands is still pillaging the locks of Lelouch's hair when he moves his head again, the burning in his chest far more unpleasant than a little constriction of his pants, but with an uncivilized grunt Lelouch is able to scare that rough hand away and break for air.

Pink is rolled across Suzaku's cheeks and desire is steaming his eyes when Lelouch looks down at him panting and flushed with a wild thicket of hair thanks to Suzaku's ardent groping.

"Sorry…" Suzaku says quietly – _why isn't he out of breath too?_ – and caresses Lelouch's cheeks with his fingertips – _and is that pity?_ – while holding firmly to Lelouch's arm with his other hand.

Lelouch furrows mildly irritated eyebrows and lies, "It's fine."

_What's with him…?_

Lelouch leans down again, his hair being swept away from his face by Suzaku's hands as he descends and grazes his lips over Suzaku's before kissing _beside_ that athirst mouth instead. A nasally noise of yearning is cast out from Suzaku's impatience as Lelouch nips away towards his neck, hands tugging on the loose-knit, cotton sweater decorating Lelouch's torso. Lelouch smirks at the sound and bites harder on the spot he had stained with his teeth last night as he shifts his hips over Suzaku's—

Lelouch isn't sure why he's surprised, it's not like this outcome is unexpected or unwelcome, but…

—Lelouch is looking down at Suzaku again – more specifically: at his raging erection that sprang up like a timber jack-in-the-box.

…they have just started!

Suzaku's face and expression have ripened to a bashful red when Lelouch's amazed eyes stumble up to his again.

"I-I'm sorry!"

"What are you apologizing for?" Lelouch barely suppresses a laugh and Suzaku's mouth presses into a tight line. "It is a little surprising to see you so _excited_ this quickly, but…" Lelouch holds his impish stare over Suzaku's face, his black hair a tattered curtain around their faces, "I'm no less satisfied." He nudges their hips together again getting a sharp grimace form Suzaku. "In fact, I'm rather pleased. So there's no need to apologize." Lelouch brushes his soft smirk over Suzaku's lips, kissing them fully again when Suzaku opens his mouth like a baby bird demanding to be fed.

Lelouch combs the fingers of his left hand through chocolate waves, leaning on his left elbow and lifting his hips as his right hand descends between their bodies in search of a button and zipper. He fumbles slightly, trying to unfasten his pants quickly as the _feeling_ and the _sight_ of Suzaku's bold erection shoots something through Lelouch's body, zapping the tip of his stirring flesh that _cannot_ wait to cut loose and greet Suzaku. It pushes from Lelouch's fly with a giddy jerk, the relief his cramped cock feels as it is released from fitted, charcoal slacks leaks from Lelouch's mouth in a light sound, one that Suzaku mimics when their crotches are pressed together.

"…Looks like you're just as _excited_ as I am," Suzaku murmurs cheekily when they part for air again.

"_Only_ because I willed myself to be," he defends indignantly, pushing up on his elbow for better leverage.

Of course, that is a lie.

But he can't let Suzaku think otherwise.

Lelouch doesn't even give him the chance to speak. He starts grinding down roughly on Suzaku's hips and smothers the off-guard outbursts of pleasure Suzaku makes with a harsh kiss. Suzaku clutches at Lelouch's back as his muffled moans are absorbed by Lelouch's tongue, carelessly stretching the back of Lelouch's sweater, much to Lelouch's dismay – it's flattering that Suzaku is mangling his clothing out of gripping pleasure, really, but at this rate he's going to stretch it out! It's with a bite on a plumping lip and coarser thrusts over Suzaku that Lelouch tries to get the brunet's attention to _stop_ _ruining_ _his_ _sweater_, but what he gets in response surprises him somewhat:

"Lelouch," Suzaku gasps, a solid longing in his voice. "I want to feel your skin…"—a distressed tug—"_Off_…"

Lelouch pauses to look down at Suzaku, into his lustily laden, forest depths, at the desperate plea breathing around his words.

He smirks.

_Need my Highness that badly?_

With some trained effort, Lelouch hauls the layers of his ebony sweater and the sharply collared, vibrant fuchsia dress-shirt underneath off, more than happy to deposit them in the safety of the couch next to Suzaku's uniform, far from Suzaku's reach. There's a smug tilt of his head and crook of his lips when Suzaku sits up to follow his wandering hands as they caress the bare silk of ecru skin concealing Lelouch's pronounced bones. He circles his fingers around Suzaku's wrists as sweaty palms begin to grease over his chest, causing Suzaku's big, misty eyes to look up at him.

"Likewise," Lelouch says, his voice wrapped in a soft husk and his smile sharp just before he presses his lips against Suzaku's.

In an instant, Suzaku's shirt is pushed up, he is pushed down, and Lelouch is comfortably grinding their clothed erections together again as he pecks his lips to one of Suzaku's brittle nipples. The corners of Lelouch's mouth lift in a prideful grin when it appears to bristle even more at his attention and he lets his tongue peek past his lofty lips to titillatingly flick the lusty nub. Suzaku gasps at that with a twitch of his chest, a breathier moan fleeing his mouth when Lelouch liberally slathers the wet tip around the pointed patch of skin before closing it in his mouth. He sucks on it gently and toughly as he whirls his slimy organ around the excited bump, rubbing and stroking with his tongue as he continues to grind his solid length over Suzaku's rocking hips. Suzaku's chest practically rolls as Lelouch laps at his sensitive breast, his hands ranking through Lelouch's hair – though more tamely with his attention partly consumed by Lelouch's ravenous mouth and the sensations mounting his body as Lelouch humps his crotch. He merely wriggles and gasps when Lelouch's tongue slides across his heaving chest where he nibbles and suckles at the other budding nipple, maintaining the vivaciously vigorous lunges of his hips—

"_Put it in!_"

Lelouch halts.

He doesn't quite try to restrain his shock but he doesn't quite openly display it to Suzaku, either.

Suzaku is looking up at him with glazed, hooded eyes and a beautiful blush splashed over his face – an expression that virtually says "take me now!" in Lelouch's opinion.

Suzaku almost sounds defensive when he answers Lelouch's gape with a light voice wavering from his throat, but it mostly sounds suffocated in desperation…

Or something similar.

"I want you, Lelouch… I want to feel you… inside…"

Lelouch swallows, absent to the saliva smeared around his mouth from its previous engagement.

Such embarrassing things Suzaku is saying.

Who _actually_ says stuff like that in real life?

Suzaku, apparently.

"Are you sure? We don't have to…"

Suzaku nods with a hand struggling to quickly pull off his soiled, gray shorts from his hips under Lelouch's weight.

"It's not so much I want than I _need_," he says, dropping his underwear on the floor after Lelouch adjusted his body to give him space.

So Suzaku really does need Lelouch's _Highness_ that badly after all…

"Is that so…?" Lelouch grins devilishly down at Suzaku, lying against him again.

Suzaku inclines his chin to touch his lips against Lelouch's as they sink closer, and closer, and closer, and _closer_—

"In that case," Lelouch sits up with a smirk at Suzaku's denied-a-kiss expression, reaching for the drawer to his bedside table, "I'm glad I bought these today."

Suzaku's eyes plummet as a long strip of condoms unfold from Lelouch's fingers.

"…Why so many?"

"_Need_ you ask?" Lelouch says through his same grin, plucking one square free and tossing the rest in the table drawer.

Suzaku sighs at him playfully only to cringe moments later when the chilly sticks of Lelouch's lubricated fingers begin to paint around his entrance, but he still pulls his knees back to give Lelouch easier access as he gingerly slips them inside for preparation. He strokes Suzaku's passage carefully, gently, as he stares down at Suzaku's pursed face – it's been some time since they've been together _this_ way. The night of Suzaku's congratulatory party for becoming Euphemia's knight was the last time and Lelouch was perhaps a tad too forceful to take Suzaku (to childishly remind him who he _really_ belongs to) and it had seemed that Suzaku was fully aware of that symbolism…

Suzaku's mouth flies open in a wheezy noise that sounds like a suffocated moan as Lelouch enters him to the hilt in a smooth motion; Suzaku's body steeling and his eyes squinting so intensely his emerald gems are reduced to slivers. Suzaku's tense legs are linked tightly at their ankles around Lelouch as he leans forward, hovering above Suzaku's creased face as it begins to pant like that will relieve the pressure filling his body. Suzaku's narrow channel _feels_ to be constricting in the delight of being filled much like it had in the shower last night, but Lelouch is focused a little more on the difference the condom makes – it's still good, just… different. Lelouch has heard the rumors about condoms but wasn't sure how exaggerated they all were. It's true that he's less sensitive to the rapture inside Suzaku's body, but he can't say it's terrible and it's certainly a small price to pay for staying _protected_ – if anything, less sensitivity should help Lelouch last longer anyway.

"You can… you can move," Suzaku says quietly in a faintly frantic push of air, his eyes still a glossy pair of evergreen spindles.

For a transitory moment Lelouch feels his joints solidify in some empathetic hesitation from the look in Suzaku's eyes. He leans on his elbow and combs his hand through Suzaku's hair just as he had previously, only instead of reaching for his zipper with his other hand, he touches his lips to Suzaku's in the softest, most loving kiss he can muster. Suzaku folds his hands over Lelouch's shoulders as he returns the kiss with equal endearment, trapping his own cry inside Lelouch's mouth when the older lad throws his hips in the first shallow thrust. Suzaku's passage closes around Lelouch like a caving tunnel when he moves again in a deeper drill with legs wringing the thin waist in their grip and short fingernails scoring red frowns into Lelouch's skin. He tells himself he is immune to the sting of Suzaku's nails as he moves faster still into the contracting heat trying to pull him in deeper the faster he drives, breathing in the hot air of Suzaku's stifled sounds that have never sounded so anxious to be as loud as they can be.

Lelouch has never been much of a moaner or a noisemaker himself, but it's always exhilarating to hear Suzaku – particularly when he's trying to keep quiet. Lelouch knows he's doing his absolute best when Suzaku's teeth are threatening to chew through his lips or hands in order to keep his voice down, much like it he's doing right now. Lelouch offers Suzaku a groan here and there along with the occasional grunt (that's far more occasional than he'd like) just so Suzaku hears his gratification and can get the same excited feeling from hearing him, but he still prefers to hear Suzaku more than he likes to vocally project his enjoyment—

SN_I~_FF!

Speaking of sounds.

Lelouch takes a closer look into Suzaku's eyes after hearing the sniffle, seeing a thick glaze swimming over his green irises.

That's strange… is Suzaku tearing up?

Maybe this is hurting him? Did Lelouch not use enough lubricant? Should he stop—?

Suzaku's arms lasso around Lelouch's neck, wrangling him down for a crushing kiss that harbors a sea of rolling emotions Lelouch was not prepared to feel surge from Suzaku.

"_Lelouch_…" Suzaku chokes, holding the vigilante close in the ropes of his arms, their faces so close Lelouch's hair sweeps against the damp rouge on Suzaku's face. Suzaku's limbs encircle Lelouch in an embrace that's so secure yet insecure at the same time; it's almost as if…

Ah, so that's what this is.

Suzaku's seeking more than to just quench his horny hunger and lose himself in physical comfort. This is…

"…I love you, Lelouch. _So much_."

…an honest-to-God consummation.

_It couldn't be about his mission today, could it…?_

It is this moment of concentrated, living passion encompassing them that helps Lelouch to understand a little of what and how parents-to-be might feel about their offspring, why they treasure those little creations with their all – because those little creations are the very _tangible_, _personified_ form of their love. It's so romantically maudlin Lelouch thinks it might cause something to burst—

…_!_

That something has apparently been decided by his libido.

_Lousy stamina_.

They haven't even been at it that long!

"_Suzaku,_" Lelouch grunts – a warning of the flashflood soon to come.

…Ahem.

"W…wait…!" Suzaku grasps Lelouch's shoulder. "Just… a little longer…!"

"Hurry up!" Lelouch commands as he tries to slow the rapid pace of his thrusting hips and conversely swiftly jerks Suzaku's erection in order to win the race against himself.

…Hold on.

Did Lelouch just demand that Suzaku's orgasm _catch_ _up_ to his own?

How… pathetic.

Even with the condom decreasing his sensitivity, he really is no match for Suzaku's sexy cheetah body.

Ivory soaks over the knuckles of Lelouch's hand grappling to the bar of his bed rail as he rocks his hips into Suzaku's backside, feeling Suzaku's body convulse around his covered flesh when it drives over the internal _pill_ of ecstasy. Suzaku moves with Lelouch's thrusts, his legs anchored around Lelouch's waist and choking tighter with each hit to his prostate, and his teeth clamped down so hard on his lips Lelouch almost expects to see them pierce right through. But even with his mouth locked up to stay quiet, his attempt at quietness doesn't keep his pleasure from escaping through his nose in little mewls that gain weight with every deep lunge into his body, their pitch increasing the more he tries to silence them.

Lelouch can taste the tide of air that bursts out of Suzaku's mouth in a cry he couldn't quite contain as if it were squeezed from his lungs from the same stress that squeezes the water from his eyes. A clothed arm is quick to bridge over those leaking greens, prompting Lelouch to take his hand off the bar and close his fingers around the clenching fist of that same arm to tenderly coax it open. He entwines their fingers together when that palm unrolls and they clasp tightly after Lelouch pushes the arm above Suzaku's head, away from his face, kissing him deeply until the wells of his eyes dry up. Lelouch can't stop from feeling that holding hands during sex is really cheesy, but it does the job of consoling Suzaku just before Lelouch barrels through his limit and over his peak with Suzaku's body still a racing rhythm to follow suit. Lelouch continues thrusting as he rides down his slope in an effort to speed Suzaku along, sliding his hand diligently around Suzaku's slick, heated shaft.

It all instantly falls apart when Suzaku's orgasm snaps his taut muscles and wets their chests, leaving their bodies to turn to goo as it turns their heads to weightless balloons, and for a very long stretch of senseless time there's just:

B

L

I

S

S

.

.

.

That is, of course, until Suzaku has to go and ruin it with his _talking_.

"You outdid yourself Lelouch," Suzaku mocks with an even breath. "_Two_ minutes this time."

"_Two_ minutes in heaven is better than _one_ minute in heaven," Lelouch says with a puff, smirking when he lifts his head from Suzaku's shoulder to see his rolling eyes – that's right, no one can argue with this logic.

"I think you're just lucky I'm _fast_ enough to keep up with you."

"Well, if it's a race then I think I've finally found one that I can win against you, but you should feel proud that you can at least keep up." Lelouch plops his head back down. "I'm glad you can put that speediness of yours to good use."

"Strange way to twist the situation just to make yourself feel better."

"It's all about adapting, my little cheetah," Lelouch prattles pleasantly.

"_Cheetah_?"

"Mm. Now be quiet, you're ruining my buzz."

Suzaku shifts under his weight, "As much as I like lying here with you like this, I don't think you should be pressing on my stomach."

Lelouch flinches, lifting off of Suzaku's body, "Right…" rolling over to lie on his back next to the brunet with a flop. His chest bobs like rocky waves rolling over the ocean as he feels himself melt into the mattress cradling his exhausted body. He glances at Suzaku, feeling irritation gnaw on his pride at the sight of the calmer waters his seahorse's chest is sailing on, but the feeling dissolves as his eyes pour over the rest of Suzaku's body…

Lelouch follows the sheen of sweat lying over Suzaku's torso below the muddled wall of fabric still hitched up his chest just above his duskier nipples. They are beginning to harden again under the film of perspiration that makes the skin over Suzaku's softly toned abdomen glisten as he pants tamely for air; getting thicker the closer it gets to his bare crotch. His thighs are still spread open and slick from traces of sweat and lotion smearing from his behind and the coating on his flaccid length is drying along with his release spattered on his chest. His hairline is moist and his face is still glowing pink like most of his skin… Lelouch feels it's all probably enough to get him a little hard again.

He peels the condom off at the thought – he's too worn-out to be tempted – and tucks himself back into his clothes, discarding the contraceptive in the trash bin he had placed between his bed and nightstand just for this purpose. After cleaning them both off with the tissues he keeps in his drawer, he grabs the limp arm lying on the other side of Suzaku's body and pulls.

Several times.

But Suzaku is a _lot_ heavier than he looks!

Suzaku looks at him with a tired eye, "What are you doing?"

Lelouch can't help the defeated pout that sours his expression "…Trying to pull you closer to me."

Suzaku looks the situation over, analyzing the _weak_ tugs of Lelouch's _weak_ arm, and then grins widely.

Lelouch scoffs when Suzaku turns onto his side for his feeble friend and cuddles close to Lelouch's chest after straightening his shirt so that it falls over his hips and covers his nether regions (yeah, Lelouch could have pulled him closer if Suzaku had just let him… and why didn't he just take the shirt _off_?). But Lelouch welcomes Suzaku's snuggling regardless with a quiet sigh of content, both of which lead the peaceful thoughts of his imaginary world of solitude. It begins to build up around his mind, shutting out the stresses and such from his daily life—

Suzaku's fingers doodle over Lelouch's collarbone, "…Um, hypothetically speaking—"

What was that? Did Lelouch just hear a crack splinter the foundation of his solace?

"—what if someone found out I am, ah, _with_ _child_?"

Lelouch props himself up on an elbow and hones his eyes onto Suzaku, locked like missiles on a target.

"Who knows?" he demands sternly.

"Uh…" Suzaku hesitates briefly. "Well, you know just, I didn't go out of my way, I mean, it's not like… It's no one that—"

"_Who did you tell?_" Lelouch snaps.

Suzaku visibly gulps, "Princess Euphemia?"

There's a sudden rush of something cold in Lelouch's body that boils up through his skin – his thoughts racing in a blur from his mother and her soft, blue eyes, to Nunnally and her smile, to Zero, to his father and his callous, _violet_ eyes.

"_Why_ would you tell her?"

"Well…" Suzaku fidgets. "It's not like I meant to! She overheard my conversation with Lloyd. What was I supposed to do? Deny it? Lie?"

_Yes._

Suzaku could have at least put one of his _many_ theories to use on Euphemia – if there was ever a time for a genetically-mutated-virus-infected-hermaphrodite-impregnated-by-an-alien-seahorse story, it would have been then.

Who knows, she might have bought it.

"Did you tell her who the father is?"

Suzaku shakes his head and Lelouch releases his panicked breath as he grasps his forehead, combing his fingers through his hair.

"I'm sorry, Lelouch."

"No, it's… don't worry about it. I know she can be trusted with a secret and as long as she doesn't know it's me, we'll be just fine." Lelouch removes his hand, locks of raven fluttering back over his face. "What was her reaction, her response?"

"She was so shocked she was speechless…"

"…Yes, I suppose anyone would be," Lelouch says quietly, trying to relax into his mattress like he had in the bathtub last night.

"I'm sorry." Suzaku's voice is so small, so familiar with those two words, that he might as well have said nothing at all.

It's as though apologizing is the only thing Suzaku knows how to do.

It's so damn _infuriating_.

"I _said_ don't worry about it," Lelouch reminds tersely, his eyes closing as an annoyed scowl shades his face.

He feels Suzaku physically cringe like a frail sprig ambushed by Winter's icy breath, but still remains near the shelter of Lelouch's body. The bantering words Suzaku had spoken to him yesterday and today replay in Lelouch's ears, lifting the dark drape over his eyes to show him the meek language of Suzaku's body as it lies silent and still next to him with crestfallen eyes. The view makes Lelouch feel like his stomach is trying to eat his heart and it folds his brow together with pensive creases.

_Ice Prince indeed…_

Lelouch slides his arm around Suzaku with his fingertips delicately skating up his spine over the ghost-white shirt he's hiding in, cradling Suzaku in an embrace that he hopes will warm them both. Suzaku's head ducks a little under Lelouch's chin, closer towards Lelouch's chest as the fingers tunneling through his earthy mane reel him in with a tender kiss pressed against his forehead; Lelouch inhaling Suzaku's scent as he buries his nose in Suzaku's hair.

"Don't worry," Lelouch murmurs in his silky-spun voice again. "We'll figure this out, together. I promise."

The moist petals of warm breaths patting the skin of Lelouch's chest are accompanied by the light touch of Suzaku's fingertips as he roots himself deeper into Lelouch's hold in reply. Lelouch of course pets Suzaku's hair in return, letting the fickle mood of the night quietly fade into the background so that all that remains is just the two of them, on this bed, and nothing else. Lelouch feels lighter on the breeze of this state of mind as he reaches to switch his lamp off, feeling Suzaku loosely entangle their legs with his breathing quickly steadying to the slow pattern of slumber. When they are swathed in the ink of night he nuzzles his face into Suzaku's hair once he is settled in bed again, waiting for sleep to overpower his mind and its thoughts.

So Euphemia knows Suzaku is pregnant, what's the worst that could happen?

* * *

How terrible am I for doing _that_ in front of Nunnally? Better yet, what about poor Sayoko? I'm sure _that_ is not in her job description. Still, this chapter got a little serious, didn't it? I hope everyone is ok with that. Not everything can be fun and games, especially when it comes to Lelouch and his devious plans – not even me or my crack can get in his way! But I hope the smut was worth the wait… and if those scenes seemed rushed, that's because they're kinda supposed to be… kinda. And no, I don't know why Suzaku is crying in every chapter… it's just his own fault.

_This chapter is sponsored by the following notes_:

1- Pregnancy for Dummies is a real book.

2- Devil's Golf Course is located in Death Valley (in western United States (south-eastern California)) where the temperature is so _impossibly_ high that it turns water to salt in mere _seconds_. This probably seems like a random reference, but it has the word "devil" in it, so… yeah.

3- I borrowed that "two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven" bit from the song _Business Time_ by _Flight of the Conchords_ – hilarious duo that you should check out if you love New Zealanders or love to laugh, or both. They are brilliant. If nothing else you should at least listen to that song.

Thanks again for the support, you guys. I can't tell you _how_ _much_ it means to me! And sorry again this was so overdue! *bows* I hope it was enjoyable enough to overlook that! (And if you saw _any_ mistakes, please do tell me!)


	4. In Which Denial Gets Denied…

All I can really do at this point is beg for your forgiveness about how _inexcusably_ late this is. I think _Super Smash Brothers_ says it best: FAILURE!

I had trouble with scene configuration between this chapter and the next one (believe it or not, I _do_ actually have a plan), so I was trying to sort them instead of just _writing them down_ and figuring it out later (so I hope this reads better than _I_ think it does). That, plus a _severe_ lack of motivation and various laptop troubles contributed to the absurd tardiness of this chapter. Getting wrapped up in animes and video games (curse you, Silent Hill!) as a result didn't help, either. I did and _still do_ feel extremely guilty about leaving everyone hanging for practically _HALF A YEAR_, but I've made a New Year's resolution to be more prompt with my updates! I'm not one to make New Year resolutions lightly (…or at all), so I mean business!

But enough of my excuses and complaints, you guys have waited long enough, so please enjoy!

* * *

_"Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it." –Rollo_ from_ Juno._

•-•-•-4

Ambiguous

In Which Denial Gets Denied and the Seahorse Syndrome Prevails

An unfriendly limp began Suzaku's Monday.

When the auspicious arrival of Nunnally's wheelchair was within Suzaku's grasp he mentally patted himself on the back for offering to walk her to class today, but his self-praise was almost immediately erased once he realized how selfish a thought that was. No matter how well Nunnally's handicap serves as a crude cane for the obvious hitch in his step, that isn't something he should be happy about or enjoy. The fact that Nunnally is oblivious makes him feel worse as her chipper comments about the weather coast through the humid morning air – almost unheard by his ears as he concentrates on walking more smoothly with his waddle.

Suzaku can't nor does he intend to pass the blame for this internal inflammation onto Lelouch since _daddy_ was just complying with the horny wishes of a moody _mommy_ after offering to keep their bumping uglies to strictly _bumping_… Suzaku can really only blame his soreness on his own selfishness and perhaps the gaps of time they spend apart that help his body to stay resilient against their lovemaking.

What he _can_ honestly resent that smug prince for is luring him into another round of _midnight_ _recess_ last night all because he went out (of his way) to buy this supposedly _special_ brand of prophylactics that made a very tempting promise. Suzaku wasn't going to reward the unnecessary amount of time Lelouch spent researching the subject – _instead_ of doing his schoolwork! – just because he wasn't happy with the condoms he bought in haste, but he did. Lelouch just seemed so enthusiastic to try them after devoting so much of his time to these _thin skins_, and he's never been one to get excited about things very often, so Suzaku couldn't really say no – and Lelouch _knew_ that, _the_ _crafty bastard_.

Suffice to say, much to Lelouch's satisfaction, they've found their brand.

(For now, at least.)

Although, to be fair, it was _much_ to Suzaku's satisfaction, too—but that _isn't_ the problem!

Sex two nights in a row might be something that makes _Lelouch_ feel proud of himself but all it makes Suzaku feel is a painful regret in his backside.

"Suzaku," Nunnally addresses with a touch of her hand over his accompanied by her voice, which surprises him despite how they're both as soft as the slight breeze shuffling alongside students through Ashford's campus.

The fizzling heat of remembered lust lashes Suzaku's face into a flourishing flush of embarrassment once he realizes that his thoughts were treading indecent lands while in the presence of Princess _Purity_ herself. He tries to push something out of his mouth, but her instincts are too quick for his reflexes.

"You're not listening, are you?" Nunnally states as more of a fact than a downtrodden accusation at being ignored.

Knowing that he's just been cornered by the truth, a guilt-ridden sigh flops from his lips – free of charge.

"I'm sorry, Nunnally, I'm just really tired. …I didn't sleep very well this weekend," he tacks on sheepishly at the end, feeling dirty for the implication he sends right over her head.

She nods gently in understanding as they roll smoothly yet slowly through the polite openings of fellow students.

"I suppose you would be if you spent a good portion of it… _bonding_ with my brother."

Only a few steps after Nunnally's cool utterance does Suzaku's body harden with the guilty, embarrassed flurry of nerves that gush from his stomach like a geyser when his brain realizes what she actually just _uttered_.

It's sheer physics that keep Suzaku's head from exploding right on the spot.

However, he still feels like a robot malfunctioning from a logical paradox – because Princess Purity doesn't make impure quips!

"Y-you mean you _heard_ us last night?" somewhere in the short circuiting of Suzaku's mind he manages to find his voice, it's just a shame that he can't find _better_ words to say.

"No…"—Nunnally pauses in an undeniable moment of realization about what was happening _last night_. Her silent recognition clogs the fizzy burst of nerves in Suzaku's stomach like a cork and an angry Lelouch starts to flicker hotly behind his eyes because of it—"Actually, I was talking about _Saturday_ night…"

"…Oh," is all Suzaku manages to say in an oddly robotic voice that can't _quite_ recognize the heavy dread sinking into his gut like he's been given a vague warning about something catastrophic – perhaps he's sensing the end of his life once his princely other half finds out about his slip of tongue—

Because God knows he _will_.

—And here it is; a tiny heart-attack that's too small and happens too quickly for Suzaku to be sure if it _really_ even happens.

"Oh, man, this is really awkward…" Suzaku says in an obvious struggle, an onslaught of Lelouch's dour disapproval thrashing cantankerously inside his skull. "I'm _so_ sorry."

"You don't have to apologize."

"How could I not? You heard me and… we…" he falls ignorant to everything around him, slapping a hand to his forehead as if to stave off Lelouch's inevitable wrath. "_Oh man_."

"Suzaku, really, it's fine," Nunnally insists with another light touch of her hand, sensing the attention of her fellow classmates on them growing. "There's no need to dwell on it. I've already known about the two of you for a while, and it's only been the few times I couldn't sleep that I've heard you."

Nunnally means well, but her words aren't comforting in the _least_.

If anything, he'd be better off not knowing that much.

"Please don't become upset," Nunnally presses. "You didn't do anything wrong."

That's not what Lelouch will think.

"Maybe not… But I am sorry you weren't told. You shouldn't find out, uh, _that_ way." Suzaku scrounges the words from his brain lamely – trying to imagine just _what kind of noises_ she must have heard – and begins to cautiously push Nunnally once again through the thick of the crowd.

She is silent at that for a moment, her hands having folded together back in her lap, and it makes Suzaku more on edge – like maybe he said something _wrong_.

"Listen," Nunnally starts in a mild-mannered, lecturing tone that resonates much too closely to the boy who raised her, "I know my brother well, probably better than he thinks I do. I know he has his reasons for the secrets he keeps and the way he treats me. For example; he might think I'd feel left out or neglected if I knew the two of you were closer than just friends. He would have told me, I'm positive of that, just when he was ready. That's why I think you and I should just keep this our little secret, so Lelouch doesn't feel like he's lost some control."

Suzaku is stunned silent – not just by her maturity but her willingness for secrecy in order to protect that frightened little boy inside Lelouch that he tries his best to hide.

"Sure," he says to her with an uneasy grin – like there's a chance in Hell _he'd_ be the one to tell Lelouch that Nunnally, his precious and unsoiled little sister, has heard them having sex, _more than_ _once_. He just makes the mental note to police the volume of their love-fest soundtrack in the future – if he can even muster up the nerves to fool around in that room _ever_ again – and hope Lelouch won't notice to the point of suspicion. "You know, saying something like that makes you sound just like Lelouch."

She giggles very softly through her nose, "Like brother, like sister?"

Suzaku smiles; the slight undertones of mischievousness in her voice eroding away some of the horrified tension rusting his body and the tirade of a feuding Lelouch in his mind.

"Can I ask you something, then?"

"Anything," Nunnally answers as they close the distance to her first period classroom.

"You don't feel neglected or anything, do you?"

There's the slightest of a pause on her end but Suzaku still notices it before she places her nimble fingertips on his rough knuckles with a smile aiming at him over her shoulder.

"Not at all. I'm happy for both of you. It's good that he has someone other than me that he can feel safe and be comfortable around – same for you. Anyway, it's not like I've lost my big brother, you know!" She playfully notes as if to ease the moment and Suzaku's mind completely of any awkward stress.

And she's right; she hasn't lost Lelouch and she never will.

Nunnally will always be in that reserved section of Lelouch's heart _no matter what_.

Suzaku laughs softly in his chest in agreement before a blonde girl he's met briefly before pops up and steals most of Nunnally's attention. It's a nostalgic feeling and somewhat surprising to watch Nunnally socialize with this other girl, Alice, so familiarly and happily; somehow reminding him of his beginning with Lelouch during those short, hot summer months…

Yet it seems _many_ things are reminding him of Lelouch these days.

After a friendly farewell, assuring Nunnally is left in the good hands of her dear friend, Suzaku sets off for his own class, trying to compile a convincing explanation (other than the truth) for the miserable stagger in his step.

•-•

Lelouch always sleeps like a baby after sex. (Which he realizes is somehow _ironic_…) Unfortunately, that doesn't always mean he sleeps for very long. Stress is quick to recover in Lelouch's mind and it's far superior to any form of post-sex dormancy. His nights are often bumpy, this past weekend being no exception. So today the rooftop was calling him with its secluded silence and brisk breezes, and even though Suzaku's nagging about not skipping class was a little louder it was much easier to ignore—

Until it personifies into the pair of fingers that are pinching his nose closed, causing him to snort and choke awake like a cat hacking up a hairball.

Since when did Suzaku employ himself to be Lelouch's personal alarm clock?

"Don't give me that look," Suzaku says with an irritated grin to Lelouch's lion-like leer. "You weren't supposed to skip today, but seeing how I'm just _so nice_ I decided to let you because you seemed so tired this morning."

"Then _why_ are you disturbing my hibernation from school?" Lelouch grouses, sitting upright from the ground while rubbing his eyes.

"Aw~," Suzaku croons insincerely with hands on his hips, "Is poor _papa_ bear still tired? Tell me it wasn't due to visiting _heaven_ two nights in a row."

"If you want _papa bear_ to take you on _more_ _trips_ in the future you'll watch your tone," Lelouch deadpans. "Now tell me why _mama_ bear is bothering me."

Suzaku releases a jaded sigh as he sits down next to Lelouch, "I just thought it would be better for me to wake you rather than, say, Milly."

Lelouch cringes for a lot more credit than he'd like to give that blue-eyed devil.

"Don't say _that_ name here, Suzaku. The roof is a _happy_ place."

Suzaku laughs and lightly bumps Lelouch's shoulder with his own.

"Come on. I let you sleep through the entire school day, even lunch. Going to the Student Council meeting is the least you can do."

False.

The least Lelouch can do is go _back_ to sleep.

"No, thanks. I don't feel like going today." Lelouch easily declines as he moves to lie down on his side. "Hearing the President's name has given me cold feet."

"Lelouch~" Suzaku wines, tugging Lelouch's arm to keep him from falling into dreamland again. "Can't you go for _me_?"

Lelouch looks at the innate big-eyed, puppy-look Suzaku seems to possess that just oozes with a victimizing-inducing pheromone and does what any person who has a heart would do:

"No."

Erm, let it be known that Lelouch _has_ a heart.

He just doesn't always use it…

"_Lelouch!_" Suzaku yanks on the boy's noodle-arm with his nostrils flaring.

Lelouch smiles almost crookedly, seeing a grand opportunity and grabbing it without mercy.

"I'll go for a kiss."

Now Suzaku deadpans.

"Why should I kiss you? I already told you that I let you skip today, didn't I?"

"So? I didn't ask you to,"—like Lelouch _needs_ Suzaku's permission, anyway—"but I _am_ asking you for this…" Lelouch leans closer to Suzaku's lips, keenly aware of how dehydrated and stale sleep has made his mouth.

A small, unbecoming sigh seeps from Suzaku's equally dry, but no less tempting, lips.

"You promise you'll go? If I kiss you?"

"Promise."

Another _incredibly enticing_ breath of reluctance leaves Suzaku's mouth and he concedes with an _extremely_ _attractive_ voice of indifference.

Suzaku is _really_ putting the _lust_ in _lackluster_.

But a kiss is a kiss to Lelouch no matter how initially unwilling because he has always been very good at persuading—

Convincing—

_Seducing_.

It doesn't matter that all of his "seducing magic" is used on Suzaku who can't seem to _truly_ deny Lelouch to save his life.

Suzaku must have thought that Lelouch was armed with a harmless peck (poor, _naïve_ Suzaku) because his passive lips are completely unprepared for the brash bomb of a smooch with which Lelouch strikes him. It would explain the muffled peep of surprise that pops from Suzaku's throat as Lelouch deepens their kiss almost instantly – mostly because it's just too much fun to catch Suzaku unprepared. He revels in this taste of obligation in Suzaku's mouth, licking at the waning breath of the small, distressed noise he made as his firm hands press against his friend's chest in some hopeless form of Lelouch-prevention. Of course, it is _only_ hopeless because all of his brainless brawn is just that: brainless. Suzaku is prone to thinking with his body rather than his head and Lelouch is quite prone to using that against Suzaku during little moments like these.

Behold the glory that is Lelouch's seducing magic.

It certainly seems Lelouch's delusion holds some water since Suzaku is becoming decreasingly disinclined as he sinks into the noisy binding of their mouths. Lelouch is of course very pleased with himself, coiling his arm around Suzaku with the subtleness of a snake to keep things from deteriorating as their tongues wiggle and worm against each other. He can taste that little bud of desire in the way his dunce—er, mummy-to-be begins to return the f_er_vor with sucking lips and hands fisting clothing, shelling the undesired bits of his aforementioned apathy.

Is the magic of Lelouch's seducing magic being beheld?

Because it just worked.

However, like most of Lelouch's physical finesse (—_all_ of his so-called 'physical finesse,' who is he kidding?) it cannot be abused or else he'll experience malfunctioning of his equipment. To avoid overusing his _gift_ (or before Suzaku has the chance to reject him) Lelouch will quit while he's ahead in order to let his batteries recharge and let Suzaku's senses simmer in the _pure_ _sexiness_ of what just happened.

Lelouch slows the kiss, powering down as he slides his tongue from Suzaku's mouth to trace his lips before slipping his own away from them.

"So how are you feeling today?" Lelouch asks in an angel-soft tone, lightly rubbing Suzaku's stomach for specification and kissing his lips once more before allowing him to answer.

Suzaku doesn't appear to be overly amused with the teasing, as the flat line of his lips indicates.

"Just sore. No thanks to you."

Lelouch merely grins wickedly at the sharpness Suzaku's is tone is beginning to bear, as if the seahorse is stomping a warning.

But such a warning is meaningless, seeing how seahorses don't have feet _to_ stomp.

"I don't remember hearing you object _during_…" Lelouch murmurs, tightening his hold around Suzaku as he takes another kiss.

"You always say that," Suzaku meekly mutters into Lelouch's pecking lips, "And just… because… you _don't…_ remem—ber it… doesn't… mean… it… _didn't…_ happen."

Lelouch smirks again into Suzaku's lips at the boy's rare display of shrewdness but is still unrelenting with his butterfly kisses and close embrace as if Suzaku will never notice.

What can Lelouch say?

He's just in an affectionate mood today.

…Is that a _crime_?

"I know what you're trying to do," Suzaku's tone is a cool rejection against Lelouch's lips, his hands a strong decline in their push against Lelouch's chest.

So the boy caught on to Lelouch's ploy of distraction?

Good job.

"Is it that obvious?" he smiles impudently, loosening the belt of his arm from around Suzaku's body.

Suzaku just flicks a knowing-look at him that isn't at all inclined to playing coy as he begins to stand.

"What happened to your sweet naivety?"

"It sours with age." Suzaku finally smirks at him. "Now get up, Lelouch. Or we'll be late."

The feared terrorist leader exhales a bit resignedly at the demand (—not _command_) but gets to his feet nonetheless.

"Yes, _mother_." Lelouch arcs his back, yawning as he stretches out the kinks in his spine. "I suppose I can use this time to wake up before our date."

Suzaku blinks – another ploy playing before his eyes that he'll never see coming.

"We're going on a date?"

Lelouch nods with a suspicious grin, "I'm taking you to a _special_ place after the meeting today…"

•-•

"Why do I feel like I shouldn't be disappointed in you for bringing me here?"

Lelouch smirks, "Because you know what to expect from me by now."

Suzaku isn't at all amused, "You said you were taking me somewhere special."

"This is a special place."

"Lelouch, I don't think a _clinic_ counts as special. And this isn't exactly what I had in mind…" Suzaku mutters, frowning at the sterile examination room closed around them and the paper gown he is forced to wear.

"It's not my fault you assumed something different." Lelouch half-shrugs. "And this clinic _is_ special – it's run entirely _by_ women, _for_ women and _their_ specific needs. It's no mediocre health center that only wants your money."

"_Regardless_, why did you bring me _here_?" Suzaku says in an irritated breath, glancing uncomfortably around at the charts and diagrams on the walls that are all very much _female_.

Lelouch lifts a slightly surprised eyebrow, "Have you forgotten about small fry already?"

Suzaku's cheeks flare up a little as he whips his eyes to Lelouch.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"—a double take filled with annoyance—"And _stop_ calling it that!"

Lelouch dismisses Suzaku's outburst: they're becoming far too common.

Pregnancy doesn't equal emotional turmoil.

But Lelouch seems to forget that _Suzaku_ does.

"Just relax. I need some answers you aren't able to provide."

"Like what?"

"The obvious, first of all; you said you were told how this pregnancy was possible. If you can explain that to me, then I'll have one less question."

"I _did_ tell you. It's the _seahorse syndrome!_"

So Suzaku's sticking with that one? _Honestly?_

_For God's sake…_

"Right… I must have forgotten about your _imaginary_ diagnosis," he retorts, reaching for a pamphlet in a small shelf beside the door. "Second, how is it possible to learn if you're pregnant through a physical? Maybe if you were a woman it'd make more sense, but you're still a male last time I checked."

"They discovered it through my urine."

_…Your urine?_

Lelouch can't look away from the overly feminine leaflet fast enough to scare an explanation out of Suzaku with the demanding alarm flashing from his confoundedly aghast face.

"It was a _drug_ test," Suzaku explains emphatically like _Lelouch_ is the one being inappropriate, "That's part of the physical!"

"Sure, I'll give you that, but if that's the case then why wasn't small fry discovered earlier?" Lelouch responds reasonably, nonchalantly flipping a glossy page he isn't even reading. "And you told me you were around five weeks pregnant. How can you determine that from urine analysis?"

"The drug test is random and I haven't had one in a while."—peculiar how Suzaku seems to have all the answers—"And there _are_ pregnancy tests you can take that tell you _approximately_ how far along you are, if you're pregnant. Where do you think that technology comes from? It's pure science, Lelouch!"

So, in other words, Suzaku doesn't _actually_ know.

And what does that _actually_ mean, anyway?

Did that screwy scientist make Suzaku _urinate_ on a pregnancy stick?

Lelouch isn't sure he really wants to know.

"Whatever you say. I still need to see things for myself." Lelouch sits in the chair next to the paper-covered bed Suzaku is perched on, crossing one leg over the other. "You don't expect me to just waltz right into a _Britannian military base_ and demand to speak to your superior, do you?"

Suzaku fidgets in the metaphorical corner Lelouch forced him into, "No…"

"Alright then," Lelouch says with a huff, a tug of haughtiness straightening his spine after he replaces the pamphlet. "Now behave and maybe you'll get a lollipop."

Suzaku scoffs at him and crosses his arms but Lelouch isn't bothered.

_He_ isn't the one who got cornered.

The only thing cornering Lelouch is this whole conundrum of a pregnancy.

When the tall woman with long dark hair pulled up into a pony tail and clad in a white coat from before enters their room, Lelouch stands with contentment – while Suzaku avoids her gaze – knowing this _educated_ and probably _saner_ _professional_ holds only the truth and bare facts for his rationality.

Is he still holding out hope that maybe this seahorse syndrome is nothing more than a miscalculation, one big misunderstanding?

Yes.

Yes he is.

It took a _lot_ of Lelouch's magical convincing powers and flattery to keep her from kicking them out of this prestigious establishment on their asses, so there's no way he'll let Suzaku try to wriggle free _now_.

Lelouch would have just used his Geass on her, but with Suzaku in such close proximity and the natural limit of his power, he decided against it – there's a better way to use it on her once the time comes…

"So, I'm Doctor Sanica, and I'll be taking care of you," she flashes a quick and tight smile as she shakes their hands and takes their names before getting right to business – so forward, Lelouch likes that. "Normally we might do a transvaginal sonogram to detect early pregnancies like you _claim_ to have, but that requires a vagina for insertion and since I'm not really sure _where_ and _what_ exactly the probe would be scanning, nor do I know of any other way to accurately _test_ this, we'll just do this the easy way…" she bluntly iterates as she attends to the machinery at Suzaku's right which looks similar to a pedestrian computer, grinning at the pale veil her words dropped over their faces when she turns to them again, "Please lie back, Suzaku, and lift up your gown."

The brunet does as he is asked after swallowing the thought of being _probed_, trying to relax against the paper and raise the thin garment she made him change into (he's still wearing his underwear, of course) as she dims the lights and grabs a clear, gel-filled bottle. His hands tremble with nerves as he moves, one latching to Lelouch's hand like a steel clamp once the cold substance is dispensed on his naked abdomen.

"Sorry, it's a little cold," Doctor Sanica says in a moot warning and seats herself in a rolling chair in front of the ultrasound equipment, replacing the bottle for the probe in her hand. "If there's anything in here, we should see it…"

Lelouch pats Suzaku's crushing grip with a deep grimace, watching his friend and partner take in nervous breaths that shudder through his lips and in his chest as the doctor begins to smear the transducer over him. It's hard to concentrate on anything other than the possible fracture Suzaku just cracked through Lelouch's hand, but as soon as the ultrasound screen begins to convulse with the contents of his idiot's belly, a numbing suspense envelops his mind.

For a split second in their shared silence, Lelouch _almost_ expects to see a pouch full of eggs like the male seahorse Suzaku thinks he is.

"…I… I don't believe it," the nonplussed doctor declares like her discovery has left her lungs empty, "I think I _see_ it."

"See what?" Suzaku asks anxiously. "I don't see anything."

"Right here, see that?" one of her long fingers points to the monitor, specifically circling a small, black, oval shape rimmed in white on the screen, "That's a gestational sac, inside which the baby forms just like a bird egg. You can't see the embryo now, it's too soon… but… In any case this doesn't look like a molar pregnancy, not that it would be any easier to explain…"

"Molar pregnancy?" Suzaku questions again – funny how he doesn't mind asking questions considering he didn't even want to _be here_ in the first place.

"A fake pregnancy, essentially. It's too identical to a gestational sac to be a tumor…" she continues to think out loud, but Lelouch doesn't like where the verbal musing is going.

"So you're certain?" Lelouch redirects her with caution so thick in his tone it leaves her no room to ignore him.

"I don't want to say it, but I think whatever led you to believe Suzaku is pregnant wasn't pulling your leg, either. You appear to be at around five weeks, too. How uncanny…"

Lelouch's hand finds some terror in her perplexed-coated words as they both confirm the outrageous and cause Suzaku's clasp to tighten like the jaws of a predator around its prey when it tries to escape.

"And you don't think it's anything more serious?" Suzaku asks worriedly.

Doctor Sanica offers him a kind smile, "No, it looks normal to me – or I guess as normal as it can be. I'd still like to run some blood work just to be sure. I've been doing this for a long time but it never hurts to double check."

Yeah, the only thing it hurts is Lelouch's _wallet_.

"…Is it too early to tell if it'll be twins?"

Lelouch is pretty positive Suzaku just made his heart claw up to his skull where it forces his brain out to plunge to its very gruesome death, and the only thing keeping him from planting his face to the floor is their conjoined hands.

"It is. However, Suzaku, statistically speaking twins aren't very common in Asians, so try not to get your hopes up."

"Oh, no, I was just curious," Suzaku bashfully replies, his cheeks growing pink as he releases Lelouch's hand.

Of course the poor weakling—erm, sable-haired boy quickly coddles said appendage, trying to nurse it back to life as he gives Suzaku a withering glare.

_Damn straight you're only curious._

"Would you like a printout of the sonogram?" she asks them politely – quite the one-eighty from her initial skepticism – as she wipes Suzaku's stomach clean.

"Um…" Suzaku glances at Lelouch as if for permission but the lad is too concerned with reviving his hand to give it. "Sure, why not?"

The physician nods and activates the attached printer once Suzaku is clean.

"Do you have any other questions?"

"Yes, I do," Lelouch voices gravely – his vocal cords shifting towards something _imperial_ – while Suzaku corrects the gown. "It's about your privacy policy."

"We follow patient-doctor confidentiality. That's a legal promise to keep anything that happens between us a secret that _stays_ between us."

"Of course, but what about your staff? Will you be sharing this with your colleagues? Because I'll have a real problem with that…"

For some reason his left is beginning to heat before he even focuses enough to trigger his Geass; like it's more responsive and strong than usual—

"Lelouch," Suzaku chides with a tug of his companion's arm, snuffing the flicker in Lelouch's eye. "She said it's confidential, don't be rude."

Doctor Sanica lifts an eyebrow at them, something close to a smirk trying to capture her lips.

"You have my word that I won't tell anyone, not even my assistant. I know this must be a very sensitive issue for you two and I will honor your trust." She hands over the printout of their baby to Suzaku who takes it as if he believes the _entire_ _world_ is sitting on that paper.

That might not even be a far-fetched idea.

This baby is going to reshape more than just Suzaku's figure, it will reshape Lelouch's rebellion…

"All right then, I have another question." Lelouch smiles slyly, resting a hand on Suzaku's shoulder, "Would it be possible for you to write him a note that will exempt him from P.E.?"

•-

-•

Turns out, no, the doctor won't – not _can't_ – give Suzaku a note to excuse him from gym class because "exercise is important for everyone, even pregnant mothers" so long as Suzaku doesn't overwork himself.

Lelouch would have to disagree: exercise is for idiots who need to compensate for not being able to use their _brains_.

But if Suzaku wants to waste his time with such trivial and arduous activities, then Lelouch has no choice but to accompany the little dope and supervise him to insure he doesn't overstep his boundary.

At least that was the plan until half a jog later leaves Lelouch way beyond his own personal limits and sprawled out on the track, suffering from what he believes to be cardiac arrest.

He spends the duration of the period in the infirmary, but at least he managed to make _Suzaku_ be the one to accompany _him_…

Mission accomplished.

…For the most part.

•-

-•

Only Nina is in the Student Council room when Suzaku arrives for the meeting, sitting in the corner with the room relatively quiet over the light rapping of her fingers over the keyboard – which he notices falters when he enters.

"Good afternoon, Nina," he addresses her, his tone floating on an affable air as he moves to sit at the table. "You're certainly here early."

She doesn't spare him a glance or greeting, only stiffens at his words as if they were ice-cubes that slide down her spine. She quickly resumes typing in obvious rejection, her actions sounding faster – _uneasy_ – and her rigid posture screams discomfort in a silence he's oddly grateful to hear. Too many times have his ears been seared by racial vulgarities from every rank of Britannia's fighters, making the absent sound of her misguided fear and distrust somewhat pleasant despite the reality.

Suzaku presses his lips firmly together and sits in a vacant chair, pulling out some homework from his bag to do while he waits for the other members to turn up so the meeting can start – and he has to wonder if Kallen will make her appearance today, or ever again. He hopes she does. But in the meantime, the lack of communication between him and Nina is awkward and dense like her phobia is sucking the oxygen from the room—

The sudden buzzing of his phone strikes through his senses like a bite from Arthur's teeth and causes him to flinch as if the muffled humming from his pocket has bit him.

Suzaku has never been so happy to receive a phone call.

"Hello?" he answers once he's out in the hall and instantly Cécile's refreshing voice fills his ear.

"Suzaku, are you busy right now? I know you have your club…"

"No, it hasn't started yet," he says as he walks through the clubhouse, surveying to make sure he won't be overheard, "so I'm free for the moment."

"Good. I hope you're doing well?"

"Checking up on me?" Suzaku grins.

"Of course – didn't expect to hear from Lloyd, did you?"

He laughs lightly at that, "Not to worry, I'm doing well." he hesitates to continue, checking once again to make no one is within earshot of his conversation – he _swears_ Lelouch's paranoia is rubbing off on him, "Or so the doctor thinks."

"Doctor?"

"Yeah… My boyfriend"—strange how that word is a little hard to get out yet fun to say—"took me to see a doctor the other day and everything seems normal so far."

"Oh? Were they able to shed light on anything?"

"No. She's just as confused as we are, but she says she'll take care of me." Suzaku's eyes continue to shift around like security cameras as he reminds himself to keep his voice low as a precaution.

"That sounds like good news, then. As long as you both are healthy I guess there's no cause for concern."

"Yeah. Let's hope it stays that way," he says mentally recalling the test results he's still waiting to hear.

"Suzaku, I do have some information for you."

"Oh," Suzaku falls quiet, realizing the main point of her call as he sits on the front stoop outside. "What can you tell me?"

"I've been researching since we talked, and it seems so far that the only way you can legally take a medical leave is if you have an illness or injury that compromises your performance. An illness would be your best bet in getting medical relief, but being dishonest – no matter _what_ Lloyd says – isn't a good idea and I know it would make you uncomfortable. There _is_ a medical clause about maternity leave that would allow expecting mothers a time off from duty. However, you're a male, so that generates some problems. Not only is it…" she pauses for the right word, "_unique_, but it would attract a lot of unwanted attention, especially since the public is familiar with you – not to mention that could lead to exposing your partner."

"I see…" is all Suzaku can seem to say. None of that was good news, not that he was expecting for there to be any benefits for pregnant _males_ in Britannian military health care – or _any_ kind of health care, for that matter.

And the last thing Suzaku wants is for Lelouch to be _exposed_.

"I'm sorry I don't have better news…" she murmurs uncertainly into his silence.

"No, it's fine," he tries to reassure her with a tone that isn't as easy as it was when he used (_wasted_) it on Nina earlier. "I'm grateful for your effort and I'm sure we can figure out something… So don't worry."

Even before Cécile speaks he gets the feeling she isn't swayed by his forced mollification, "…Alright, but please take care, Suzaku. If I learn of anything else I'll let you know."

"Yes, thank you Miss Cécile."

Suzaku ends the call with a sigh, not knowing _what_ he's going tell Lelouch – _if_ he should even tell him anything yet. _Probably not_, Suzaku's better judgment tells him, he should wait a little longer and give his hopeful optimism another chance to catch _something_ before he worries Lelouch with more stress.

The jolly chatter of Shirley and Rivalz approaches him from across the lawn, their jovial banter a perfect paring to the bright and sunny afternoon – something he knows his disposition isn't matching. Suzaku tries to shake off of all his anxiety and smile for them as they attack him with happy hellos; but it's only later once he sees Lelouch lazily stroll into the Student Council room that the upward curve of his lips is effortless and natural.

And happy.

When Lelouch returns the gesture, a smile soft and discreet underneath the boisterous Milly but comfortable and warm over Nina's consistent neglect, Suzaku feels his unsettled emotions shirk into the corners of his mind. He feels lucky, fortunate, to have Lelouch by his side and confident that no matter what, they'll get through this together just like the former prince had promised.

•-

-•

The suggestion of autumn that Nunnally had wanted in the wind nearly a week ago is beginning to nibble now, tingling Lelouch's cheeks as he loiters on the rooftop – his makeshift lair, as far as Zero's affairs are concerned.

The check-up phone call on the Black Knight agenda ended long ago, well before the last bell rang to let students stampede out of their florescent cages and into the fresh air of anticipation about the festivities tomorrow that stole an entire school day from their heavily academic lives. Lelouch watched them swarm over the school grounds to their respective clubs in disinterest, ignoring the excited haze of babbling that filled the empty air between him and them.

He had more important things to do than waste time with some peripheral fair or biased education – even if one of his teachers _had_ vehemently lectured him (and Suzaku) to not coast by on his class ranking. But Lelouch simply doesn't care; not when there are _bigger_ things out there that need his attention more than some glorified romp through Britannian history – he's _making_ history, damn it.

Still, he knows he should be herding himself to his own club obligation like everyone else for the sake of it, if nothing else, and if he leaves now he'll be fashionably late at best.

Blame it on Milly or his general distaste for playing pretend, or maybe something _else_ entirely, but Lelouch just can't seem to get his feet to move from where they've cemented during his talk of rebellion.

Maybe that's why Suzaku is suddenly standing next to him with a half-smile.

"Thought you might be up here. I went by the club house and saw you weren't there yet. I hope you're not trying to hide again."

"You know me too well…" Lelouch replies lazily, flattening his palms on the cold balustrade.

Suzaku tips his head in silent agreement, facing the schoolyard with a fully-formed grin.

"Maybe… but you don't really make it difficult to find you around campus. You're always up here."

"I like it here," Lelouch says a bit defensively and it makes Suzaku look at him in silent amusement – as if that much wasn't obvious already, but that doesn't make his statement any less true.

Even though Lelouch has his own room for when he seeks solitude, it isn't so much a sanctuary as it is a place to sleep (or not, in Lelouch's case) and store his things. He has privacy despite being in a club house that many other organizations share, but there's nothing quite like soaking under a wide-open sky where it's sometimes hard to dwell on all the negatives. The rooftop breathes a mental freedom that his bedroom smothers with all of its subliminal reminders of the past.

It's usually even better up here when Suzaku decides to join him.

"Well, I came up here to be the bad guy and make sure you don't get _too_ 'lost' on your way to the meeting," Suzaku says wryly as he turns towards the exit, ensnaring Lelouch's arm with his hand.

Lelouch acknowledges Suzaku, his gesture and its silent warning, and throws it right off the rooftop.

"I don't know why you insist on policing me so much," he complains languidly, not budging a tiny bit from his spot – _almost_ daring Suzaku to literally drag him kicking and screaming all the way to the Council room.

A laugh bubbles in Suzaku's chest as he looks between Lelouch and the door.

"I don't know, maybe I just like _spending_ _time_ with you. With how busy we are the Student Council offers a prime opportunity to do that."

Lelouch looks into those grassy eyes, sensing an _opportunity_ arising right this second.

"In that case," the taller boy begins, shifting into the bedeviling shade of himself as he entwines the willowy arm _not_ in Suzaku's clutch around said-boy like ivy, connecting their hips while wearing lecherous lips, "you can just stay up here with me so we can spend _quality_ time together, _alone_."

Suzaku's mouth supports another lopsided smile that's more on the dry side this time, but he still welcomes the kiss Lelouch presses to his lips.

"Unlike you I uphold my responsibilities, wanted or not," Suzaku admonishes with that mild smirk, squeezing Lelouch's arm when he tries to land another kiss. "And I don't think I need to tell you that it isn't smart to get into _this_ here and now."

Suzaku is of course not only hinting at the chance that another club member might come searching for Lelouch up here, but also the fact that if anyone were to look up _right now_ they'd see something they really _shouldn't_.

Lelouch thought of that already – if anyone _ever_ bothered to look up here Lelouch would have been caught skipping by now – which does make Suzaku's statement redundant in his mind.

"So come on, _lover boy_, before we're later than we are now."

Sigh…

If he must, he must.

Lelouch goes with a grin, trading his arm for his hand in Suzaku's grasp as they head towards the stairs which earns him another glance from that _very_ kissable smile – a temptation that goes unresisted yet again.

They would descend the stairs a _lot_ faster if Lelouch could refuse this impulse that strikes every other step…

Still, Suzaku should be proud that he is one of _few_ beings who can make Lelouch _voluntarily_ leave his happy place.

•-•

"Tardiness is something I've come to expect from Lelouch, but it is truly a shame to see his bad behavior is influencing you, Suzaku." Milly's snarky voice greets Lelouch and Suzaku as they walk through the door, right into the chaotic debris of festival preparations.

Lelouch can't help noticing how Shirley immediately looks up from the clipboard in Nina's hands, causing the bespectacled girl to glance over her lenses after scratching her pen over the paper. He quickly averts his eyes to Rivalz who is totting a medium-sized looking brown box from the closet to the table where a large flock is currently perching. The boy's face is already glowing with scarlet blooms, no doubt overworking himself to please the girl taking advantage of him because she knows _exactly_ what he's doing – _talk about bad behavioral influence…_

"Sorry we're late," Suzaku apologizes with a small duck of his head, dipping into a faint blush.

Lelouch is sorry, too.

Sorry he couldn't be in a different club that's far away from the succubus that likes to call itself Milly Ashford.

The President seems to be genuinely frazzled at the moment, but her frayed nerves still struggle to dull the excited shine in her eyes.

"If you'd like to make it up to me~" the she-demon begins to openly flirt as she saunters closer to the two boys – sounding like a siren ready to sink a ship, in Lelouch's opinion. "We're having a bit of a box crisis in the storage building – something about things not going back to their appropriate place, or some such nonsense – and for some reason we have the lot of these here." Milly sweetly conveys, gesturing with a sway of her arm at all the card-board swamping their council table, "So~ I need all these boxes on the table here to be moved to the storage room, and I could certainly use your _able_ arms, Suzaku." she practically _giggles_ in his ear as she _playfully_ pinches one of his biceps.

_Damned succubus._

Suzaku is about to accept her seemingly innocent task being the brainless sailor that he is, trapped in the _friendly_ arm of their president, but Lelouch _will not_ have the _mother_ of _his_ child doing any physical labor.

Unless it's sex.

Because the only one who _actually_ labors in that situation is Lelouch.

As much as he hates to admit it…

"Sure thing," Lelouch says coolly, puffing his chest as he walks over to the table. "I think I can take care of this. Let Suzaku help you with something else."

"Lelouch, I said I need a pair of _able_ arms," Milly mocks with a nefarious crook in one corner of her lips.

Lelouch ignores her comment and the slicing snickers from his peers with an indignant lift of his nose.

He is well aware of his own shortcoming, there's no need to bring vocal attention to it.

Lelouch doesn't get _nearly_ the amount of respect he deserves.

"Suzaku isn't feeling well. I can—"

"He isn't? He looks fine to me." Milly's blue eyes swoop to Suzaku, hunting for any sign of illness. "You're not feeling well?"

Only after a glance at the warning glare from Lelouch does Suzaku make a small nod of his head to silently confirm the fib.

"Will you still be able to help us with the pizza? You know, piloting Ganymede?" Milly asks.

"That won't be a problem," Suzaku quickly appeases, trying to ignore the set of vexed violets that are _scalding_ him.

Milly raises an eyebrow but otherwise _shows_ no suspicion before offhandedly shrugging with a wave of her hand as she walks across the room to join the other girls.

Lelouch hasn't missed that Kallen is still absent.

"Whatever. We just need to get these boxes moved, I don't care who moves them."

Lelouch brushes the offending moment off his shoulders and wraps his arms around one stiff box—

But he never really stood a chance.

Lelouch manages to douse a grunt from sparking up his throat as he lifts – using his legs, _not_ his back – the deceptive package from the table, but it's the coordination of hauling the box and moving his feet that proves to be a challenge.

A very demoralizing challenge.

Lelouch is _Zero_, for crying out loud! He won't be defeated by a damned _inanimate_ object—!

He knew to lift with his legs (bravo, Lelouch, bra-vo), but he doesn't know how to shift his balance, how to accommodate the added weight so that his string-bean body doesn't become top-heavy. To his credit, Lelouch doesn't topple right over like a decrepit tower and that _would_ count for something if he wasn't slowly sinking to the floor like a stubborn battleship that won't give up without a _gurgle_.

All in attendance watched S.S. Lamperouge fail miserably to keep himself afloat with disloyal amusement twitching in their lips.

Not one of them sent him an aide.

The _traitors_.

Lelouch slumps to the floor alone, becoming a hopeless mass of pants and sweat.

"…But, Madam President," Shirley starts as she takes disconcerted yet _concerned_ steps closer to Lelouch, peeking inside the cardboard cube containing his doom, "I thought you said these boxes are _empty_."

Milly smirks, "They _are_."

Lelouch groans out a wheezy sound of exasperation and sags almost completely flush to the floor like a deflated balloon.

"Oh _man_, Lelouch!" Rivalz guffaws, "This is why you shouldn't skip P.E.!"

Lelouch grumbles under his pathetic gasping.

"Alright, people, these boxes aren't going to move themselves. No matter _how_ entertaining Lelouch is, you need to get going," Milly announces without concealing her relishing smile as she struts right by her broken-down Vice President and towards the door. "I want all the boxes gone by the time I'm finished with my _very_ important phone call~!"

The others follow suit, grabbing boxes or pushing carts and marching out of the door with Rivalz chuckling closely behind Milly.

Everyone exits except for Suzaku, who stays behind to make sure Lelouch doesn't huff and puff his way into heart failure.

"That was really sweet of you, Lelouch, but unnecessary," Suzaku endearingly pacifies as he crouches down, reaching to hold the hand of his gasping partner.

Lelouch merely grunts.

"I need _papa bear_ to keep up his strength just as much as you need me to, so you shouldn't be doing anything outside of your limits either."

Lelouch yanks his hand away and flips his face in the opposite direction of Suzaku in a defiant snub.

"You… shouldn't… kick… a man… while… he's down."

Case in point.

Suzaku smiles and hoists the box up from Lelouch's hands without difficulty.

_Showoff…_

"I'll be waiting for you above the table once you're done swallowing your pride."

"…Don't hold your breath," Lelouch wryly mutters.

Suzaku just laughs.

_Bastard…_

•-•

"I've thought about possible names for the baby," Suzaku states in an easy voice as he climbs into bed next to Lelouch, fresh from the bathroom with mint on his breath. "…_If_ you want to hear them, that is," he adds timidly when he sees how his announcement stunned Lelouch's expression.

He's just surprised Suzaku would pick names so quickly – should he feel guilty about not choosing any yet?

Then again, who knows if this is only the first of many name suggestions to come…?

"Of course I do," he says warmly, using his finger as a placeholder on the page in the pregnancy book he's reading (which of course he is tagging and marking as a guide for Suzaku) to give the other boy his undivided attention. "I'm just surprised you have them so soon."

Suzaku smiles a bit abashedly to himself.

"Yeah, well, ever since we talked about it in the bath Saturday night it's been on my mind."

"Ah. So you're just trying to undermine Fry as soon as possible, are you?" Lelouch jokes.

Suzaku doesn't quite roll his eyes, but he does bump his elbow against Lelouch's arm with a light, good-natured laugh.

"Don't be so paranoid."—A glimmer of something coy yet impish gleams in Suzaku's eyes—"But I think you might like these names better…"

Lelouch smirks in a faint glow of confidence, "Alright then, spill it."

"I was thinking…" Suzaku's eyes fixate to his fingers as they toy with the white blanket draped over his lap, "if it's a girl, we could name it after your mother and if it's a boy… my father…" Green eyes glance at Lelouch only once, but even as they peer at the fabric twisting in his fingers Lelouch knows they're not focusing on that action.

Once again Suzaku's words have marched right out of the blue and into Lelouch's skull, obliterating any words he was trying to construct.

Could it be that this is Suzaku's way of grieving, coping or more properly channeling his guilt for killing his father—?

_"To me this is like a miracle…_ _it felt like something I should treasure. Something that I shouldn't take for granted…_ _I can't give this up…"_

—Has this baby become his new atonement? Is he using this strange twist of fate to make up for a life he took away by giving back another…?

(What _right_ does _anyone_ have to interfere with that?)

Lelouch is silent for one beat too many and it causes Suzaku's eyes to slowly slide up to those big violets like a chastised child.

"…You don't like it."

"_No_, I _do_," Lelouch hastily relays. "I… think that's a good idea." He shapes his lips into a smile that's as warm as the summer they spent together seven years ago. "I must admit that I'm little touched."

Relief blossoms on Suzaku's face with a returned beam and a quiet release of breath.

"I'm glad."

Their sunny lips meet in a few sweet kisses when the disowned prince leans to his right, sharing the moment as per his usual pecking fashion.

"Marianne Kururugi does sound a bit strange," Lelouch muses as he leans away, "but it's certainly unique."

"You don't want the last name to be Lamperouge?"

Lelouch shakes his head, "No, the baby can have yours. Aside from the fact that it would be safer if it didn't have my name, you were an only child. Our son or daughter should carry on your family name. Moreover, children of unwed mothers typically take their mother's name."

"Oh… right." Suzaku nods solemnly. "That makes sense."

Lelouch doesn't like the sudden strike of somberness on Suzaku's face or the shift in tone that comes with it—

Marriage is such a discouraging thought, to know there's yet _another_ level of inequality they have to overcome due to the Emperor's infectious preaching of _Darwinism_ – because what purpose does same-sex coupling serve for human survival if no offspring is produced? – but that will change someday… Lelouch can't say he knows how the Japanese feel about homosexuality, but if _Zero_ has anything to do with it, change will definitely be sooner rather than later.

—but tart titters tumble from Suzaku's lips, effectively reversing the sharp decline of their mood.

"That's such a logical response, I don't know why I'm surprised," Suzaku teases.

Lelouch pulls on his classic smirk and leans in close towards Suzaku, very intent on keeping the lighter air of Suzaku's amusement from rolling right off the bed.

"And I suppose this officially means Fry is out of the running?"

Suzaku laughs again, "Just like you in a foot-race, Fry never stood a chance."

Lelouch's expression flattens but his voice is still bloated with mirth, "There's no need to get nasty about it."

The insult is certainly uncalled for and any other time Lelouch likely would have returned the serve, but tonight it's just nice to hear Suzaku laugh and see him smile like old times – like the happy and carefree boy he fell in love with under the summer sun.

For this sake, Lelouch is willing to take one for the team.

•-•

Despite all the physical exertion during the meeting today, Lelouch is still finding himself awake hours after they retired to bed.

Somehow the small fry is becoming too real for Lelouch to handle. It must be the doctor visit along with Suzaku's sudden name revelation that has done him in; solidifying the reality in his brain to the point that he's struggling to let his panicking cerebrum relax into the cushion of sleep that's trying to coax him into a dark peace. Sleep has never really been an easy thing for Lelouch to catch, granted, but lately…

Before now, this pregnancy was all an eerie dream filled with talk and fluff, not visual and solid proof that proved somehow, somewhere, someone was right and now he can't stop staring at his surreal circumstance like it's a dizzying painting of surrealism where the truth is hidden in plain view.

If there is _even_ a truth to find anyway…

Anywhere.

Whatever it is, it's certainly wrapped up tight in a baby's body, camouflaged as a "miracle" that leaves Lelouch juggling much more than he'd like too.

Perhaps the one respite that tackles Lelouch's distress every other thought is that he isn't the only one who _sees_ the mystery of it all, that the doctor doesn't buy whatever fairytale magic planted and fertilized Lelouch's seed inside Suzaku's body. Aside from that one shred affirming his sanity, there's not much relief fighting to coddle him in a calming embrace. Even some of the nervous excitement about _being a father_ that's started to thread through his apprehension isn't thick enough to unravel the quilt of anxiety cocooned around him.

All his status as "father" does is remind him just how real his situation really is – maybe too real for him to properly face. Lelouch wants to protect Suzaku at any cost now more than ever before.

(Why _else_ would he have acted like an undignified ass during the Student Council meeting?)

Lelouch has always been overprotective, yes, but it feels strange this time.

Different.

Like the maternal feelings he has for Nunnally have been twisted and multiplied, making the ambition he welds for destroying Britannia hotter than the flames of Hell. That monster nation has always been a threat and Lelouch will be _damned_ if he lets it interfere with his potential to have a _real_ and _happy_ home life.

In fact, it makes Lelouch wonder how his father was able to be so callous towards his own son – a son who was only speaking out of emotional distress from losing his mother and nearly losing his sister (his _entire_ world) – by banishing him with frightening ease. What kind of father doesn't care about his children? What kind of man—

No; what kind of _human being_ treats _their_ _child_ with such heartless flippancy? It's absurd how someone so _god damned complacent_ could throw away his own _flesh_ and _blood_—

Golden blonde hair framing a conceited but warm face with sharp blue eyes stutters behind Lelouch's eyes like a sticky slide show as he remembers how specifically artist hands and fingers controlled chess pieces and art media alike. Over those many checkered boards and blank canvases drips the sound of a slightly snooty voice into Lelouch's ears with a sickeningly sincere smile flashing on an overconfident face before all that genuine affection is scratched off like an undesired sketch by a single gunshot.

_Clovis…_

The feeling of squeezing that trigger is still vivid, imprinted into Lelouch's palm as is the taste and smell of fresh blood that invaded his senses before he could flee – after he saw how easily the clear, critical eyes of an artist fell flat and unseeing for the _first_ time.

Lelouch had done away with Clovis almost as easily as his father had with him and Nunnally, hadn't he?

(Even though he wants to believe that Clovis' death wasn't meaningless.)

Does that mean Lelouch is only becoming—?

_No good_…

Can't think about _that_ now or he'll _definitely_ be up all night.

Lelouch lies in bed with tired eyes, wishing they could close on the endless streams of thoughts that smother the somnolence of his body yet nurse the restlessness of his mind. He's irritably aware of the slumbering idiot next to him who's flaunting all the rejuvenating sleep he's getting with his steady breathing and calm body and it nurtures an urge within Lelouch's grumpy, jealous delirium to elbow Suzaku right in the side.

Of course he won't do that.

He just looks to his right, at Suzaku, with a melting gaze in lieu of malicious treatment.

_Jerk…_

Still, there's something serene with a napping Suzaku in itself; it's one of the very few times he looks so at ease, at peace – the other times being whenever Nunnally is able to make him relax with her contagiously light-hearted nature or peppered moments in bed, particularly on the ride down from his climax. Sleeping next to Suzaku is comforting, his warm body becoming a luxury Lelouch has already spoiled himself with (God knows C.C. can't compare, damned bed-hog), which is one reason the boy is tucked into his bed a night out of schedule – earlier than the safer night of tomorrow.

Lelouch turns onto his side, watching Suzaku dream on his back in a stillness he must have picked up as a habit from the grueling nights of bunking in the cramped quarters of Britannia's military rejects. Ignoring the wrathful path of that thought, Lelouch reroutes his mind as he stares at the shadowy profile of Suzaku's face, at the way his eyes roll over whatever imaginary movies are playing inside his head. He wonders if Suzaku ever has nightmares about his father when he sleeps alone, about that bright afternoon that stretched into seven dark years, and if they ever throw him into a sweaty state upon waking—

But all this _wandering_ does is lead Lelouch right back to the issues he wants to avoid: Britannia, his father, his sleepless nights…

Lelouch lightly touches the side of Suzaku's face with the back of his fingers, skimming down a soft cheek he wouldn't mind kissing right now.

In fact, a hesitant thought later and he does, leaning over carefully for a dry peck on warm skin. Suzaku doesn't stir, not even a tiny bit, and Lelouch isn't sure if he's pleased about that or not. He runs his fingertips down the other side of Suzaku's face with a feather touch in an effort to comfort himself, wishing he could steal some of Suzaku's sleep with his gentle touch. But seeing how soundly the seahorse is sleeping, Lelouch is glad he hasn't disturbed him.

A mother _does_ need to get as much rest as possible…

Lelouch's eyes drift lower with his sliding palm, settling on an unfathomably pregnant belly that's rising and falling with a breathing chest underneath his thin blanket. Violet eyes gaze intently on that flowing motion, flicking tentative lashes at that comatose face before deciding to indulge another urge – this odd compulsion to nest himself closely not only to Suzaku, but their unborn child. And there _is_ something placating about laying his head on the arc of Suzaku's ribcage where a heartbeat can drum in his ear as his hand caresses their _miracle_ through layers of fabric and flesh. The fondness for this newfound tranquility shapes Lelouch's lips into a faint and tiredly affectionate smile that's too weak to display itself as proudly as his arrogant smirks, but the emotion is there.

_I'm going to be a father…_

The thought still doesn't feel like his own no matter how many times it crosses his mind – it feels as if _someone_ _else_ is talking inside his head… But as unreal as it all feels and as much as Lelouch cannot seem to really _accept it_, he still feels… happy.

The kind of happy he hasn't experienced since he could feel his mother's warm hugs.

Conversely, all this newly-gained perspective as a father brings Lelouch are his thoughts full circle, continuing through their vicious cycle:

He wonders how much it _must_ have hurt Lady Gabriella to lose her precious son…

If her pain will ever heal…

If the _Emperor_ ever regrets his decision about throwing away his two children…

If they are missed by that man…

If _that_ man ever even loved them…

How could his father _not_ love them…?

…_Why_ didn't their father love them?

So tense and frustrated are Lelouch's thoughts that they hitch through his body, twisting his muscles extraneously tight like a screwdriver recklessly close to stripping a screw and shaving off all of his lethargy. Those meek slivers of sleep that managed to meld together are shredding into dust and if he could focus on this draining feeling, he'd realize the hollow iciness seething in his heart is spreading like frostbite through his veins. Yet it _is_ this crystallizing cold that locks his mind in brooding with their arctic mosaic of gloomy thoughts about abandonment.

How many times has Lelouch fallen asleep with the same restless thoughts?

Far too many times to properly count.

It is a sickness that ripens in his mind with age, with the prolonged arrival of answers he might not ever actually gain—

But a spark of heat is all it takes to crack his frigid depression…

A hand as warm and soft as a blanket drapes over Lelouch's head with fingers slowly starting to weave through his hair, prickling through his skull like the sharp shatter across a frozen slate of water. Through these fissures fall his barren thoughts, collapsing into this lulling, tonic touch of what Lelouch realizes is Suzaku's hand as it pets his head, tenderly tousling the ribbons of his onyx hair. It's a constant motion like the current of the sea and Lelouch melts even faster when another hand curves around his arm, slinking down to cup his own hand that he lovingly rested on Suzaku's stomach. He realizes his hand was starting to clench into a fist when his pregnant partner begins to rub over it, effectively halting the action by liquefying Lelouch completely and cleansing him of all the restlessness and forsakenness from his body.

Wrapped so securely in Suzaku's arms like this with the soothing movement of his stroking hands, Lelouch…

Soon enough Lelouch is eased to sleep under the care of Suzaku's sensitive hands, unaware of the soft, contented smile on Suzaku's lips as he listens to the older boy's breathing become deep and heavy in an untroubled slumber.

•-

-•

Lelouch wants to think that the festival has been going smoothly but he knows better than to tempt the Universe into any painful punch-lines, so he just tries to enjoy the calm while it lasts.

And yet, perhaps just by _thinking_ he shouldn't tempt the universe he has.

Sure, the press has invaded his home – so _that_ was Milly's important phone call? – but it isn't anything he couldn't handle for now—

As he stood on the rooftop, surveying the hectic school grounds like a king would from his ivory tower, Lelouch was tending to his Black Knights' matters – namely, the coup d'état he threw into the works earlier this week under Suzaku's very pregnant nose. It was the person belonging to that very snout that made Lelouch realize he needs to move faster. He needs to be the _black king_ he constantly sends into battle ahead of its own infantry on their fictional battlefields and sucker-punch the Emperor right in the side before he knows what hit him.

Lelouch needs to pounce while the time is right, and he needs to do it quickly to keep Suzaku – and their baby – away from the fringes of a bloodier Hell.

—But no, the Universe seems to serve to only screw Lelouch at every turn, for as Lelouch is concluding his phone call, Milly comes frolicking towards him with "big trouble" on her lips.

Even though he was sent to do more of the President's bidding for the festival – which is _technically_ his job, anyway – he was at least able to witness _something_ good, for a change. A truce between Suzaku and Kallen blossomed right before his eyes as he was checking up on the green-eyed seahorse, and the pact appears to have confined their rivalry to the battlefield thanks to the generous obstinacy of Suzaku's idealistic character. That alone cut tense knots loose from Lelouch's muscles, and it helped his steps to become a bit lighter as he camped outside – hiding in plain sight – to begrudgingly take care of his festival responsibilities—

But when the Universe gives, the Universe takes.

Here he sits on a bench, doing his damned job, where he is apparently rewarded with a hammer landing square on his head.

On his head!

When he isn't even slacking off!

And it only gets better… It's some stiff from the Britannian military who has assaulted him, no less!

Sure, the woman apologizes – Miss Cécile Croomy, Lelouch's memory reminds him, and she seems to recognize him as well – but the absolute _last straw_ is when Lelouch hears that _wretched_ voice from that _wretched_ woman demanding for that _wretched_ food at such a _wretched_ time!

(Karma is such a bitch…)

•-•

"Please tell me you're not jeopardizing our safety for circular junk food!" Lelouch barks as he shoves C.C. into the closest get-away, the storage building.

She doesn't particularly resist him, and her compliance is oddly annoying.

Like _Lelouch_ is the one being the ass.

As if.

"It wasn't the reason I came, but it is the reason to stay." –of course her cool voice does nothing to chill his heated temper.

"No. You're not staying, not when this place is _crawling_ with Britannian military and the media," Lelouch declares without compunction or any of his _schoolboy_ composure. "If there's something _important_ you need to tell me you know what number to dial."

"Who's pregnant?" C.C. asks abruptly, her bland words yanking Lelouch's austere scold right out from under him and slapping him the face with it.

"What are_ talking _about?"

"Abortion. You asked me about it a week ago…"

"I remember…" Lelouch furrows his eyebrows and crosses his arms over his chest, letting his irritation retie the stressful knots in his body.

C.C. stares at him for a moment; something in her eyes is demanding yet yielding like a white flag of surrender.

"So, I want to know who it is."

The prince of Calm, Cool and Composed himself exhales through his nose like a bull ready to charge.

"Tell me you're not here for something as irrelevant as that. I don't have time to—"

"I want to know."

"_Nothing_ like that is happening."

"Don't bother acting. I know you better than that."

"Do you?" Lelouch counters curtly, his arrogant air nearly aromatic.

"I know you're not one for small talk. If you bring up a subject that means it's important no matter how subtle. Even if you were to chat you wouldn't pick something like abortion just to pass the time."

No argument there, but that doesn't mean Lelouch won't try…

"You assume too much. It could have been schoolwork related for all you know. I _do_ have health class."

C.C. isn't buying it.

Perhaps if he had peppered his words on a slice of steaming hot pizza she would scarf them down without a second thought.

"Please, Lelouch, if there's one thing you don't need help with it's your academic career."

Lelouch is beyond annoyed and he's very certain that the pain he's beginning to feel in his left arm is the ticking time-bomb of another heart-attack.

Or maybe a stroke.

"_Why_ are you so adamant about this?"

"Why are you so adamant about _avoiding_ this?" C.C. tosses back at him, still sounding as emotionally charged as stone. "You know it only makes you seem more suspicious."

"Maybe, but I still don't understand why you care."

There's a slight pause on her end wherein another flicker of something peculiar shivers in her eyes—

"I don't want anything interfering with our contract. I don't want you to forget about fulfilling my wish."

_Showing your true colours, are you?_

So self-serving of her – just goes to show who is more self-centered around here than Lelouch.

"I could evade conflictions with your wish if you would just tell me what it is," he fires at the witch, almost wishing she would just burst into flames—

Then she could bake her own damn pizza!

"If you don't tell me I'll just start guessing again."

Lelouch wants to strangle her, and he nearly lets his thoughtless impulse take control of his body before the sound of other voices slaughter his ill-conceived notion of asphyxiating an _immortal_—

He isn't happy to see intruders – never mind that the storage building isn't _his_ property – and he is _less_ happy to see that it's not only Kallen but Ohgi and some _other_ woman too—

He is _even less happy_ when C.C. barbs him about using his Geass too much.

Damned immortal witch should learn to watch her mouth!

She's _immortal_, not _invincible_.

•-•

Suzaku knows he probably shouldn't, but he's enjoying himself.

Despite spending most of the festival working backstage he's still having more fun than he's had since he was a child, before guilt-driven masochism could wipe away that inner reflection as if it never existed. Perhaps he has earned himself a little fun – although he wouldn't go so far as to say he _deserves_ it, as Arthur's bite seems to remind him. The work is even carefree, if not a little menial, and the spirited students frolicking about are a boost to his optimism about Britannia, that it _can_ create good if given the chance.

Maybe even Nina will come around eventually…

He was even able to settle something with Kallen. He gambled on her wanting to maintain her lie of a life but he figured his odds were good if she's anything like Lelouch who trudges through every day as a liar to protect himself and Nunnally…

And perhaps just like Kallen, Lelouch really _is_ willing to risk everything for change…

He's certainly made it clear who he favors to win, and isn't his father—

But Suzaku hardly has time to let his mind float away on uplifting or sinking thoughts as he embarks on creating the world's largest pizza inside the antique model frame, Ganymede. The controls aren't difficult, just simpler and a little jerkier than the refined, modern Lancelot model he's used to operating. Aside from the obvious value of this knightmare, Suzaku was told by Milly that Lady Marianne, _Lelouch's_ _mother_ – or The Flash, as Milly had said she was commonly known as – also once piloted it, which squeezed his gut with even more pressure and responsibility. He understood it was a priceless piece of history, he just didn't realize such history was so close to home. Suzaku is confident in his skills, but he needs more than that to perform to the best of his abilities.

He needs respect for everything Ganymede has done, what it represents to both history and the Lamperouge siblings—

However, somewhere between his obsessive trepidation about piloting and saving Princess Euphemia from being squished into oblivion by the massive mob of people, Suzaku forgets to honor the pizza. It spirals from Ganymede's hands and onto the spear of a nearby tree, rendering it inedible and disqualified.

(This of course leaves one hungry witch very disappointed.)

The news crew seems to have forgotten it as well as they scramble to circle the Princess long before she requests their attention from the safety of Suzaku's protection, all of them so excited to be the first to report The Sub-Viceroy's announcement of—

"…The Special Administrative Zone of Japan! In this Special Administrative Zone of Japan, Elevens will return to their name 'Japanese.' The discrimination between Elevens and Britannians will not exist in this special zone! Be it Britannian or Eleven, everyone will be equal! Can you hear me, Zero? I will not ask about your past or the truth behind your mask. So, please join the Special Administrative Zone! Zero, let us create a new future in Britannia!"

As if her unprecedented declaration wasn't enough, the crowd begins to chant her name – chanting her name in encouragement, support, _approval_ of what she's just unveiled to all of them. Cheering the step forward she is proposing and as if they're all ready to take it with her. Suzaku hasn't been this shocked since he learned he was pregnant and he can feel his heart swell in his throat with all his mixed emotions and astonishment – he _knew_ he was right to trust her, to _believe_ in her… There's no good left in Britannia, Lelouch says, but he seems to have forgotten about his own sister.

So Suzaku has wonder even through the effects of her bombshell what _Zero_ is feeling and thinking right now, how he'll react and what his decision will be.

And in practically the same thought he wonders the exact same thing about Lelouch.

* * *

We all already know what Lelouch thinks about the SAZ, don't we? Apparently it _is_ the worst that could happen, in his eyes.

I don't really like to summarize things, but I didn't want to just rewrite scenes, either, so I hope the festival read well. Generally speaking, I really hope this chapter doesn't totally suck and wasn't too choppy because it was really kicking my ass… *chapter-planning fail*

A few things I guess I should address:

1-I know the timing in this story isn't identical to canon, as you might have noticed, but I fudged a few things on purpose simply because it makes it easier to write this story.

2-two new characters popped up in this chapter, Alice and Sanica, who you may recognize from the Nightmare of Nunnally manga. They will not be adhering to their canon roles, so no worries for anyone who hasn't read the story.

3-I read once that Gabriella more or less lost her mind after Clovis died, so take what you will from Lelouch's thoughts about her.

Before you go too far, there's a link to something rather amusing in my profile that I think is worth the couple extra clicks, if you have the moment to spare.

Well, I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter, had happy holidays and have a happy new year! Hopefully I'll see you again next month…!


	5. True Love Filled with Super Sperm

Oh, sweet, sweet anticipation. I hope it treated all of you well while you hanged from the cliff of the last chapter. If not, then kick that anxious feeling right in the ass because here's the continuation!

This update is a lot later than I wanted – how I was ever able to publish the first and second chapters so closely together is still a mystery to me. So I think a more realistic updating "schedule" would be every other month. …Because I'm slow at writing even with all the free time in the world.

Oh, and, the quote in this chapter is used sarcastically…

_Review reply for Ginny:_

Happy you like the story! I know this was a longer wait then I suggested, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless! Thanks for the review! XD

* * *

"_An ancestor of mine maintained that when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." –Spock_ from_ Star Trek VI (and 2009)_

•-•-•-•-5

Ambiguous

A Tale of True Love Filled with Super Sperm

Milly is basking in her festival success.

Sure, the pizza turned into a disaster due to Princess Euphemia stealing the show, but it could have been worse, all things considered. The students, and even outsiders, got to enjoy themselves for at least an afternoon and take their mind off of all the complicated matters framing their lives before it came marching right back into the picture, and that's really all Milly could ask for from these impromptu festivities. She needs to strive for these things now since she won't be president for much longer or as free and independent once this ball and chain called a marriage shackles her to a life she doesn't want and she is forced into something she never wanted to be.

Speaking of her buzz-kill of a fiancé; he just _had_ to make his rare appearance at a time when was she trying to _not_ think about him or their arrangement – who even _invited_ him, anyway? Lloyd spent most of his time apart from her, though, so it wasn't a real issue until he tactlessly revealed his intentions behind the proposal without a hint of shame or apology – but even _she_ has learned to not expect so much of him by now.

If only she could marry a different, distinguished man of nobility who was also too smart for his own good…

Like a prince…

A prince she would already happened to know quite well—

"Where's Lelouch?" Shirley inelegantly bursts Milly's mental bubble with the very name on her mind.

If only Lelouch was still a prince, all of Milly's problems would be solved.

"Aw, jeez, Shirley! When are you going to start calling Lelouch 'Lulu' again?" Rivalz complains in the background, still shuffling around the student council room with tasks of club business – in this case, paperwork – Milly delegated to him that she was too lazy to do, like with everyone else who's off doing her dirty work.

Shirley blinks, "Lulu? I used to call him that?"

"You're still up to that?" he counters tiredly, a frown muddling his brow.

"Huh?"

"This little act of yours," Milly inserts herself into the conversation – not like she has any work to do, might as well harass Shirley. "Don't you think it's been long enough? I have to admire your commitment, but there must be better things to commit to than this."

"…'This'?" Shirley is still looking at them as if they're speaking a different language.

"It's no use." Rivals breathes a hearty sigh of disappointment. "I guess Shirley can be just as stubborn as Lelouch."

"But there must be hope for her yet, Rivalz. She _is_ looking for our charming Vice President, isn't she?" Milly zealously utters as she stands with a flourish to grab the orange-haired girl with this very vigor. "Do you know where he is?"

Rivalz simpers at how easily his best friend's nemesis is getting swept away with her meddlesome plans.

"'Fraid not," he supplies to her on a level of his own discontent (he _does_ have a duty to protect his buddy, but he can't keep from wondering about how she might _repay_ his betrayal). "I haven't seen him since the festival. Maybe he's with Nunnally?"

Milly's shoulders sag somewhat at that but her vibrant varnish isn't wiped off completely. If her persistence in annoying Lelouch has gained her anything, it's knowing his personality and obsessive-protective nature, particularly involving little Nunnally. After today's scare with Princess Euphemia and the press – whom he never even wanted on campus in the first place – it is very plausible that he tucked Nunnally and himself away for safety like some elusive and ferocious wild animal protecting their young.

Too bad for Lelouch, Milly happens to like the thrill of the chase.

"…Um, Madam President?" the captive girl chirps a mild plea soaked in confusion at the prolonged hold of her shoulders.

"Off to Nunnally!" Milly suddenly proclaims with a dramatic point in some vague direction that isn't even close to Nunnally or Lelouch's room, startling her peer. "I can't sit idly by while these two lovebirds fly farther and farther apart! I'll help you two patch things up before it's too late! Rivalz, you watch the homestead in case Lelouch shows up."

Before Shirley can manage a peep of surprise or Rivalz can question what Milly means by "homestead," she has the other girl in her abominable clutches as she sets off to hunt down Lelouch. (There is a small part of Milly that wants to live out her desire of dating Lelouch through Shirley, but mainly she just wants to see her friend happy and ruffle the ex-prince's feathers in the process if she can.)

Milly is of course ignoring the fact that Shirley seeking Lelouch could already mean that she wishes to make amends, but Milly can't let this grand _opportunity_ pass by her and who knows what that romantically-challenged fool will say without proper guidance.

The poor boy will never know what hit him.

Exactly how Milly likes it.

•-•

The sky is melting into a warm sunset as Lelouch broods on the rooftop.

It's absurd how swiftly everything he labored to achieve has been thwarted in one announcement. It's obvious that regardless which path he chooses, acceptance or rejection, it will mean that the Black Knights are in an unfavorable position. Should they join Euphemia and her Zone it would be equal to admitting defeat and should they refuse her it would be equal to denying peace.

Are Zero, the Black Knights, their rebellion, really that insignificant to be undone so easily?

Or is Euphemia really that lucky?

Her notion alone is nothing more than a pipe dream, a utopia that looks good on paper but fails in reality.

And yet, either way, Lelouch is screwed by this simple ideal.

It seems that the best strategy would be to travel a different path, one not offered and one he must discover. He needs to bypass Euphemia's proposal while sparing Suzaku at the same time… but where can such a path be found?

(But is he just being too selfish to not take her up on this offer? His personal plans are important, but should this baby be more important than revenge? Even if he is able to get around this Zone, would it still be too risky for Suzaku? Lelouch has thought about capturing the Lancelot before, but how much time would that really buy him? How long could Lelouch realistically keep it in the Black Knight's possession and what of Suzaku in the meantime? He's much too stubborn to simply call it quits.

Like Lelouch.

At the end of the day, would everyone be better off with the Zone…?)

Oh how the Universe must be _laughing_ at Lelouch and all his pious gains and for thinking he could _ever_ control anything – he can almost hear it as a maddening contraction in his mind as the rumbling embodiment of his father claiming him dead where he stands, nothing more than a _worthless_, _lifeless_—

"You really are becoming too predictable."

—the light sound of a teasing voice sends Lelouch into a flinch and right into a pair of green eyes and an amused grin.

Suzaku lifts an eyebrow, "…Did I scare you?"

"No, I was just…" Lelouch rubs at the taunting echo in his head and the thin sheen of sweat on his brow, "it's nothing."

Suzaku hums a bit and leans against the railing in a heavy sigh with his back to the aftermath of the festival.

"I'm actually glad you're up here – I can talk to you alone," he says in a shaded tone.

"Oh? About what?"

"The obvious."

"Which obvious…?" Lelouch mutters.

Suzaku smiles with a silent chuckle, "Are there that many?"

Lelouch stares at Suzaku.

Something doesn't smell right.

The _seahorse_ doesn't smell right.

What kind of _question_ is that?

"So I guess this is about Euphie, then." Lelouch accurately assumes, his voice and expression like gray clouds rolling across the sky

"It's pretty shocking, isn't it?" Suzaku says with a small smile to oppose Lelouch's mood. "She wants me to assist her and I want to do it."

_That's_ not a surprise.

"Why wouldn't you?"

Suzaku shrugs, "I think some people will have a problem with it…"

"There's always going to be a person to object no matter what." Lelouch adds a bit bitterly, "That's the point of _freedom_, isn't it?"

"…You think Zero is one of those people? Who will object?"

Lelouch doesn't look at Suzaku, his eyes hardening in a familiar frost.

He doesn't like where this is headed…

Is _this_ what the suspicious scent he sniffed was?

"Who knows?" Lelouch shrugs, maintaining his blasé exterior. "It's certainly put him in a tough position."

"Say he opposes… which side would you choose?"

Lelouch sighs through his nose, a hissing leak from his internal brooding.

"Is _this_ what you're fishing for, Suzaku?"

Suzaku looks uneasy but doesn't quite squirm in his _stance_, "I know how you feel about all of this. I think it's a fair question."

"Do you think it's fair to put all of your hopes into this? You really think something like this will work?"

Suzaku frowns, "How will we know until we give it a try? Don't be so cynical."

Lelouch tries not to scoff, but a weak puff of it leaks anyway, his indifferent composure decomposing like a corpse.

Like the corpse of his mother.

"It isn't cynicism," Lelouch says, "it's logic."

"So logic dictates that people can't work together?"

Somehow… this conversation doesn't feel right.

What are they talking about, exactly?

"Logic dictates that this idea is a hopeful mask for the real problem," Lelouch counters calmly – he still believes in some semblance of unity, considering most everyone is united against Britannia in one way or another. After all, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. "You don't think this will really solve everything, do you?"

"Where's your faith in humanity?" Suzaku is becoming upset – the last thing Lelouch wants is to get into a heated discussion (or an argument, as he refuses to put it) but he doesn't want Suzaku to get excited about what could be a sinking ship, regardless of his personal perspectives about Britannia and politics.

"Humanity?" Lelouch repeats disgustedly as if the word is a revolting regurgitation. "Britannia has proven that they have no humanity left to have faith in."

Suzaku is taken aback, gaping at Lelouch as if he rose from the grave.

(Or as if he is _seeing_ Lelouch for the first time.)

"How can you _say_ that? Does Nunnally have no humanity? Euphemia? Or the Student Council? Or _you_?" The appalled flash over Suzaku's face quickly fades into antagonism. "In case you've forgotten, you're Britannian no matter how much you wish you weren't and I don't see you spitting in the face of peace – no, you think only _radical_ actions can welcome it."

Lelouch has a hard time swallowing Suzaku's words because, for once, they're all true – especially wishing he was never born Britannian, not even a prince… Perhaps Lelouch's own words were a bit extreme, but most of the Britannians in power are the ones of despicable character. As in most cases, those pure at heart with the best of intentions are the ones with no way of making their dreams a reality.

Except Euphemia.

Still, she's the rare exception…

"You don't understand, Suzaku," Lelouch tries to speak evenly, realizing Suzaku is taking this personally when he really shouldn't. "Britannia is like a rotten tree, and what do you do with rotten trees?" he looks at Suzaku intently, already seeing the comprehension of his point twist the younger boy's features. "You destroy it all the way to the roots, otherwise it will just decay and die and keep new, better life from growing in its place. Mere pruning won't save it, you know that, and trying to disguise it with other plants won't change the fact that it's dead and useless."

Suzaku doesn't respond right away, only drops his eyes from Lelouch's as they are surrounded by a tense silence that bakes on their skin. There is a distant call of laughter from students strolling across the grass but the sprightly sound suffocates when it breaches their muted moment up on the roof.

"…So, that's how you really feel," Suzaku finally says, not breaking his gaze from his shoes, and Lelouch realizes from the boy's tone that he said too much, revealed something he shouldn't have.

For this reason Lelouch does not respond – a heavy assumption swathed in a cape and mask is standing on the edge of Suzaku's words – because no matter how silence is interpreted, it's only a conjecture and nothing more.

_This_ is exactly what Lelouch didn't want to have happen, but he just _had_ to go and speak his mind.

And Suzaku says he wants Lelouch to open up to him? Why, when he never likes what Lelouch has to say?

What does he expect will come out of Lelouch's mouth? Rainbows and butterflies? _Rainbow coloured butterflies?_

Oh, no, it must be rainbow coloured _seahorses!_

Suzaku seems to huff a little when he shoves off the railing, a bitter flavor to the morose bite of his voice.

"I came up here to tell you that I'll be leaving with Princess Euphemia, so don't wait up for me tonight or expect to see me for the next few days, maybe the week. In fact, I'm leaving now."

Lelouch can't let Suzaku go like this, let this rift between them grow like an eroding canyon, so he tries to mollify the situation to keep things from going too far south.

The smart and sensitive thing to do would be to give Suzaku some space, to let him go mellow alone, but Lelouch doesn't understand that – he's usually just as aggravated as Suzaku in these situations, so there's typically a mutual parting for a while. All Lelouch understands right now is the need to recover as if a strategic move failed or backfired, and since emotions don't belong in combat they don't sync to this moment. Their relationship isn't a battlefield – no matter how many times they've fought – and sometimes Lelouch forgets that what with living most of his life in a defensive shell.

It doesn't help that Lelouch is much too prideful to just apologize for being so crass – or just simply _apologize_.

"I'll walk you," Lelouch says amiably as Suzaku begins to drift from him. "Considering I won't be seeing much of you for a few days, I better make the most of this."—what an ominous thing to say at a time like this, but maybe it isn't so unintentional—"Will you be in school at all?"

Suzaku doesn't appear to particularly want Lelouch's attention – not when he's trying to gracefully exit the scene unlike that _one_ pitiable morning – but something respectable, or perhaps a determination to not have their relationship fall apart before the small fry is even born, keeps him from pushing Lelouch away completely.

"I don't know." of course, his speech is clipped and strained, probably even annoyed at Lelouch's disregard for personal space at the moment.

"I hope you are – won't enjoy the day without you," Lelouch tries to compliment, hoping his uncommon admittance of… well, just an _admittance_ will somehow reverse the damage or at least somehow lessen the tension.

"There won't be anyone here to keep you from skipping, so just enjoy that."

Naturally Lelouch's attempt is just thrown back at him in passive-aggressive smack.

Suzaku has mastered keeping his temper and aggression in check in fear of repeating a past mistake, making these scarce verbal stabs all the more potent.

"It's no fun unless it annoys someone," he tries to play back in a dry return, but the veneer is stretched too tight to fool either of them and it only leaves his humor as out of place as it is graceless.

When Suzaku merely hums in a bitter reply, Lelouch rubs his hand over the small of Suzaku's back and wrangles his waist when they step through the stairwell door. The flat look of an expired tolerance speaks volumes in Suzaku's eyes, but he doesn't try to stop Lelouch from his pathetic pacification as he leans in for a kiss, which is rigidly obliged by impassive lips.

"Be careful," Lelouch murmurs to him gently, hoping his words aren't taken as a subtle threat. "Be mindful of your situation."

Suzaku's eyes dart away from Lelouch upon hearing this as if watching his mental words of annoyance ghost through the air because he won't gladly bark them. Lelouch knows Suzaku doesn't want to be constantly reminded to not push himself like he used to do but Lelouch doesn't know how to not be over-protective. He would be making the same demands even if Suzaku wasn't pregnant.

Although the pregnant fact does make Lelouch more fretful than his usual strength.

Lelouch tries for another kiss, gently nudging Suzaku towards the inner railing of the stairwell in a practiced motion but instead of exuding his lustful intentions through a sultry smirk his body moves with an awkward desperation of rusty machinery. Suzaku still allows himself to be caged like lazy water as Lelouch connects their lips but almost once the contact is made Suzaku breaks the dam, pushing Lelouch away before this ungainly moment can amount to anything more uncomfortable, and forced.

"I have to go," he says quietly with a turned face, seeming to step deeper into his dejection as he walks down the stairs, alone.

Lelouch lets him leave because he knows he's failed and that pushing more than he already has would be foolish.

Once again, failure churns Lelouch's stomach.

So much so, he can taste it in his mouth.

He could chase after Suzaku, but he already knows the boy won't listen to anything he has to say unless he could apologize sincerely, which he can't. False apologies are not for Suzaku, or anyone that truly matters to Lelouch, nor does he regret what he said – only the timing. Ruining the moment with Suzaku isn't a first time offense for Lelouch, and one would think this smooth prince would have figured everything out by now, but in a way it's actually a compliment. There isn't anyone else Lelouch would feel comfortable enough around to vocalize such strong opinions to except Suzaku because his best friend is one person who understands him at his core. Lelouch might not say much about what's on his mind or what's in his heart, but he says more to Suzaku than to anyone else, even Nunnally.

So the problem is getting Suzaku to understand that without _telling_ him because it is too much of a difficult thing to say out loud – because, duh, confessions aren't his strong point.

At the same time, though, if Lelouch should be learning how to be more romantic than _Suzaku_ should be learning how to better read between the lines.

Lelouch miserably leans against the railing with a heavy heart as he listens to the sound of Suzaku's steady steps slowly spiral into silence, realizing it's a cruel metaphor for their conversation. What he would _give_ to have ended their rooftop talk like they had for most of this week; full of kisses and smiles and _zero_ hard feelings…

•-•

Lelouch proved to be a more elusive prey than Milly previously thought – although she probably should have known better, considering his history. He wasn't with Nunnally; the precious little sister having no leads to follow, simply saying that he had stepped out – off campus or just out of the clubhouse? Who really knows…? Milly didn't want to stray too far from the nest, knowing Lelouch's return was inevitable, so she set off to wait – _snoop_ – in Lelouch's bedroom only to find the door to be locked (odd, considering she went through the trouble of _removing_ the outer number pad before he moved into the clubhouse – when did he have another installed…?).

But there was another miscalculation Milly made: Shirley.

She kept blabbing about how it wasn't urgent that she see Lelouch, that it could wait and blah, blah, blah…

As if Milly cared about the details.

In the end, they were caught red-handed – namely Milly as her hands were all over Lelouch's lock as if it was Lelouch _himself_ – by none other than the stealthy maid caring for the Lamperouge siblings. Shirley had jumped as high as her voice squeaked which Milly found rather amusing as she merely looked over her shoulder. Sayoko is her former maid, after all; she had plenty of time to become acquainted with the sneaky style of the Japanese woman when she was still growing into her own spy shoes. Milly did at least have the decency to play coy, slapping her hands to her sides as if they weren't fondling a keypad while smiling an innocent smile Sayoko knew better than to trust.

…Which is why they're trudging back into the Student Council room like wounded soldiers – or at least Milly is, Shirley is all too relieved to have failed the mission.

Where is that girl's spirit?

"Back already?" Rivalz greets them, lounging at the table alone. "What's the matter? He wasn't there?"

"No…" Milly says with a defeated sigh, sweeping her eyes around the room while Shirley scuttles passed her. "Where _is_ everyone?"

"Kallen went home early, said she didn't feel very good." Rivalz shrugs, folding his hands behind his head, "Dunno about everyone else."

"Strange that Nina isn't here, she practically never leaves this place."

"Maybe she had something to do – she was in a really good mood about _something_ earlier today," he says with a bit of a yawn.

Milly purses her lips, wondering just _what_ it is that could have her little computer mole straying away from the burrow.

"I guess it doesn't matter." Milly leans against the table next to Rivalz, glancing briefly at a napping Arthur curled up on the couch. "Today was tiring, and we did already get everything cleaned up for the most part, right?"

"Yes Ma'am," the blue-haired boy salutes with two fingers.

"Is this someone's…?" Shirley starts on the other side of the table, holding a relatively thick and yellow book in her hand before turning a strange colour. Her eyes swing from the book and back to them, a redness finally bleeding on her cheeks.

"Someone's what?" Rivalz asks.

"…Book?" she peeps.

Milly's eyebrow lifts and she walks over to the girl, relieving her once again of some mental burden—

But once Milly's eyes feats upon the title, she realizes that this is far better than sneaking into Lelouch's room while he's away from home.

"…What is it?" Rivalz questions from his chair, now leaning forward a bit with his hands pressed on the table with a curious frown – both interested about the object of attention and bracing himself against Milly's diabolical smirk.

Of course it's only the juiciest piece of game she's yet to catch.

Now begins the _real_ hunt!

"Who do you think this could belong to…?" Milly asks to no one in particular with her sleuthing senses going wild, slapping another question to Shirley before she even hears an answer to the first, "_Where_ did you find this?"

"Just un-under the table." Shirley eyes the salivating of Milly's mouth in an understandable state of alarm, at first unsure which question to answer, but quickly chose the one directed _at_ her as if hoping that will bait the rabid gaze somewhere else or just plain leave her invulnerable to it. "I saw it when I was tightening my shoe strap…"

"Thank _God_ for your loose shoe, my dear!" Milly excitedly exclaims through her deranged frothing.

"What are you talking about?" Rivalz demands as he marches to their side of the table. "It's just a _book_."

He must not be a boy who believes knowledge is power.

Milly shakes a chiding finger at him, "Ah-ah-ah~! It's no ordinary book! See for yourself."

"_Pregnancy for Dummies_…" he reads out loud in a bland voice but his face promptly matches Shirley's; a dreadful fear pulling his eyes open wide. "Don't tell me you think this belongs to one of _us?_"

"Of course!" Milly nods with a wink, very pleased the boy is at least able to follow her train of thought. "No one else uses this room but the Student Council!"

"Yeah, but, people come in here sometimes," Rivalz tries to argue. "It could belong to anyone! Especially with the festival today – who knows who could've been in here today or how long that book's even been sitting there."

What a rational statement to spoil her mood.

He's beginning to sound like Lelouch!

She taps her lip, "You do bring up a good point, my good chap, and there doesn't appear to be a name or anything in here except highlights and tabs… I suppose there's really only one way to know who it belongs to for sure!"

Milly holds a long, dramatic pause here, clearly telling them to ask her about her plan.

And really, why wouldn't they want to know?

So they do, in unison, with a slightly frightened pitch to their voices, perhaps expecting they'll unleash certain doom with the password: "…How?"

Milly Ashford grins deviously, bathing in the dark aura slashed with lightning that clouds up around her, making the other two believe they're going to witness their fear come to life—

"We wait." her words don't sound nearly as sinister as her voice and they're not nearly as sinister as the way she clutches the book close to her chest as she hunches slightly like a mad scientist—

Hm, maybe Lloyd _is_ rubbing off on her in some trivial way…

—but it's sinister, all right; and after another inviting pause where she forces one of them to inquire again it's Shirley, surprisingly, who takes her bait.

"Wait?"

"That's right!" Milly beams, all of the ominous air dispersing in a flash of the dazzling smile that Sayoko is right to distrust. "Whoever lost this book will likely be coming back in here to find it, and that's when we'll have our answer!"

Rivalz and Shirley exchange a look, neither really wanting to comply but also not able to object, and so they unwittingly become her accomplices, whether they like it or not.

Which they obviously don't.

But Milly is too caught up in her chase that she doesn't notice the difference.

"And then if the person comes alone, all we'll have to do after that is figure out who they're involved with and the case will be closed!" and then all Milly has to do is figure out how to use the information…

May the Universe have mercy on them.

_Everyone_.

•-

-•

Lelouch never honestly thought he'd see the day when Shirley would ditch him. The Universe has never been so kind to him but he really expected more from Shirley – she calls and asks to meet him downtown only to become a no-show? It isn't like her to be inconsiderate. Then again, she can be flaky if the occasion calls for it…

It would be nice to entertain the idea that maybe this is just some playful revenge for when he was late to that concert, but that's just too delusional a notion to cherish.

It's is still a nice thought, though.

To have Shirley sore enough at him to play a practical joke for leaving her out in the rain – where she _wasn't_ distraught because he inadvertently killed her father and many others in a literal landslide victory (until the Lancelot appeared, of course), tears indistinguishable from the downpour. No, at that time she would've reprimanded him in all seriousness without the fury because she'd be appeased by the simple fact that he even came – she _wouldn't_ have lunged at him in an impulsive thirst for consolation that only he could provide at that moment…

There was a tiny voice that told him he shouldn't return her kiss for scattered reasons (namely, Suzaku), but her lips were cold and her body was shaking, it didn't seem right to reject her when she was so emotionally vulnerable and upset – and when it was all his fault. Shirley clung to him with a grief he's experienced first-hand, a feeling he tries to forget with every passing day, and it was as if she hacked into that part of his heart and punched the hidden bruise. In a split-second decision, closing his arms tightly around her, to cradle her as he firmly kissed her quivering lips, was all he could do to quell the undesired feelings drudging up from the darkest places inside both of them.

Lelouch was never good at properly – _healthily_ – handling his own emotions, so what was he to do for someone else? He honestly cares for Shirley, he always has, and if it wasn't for Suzaku, C.C. or Mao… well, who knows how their relationship could've developed.

Naturally, Lelouch never told Suzaku. There wasn't a need to. No need for more guilt. He doesn't suspect that Suzaku would be jealous as he's far from the jealous type, in fact he probably would have understood, but there wasn't a real reason to bother or worry Suzaku more than he needed to be – especially when things with Shirley took a turn for the worst. Lelouch relates the kiss to a hug, and there's nothing wrong or unfaithful about giving a hug, so there wasn't any reason to "confess." It was an act of condolence and nothing more.

But all of this is besides the point as these events don't even exist in Shirley's Geass-controlled-brain, so he isn't sure what prompted her to abandon their plans this afternoon without so much as a texted apology – she never did fail to nag him in the past…

Could it be the growing frenzy of the Zone that spooked her? Lelouch doesn't think it likely. She's much more open-minded and rational than her clumsy naiveté lets shine, so she wouldn't let a few bad attitudes spoil her own. Well, whatever the case, Lelouch is still left to skulk the city alone for the afternoon, breathing in the fear and bigotry of his _fellow _citizens as the Zone ceremony looms on the horizon. Lelouch can't say he's anymore pleased about this development than they are, but for _vastly_ different reasons (although a certain baby has begun to make him question his standing). Lelouch was even lucky enough to personally witness one deplorable denizen in particular, and if it wasn't for Rivalz that _nobleman_ would be taking a long walk off a short pier, so to speak – and Rivalz almost joined him.

Another curious strength of Lelouch's Geass happened again today but Lelouch dismisses it quickly as just a matter of timing (because he only needed to close his eye to prevent the command from being conceived because it was mid-order, not because his power is simply evolving). Perhaps if he wasn't so distracted, like he had been at the clinic, too, he would be more alarmed. Lelouch hardly has the cranial capacity to spare as he pondered his way through the mall and did the important errand of getting Nunnally's birthday present. It's as he sits for a rest on the elevated patio of a relatively barren bistro that he is confronted by his ever persistent shadow with a fast-fading smile as it joins him across the small table.

"How long have you been following me?" Lelouch interrogates sharply, staring down the pair of golden eyes that always seem to follow him wherever he goes. He is neither pleased nor amused by the fact that she's roaming freely through the city behind him, but she's here, so he might as well face her. Then maybe he can get her to _disappear_ again.

C.C. looks at him plainly, either ignoring the challenge in his voice or too indifferent to even notice it.

"Long enough to know you've been stood up," she answers lazily.

He would like to believe that she didn't surface just to stalk him for an _infantile_ reason, but he knows better.

"I suppose you're still searching for the same enlightenment," Lelouch grouses, sipping his black coffee with vexed verve. "You are _incredibly_ annoying."

She only stares at his surly remark like a porcelain cat; Lelouch can almost feel those amber discs scratching at the inside of his skull.

He never quite gets used to that feeling.

But a jaded breath gales from his lips as he's well aware that it's only a matter of time before she'll learn the truth with or without him.

"Fine, you're right. I admit it. Are you happy now?"

"Normally I would be."

"…But?" being the one wound so tight, he glares at her apathy.

C.C. shrugs, "This is different, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Lelouch slings his eyes to the thin clutter of traffic below them, "It's different alright."

"Who is it?"

Lelouch gives her a nasty look but it doesn't last long. As infuriating as it is to be asked the same thing repeatedly, he's never been so tired and confused and all this baby business has him feeling a specific hollow – one that never sealed but one he learned to ignore with the aid of Nunnally's love. Becoming a father has forced him to face this hole once again, and within it is the aching desire for some maternal support.

Simply: Lelouch _really_ misses his mommy.

Seems he'll have to settle for C.C.

"Suzaku." Lelouch reveals in a weary breath, not even caring how she'll react.

"…What about Suzaku?"

"No," Lelouch shakes his head, looking to her once again, "he's the one. He's… pregnant."

C.C. really has mastered the art of playing statue.

However, this time there's something concretely condescending in her eyes.

"…I know you're stressed, Lelouch, but that's a very bad joke. Even for you."

Lelouch's lips curl, thankful he isn't the only one who thought this a bad joke.

"I know what it sounds like, _believe me_ I know how utterly preposterous it sounds, but it's the truth. I saw an ultrasound and everything. The baby is real and inside Suzaku. I have no idea how it happened, but it doesn't matter."

"Maybe it was your Geass." C.C. offers without hesitation – she has always been quick to digest a situation.

Now Lelouch gets to play condescending statue, "…What?"

"Geass is the only thing that sets you apart from Suzaku, correct?"

Lelouch shakes his head vehemently – no, he doesn't _even_ want to go there.

Not with _her_.

"Are you trying to tell me that _Geass_ has _impregnated_ Suzaku?"

"No. I'm saying you are probably the cause. If you are both otherwise normal and healthy teenage boys, perhaps your Geass is the culprit. You are the reason for the pregnancy, not Suzaku. He's merely the receiver of your—"

"Stop," Lelouch interrupts with a scowl. "What does that mean? That I have contaminated DNA or something?"

"Probably more like… contaminated sperm."

Lelouch would sputter if he could take back his voice from the skeptical bewilderment that stole it.

"Oh, well, that's _just_ _great_," he grumbles, making the tableware clink as he loudly drops his hand down on the table. "I have _superhuman_ _sperm_."

C.C. grins, "Super sperm – I don't think there's anything _human_ about having contaminated reproductive specimen."

"This isn't the time for jokes!"

She shrugs again, "You've got to learn to laugh sometimes, Lelouch. One day it will save you a lot of stress and probably your blood pressure."

He can think of one thing that would save him a lot of stress _right_ _now_.

But he still needs C.C. around, so her demise will have to wait.

Unfortunately…

"You don't think that's really possible, do you?" Lelouch won't admit that he's pleading here, but he really is hoping for a shred of sanity to tie to the enigma inside Suzaku's pregnant tummy.

"It can't be impossible," she says so nonchalantly that he begins to wonder if she's just yanking his chain or being sincere. "And I take it that having an abortion isn't a part of the plan?"

"No… We're having the baby." Lelouch starts to laugh a little, a troubling sound as some of his internal crazy escapes his grip, "I have no idea how, but we're having it come Hell or high water."

"Is that a bad thing?"

Lelouch shakes his head slightly but doesn't really answer her question, steering the conversation in a different direction.

"C.C.… is there, any chance that my Geass will affect the baby?"

"Hard to say. I've never known a contractor that reared children…" she pauses, her eyes falling a bit flat before she speaks with a distant wind to her voice, "Well, there was _one_ woman."

"And?" Lelouch's eyes draw to her like moths to a flame, visibly anxious to hear something _useful_ crawl out of the pizza-hole in her face.

She looks uneasy about divulging the information, a crack in her statuesque disposition, as if listening to a voice in her _head_ that's demanding she stay silent, but C.C.'s never been good about following orders.

"Her case was different from yours. Her Geass didn't manifest until after she birthed children. Even so… Geass is like a tattoo or a scar and those are not inheritable traits."

"No, but everyone has a birthmark of some sort…" Lelouch shakes his head after a thoughtful moment – even if it isn't Lelouch's fault, Suzaku has also been under Geass for some time and also subjected to C.C.'s own mysterious powers. That couldn't possibly affect Suzaku or the baby… could it? And what about the mark on C.C.'s forehead…? Is Lelouch being paranoid or justifiably concerned about this possible connection? "I don't know. I guess I can only wait and see what happens."

Not a fond move for Lelouch.

He hates to be oblivious and underprepared.

But so goes the way of the Universe…

"If something occurs," C.C. asks him carefully – with a hint of sensitivity in her tone? – "you'll tell Suzaku about your Geass?"

Lelouch looks at her with heavy eyes, "I'm not sure I'll have a choice."

Trying to explain any of this to Suzaku… Lelouch hadn't thought about it, not even once. He isn't sure he'd even know where to begin in order to help Suzaku understand, or if Suzaku would be appalled by it. As far as Lelouch sees it, if there's nothing to worry about then there's no reason to tell Suzaku. It might not be honest, but isn't dishonest either.

If their baby is involved, however, it might be a different story. Lelouch would rather not think about it – the last thing he would want in the world is for his child to contract anything strange or harmful – but not thinking about it isn't going to solve anything.

He'll need to devise yet another plan.

Or maybe several.

Just to be safe.

•-

-•

Suzaku isn't used to having good days.

Most of his life everyday has been the same, just another date to cross off the calendar while wondering if tomorrow would (finally) be the last.

Lately he hasn't lived through that routine.

Lately he's been having good days.

He is even learning to adjust – _welcome_ – this pleasant change as it greets him more brightly each day.

He has even realized that he looks forward to _living_ each day rather than, well…

Today is one of those good days.

Not only was he informed by Doctor Sanica that all of his test results were nothing to fear, but he's standing beside Princess Euphemia as they usher the unveiling of the Special Administrative Zone, witnessing the surprising flood of civilians lining up to join. Suzaku feels some positive emotions filling his gut with light and fuzzy energy – happiness, pride, confidence… something else? He can't quite place it, but he knows that hope and inspiration are buzzing around inside him. Maybe there's even some admiration in there, too. Suzaku doesn't know how to begin to fully appreciate Her Highness's effort with this Zone except for vowing that he'd be here every step of the way no matter how taxing they may become.

Not like he hasn't been through worse.

Considering everything Euphemia has done for this… he isn't sure that his services will be enough thanks.

She had admitted to appearing at the festival because she had over-heard him say it would be an open-campus and that she came specifically to inform him about her idea. Euphemia didn't mention how or why this idea came to her and Suzaku didn't want to be intrusive. He wouldn't dare to think she'd do so much for just him – yet in a way, this if for _everyone_, too – but she's made it clear that she honestly would go to great lengths for him—

"_More than two-hundred thousand citizens have applied for the S.A.Z. of Japan, and it doesn't show any signs of slowing," Euphemia says. "It's all thanks to you."_

"_What?" Suzaku looks at her curiously confused._

"_They trust our venture because they have you to represent the Japanese interest."_

_He smiles softly, "No, it's because you announced this yourself."—Ever the modest soldier—"I am truly grateful to you."_

"_As am I to you," the princess returns instantly and gently genuine. "I hope you can continue to help me with all of this."_

"_Yes, Your Highne—!" Suzaku moves in an automated fashion, preparing to bow as he crosses his arm over his chest, but she stops him with a reminder to drop the formalities, like always. "…Right." He says a bit awkwardly and she chuckles softly, reminding him of Nunnally._

"_You know, pretty soon you won't be able to address me with titles like 'Princess' or 'Your Highness.' Constructing the Special Zone didn't come without sacrifices." When Suzaku only stares at her, obviously not able to catch her drift, she gladly takes the invitation to spell it out for him with a warm smile, "I have given up my right to the throne, and the title that comes with it. I'm no longer a princess of Britannia, just Euphie – so you better get comfortable with the informalities!"_

_Suzaku gawks at her, "But—!"_

_She shakes her head at him, never losing her smile for a second._

"_Don't worry yourself with this, Suzaku. I've thought a lot about it and in the end I realized that I'm not giving up anything that's truly important to me. Everybody wins in this scenario, even me!"_

—Her sweet nature is almost enough to distract him from Lelouch's bitter nature…

But here he goes thinking about Lelouch _again_.

He is ecstatic about the way things are going, to say the least, and the reality that Euphemia isn't harboring any animosity about his unruly rejection of her order has him walking on higher clouds. And yet, despite all the optimism surrounding him, his mind never fails to remind him of all the troubling matters he's trying to leave in the dark for just a little longer.

It isn't that Suzaku doesn't understand Lelouch's hostility, he just wishes that Lelouch could let go enough in order to trust Euphemia – he should know his sister better than anyone – just as Lelouch wanted Suzaku to forget about his death-wish. Lelouch always wants everything to go his way with unyielding stubbornness, and he's usually able to force his victories in the end, but this time things are different. Suzaku doesn't know if this attitude stems from his childhood in royalty or not, but he has a hard time imagining that Lelouch would be any different had the boy been a commoner. The stories Nunnally and Euphemia have shared with Suzaku virtually painted Lelouch in the same light as a child to who he's become, not to mention the shades of Suzaku's personal experiences. Even if the past is a fading memory, the hues of his history aren't distorted completely; he was still an arrogant know-it-all who held a high opinion of himself and was protective of Nunnally.

However, there is one aspect of Lelouch's character that isn't coloured quite the same way from his past. The playful kid described to Suzaku from fond reminiscences was innocent and carefree as he wasted days filled with flowers and laughter. He wasn't the aloof castaway painstakingly trying to rebuild his and his sister's future one lonely day at a time in a neglected corner of the Kururugi property and he wasn't the resentful young man scorched by distrust and blistering with abhorrence for the blood in his veins.

Suzaku realized at that time before they met, they were the same: unbroken.

Although they eventually became friends, after Suzaku learned there was a soft, gooey center inside this snarky block of ice, it didn't change his view of the older boy. He didn't know the side of Lelouch that was a bright-eyed boy who knew little of suffering thanks to living a life in his mother's bubble (and Suzaku wonders if Lelouch is repeating history intentionally or not by doing the same thing with Nunnally). Only years later, after piecing together these small bits of the past has Suzaku understood that Lelouch is more driven by his rage than his despair. He understands that Lelouch isn't a person who will simply forgive and forget.

Suzaku would be lying if he said he wasn't curious about the details leading up to Lelouch's and Nunnally's expulsion but he never dared to ask, not wanting to reopen any wounds or stall their healing anymore than time already has. Of course Lelouch has never spoken a word about it – of course, Lelouch doesn't speak about his past, period – and Nunnally was spared the wicked truths at the time, and even Euphemia doesn't seem to be too keen on talking about it, either.

Suzaku didn't pry but the topic crept up on them and all Euphemia revealed was that Lelouch had challenged the Emperor in the royal court after the death of his mother and the man didn't take very kindly to it. She said that at the time she didn't understand or know all of the details and that whenever she asked Cornelia or Clovis, and even Schneizel, they didn't do more than frown and simply tell her that Lelouch and Nunnally were sent somewhere far away – little did she, all of them, know they'd never return. (How badly he wanted to reassure here then, to let her know that Lelouch and Nunnally are very much alive, but he couldn't…)

Afterward, Euphemia described a life where Nunnally and Lelouch were forgotten like yesterday's garbage and it pained her deeply to walk through a callous palace where her brother and sister seemed to vanish from reality like they never existed (that was why Clovis had recreated Lady Marianne's garden at the Government Building, she said, when he came to Japan as a sentimental move to be closer to his lost siblings… Suzaku often wondered what Lelouch would think about that, but he gets the feeling that the discarded prince wouldn't see it in the same positive light that Euphemia does.)

But where does all of this lead? What place do any of these musings have in the present?

Suzaku doesn't want to think it, but it's much too late for that. He held strongly to denial, that he was just imagining things or that the idea was ridiculous, alas all these connected dots drew a picture of Lelouch as a terrorist instead of smiling, little boy. The former prince has proven himself intelligent and vindictive enough with radical politics that lead him to supporting the Black Knights, but is there any way Lelouch could take a life so easily, let alone _hundreds_? Is Lelouch's inner child so blackened by his father that he would send innocents to the grave because of his anger?

Doesn't he realize he still has people who love him? He wanted Suzaku to understand this same truth but does he believe it himself? That he doesn't need to fight anymore…?

That he doesn't need Zero.

Maybe Suzaku is wrong about this, and he desperately hopes he is, never has he wished so hard to be wrong, and maybe it isn't too late for Lelouch to move forward or be rescued.

If it wasn't too late for Suzaku, then it isn't too late for Lelouch.

It can't be too late…

•-

-•

"You're being awfully cautious," Euphemia notes as Lelouch tampers with the security panel in the control room. "I've had all the cameras turned off."

"I've had to hide most of my life thanks to a certain empire," Lelouch says rather solemnly, thinking of the weapon concealed in his cape with a clenching fist and of the surrounding Black Knights awaiting his commands. "I don't think I have to tell you what a difficult position you've put me in with this Zone."

Her eyebrows knit together, "What do you mean?"

Lelouch throws a quick glare at her for the _nerve_, but her naïve nature wipes his eyes clean in an instant.

"What did you expect to accomplish with this?"

His question purses a picture of puzzlement on her face.

"Accomplish? Well…" her eyes sway away from his, searching for the right way to phrase her thoughts. "I guess to put it simply: to make everyone happy."

Lelouch holds his tongue.

"This way we can be together like before while at the same time everyone else can benefit." She reconnects their gaze, "This way—"

"You honestly think things can go back to the way they were before?" Lelouch can't keep from spitting spitefully at her. "Things can _never_ be the same! Not after everything that's happened! I'm not—!" _the same person anymore…_ "It just isn't that simple!"

"I know it won't be exactly the same, but…" Euphemia's entire shine darkens before his eyes with the weighted droop of her voice. "Did you think that you weren't missed at all? When I discovered you were alive, it made me so happy I… I wanted to do something about the situation here in Japan, to help everyone and stop the bloodshed. I figured if I can't help you then I don't deserve to be a part of your life."

But by trying to help all she did was force Lelouch into a corner.

And yet, the small fry would probably thank her for it.

Damn, now even the _baby_ is against Lelouch.

"I've worked too hard to have your delusions interfere now." his scathing tongue continues to lash, not sure he likes how this exchange is softening his heart. "It was a noble but vain effort—!"

A striking pain in Lelouch's left eye grabs and drags him to his knees as if a flaming hook pierced the soft muscle and yanked him down as it incinerates his socket. His hand flies up to the agonizing fire searing his nerves as his mind is splashed by panic (…_What is this? Why now…?_) while hiring _all_ of his energy and focus to _just make it STOP—_

"Lelouch?" Euphemia rushes to his side—

"Stop it! Don't cast you pity onto me!" Lelouch swats at her aide, scurrying away from her as if she's the cause for his anguish, his hand concealing the fading fire in his eye. "I don't need your charity! I will make this happen on my own! I don't expect Euphemia _li Britannia_ to understand—!"

"I have relinquished that name!" said girl exclaims with uncharacteristic force, stunning Lelouch where he stands like a bolt of lightning. "I expect the mainland will announce it shortly, but I have given up my right to succeed the throne."

"Why?" Lelouch asks his pink-haired sister as if it pains him – _she'd give up everything for…?_ – as his hand sinks to his side. "Because you've accepted Zero into your heart?"

"I made you participate in my little endeavor," she smiles, "so surely you expect something in return."

Lelouch thought Suzaku was the only one to ever truly astound him.

He was wrong.

He forgot about a simple girl named Euphemia.

"…You gave it up so easily. Did you do it for me?"

Euphemia giggles at him – an almost absurd sound as it lights up the dark control room, "As conceited as you ever were, but no. I did it for Nunnally and Suzaku."

He blinks at her a bit dazedly, seeming to miss the light jab at his character.

She smiles sweetly, "She told me that if she could be with her brother, that was all she needed."

"That's why?"

"That's what made up my mind," Euphemia answers as she gives him a brighter smile. "I asked myself what is really important in this world. Lelouch, I haven't given up anything that I really, truly treasured. And you don't have to worry, I haven't told anyone about you."

"…And what about Suzaku?" Lelouch has a feeling he already knows how Suzaku is involved in this, but he wants to hear a confirmation.

"I said I haven't told anyone. Not even—"

"No, not about that."—_thank_ the Universe for that, though—"You said you did this for Suzaku, too."

Euphemia's cheeks are brushed pink as she turns a bashful gaze away from him, and somehow Lelouch is reminded of a certain island incident, a specific conversation striking his mind like a bullet—

_He is lying by a campfire which was his __only__ accomplishment after his attempt at hunting and trapping failed miserably – there probably aren't any animals worth eating to catch, anyway – where he's bitterly nibbling at some of the fruits Euphemia had gathered for them when she brought up a curious topic._

"_Lelouch?"_

_Lelouch hums around the sour taste of fruity failure in his mouth._

"_You're friends with Suzaku, aren't you?"_

_Lelouch starts to choke – isn't there a rule about not eating while lying down?_

"_What?" he rasps._

"_I'm not really sure how it came up, but Suzaku told me about living with you and Nunnally when you were children." She smiles, "He told me about how the three of you became friends."_

_Lelouch swallows, now sitting upright with his hand around his neck, face pale with death ghosting through him._

"…_Oh, yeah. We were friends."_

_Her pink eyebrows crease lightly, the shadows from the fire stretching haunting shapes over her soft features._

"_You're not still friends?"_

_Seems Suzaku took the precautions to not inform his fair princess about her siblings' whereabouts and welfare and that he has frequent contact with them – not that Lelouch expects he did or would._

_Lelouch grins ironically, "I guess I should hope we still are."_

_If only she really knew…_

"…_But you knew each other really well, didn't you? He said you were both each other's first best—well, __real__ friends."_

_He nods, picking at the large, premature berry, "Yeah, we were pretty close. I never had a relationship like that with anyone before."_

_Lelouch's fingers falter when he reconsiders what he just said…_

_Is it just him or did that sound kind of… __gay__?_

"_I see…" is all she says before the fire fusses next to them, splintering the quiet with a hot static of cracks and hisses for several moments._

_Fizzle-_pop_._

Pop-_crackle._

_Sizzle-_pop_._

"_Say, Lelouch…?"_

"_What?" He asks, biting into more of this mocking sustenance._

"_You wouldn't know what type of girls he likes, would you?"_

_Lelouch chokes again, this time alarmingly enough to make Euphemia scuttle closer to him and smack his back – which, incidentally, is a very __counterproductive__ act._

"_WHAT?" He finally coughs after the fruity flesh dislodged from his throat – he needs to be more careful about when he takes his bites around Euphemia's chatty mouth!_

"_I'm just wondering…" She twists her dress skirt timidly._

_Lelouch, blue from a second scare of suffocation and red from, well __not__ from embarrassment, considers his answer._

_Obviously the only way to answer this question is with honesty._

"_No, I don't know what type of girl he likes."_

_Technically, that's not a lie. __Girls__ are never a strong topic of discussion between him and Suzaku, at least never in that sense._

"_Oh…" she says with downcast eyes…_

—Ah, so that's it. Lelouch must have been denser than he thought, but he must be improving in order to piece it all together without it being explained to him.

"Suzaku has become a dear friend. I don't want anything to happen to him if I can help it…" she meekly presents her case but Lelouch is way ahead of her.

Euphemia has feelings for Suzaku – it's so obvious!

This Special Zone is more than an olive branch; it's a safe haven where Euphemia can protect those she loves while at the same time helping others – her knowledge of Suzaku's pregnancy has also undoubtedly given her extra determination. While Lelouch was trying to drive the threat out of his nest, Euphemia used it to her advantage to build a new one right in Britannia's own backyard. It is a very clever move on her part – risky, but clever – yet it doesn't mean that their lives or relationships can be mended to what they were before everything was ripped apart and there's no telling how smoothly this whole affair will come to life.

…Well, if there's one thing Lelouch knows how to do, it's how to make things _work_, and with his intelligence and striking charisma he's confident he can make everything fall nicely into place. This Special Zone may even serve Lelouch's plans more than he initially thought, or at least provide some shelter until he can adjust to this drastic weather change on the battle field.

But it's going to take a lot of work…

A prideful laugh bubbles from Lelouch's mouth, "And Cornelia?"

"It's not like we'll never see each other," Euphemia says, trying to sound rational and sturdy in spite of the undertone of discontent flattening her voice.

Lelouch grins at her naïve devotion despite knowing that he's left Nunnally alone many a night to further his Zero goals.

"You're such an idiot," he says. "A total moron."

Kind of like another person he knows…

Her powder-blue eyes waver, "Well, I've never been able to beat you at study or at play, but…"

Lelouch glances at her and then leers at himself, "It's not how I envisioned it, but I really will have gotten all I want. When I think about it, you were Euphie long before you were Sub-Viceroy or the Third Princess."

"If I'm just regular, old Euphie, will you help me?" she asks, adopting a very serious tone that isn't much like her and extends a hand to him.

His violet eyes slide over her hand, holding a pause as if waiting for _anything_ to crash into the room and stop him from what he's about to do.

But nothing does.

(What? No Orange-Boy?)

"You were my most worthy opponent," he admits to her in sincerity as he grasps her hand. "And in your usual, rash Euphie fashion, you've beaten me. You win."

The ex-princess stares at the ex-prince with starry eyes glittering in astonishment.

"We'll figure out a way to make this Special Administrative Zone or yours work. But I'm not going to be your subordinate."

"Of course not!" she laughs again.

Lelouch smiles at her earnest eyes, feeling both lighter and heavier with this Special Administrative Zone sitting on his shoulders.

"There is an audience awaiting us," he says as he fetches his mask.

Euphemia nods ecstatically, "Shall we go then, _partner?_"

"No… I, think I need a moment. Go ahead without me."

"Are you sure? Wouldn't it be better if we walked out on stage together?"

"Never underestimate the power of suspense," Lelouch cockily replies. "Zero is partial to dramatic entrances, you see…"

She giggles quietly at him one more time.

"Oh, fine. But don't take too long. Japan is waiting for you!"

His smug half-smile watches her leave while his lungs heave a heavy sigh once she's gone. One swampy, glove-clad hand flattens on the console as he takes a moment to breathe while the beginning of perspiration on his hairline chills as hasty thoughts pummel his brain.

What has he just done?

Did he just make an empty sacrifice?

…But won't Suzaku be happy? And safe?

And Nunnally? And the baby?

Was this really the right thing to do?

Lelouch glances at his mask, at the way Zero's faceless surface is gleaming at him as if judging him, but he sees himself in that dark reflection, at the violet-eyed boy who always stares back at him, and somehow the oxygen he inhales doesn't feel so thick.

He doesn't have the liberty of time to stress and regret right now – Japan is waiting for him.

Not Area Eleven.

_Japan_.

(His _home_.)

Lelouch makes the quick order for his surrounding troops to fall back for the time being while pulling in a select few (Kallen, Ohgi, Tohdoh) to join him once the stage ceremony is finished and then hides inside Zero's mask as he strides to reunite with his sister. He pushes all the impending stress to the back of his mind, including whatever the _hell_ just happened with his eye and if he should finally bother C.C. about it, and if she'll bother to actually _enlighten him_.

•-•

The Special Administrative Zone went off without a hitch (or a bang) with Zero and Princess Euphemia as equals and colleagues, setting the example for the change they want to see in the world. It was a significant moment in history and a day that many will likely retell to younger generations for years to come…

Which is all well and good, but there's still one giddy part of Milly's brain that cannot be distracted from the trap under the table as the club watches the news huddled together in the student council room. Perhaps if something had gone awry her attention would be undivided on the disaster at hand, but she's had the great fortune to make sparing her energy unnecessary.

One's great fortune is another's tragedy, as the law of the Universe goes.

The suspense is bottling up inside her, though, as she can't help but grow impatient—

_Who lost the book and when are they going to hurry up and come get it!_

—but Milly knows that hunting takes a cool head, so she will wait as _patiently_ as _possible_ no matter how long it takes.

…But it better happen _soon_, damn it!

•-•

An unmasked Zero is tending to the fainted witch in the private quarters granted to him as co-collaborator in this utopia. The room is dark as he dabs a damp, cool cloth over her forehead, over the mark on her skin that he's only inspected up close once before, in a dank cave where he spoke her true name for the first and only time… Even though he doesn't think he should, he feels a bit guilty about studying the shimmering brand, typically concealed by the lock of her electric green hair, without her consent or knowledge, almost as if he's trying to catch her naked.

That is why he is slightly startled when she stirs under his tender hand.

C.C.'s eyes peer up at him as cleanly and crisply as ever, staring at him like she knows something he doesn't – which is all too true, considering her existence – and Lelouch is sure to mirror that gaze if only because of his pride.

"You were passed out on the ground alongside Suzaku and the other guards," Lelouch says coolly if a bit gravely as he continues to press the cloth to her forehead. "I don't know what happened, but considering the circumstances, I don't think we'll be in any real trouble. I still suggest you stay away from Suzaku as much as possible and that goes double for—"

"You didn't need to do this." the dull blade of her voice cuts him off, her warm hand curving around his. "You seem to have forgotten that I don't require medical attention."

_Typical_.

Both interrupting him and changing the subject.

Lelouch knows he isn't much better, however, so he lets it slide for now. There will be plenty of time to order her around later and have her not listen.

So very _typical_.

"I know," he says in a slight huff, draping the cloth across her forehead. "You seem to have forgotten kindness."

A tiny twist of that peculiar something twitches over her features again – a faint flicker of wry amusement this time? Lelouch can't be sure, but it's as suspicious as it is brief and the next thing he knows she's suddenly touching his face with fingertips that are too gentle and sensitive for her character and his personal comfort (eerily reminding him of mother's touch, but maybe that's just the stress and his yearning that's getting to him…). They trace softly around his left eye behind the curtain of his hair while she wears the usual mask of her plain expression once again.

"…Good job," there's a light note of pride striking her otherwise mild tone. "You kept your Geass from consuming you for the time being even with your distraction."

_For the time being…?_

"Is that what happened?" Lelouch lets out a quiet and shallow sigh, raising his head from her touch. "You should have warned me. Who knows what disaster could have been created if I wasn't able to control it."

She doesn't look the least bit sorry, and she doesn't sound it, either, "I have warned you."

Lelouch can already feel his eye screaming to twitch.

"I mean _specifically_. You really are useless, aren't you?" he spits at her darkly, trying to distance himself from the abnormal encounter of vulnerability he feels creeping hotly through his blood, aroused by her touch.

"Perhaps…" a corner of C.C.'s lips quirk in a weak grin, as if trying to mock him or herself; either way, Lelouch isn't amused and ignores it with a cross of his arms.

"Is something like this going to happen again?" Lelouch is thinking of Mao, how his Geass not only overwhelmed him but spread to his other eye. Can the same be true to a person who conquers their Geass? By growing more powerful, does that mean it will still spread…?

Her grin broadens before she removes the cloth form her head and sits up on the couch in an overly casual stretch of time that ends with an offhanded shrug.

"You're the first contractor I've had who hasn't become corrupted or hasn't failed me in some way before this point."

Lelouch narrows his eyes.

All her practiced avoidance to give him a cut and dry answer tells him is that there's something she's _not_ _telling him_, he's certain – especially with that "for the time being" bit. Maybe she isn't lying exactly, but it's doubtful that she wouldn't know something this important and he can't imagine why she wouldn't reveal it to him. Luckily for her the hour of night is fast approaching, leaving him strapped for time and he's already too drained from battling his Geass and Euphemia to tempt a headache. He of course informs her of this as he stands, returning his chair to the desk—

"So you decided to play along with the little princess." C.C.'s voice is breezy but there's no mistaking the taste of a question in her voice to hear his explanation.

Lelouch grabs his mask from the table, looking at the dark reflection of himself he always find there, choosing to leave _her_ voice a stranded sound like she often does to his.

"It's because of the pregnancy, isn't it? And Nunnally?" In the end, however, she reads him well enough to make his responses redundant – or maybe it all really is just that obvious. "What about the vendetta against your father? Your mother? Surely you're not giving up your little quest so easily."

"You're certainly asking a lot of questions," he serenely neglects to properly answer her, rather enjoying being on _this_ side of the conversation for once. "And you sound a little disappointed. Or am I wrong?" he pulls the collar of his turtleneck up over the smirk laced to is lips.

C.C.'s lips curve up slightly too, acknowledging his tongue-in-cheek.

"There's never a dull moment around you, that's for sure. Don't know what I'd do if your story goes stale."

"Stale?" Lelouch adorns Zero's mask with a sarcastic, merry tip of his head, "I don't think you'll have to worry about that for a while. And it will be especially exciting for you if you don't watch your toes around the Britannian military. We may be under a truce in this Zone but that doesn't mean they're to be trusted – no doubt they assume the same about us. And the last thing I need is for any of them to _recognize_ you."

"Don't worry," C.C. stands, languidly falling into step behind him as he walks to the door, "I won't bother your little boyfriend or anyone else. It's much more fun to bother you."

Lelouch represses a sigh, stopping at the door.

What is it with women wanting to harass him?

Whether it was in Pendragon or here in Tokyo, these pesky females are inescapable.

He'll probably never understand why straight guys, like Rivalz, pine for them so much.

"C.C. I'm serious. What's it worth to keep you hidden at our head quarters?"

She lifts an eyebrow at him – but he already knows the price.

"All the pizza I want – and none of that frozen stuff. It's only good fresh."

"Perhaps you'd like it if I hired a private chef to satisfy your pizza lust."

"Oh my, Lelouch. You _really_ know how to talk a girl, don't you?"

Lelouch smirks—

"Which is surprising, considering your apparent preference for the _Y_ chromosome."

—Lelouch's eye twitches.

_Rotten females…_

•-

-•

An annoying alarm clock tears Lelouch from sleep—

Which is odd considering he didn't set it—

Odder yet, he isn't the one who silences it.

Lelouch is facing the wall, drowsily aware of the body groaning quietly from behind him as it shifts.

The sound is distinctly Suzaku.

Lelouch looks over his shoulder at the brown-haired bed-head yawning and stretching in the morning light, who returns the stare with an _annoyingly_ pleasant expression.

_Morning people…_

Lelouch rubs his eyes, "What time did you come home?"

"Oh, late last night," Suzaku replies quietly in respect for Lelouch's slow-waking nature. "You were asleep."

"Yeah…" Lelouch sluggishly flops over to face Suzaku. "You said you'd be with Euphie for the long haul. I expected you would still be with her last night."

"Normally I would be, but I'm not in a position to test my limits anymore." Suzaku gestures to his stomach, a chummy grin on his lips that's much too chummy for the hour. "So, Euphemia—I mean, _Euphie,_ sent me home to get 'proper rest' because crashing on an office couch or in the barracks for another night didn't count to her."

Lelouch smirks tiredly, "So she's keeping an eye on you, then?"

"That's one way of putting it." Suzaku leers dryly. "She's practically as naggy as you are! It must be a family gene."

Lelouch chuckles lightly, "I'm glad to hear it. At least I know I can count on her to nag you in the right direction."

Green eyes roll with a jaded sigh.

"Yeah, just great. All I needed was another over-dramatic mother hen clucking at me like I'm made of glass or something. I'm promise I'm not going to shatter at the slightest hint of pressure."

Lelouch is more than amused by Suzaku's pouting—

In fact, it's downright _adorable_.

Adorable enough to _corrupt_.

Lelouch caresses Suzaku's cheek with his fingertips, his lips touching a close relative to a smirk as he pulls the crabby boy over to obtain something he had been denied after their rooftop dispute. Suzaku sinks willingly into the kiss and Lelouch's control, sharing their morning-breath in a cloud of ignorant desire dusted with sleep and groggy perceptions as he slinks fingers through messy chocolate hair. Lelouch fists his hand in frizzy, brown curls, half wondering why Suzaku is complying so easily.

Only half-wondering because, _obviously_, his _seducing magic_ is at work.

"I know I don't have to tell you that I appreciate it," Lelouch murmurs sincerely into Suzaku's lips, to which the brunet makes another eye-roll, to which Lelouch smiles. "It has been days since I last saw you."

Suzaku sort of moans and if he were standing Lelouch imagines he'd be staring right at his fidgeting feet.

"And?" he tries on a grin of repression over the various shades of guilt clouding his eyes but it's still obvious to them both that he's avoiding the subject of their last confrontation. "Were you getting _lonely?_"

"That's one way of putting it."—Lelouch's lips bend up deviously—"Another way of putting it would be going into seahorse withdrawals…"

Suzaku's mouth drops the forced act for a sincere smile full of teeth that are ajar to let out the happy hops of quiet laughter as Lelouch descends on his neck; kissing, lapping, and nibbling at Japanese flesh that doesn't taste the least bit fishy.

"It's good to know you love me for my _body_," jokes the younger boy in a roll of chuckles as his fingers weave through the threads of ebony hair.

Lelouch pauses, looking at Suzaku with a seriously lifted eyebrow, "You mean you didn't know that already?"

Suzaku doesn't miss a beat, tugging on Lelouch's hair and trying to look offended with jaw-dropped expression that doesn't stop him from being pushed onto his back by the Britannian boy who kisses him deeply again.

The obnoxious, demanding reminder from a diligent alarm clock disrupts their mushy exchange, but Lelouch merely slaps at the evil appliance until it's switched _off_ this time (because if Lelouch has one masochistic tendency, it would be the snooze button) without unlocking from Suzaku's lips – he'll get up when he's _damn well_ ready to! Soft snickers seep from Suzaku's mouth at the stubbornness Lelouch operates with before his brief amusement is silenced as swiftly as the wailing alarm clock, but with a tongue instead of a hand.

"You're in a very good mood, even for a morning person," Lelouch says as he pulls away from Suzaku's lips, being sure to leave the rest of his thought one that stays in his head: _considering the last time we spoke_…

"Things went well yesterday," Suzaku replies simply, his leafy eyes fluttering to Lelouch's ever-fascinating white blanket that's lying over them.

"So I heard," he murmurs wryly as he rubs his thumb against Suzaku's cheek, wondering if the smooth course of Zero's actions serve as an apology or if it simply cleansed Suzaku's mind of the whole ordeal.

"I'm…" a fingertip slides to and fro on Lelouch's clothed arm in a diffident gesture, "I'm glad Zero joined us."

A self-satisfied line shapes Lelouch's lips into an understated smile.

For the first time in Zero's short life, he's managed to please Suzaku.

What a feat.

Lelouch _will_ interpret this as an accepted apology.

"That so?" Lelouch asks casually, keeping his voice as dry of his overflowing conceit as he can. "I thought you didn't like or trust him."

Suzaku shrugs, eyes now entertained by the collar of Lelouch's blue pajama shirt.

"Euphie seems to trust him—" he shakes his head, perhaps perceiving the trap he nearly bumbled right into. "That doesn't matter now. Since he joined us that means we can get more accomplished together than we did apart and there shouldn't be any more fighting. I said that I would stay by Euphie's side through all of this and I intend to honor my word."

Which also means Suzaku should be safe for awhile.

Unless some other overconfident fat-cat (_Schneizel_) should want to _borrow_ him or if something _more_ inconvenient happens.

Lelouch is looking at _you_, Chinese Federation.

"So I suppose that means you'll steer clear of the battlefield for now?" Lelouch chooses to ask, wishing Suzaku could promise as much but he isn't gullible enough to believe that possible – and with Euphemia no longer being a princess of Britannia, Suzaku is no longer a knight, which means he can't rely on her authority to protect him any longer.

Lelouch wonders if Suzaku knows about her situation yet…

"I've been assigned to overseeing the Zone as my top priority. So As long as nothing prompts Lancelot into battle, I should be out of action."

In other words: as long as _Zero_ doesn't try anything.

This isn't enough to please Lelouch or really assure much of anything, but it's a start.

After all, from his point of view, he holds Suzaku's safety in his own hands.

Lelouch nods, growing tired of this kind of talk at this _ungodly_ hour, so he decides to change the subject.

As abruptly as possible.

"You know, if you count back six weeks, roughly, that would mean our small fry was conceived the first time we had sex."

Suzaku takes a moment to consider Lelouch's words, obviously not having thought about this yet or trying to catch up the topic change.

Lelouch is going to guess it's both.

"…Yeah, I guess you're right. What do you think that means?"

"Means?" Lelouch asks with a curious eyebrow.

"I'm saying that maybe _small fry_ was conceived through the power of love."

Lelouch stares and waits for a punch-line that never comes.

Again.

Seems he'll have to take the bait this time since it's clear Suzaku is _not_ making a joke.

Wouldn't want to repeat the same mistake – Suzaku wasn't pleased about that the first time.

"…You're telling me you think our consummation of love was so epic that you became pregnant as a result?"

"They say true love is a powerful force…" a bashful shrug lifts Suzaku's shoulders as a sheepish grin tugs his lips, "Is that so unreasonable?"

_As unreasonable as the seahorse syndrome or super sperm._

To think all that time Suzaku wasted in the military could have been spent on his education…

It's good to know that Britannian soldiers are as dumb as they are strong.

Really, it's somehow comforting.

For a moment, Lelouch isn't sure if he should _dignify_ that with a response.

He remembers that night well, of course, and it was a fast impulse of awkward movements and nervous breaths as they quickly learned they had no clue what they were doing. Conversely, it was also something worth treasuring because it was their coming together (…), the first time their bodies did all the talking as decidedly sappy passion swept them away to the relationship they now have. It was more than just sex, definitely, but what Suzaku is implying is just so… _so stupid!_ Even for _Suzaku!_

At least the seahorse thing _tried_ to make sense!

"It is." Lelouch decides to respond, not even bothering to argue the absurdity of male pregnancy through _true love_ because he doesn't want to fight with Suzaku about something stupid _again_ – because then who is the _real_ fool in that situation? Instead Lelouch will take an entirely _different path_ with this golden nugget from Suzaku's fantastical mind: "Especially if you _lied_ to me about being a virgin."

It takes a fair amount of time before Lelouch's brash comment sinks into Suzaku's thick skull, but when it does he begins to sputter like an ancient automobile struggling to start and the expression that contorts his face is too funny for words.

"J-j-j-just wh-what are you-you implying?"

Lelouch strokes his chin mockingly, "Or maybe you're like the Virgin Mary… but with _aliens_ instead of God, right?"

"That _isn't_ funny!"

"I wonder what kind of prodigy you'll unleash upon the world. Or maybe I should fear the possibility of an anti-Christ?"

"Lelouch!"

"Either way," papa bear says as he continues to ignore mama bear, "I hope it doesn't burst from your chest because then I'm stuck raising the little spawn all alone. Although, if it's not mine, I guess I don't have any _real_ obligation to take responsibility."

"_Lelouch!_" Suzaku adamantly howls, arming himself with a pillow.

Lelouch just laughs—

_Laughs_—

_LAUGHS_—

Through Suzaku's mild tantrum of unintelligible sounds and weak pillow attacks, content that he's scared the darkness away from Suzaku's face once again. He watches the stormy features of his best friend light up in a playful retaliation before grabbing the soldier's waist and forcing him to surrender by capturing him with a deep, encompassing kiss. This luminous joy might have been at the expense of Zero and his Black Knights, their cause, but Lelouch will always take one for the team to keep Suzaku, and Nunnally, happy in the end if he must.

Who knows, maybe this detour in his rebellion will lead to a better place.

A better _tomorrow_.

* * *

Ho-ho-ho~! What do you think of that? (Unoriginal? Sure, a little. Or maybe a lot…) I don't want to harp on the obvious details like you _didn't_ just read the chapter (shame on you if you just skipped to the end!), so feel free to ask any questions you might have! The plot didn't leave much room for crack… but I promise next chapter will definitely try harder to give you your fix! So prepare yourself, because in chapter six we jump to October and things start to get stupid—eruh, I mean, cracktastic!

I'm also thinking about serving some more _lemonade_ next chapter… I've definitely got some ideas concerning Halloween (heh), but this will mean making the chapter _longer_… How does everyone feel about lengthy chapters like chapter three?


	6. Costume Play

Sorry this is late *grovels*. Aside from this chapter being more difficult and longer to write than I thought it would be, I did a lot of reconsidering… which led to re-writing around outside distractions… So, yes, I totally fail. I just want all of you to know I feel guilty about it and that not a moment goes by wherein I'm _not_ thinking about this fic. Also, let me just say that this story has reached a level of unexpected epic-ness for me (meaning it's now my big, proverbial baby), and that makes me more obsessive and stressed than usual – which really saps my writing juices DX

So, thanks to everyone for the love. It helps to remember it when I'm suffering writing struggles. …I didn't mean for this chapter to be so long, but hopefully you'll enjoy it so much that you won't even notice…? There's even some **lemonade**~!

* * *

_"No one will dance with me. I think it's this dress. I told them white would make me look fat." Senator Kevin Keeley [in drag]_ from_ The Birdcage_

•-•-•-•-•-6

Ambiguous

Costume Play

Suzaku is trying his best to fight temptation.

No matter how hard he applies his concentration to the list of math problems in front of him he is incapable of maintaining any focus whatsoever thanks to the bored boy beside him. All Suzaku wanted to do was start digging himself out of all the schoolwork that's been piling up around him due to his _non_-scholastic duties and he thought that a study-date, of sorts, with Lelouch was a great idea – he'd be able to spend time with Lelouch and also have access to all that brilliance.

Looking back, Suzaku wishes he could kick himself out of that gullibility.

He should have known something was amiss when the lecherous lad was the one to suggest this activity in the first place.

Lelouch obviously never had _any_ intention of studying or doing work.

(Or maybe Suzaku is too thick-headed to see Lelouch's invitation for a grope-fest when it's offered.)

So here they are well into the night on Lelouch's bed, Suzaku leaning against the bed rail with his knees up while Lelouch lies on his stomach, dressed in their bedtime clothes – or in Suzaku's case, a white t-shirt and his boxers – as the workload tapers less and less with each passing minute. Lelouch isn't even trying to _pretend_ he's working anymore, his open book and papers abandoned so severely that they've migrated precariously close to the edge of the bed while he entertains himself with Suzaku's thigh. His fingers have been skating up and down the underside of the soldier's leg for a good while now; albeit moderately enough at first for Suzaku to not really mind, rather fond of the seemingly idle caress. However, once he pulled up his knees as a makeshift desk for his book, those dangerous digits snatched the chance to be more _adventurous_. They've gone from absent affection to determined desire as they attempted to sneakily but shamelessly infiltrate his underwear from both the _front_ and the _rear_. Countless times Suzaku has purged the invasion, burning through his playful patience from sly smiles to rigid rejections to the point that he no longer finds Lelouch's persistence cute or endearing.

"Would you _cut it out?_" Suzaku finally fusses, swatting at Lelouch's hand. "I'm trying to get some work done – and you should too!"

"Suzaku," Lelouch says with a growing half-smirk, "I don't do my schoolwork in the first place for a _reason_."

Suzaku huffs, cheeks indirectly pinched red by lewd fingers, "Well _I'm_ not going to neglect my assignments so at least leave me alone."

"But you'll neglect me?" the older boy asks with a wilting expression that's an obvious ticket for a guilt-trip Suzaku isn't going to take.

"That's right," he answers offhandedly as he scribbles on his math homework—

"You can't mean that." Lelouch insists like a snake with an apple as he slithers his fingers fully over Suzaku's thigh.

"I do."

It's a long shot, but maybe _ignoring_ the problem will just make it disappear.

He can't say it's worked in the past, but it's not like _fighting_ with Lelouch – in any situation – has ever gotten him anywhere, anyway.

When it comes to Lelouch, taking the path of least resistance is always a wise idea.

"So cruel." Lelouch continues to smother his touch over Suzaku's skin with a carnivorous curve carving his lips, "Or are you trying to play hard to get?"

Suzaku clenches his jaw – he's already lost count of _how many times_ he's had to read this word problem – and _ignores_, among other things, the burning on his cheeks that wants to travel _south_.

"If that's your game, you're succeeding," Lelouch murmurs flirtatiously as he begins to press light kisses to the muscled appendage in his grasp.

"It's not a game!" Suzaku spouts with a push of his leg. "I just want to do my class work!"

Never to be deterred, Lelouch grips Suzaku's leg with both hands as he kisses teasingly again, one of them prowling the underside to attempt, _not for the first time_, igniting a fire in the soldier's shorts.

"Well, don't you think you've earned a break?"

"No breaks!" Suzaku tries to keep his voice from growling like his stomach after eating Cécile's culinary failures, _once again_ wrenching a hand out of his shorts. "There's too much to do."

"Come on…" the sable-haired boy returns to his silky tone, using that serpent voice that nearly wraps right around Suzaku—

But Nunnally is just next door.

"No."

"Just for a little—"

"No."

"Not even—?"

"No."

"What about—?"

"No."

"But—"

"_No!_" Suzaku nearly yells, tearing himself completely away from Lelouch's clingy clutches by swinging his legs over the side of the bed to leave his back facing the insistent teen. "How many times do I have to say it?"

Lelouch huffs with a furrow of his brow and a glimmer in his eye as he props up on one hand, "What's your _problem?_"

Suzaku casts a flat look over his shoulder at Lelouch's insensitive inquisition.

_Real nice_.

"No means no," the brunet utters tersely. "If I say 'no,' you back off."

Lelouch stares for a heated second – those viper violets don't need fangs to bite.

But it isn't like _Suzaku_ should feel guilty.

…Even so, Suzaku can't stand that almost-glare.

"You know that's not what I meant." Lelouch's words practically melt from his molten mouth. "What's keeping you from me?"

Suzaku can't help but think that is a strange way to word the situation, yet it's also rather… sweet.

For Lelouch.

He looks away with a shy shrug, "I just don't want to do it tonight, that's all."

"I'm not asking to 'do it' with you." Lelouch laughs slightly under his breath, his boiling temper evaporating as if it never existed, and tugs at the bottom of Suzaku's shirt. "But now I know what's _really_ on your mind…"

Suzaku throws his eyes back at Lelouch sharply, ignoring the rouge roasting his cheeks.

"You and I both know we'll only end up having… uh…"—Suzaku's mind trips over the thought of Nunnally's accidental eavesdropping again and wants to avoid any keywords (as if she wouldn't know a code-word when she hears one)—"_relations_ – it always happens."

The older boy is wearing an amused grin, "What's the matter? All the sudden you can't say 'sex'?"

"I hate talking to you," he mutters as he slaps his book closed – not like he's getting any work done.

"We don't always end up having _relations_," Lelouch continues, edging closer to Suzaku and snaking a hand around his waist to his stomach. "It's been a while since the last time we've done anything at all." his words caress the skin of Suzaku's neck like a hot current that feeds the warmth on his cheeks and taunts the lust in his loins, his nerves being teased by a scatter plot of light kisses.

"I know…" Suzaku breathes, a weakness to his partner's touch hollowing his resolve – he never knew he could be so susceptible, _controlled_, by this physical craving – and he is _well aware_ that if Lelouch ever connects their lips, he'll be a goner.

Suzaku knows just as well as Lelouch that there hasn't been any _real_ time for their physical relationship – the last time they made love was the weekend before Euphemia announced the Zone, which was almost three weeks ago. That wouldn't be so bad if every minute wasn't booked between them with nowhere to meet half way. It's worse now that the Zone wants to dominate everything within its reach, and if Suzaku isn't meeting various, often bureaucratic, demands there it's Ashford that's impatiently awaiting his attention back here, and of course Lelouch isn't far behind. (As it stands, he's been spending _more_ time with the aloof Zero than the over-bearing Lelouch, and while Suzaku is slowly growing accustomed to the terrorist's presence, he much prefers his best friend – even when he's too horny to take no for an answer.) With rushing off right after the student council meeting and coming home too late to spend any decent time with Lelouch, perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to just indulge _a little_ while they have the spare time…

"Let's just fool around a little…" Suzaku's head is already lolling back into the creeping scent of toothpaste that grows stronger the closer Lelouch's lips peck to his jaw, a pleading desire sparking under his skin is flickering desperately towards the hands roaming his body. They're dedicated to sweeping Suzaku out to sea as they coast over his abdomen and chest, causing a light ripple of fuzzy excitement to drown his nerves. The touch bleeds through Suzaku's clothes as the heated yearning to feel bare hands palm his body and spread his legs begins to pool in his groin like boiling water pouring from a teapot. Suzaku doesn't want to let himself be washed away so easily, but the steel of his reluctance is rusting as a warm body leans against him with promise—"And if it progresses to something _more_…"—and fingertips trickle over his crotch—

Suzaku's eyes snap open and he vaults up from the bed—

Causing Lelouch to fall over the side, face first into the wood flooring that's as hard as it is cold… like Suzaku's rejection.

"_Nothing_ should be _progressing_ _anywhere!_" Suzaku adamantly reminds, turning around to watch Lelouch painstakingly collect himself from his spill, a red splash brandishing his furiously wrinkled forehead.

"I'm beginning to get the _impression_"—he rubs at his wounded head, and maybe his pride—"that there's a _specific_ reason for your disinterest."

Oh, sure. Just because Suzaku declines the _honor_ of sleeping with _Almighty Himself_, it must mean there's a _reason_ and not that Suzaku simply _isn't_ in the mood.

…All right, so there _is_ a reason…

And, sure, if it wasn't for Nunnally (not to say she _is_ to blame) Suzaku would most likely be naked and breathless underneath Lelouch by now…

But Lelouch doesn't have to be so _conceited_ about it!

Suzaku proceeds to place his book on Lelouch's desk – it's late, and he's tired, and pregnant, perhaps it's time to call it a night.

"Listen, I'm just not feeling up to it tonight." Right, so, it _is_ true that if these walls were sound-proof there wouldn't be much standing between Suzaku and him getting thoroughly pounded into the mattress (except maybe Lelouch's stamina), but _because_ these walls are not sound-proof and a very precious person is slumbering next door, it dampens Suzaku's desire. The last thing he wants is to be thinking of _Nunnally_ while _her brother_ makes it his mission to boldly go where no man has gone before, until they reach infinity and _beyond_.

Not only is that unromantic, it's plain disturbing.

"Are you feeling unwell?"

"Don't worry, I'm fine," Suzaku says with a soft, and what he hopes is, reassuring smile. "I'm just tired. I want to rest."

Lelouch doesn't look like he buys the story Suzaku is selling – probably still hung up on the _possibility_ that Suzaku could be sick and lying about it – but he accepts it with a faint nod and begins to shuffle his deserted schoolwork together to clear the bed.

"I'm sorry." Suzaku takes Lelouch's book and papers for him, adding them to the pile on his desk before slipping under the covers. "I know things have been, uh, stagnant between us lately."

"You don't need to apologize, Suzaku. It's not like I don't understand." that pale face is shaped by a kind smile as hands drape blankets over the both of them. "Some other time."

_Who knows when that could be_, Suzaku thinks guiltily, his lips deflating a bit from their soft edge to a droopy remorse at the thought that he might be letting the only chance they'll have for awhile slip through his fingers.

"Maybe we can just… lay here, together?" Suzaku suggests coyly as he turns away from Lelouch, trying to lift his lips again with a quirk of one corner.

"…You want to lie together?" Lelouch makes it sound like Suzaku just asked to pour applesauce down the front of his cotton pajama pants.

"Yeah, you know, close to each other under the covers and touching… until we fall asleep…"

Lelouch stares as blankly as Suzaku has ever seen the intelligent boy stare and he simpers.

Lelouch isn't getting it.

It's adorable in a way, but he'd never voice this to Lelouch.

Suzaku rather likes having his head connected to the rest of his body – better yet, he rather likes it when Lelouch connects _their_ bodies and wouldn't want to risk losing that.

The Nunnally matter aside…

"So you want to just go to sleep?" Lelouch asks with a quizzical knot between his dark eyebrows – Suzaku can virtually see that Britannian brain scrambling to solve this riddle.

He smiles a bit more pityingly than he knows Lelouch would tolerate if he wasn't so baffled by the request.

"I'm asking you to cuddle."

What he's really asking for is to be held.

Lelouch blinks a few times before the light comes on in his head and shines through his eyes, "…Oh."

"Is that alright with you?" the younger boy starts to settle into the bed, nestling against his _prince charming_ before an answer is heard – he doesn't expect Lelouch will reject him as he has yet to do so. He's too willing to please, to make Suzaku happy, and cuddling is one small request that Lelouch will never admit he enjoys fulfilling.

Those clairvoyant eyes quickly flick over Suzaku's movements and the moment like amethyst gems tumbling from a jewel case and he rests a hand on his friend's hip.

"Sure. If that's what you want."

Suzaku nods slightly, "Good night." kissing Lelouch's befuddled lips before reaching to switch off the bedside lamp and snuggling down in the dark against Lelouch's befuddled body like a pair of spoons in a drawer.

He can hear Lelouch smirk as a thin, warm body presses against his back and that willowy arm winds around him in a cuddling coil.

"I cuddle with you now, you owe me later."

•-

-•

When Lelouch said Suzaku would be in debt for cuddling he suspected it would be something repayable only in bed.

He was wrong.

So very wrong.

"I know I agreed to this, but…" Suzaku's voice fades into the mirror as his eyes unwillingly feast upon the unappetizing… spectacle of his reflection.

He doesn't have anything against the colours olive green and white, or frills of ornate lace, polka-dots, pantyhose and ladies shoes. He doesn't have anything against flowing blond wigs that look like a fountain of sun-rays, nor does he have anything against dark, eyeglass frames the shapes of cat eyes…

"But what?" Lelouch asks at Suzaku's disgruntled expression.

…Suzaku _does_, however, have something against combining them… on his body… in an awful olive green dress fluffed with all that white lace (a matching sash around his waist, of course) and spattered with those white polka-dots. As if the dress wasn't bad enough on its _own_, he's got this unflattering white pantyhose clinging to his legs like an unwanted second skin with shoes that look _exactly_ like the issued pair for Ashford's girls except they're green, to match. The same-shade green is tied in bows on both sides of the platinum blond wig and the glasses with their very feminine flair only complete the absurd look, making him look like an overgrown toddler – Suzaku isn't even going to acknowledge the bloomers hiding underneath his dress.

The notion of wearing this disaster in public was daunting, and then Lelouch made it worse by adding the _purse_.

"I don't know about _this_." he tentatively tugs at the knee-length skirt of his lace-trimmed dress – did he mention it has puffy shoulders, too?

"What's wrong with the outfit?"

For Lelouch to ask that question… it makes Suzaku want to ask if the boy has gone blind.

He's turned Suzaku into a loud mess! He should at least be able to _hear_ what's wrong with it!

But if Lelouch can't see the _aesthetic_ abominations maybe he'll see the practical problems…

"First of all: the pantyhose is uncomfortable—"

"The price you pay for beauty," Lelouch interrupts with that smug smirk. "And there's no point in dressing as a girl if you're not going to commit one hundred percent. You need to cover your legs, unless you want to start shaving them. Girls don't have hairy legs so you can't walk around as a girl in a dress with _those_ _hairy things_ exposed. The white actually hides your legs better than I thought it would…"

_Sh-shaving—?_

_Th-those hairy things?_

What kind of obscene logic is that?

"Why can't I just wear pants?" there's a small scrap of annoyance clipped to Suzaku's tone. "Girls wear pants."

"I don't know why you're being difficult about this." Lelouch crosses his arms, that offending purse hanging from his wrist by a spaghetti strap. "You've said before that you're fond of wearing dresses."

"Only _once!_" Suzaku counters with fisted hands and stiff shoulders, whirling around in an olive tornado of frills and artificial hair. "And that was just for fun!"

"This isn't fun?" the other boy questions innocently – Suzaku isn't sure if that's a fake tone or not.

"No. I feel and look ridiculous."

Lelouch's countenance purses into something chiding and disapproving as he places his hands gently on Suzaku's hips, turning them so that he faces the horrid sight of himself again.

"I think you look cute," he amends as softly as his fingers skim Suzaku's cheek, seeming to brush a springy lock of flaxen hair from the boy's face. "It's a bit _Lolita_, I'll admit, but it's a fashionable thing to do at the moment. You'll blend right in."

The fingers on his skin are like a stricken match to Suzaku, forcing his sharp senses to focus on nothing else as it heats a miserable arousal in the pit of his gut that still wants _more_. Those violet eyes burning through him leave him trapped as that slightly husky voice lingers in his ear like a haunting echo—

He can't believe how _easily_ he's being affected by such little attention.

(How easily it's making him forget about his appearance.)

He darts his emerald eyes as far away from Lelouch's reflection as he can, trying to suppress a familiar sensation from colouring his cheeks, trying to deduce if Lelouch is doing this to him on _purpose_.

"How did you even find a dress that fits me?" Suzaku inquires as a distraction, fiddling with the satin sash slung around him.

Better yet, _where_ and _when_ did Lelouch even _buy_ all of this stuff?

"I'm familiar enough with your body to know you're measurements," Lelouch sensibly says as if Suzaku is _dumb_ for asking the question, looking over his creation with critical eyes as he steps back – appearing to not notice the red flood that engulfs his subject's face. "Still, this dress doesn't look quite like I imagined it would, but it's too late to do anything about it now. We need to get to that doctor appointment _lest_ we be late." Lelouch grins at him through the mirror as he suspends the oval, ivory bag next to him, the large pearl-clasp at the center staring right into Suzaku's soul, "Let's not doddle, _Suzuka_."

Suzaku ignores the purse in favor of the strange name, "Suzuka?"

"Well, you can't go by 'Suzaku Kururugi' because then what's the point of the disguise? Although maybe it should be something less… ethnic."

Suzaku isn't even sure of how to respond to that.

"I think something similar in sound to your name would be best, something to trigger your natural response. How about _Susan_ or _Suzanna_, or just _Sue_…?" Lelouch muses aloud as if Suzaku _isn't_ in the room, springing a sudden and complacent smile on him through the mirror. "Or, no, how about sweet, little _Suzie Q_?"

"You're enjoying this too much," Suzaku grumbles lightly with a placid frown drooping underneath his rosy cheeks.

Lelouch smiles at him pleasantly and pats his head, "Whatever you say, _Suzu_."

Said red shade on Suzaku's face turns into an irritated steam wafting from his head, "Just _pick_ a name and _stick_ with it!"

•-•

"It's good to see the two of you again"—Doctor Sanica's neutral expression is marred only by the faint lift of one eyebrow—"…boys. How are you feeling, Suzaku?"

"If you could, Doctor, please call him by his alias: Suzie." Lelouch respectfully requests.

That's right.

Lelouch went with _Suzie Q_ (because it's oh-so adorable).

Once again, a slight lift of her eyebrow, "All right. Suzie, how are you feeling?"

The dolled-up boy is sitting on the paper bed again, back hunched slightly and arms folded over his flat chest as his feet dangle – the shoes having been removed along with his dress to wear the paper robe again as per the nurse's instructions – marginally appeased that he wasn't forced into slinging that absurd purse over his shoulder. However, his pouting has made him the spitting image of a sulking, little girl and so far his glaring attempts to burn the stark-white pantyhose right off his legs have been unsuccessful.

"Like an idiot."

"Isn't that the norm?" Lelouch teases, tugging at the end of his robe.

"Aside from that," she redirects tonelessly and unfazed by the scene in front of her, "have you been experiencing any pain or discomfort?"

Suzaku shifts a little, "No. I don't think so."

The doctor nods, adjusting her white, rubber gloves with unsavory snaps.

"What about nausea? Or constipation? Are you experiencing either of those yet?"

"…No, not yet."

"And your appetite is normal?" she continues to ask attentively as she prepares the ultrasound machine.

"Yes, I guess it is. Um…" Suzaku begins to mumble, catching her sharp eyes.

"What is it? Is there something bothering you?" Immediately the heat of acute attention shoves him under the microscope of Sanica's and Lelouch's eyes at the hint of a threat. "You know that as your doctor I can't help you unless you're completely open and honest with me. You don't need to be embarrassed. I'm a doctor." She adds that last remark as if that should cure all of his humiliated ailments.

Of course it doesn't.

But he appreciates the sentiment.

"Well…" Suzaku shifts again, griping the side of the bed as his feet swing like they'll kick away the unwanted stares. "I'm just wondering why you haven't asked why I'm dressed this way yet. And why do I have to keep wearing this paper thing?"

Lelouch releases his bated breath and rubs at his forehead with the threat being a false alarm whereas Doctor Sanica just stares with her unwavering eyes.

"I don't believe that the way you dress, or why you dress a certain way, is any of my business," she says pragmatically enough to make Suzaku feel foolish for asking. "I only need to care for you and the baby's wellbeing. As to your second point, wearing the gown makes it easier to examine you and it helps to keep your clothes clean – didn't the nurse tell you that?"

Suzaku's mind was too narrowed on his appearance to pay much attention to anything else…

(If he looked as obvious as he felt about cross-dressing.)

And he was deliberating if it would be worth it to trip Lelouch as they walked towards the exam room.

He decided it wasn't.

The mental image alone sufficed.

"Are you going to take another ultrasound?" Lelouch asks.

"Yes. I want to watch this pregnancy as close as possible and I still think it's the best way to do so." Sanica's eyes slide over Suzaku a bit too devilishly for his liking. "Unless _Suzaku_ would be willing to allow some experimental exploration."

Suzaku instantly thinks of the _probing_ notion she mentioned before and it pries his eyes wide open while a certain _other_ part of his body clenches as tightly closed as it possibly can.

She turns away from him with a grin a crook too close to something he's seen shape Milly's lips before – and he's learned to fear that grin, even if not to the same amount as Lelouch.

"Don't worry, _Suzie_." Lelouch pats his shoulder. "She was just joking."

"I never joke," corrects the doctor in a languid tone as she faces Suzaku. "Before we get to that, I'd like to give you another check-up. We'll start by taking your weight. Would you step on the scale for me?" she asks politely, gesturing to the electric box beside the door.

In a considerably awkward moment of pale silence, even Lelouch's smug attitude is snuffed out by the probing prospect once again – if only because it brings the fear that this notion will grow stronger with every mention…

He obediently obliges her, scuttling over and stepping onto the scale, inexplicably curious to what she would do if he disobeyed her. Suzaku won't do that, of course. He plays compliant patient as he undergoes the check-up routine he's been through dozens of times before – anything to make this go smoothly and, more importantly, _quickly_.

It's _amazing_ how uncomfortable pantyhose can be.

He doesn't understand how or why women do it!

The only difference with this check-up is that his stomach is measured – despite thinking it should be more prominent, Doctor Sanica doesn't say anything about his flat tummy, although she does feel the area gently with her hands.

"Just one more item and we can get to the best part of the visit," the Doctor notes with a small smile. "I need to give you a breast exam, so lie back and put—

"But I don't have any!" Suzaku cuts her off with wide eyes, clasping his gown closed with one hand to hide what he claims to be lacking.

"You do, they're just not pronounced." her smile doesn't waver – or maybe that's her patience. "And every mother undergoes this exam. Should I treat you differently because you're a male?"

He doesn't have a rebuttal for that.

"Males are also capable of having breast cancer, isn't that right?" Lelouch's voice is gratingly upbeat, considering his words – almost like he's _trying_ to make this more uncomfortable for Suzaku.

So with his logic, maybe _Lelouch_ should have an exam, too!

"You are correct," Sanica amiably praises like she's in on the attack as well. "But the risk of breast cancer in teens is low. Regardless, it needs to be done."

"_Fine_," Suzaku mutters with a slight frown. "Let's just get it over with."

"Then lie back with your arms over your head, please."

As if adding that _please_ is going to _ease_ anything.

Suzaku leans back with an unsteady sigh, hand still clutching the robe as he catches himself in Lelouch's eyes.

"Your gown needs to be open for this," the doctor coolly tries to coax him.

"Yeah… Lelouch, I don't want you to look."

His eyes bug-out so quickly Suzaku almost expects to see them fall from their sockets, "What?"

"I don't want you to look," Suzaku meagerly argues like a whiny toddler.

"Why?"

"Because it's _weirder_ with you just _standing_ there, _watching!_"

His mouth drops open, "Don't be _ridiculous!_"

"Just turn around!"

"I will _not!_"

"Lelouch," the professional in the room calmly intervenes, "you need to respect your partner's wishes and _not_ just because you don't want to upset a pregnant mother."

The expression Lelouch makes when he loses is not one often seen by Suzaku – actually, so rarely seen, he thought it a mere myth or fantasy like unicorns. But it's real and it's _sweeter_ than any piece of candy Suzaku has ever eaten as if he is literally tasting victory. Perhaps now he understands why Lelouch is always so pleased with himself…

With a not-so mature sigh and roll of his majestic eyes, Lelouch turns his back to them and crosses his arms in another huff.

That's right.

Lelouch isn't the _only_ one who can abuse the Doctor's authority.

Suzaku is smirking triumphantly until the doctor reminds him to peel open his robe and raise his arms. The fleeting moment of victory on his tongue is swallowed like a gulp of medicine and he grabs at Lelouch's arm for comfort once inspecting fingers push around his chest. One of Lelouch's hands promptly fit into his grip like a puzzle piece as Doctor Sanica explains each action, adding more and more pressure to the small circling of her fingertips that work in from the outside. The quick squeeze on his nipples at the end is as startling as it is violating despite her warning him beforehand, his face glowing and his grip on Lelouch's hand pleading for amnesia from this moment.

…Suzaku would rather wear pantyhose _every_ day for the rest of his life than undergo this exam _ever_ again.

Because pantyhose will never ask to molest him.

"All right, the worst is over. You're doing just fine, Suzaku," she says, turning to the ultrasound machine.

"Suzie." Lelouch corrects, sounding like it's his only function as rotates in place.

"Yes, sorry. Suzie is doing well." she faces said boy in drag again with that familiar bottle of gel and hands him a white, papery sheet. "Let's take another look at your baby. You may cover yourself with this if you wish."

Suzaku mutely takes the paper and lies back as his physician heads for the light, feeling his stomach squirm as he makes sure his _private bits_ are safe from wandering eyes underneath the sheet regardless of the fact that his lower half has been on display this entire time – next time he's _definitely_ wearing pants! God only knows how humiliating it is be stuffed into a pair of cotton _bloomers!_

He clutches for Lelouch's hand once the room goes dark, lit only by the dim ultrasound screen. Suzaku is almost surprised his nerves don't show up on the monitor as Doctor Sanica moves the probe over his abdomen, but the chilling fear is heated to excitement when the blurry, distorted shape of the small fry forms on the screen.

"If there was any room for doubt, it's definitely gone now," she comments, just a voice in the darkness as Suzaku's eyes glue to the image.

It doesn't _quite_ look like a baby yet, but the buds of limbs are beginning to show… looking like some sort of balloon animal once she gets a still image and points out just which bubble is what. He feels his heart flutter against his chest as he stares at the screen, awash with so much euphoria he thinks he might cry… Suzaku never would have thought that being a parent could mean _the_ _world_ to him.

"So far so good." Sanica praises, clicking on the screen with a mouse to measure the embryo. "Your baby is growing at a healthy, normal rate with no adverse effects to mommy. Even so, I want Suzaku—"

"Suzie," Lelouch corrects.

Her dark eyes flick to Lelouch briefly, "Yes, _Suzie_, to come in more frequently so I can better monitor and observe him more closely."

"Is there something wrong with the baby?" Suzaku asks, making a worried clench of his hand around Lelouch's.

"No, the two of you appear to be doing just fine, like I said. I just want to make sure it _stays_ that way and intercept any possible problems before they cause harm. You are a special case that needs special attention." In spite of the pleasant sound of her words and her softer expression, it causes Suzaku's heart to fill with heavy dread and sink into his stomach.

"I see…"

Sanica smiles at him and pats his shoulder before busying herself with cleaning Suzaku's stomach before he sits up as she and Lelouch converse, but their voices warp and drift from his ears like he's listening to them under water – submerged in the sudden melancholic mix tainting his overjoyed rush. Suzaku doesn't know what he would do if something kept him from meeting the precious package he's carrying, even if it's only been a short while…

That would be more than unfair.

It would be cruel.

"Have the two of you considered taking any prenatal classes? We offer a variety of courses right here, all taught by trusted colleagues of mine. Even if you don't stay with us for that, I still suggest you take the class. A lot of new parents especially benefit from it."

"…We haven't discussed it," Lelouch answers languidly after glancing at Suzaku's distracted distance.

"It would be a good idea. A lot of expecting parents take them. Some cover everything from the development of your baby to the birthing process, and it can answer any questions you might have and you'll be able to socialize with other parents who have or are experiencing the same things." She seems to double-take, "Well, _some_ things might not apply to _your_ case, but I still highly recommend it."

"It could be better than just reading a bunch of books…" Suzaku half-heartedly joins the conversation, eyes still locked on a fresh printout he was given.

It actually _does_ sound like a good idea.

God knows Lelouch isn't always easy to talk to.

"There's nothing wrong with reading those books," Lelouch defends.

"No, but there's nothing wrong with getting extra help, either." Suzaku speaks with a glum air like a neglected plant sagging in a dark corner – and he's too focused on the bubble baby in his hands to see the worried glint in Lelouch eyes or the concerned crease in his eyebrows.

"Either way, it's early, so you still have some time to decide and look around," the doctor continues. "If you want more information about our services, I can show you after we're done here. Before that, do the two of you have any questions or concerns?"

"Oh yes, I have a question," Lelouch alerts with a lift of one finger. "Would it be permissible for us to continue having sex?"

•-•

"I _can't_ _believe_ you _asked_ her that!" Suzaku storms out of the clinic with Lelouch at his heels and an embarrassed burn on his face, wondering when this mess of an outfit he's wearing will come to life and swallow him whole – to spare him, if nothing else.

(Even though Lelouch effectively distracted Suzaku from his gloomy thoughts, it's _still_ no excuse!)

Is Lelouch going to be like this for _every_ visit?

"I don't see the problem," Lelouch says coolly, his pace oddly fluid as he strides beside his stampeding seahorse, a folder containing their baby's image tucked securely under his arm. "She's a doctor. I'm supposed to be able to ask her those kinds of questions."

"You just don't get it!" Suzaku growls the obvious, his hands clawing up into fists that shake at the sky. "And the _way_ you asked it…!_ 'Permissible'?_ Only _you_ would say something like that! For an _articulate_ person, you're an _oaf_ when it comes to _sensitive issues!_"

"Oaf?" Lelouch echoes sadly, his hands cradled casually in his pockets.

"It's bad enough that we're in this situation at _our age_ already!" the fuming blond continues to fume. "Do you have _any_ idea how that question makes us look?"

"Age is just a number. And since when do you care about what other people think?" the mild-mannered boy asks, looking at his companion from the corner of his eye, but Suzaku isn't listening.

"I'm just relieved she remained stone-faced like she always is, otherwise I think I might have died then and there."

"I still think you're over-reacting, but I am sorry that you're upset." It might be a backhanded apology, but Suzaku knows this is as good as it's going to get from Lelouch and, at any rate, it _is_ a sincere confession of remorse. "It was an important question and now we know we're safe for sex at least until the baby gets bigger and we don't use any particularly straining positions."

_Is that all you care about?_

"She even told us about that informational website and even gave us some literature…" Lelouch reaches for the pamphlets from the breast pocket of his jacket—

"I _saw_ it!" Suzaku flags his hands widely at Lelouch's chest. "You don't need to _take it out!_" –understandably, those few words get quite the strange look from those around them.

Lelouch just smiles at him.

"You should record yourself when you talk sometimes so you can _hear_ what comes out of your mouth."

"I _always_ know _exactly_ what I'm going to say before I say it. I don't just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind like _some_ people I know," Lelouch boasts with a light shoulder bump against Suzaku who sighs irritably. "Therefore there's no need to 'record myself.' It would be redundant."

"I think that both you _and_ that doctor need to work on your bedside manner," Suzaku grumbles, his pace finally slowing as his emotions cool. "She _especially_ makes me feel uncomfortable."

Lelouch is smiling at him, "I like her."

"You would."

A light but deep chuckle rumbles beside Suzaku, almost snuffed out by the weekend traffic buzzing around them. This is the first weekend Suzaku hasn't worked alongside Euphemia, as were her orders. Government business isn't typically conducted on the weekends, but the Zone is an exception while at its early stage. Suzaku was overjoyed to have the time off with Lelouch, but _now_…

"And I _still_ can't believe I let you talk me into dressing like a _little girl!_" he starts to gripe again, his temper rising to another crest. "I feel _completely_ ridiculous! Next time we need to try for something more modest and mature."

"I think you look cute."

"You keep saying that like it's going to change my mind."

"It should, because it's the truth."

Suzaku huffs in a bout of stubbornness at his _equally_ stubborn boyfriend (from whom he picked up this blasted huffing), returning his arms to the folded position he's favored since he donned this apparel.

"Besides, no one is even looking at you," Lelouch notes casually. "You're too concerned with your own insecurity to realize everyone else is the exact same way."

Suzaku glances around at all the pairs of eyes that are pinned to the end of their own paths and their own lives, so stuck in their tunnel-vision that not a single person spares Suzaku a second look. It doesn't stop the cross-dressing boy from seething, however, now too busy loathing the fact that Lelouch is _right_.

Like always.

Why does he have to be so _right_ about everything all the damn time?

(Suzaku just needs to remember in these moments that if he were to suddenly start sprinting, not only would Lelouch fail to keep up, he'd die trying.)

"Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't wearing a _blond_ wig," he grouses lamely. "It makes me feel like an obvious phony."

"Blond is the farthest from your natural colour, thus making it harder to distinguish you. Not to mention, blond hair is a common Britannian feature."

"So are blue eyes," Suzaku counters heatedly – where does Lelouch _get off_ by stuffing Suzaku into a mold? "Why didn't you give me coloured contacts to wear, too? Then I'd be _nothing_ like myself."

There's a brief moment of silence that teases Suzaku with another taste of victory over Lelouch—

"Do you know why I chose this colour dress for you?"

—but once that creamy voice spreads gently over his eardrums, he realizes it's actually a thoughtful pause, not an admittance of defeat.

Suzaku doesn't speak, just looks over at the other boy who bears a faint grin that matches his tone as his ethereal eyes gaze at the path ahead of them.

"Because it brings out your eyes, accentuating them even when obscured by those glasses."

Suzaku's heart flutters at that before it drops to his stomach and he has to peel his astonished eyes away from Lelouch, feeling a little silly for letting something this trivial upset him.

"Olive green also goes very well with your skin tone – although all the white kind of clashes, but it's hard to find olive shades in clothing…"

An endearing expression shapes Suzaku's face, a faint fluff of pink resting on his cheeks as he smiles softly to himself.

Lelouch is a lot more thoughtful than most people probably realize.

…He's also a lot more fashion-savvy than most people probably realize.

(At least he is in Suzaku's eyes.)

"And there's a perk to you dressing this way in public. It means I can do _this_ to you without drawing attention."

Suzaku looks at Lelouch with knotted eyebrows, "…Do what?"

That doom-reeking smirk twists handsomely on Lelouch's lips before he stops mid-step to grab Suzaku by the waist and plant a big, fat, wet kiss on Suzaku's unsuspecting mouth.

But, really, he walked right into that one…

Literally.

Sweet, little _Suzie_ sputters, pushing on narrow shoulders as puckering lips light the fuse leading to the red explosion on his cheeks.

"Le-_Lelouch_," he hisses, breaking the one-sided kiss before he goes up in smoke.

"Relax," the cool-cat says in a cool tone, helping himself to getting more _comfortable_ with Suzaku in his arms as they wrap snugly around an olive green waist. "No one is staring at us."

Once again, green eyes scan the crowd to find not a single gawk – maybe a few humored grins passing by, but nothing more.

It's because… they think he's a girl.

Even disregarding their genders, Suzaku is still somewhat triggered by conditioning from the social etiquette of Japan that modesty is an absolute _must_ in public, which means open displays of affection are restricted to the privacy of home…

"The wig and glasses also make it harder to tell from a distance that you're not Britannian like most everyone around here," Lelouch notes quietly, brushing the tip of his nose against Suzaku's once the boy's face is aimed at him again. "I'm not saying it's right, but we should take advantage of the disguise and their ignorance…"

Another kiss is pressed sweetly against Suzaku's lips – one he is actually able to return.

…Not like this is _Japan_ anymore.

"It does seem wrong…" he feels the need to say a little sheepishly as he toys with the collar of Lelouch's moody red jacket in a similar manner.

"It isn't us who are wrong, Suzaku, it's the world."

Suzaku is only able to blink at Lelouch's words before his lips are claimed again, a hand effectively pulling away his thoughts as it sneaks up the back of his neck to cradle his wig-clad cranium. He quickly becomes absorbed in the action like water in a sponge as Lelouch kisses him slowly and deeply right in the middle of bustling bodies that march by without paying them any mind. Suzaku isn't thinking of them, either, as he curls his arms around Lelouch's neck to draw the moment out even longer with his heart thudding in his chest and bleeding a healthy flush through his cheeks.

"Well…" Suzaku speaks with a swooning tone and giddy grin, "_alright_. But don't think I'll be dressing like this all the time from now on just to please you."

"Of course not. Just doctor visits." Lelouch grins back at him, "How about on special occasions, too?"

Suzaku gives him a playful push as they start walking again, finding his arm naturally looping through Lelouch's.

"Don't get greedy."

"You needn't worry about that," he says pleasantly. "There's a _reason_ I caught a male seahorse, after all."

Suzaku blames his pathetic blushing on the dress – there's no other excuse for why he would blush so easily.

None.

It must be this _drafty_ feeling between his legs…

"So then," Suzaku clasps his hands together over Lelouch's arm as he adopts a purposely perky new attitude, "where are you taking me?"

"That depends. Where do you want to go?"

Suzaku arcs an incredulous eyebrow, "You mean you didn't plan out every, _single_, little detail?"

Lelouch shrugs with one shoulder, "I've decided to spoil you this afternoon by taking you wherever you want."

"Oh! You mean it?" Suzaku beams at him. "Really?"

"That's right." Lelouch's ego is glowing as a result. "Anywhere you want."

"Aren't you just the _greatest_ boyfriend ever?" Suzaku exclaims with glittering eyes. "I mean, to let _little old me_ pick the destination for once!"

"…"

"I'm not even sure I can pick a place now, I'm so excited! You don't know what you do to me, do you?"

"Suzaku…"

"You're just _so_ _swell_ I think my heart—!"

"Alright, Suzaku, I get it." Lelouch covers Suzaku's mouth with very flat eyes. "Please stop talking like that."

Suzaku is grinning widely once Lelouch's hand drops from his face.

"Since you asked so _nicely_…" he teases.

"Do you want to go somewhere or not?" Lelouch brusquely demands to know – but his harsh voice can't crumble the humor from Suzaku's face.

"Maybe…" Suzaku begins to contemplate if he should just get out of these clothes and back to the academy, but, he has to admit that being able to spend time with Lelouch, on a _date_, out in _public_, and _not_ cooped up in Lelouch's room, is too wonderful a chance to pass over because of a stupid dress. …And the dress isn't really _that_ bad, anyway… "Somewhere to shop for clothes? I don't think _Suzie_ will appreciate having only one outfit to wear."

"Fine by me. Is there a clothing store you like?"

"Cross-dressing isn't a hobby, Lelouch. I don't know anything about women's clothes."

"Idiot. A store you like to shop at for your _own_ clothes will probably have similar styles for girls."

Lelouch might have a point there – Suzaku really wouldn't know.

Clothes have never been a top priority for Suzaku, not even as a child as he was a rambunctious kid who had a tendency to inadvertently ruin clothing during playtime (the memory of his father sternly eyeing the careless holes and fresh dirt smeared all over him is a vivid one), and once he became an honorary Britannian, the military provided his uniform which was all he felt he needed – it isn't as though he ever had a spare weekend to himself, and even if he did it was always spent alone… Suzaku was even glad that Ashford was a uniform school because it meant he didn't need to go out and by a slew of clothes just to attend. Sure, he has a few casual articles out of necessity but nothing more than he needs.

Lelouch has had more freedom to create and cultivate a taste for fashionable clothes for whatever occasion, and he does look very attractive in his carefully crafted outfits, but that's just Lelouch. He is _always_ gorgeous, even when he's rising from bed in the morning like a decrepit zombie from the grave. Even all of his pajamas are match sets and of fine quality – because Lelouch believes in paying for quality, _not_ quantity. Suzaku can hardly blame him for that, of course; it's a type of logic he can follow. Suzaku is just partially amazed Lelouch doesn't coordinate his _underwear_ to every ensemble he wears so well, too.

Still, clothes just aren't Suzaku's interest or forte and he has no idea where to even begin when sifting through stores in order to build a _girl's_ wardrobe. It all seems so complicated and he isn't sure he wants to rely on Lelouch – it's not as if Suzaku wants to start looking like _Nunnally_.

Not that she doesn't look nice…

Suzaku's eyes catch on a store window with a curious assortment of mannequins dressed in ghastly get-ups, surrounded by carved pumpkins and hanging bats in front of a spooky, forest backdrop.

"Is this a costume shop?" he asks, stopping to observe the witchy woman with her dark, tattered clothes and pointed hat.

"Looks that way. A few specialty shops always pop up for Halloween."

Instantly Suzaku's mind is brought to the Halloween event the student council have begun planning and organizing for the entire school, like they have every year, he's been told, how costumes aren't exactly optional being a council member, and how he has yet to get one.

"…Let's go in there!" Suzaku utters excitedly, tugging Lelouch towards the entrance—

"_What?_ Why?" Lelouch tries to resist, leaning away from the random outburst. "What about _Suzie_?"

"Well, I don't know about _Suzie_," the fake blond continues to pull _her_ black-haired companion, "but _Suzaku_ doesn't have a costume for Halloween yet."

So a Halloween costume isn't _necessarily_ necessary, but Suzaku isn't like Lelouch with all of his rational purchases and balanced checkbook.

Besides, it's perfect date material.

He hears Lelouch sigh and the weak weight of his resistance falls into the flow as they walk through the door, a bell ringing happily as they enter. The store itself is strangely lacking customers.

"Fine," Lelouch lackadaisically agrees, following Suzaku with a lagging step and looking to one proud figure standing tall on one of the many shelves. "I suppose we can find you a _sexy nurse_ costume."

"You wish," Suzaku tosses back at him as he makes his way down an empty aisle with a smirk that Lelouch shares. "And what was that about catching a _male_ seahorse for a reason?"

"Can't a guy have a fantasy?"

"Is _that_ your fantasy?" Suzaku lifts an amused eyebrow as he passes by the pre-packaged sets that are all too generic for his liking.

"What if I said that _you_ are my fantasy?" he murmurs devilishly, curling his hands around the cross-dressed boy's waist.

"I'd ask who you are and what you did with Lelouch," Suzaku answers without missing a beat – Lelouch has his _moments_, but something that sappy couldn't have been his own idea.

Lelouch chuckles warmly, the sound fading from Suzaku's ear as he releases his grip and leans away to grab a pair of red devil horns from the shelf behind them.

"I thought I already told you"—he places the headband on his head with a smirk—"I'm a demon."

"I don't see your tail," Suzaku criticizes playfully. "And shouldn't you have a cape and pitchfork?"

"Would you _like_ to see me _pitchfork?_" A lack of chastity in Lelouch's words and tone bend his lips upwards as he swoops towards Suzaku—

"Not really," Suzaku blandly rejects with his palm to Lelouch's chest, face pointed at the splayed collection of eclectic accessories from whence those devil horns came.

A subtle huff hisses through the air as Lelouch tosses the horns back on the shelf.

"So do you have anything in mind or are you just looking?"

"I'm just looking," Suzaku answers, a finger to his chin as he carefully scans his eyes over the merchandise. "I guess you could say that I'm hoping to find some inspiration."

"…Well, do you have a type in mind?"

Suzaku looks at him curiously.

"You know, something scary or funny… or _sexy_," he says lastly with that creeping smirk of his.

Suzaku shakes his humored head, "You don't give up, do you?" picking up a feathery failure of a mask that never had any hope to live up to the artfully crafted Venetian masks it tried to emulate.

"You should know that better than anyone."

Indeed he does.

"Anyway, do you know what you're dressing up as for the party?" Suzaku's lips quirk dryly, "Or should I ask if you're even _going_ to dress up?"

"I don't know yet…" Lelouch's voice is tender in an odd way as his eyes travel over the shelves. "I usually dress as a pair with Nunnally but she hasn't said anything to me yet."

"Does Nunnally usually come to you with the costume idea?"

"Sometimes. We typically work on it together but she usually has a theme or something in mind that she'd like to do. I think she's more enthusiastic about dressing up than I am."

That's ironic, considering Nunnally is blind, but Suzaku would never say that out loud.

He's ashamed he even _thought_ it.

"That's not surprising," Suzaku says instead, holding up a ghoul mask for brief inspection. "Trying to get you into _any_ kind of costume is like trying to dress a cat."

"If only I could scratch and bite like one, then everyone would stop trying. Maybe I should start studying Arthur's defense."

"Maybe," Suzaku laughs. "I can tell you from experience that's its _very_ effective."

Lelouch smiles softly at him before slinking closer to speak against Suzaku's neck, "You aren't afraid that I might bite you, too?" his finger taps at a package of false vampire teeth hanging from the shelf.

Suzaku grins as naughty memories brush warmly over his cheeks, "I can't be afraid of something I'm already used to."

Lelouch hums pleasantly, circling his arms around his pregnant prey and stealing a succulent bite from a pulsing neck, the feeling of grazing teeth nibbling down to Suzaku's crotch. He feels himself smiling dumbly at the tingling sensation as he places his hands on Lelouch's arms, squeezing them as a command to make Lelouch stop, but hips are pressed against Suzaku's backside instead.

Seems Lelouch is as insatiable as ever.

Which comes as a real surprise considering he's always on the verge death after sex.

"Lelouch~!" Suzaku hears himself _giggling_, unsure if he likes the sound of it (maybe they're _Suzie's_ giggles), while his body worms in Lelouch's arms. "You're _not_ helping!"

"I don't remember saying that I was going to _help_ you."

•-•

In the end, Suzaku was unable to select a costume and any inspiration he was looking for was blocked by Lelouch's ambitions to make-out on every aisle and in every corner of the small establishment.

But, mostly, it was because the store manager kindly told them to _take it somewhere else_ before Suzaku could invest in any more productive searching.

Seems not _everyone_ is so welcoming when it comes to public displays of affection between a boy and a girl.

•-

-•

On the surface, that blonde-haired girl Nunnally has been growing rather fond of reminds Lelouch too much of C.C.

Same emotionless expression.

Same hard eyes.

Same tight lips.

_Alice._

It's equally upsetting to see her settled next to Nunnally at the dinner table when he walks through the door as it is – _was_ – to see that witch.

Lelouch can't say he _doesn't_ like the girl, he hardly knows her – but _that's_ the problem. It just figures that Nunnally would befriend a new kid Lelouch has yet to sleuth for their background. He supposes it's only a matter of time before Nunnally started making her own friends, and he should be happy for her because life hasn't been an easy journey for his little sister.

It still feels like just yesterday when she was running around the villa with garden flowers woven in her hair—

When she was confined to a hospital bed—

When her hysterical episodes as a newly and frustrated blind, handicapped girl punctuated their lonely banishment—

But he can't let those tense memories darken his aura, not while he's in front of the light of his life.

"Good evening, Nunnally," he greets her with the smile he saves for her, nodding genially at Alice.

"Welcome home, Lelouch!" she happily returns, having already started smiling at him once he walked through the door.

"So," Lelouch says as he walks up to the table, roaming his eyes over the Braille text book and various papers cluttering the surface in front of them, "what are you up to?"

"Oh, Alice and I are just doing some homework."

"Are you, now?" he asks, leaning to look over her work after kissing her forehead. "Need any help?"

Nunnally smiles, "No, we're doing fine."

_We're__ doing fine…_

So Nunnally is having this _Alice_ help her with her homework (instead of him)?

Perhaps it's his own fault for being so engulfed by Zero that he forgot to care for what he was protecting… and now someone else is swooping in right under him.

"Ah… then I guess I won't keep you from working," he says, unbuttoning the collar of his topcoat to relieve a strange feeling that's bottling up inside him. "Is Sayoko making dinner?" That would explain the delicious smell sauntering from the kitchen.

"Yes. Is Suzaku eating with us tonight?"

"I don't think so. It appears he'll be working late again today."

"He shouldn't work so much," she pouts a little, reminding him of the exuberant child she used to be.

Lelouch chuckles, "You should tell him that the next time you see him." he pats her head before walking away, "He doesn't seem to listen to me."

Although the seahorse knows he damn well _should_.

Lelouch has half a mind to jump Suzaku and make it so that he'll be too _sore_ to do much of anything _except_ rest.

He finds his smile falling as soon as he's out of sight of Nunnally and Alice, slightly skulking his way into the kitchen with the Nunnally dilemma swarming around his head. Sayoko is indeed hard at work preparing their meal, pots steaming on the stovetop that create the wonderful aroma that makes his empty stomach grumble.

"So you're making Italian tonight?" he asks her with a hungry grin, inhaling the rich, tomato scent of the red sauce simmering in a large pot.

"Spaghetti upon Nunnally's request." Sayoko smiles, amused by his sigh of anticipation as she stirs the marinara mixture. "Would you like to taste it?"

He thought she'd never ask.

Lelouch takes the offered spoon, sipping lightly from the wood and savoring the prickle of flavor that blankets his mouth.

"It's good." he rolls the sip around his tongue thoughtfully, "Maybe… add a little more oregano?"

She gives him a lopsided smirk, "If you say so." and dashes more of the herb into the pot.

Although Sayoko was not originally to prepare meals for them, being a maid and nothing else, she's always been a capable cooker and has improved over the years. They both know that Lelouch has a picky palate that prefers his exact measurements as he's taught himself the art of cooking growing up, but Sayoko is one person that can please his taste buds other than himself.

"Thanks for cooking tonight," he says, leaning against the counter next to the stove and crosses his arms.

"No problem." She regards him for a moment before turning her attention to the uncut cucumber waiting to join the lettuce in the salad bowl beside the cutting board. "But that's not why you're in here right now, is it? There's something else you want to talk about, besides oregano."

Lelouch blinks at her in surprise, and then releases a quiet, wistful sigh that inflates his lips into a very faint grin.

"I forget how perceptive you are sometimes."

"It helps to have known you for a long time." she glances at him fondly before turning back to the cucumber, slicing thin circles from the vegetable, "What's on your mind?"

Aside from the fact that Suzaku is becoming more pregnant every day, that Zero is prematurely being absorbed in bureaucracy, and that there is a growing distance between him and Nunnally?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

"Well…" Lelouch taps his fingers on his arm, looking away from her tender gaze. "I'm just curious about Alice."

"Oh?"

"Yes. Is she around Nunnally a lot?"

"Well, they've been seeing more of each other lately. I think they're getting closer, becoming very good friends."

"I see…"

"You don't sound happy about that," Sayoko says, looking to him with her gentle, brown eyes.

"I'm just concerned. I don't know anything about this girl and suddenly she's in our home. I don't even know her family name." Or her family _relations_ and _connections_.

"Don't let your first impression fool you, she's a very nice girl," the maid assures with a kind grin, "but she doesn't seem to make friends easily. Perhaps that's why she and Nunnally are hitting it off so well. Nunnally is as accepting as they come. Alice has also proven herself to be rather protective of Nunnally in her own way. Just get to know her and you'll see they're good for each other."

The chopping sound of a knife hitting wood follows Sayoko's words, and somehow Lelouch feels as though it's cutting his voice from his throat.

The older woman is more than trustworthy, so if she had any doubts or suspicions about Alice, she wouldn't keep it to herself – she doesn't even show restraint in chiding Lelouch about his gambling habits. Sayoko is the closest thing he and Nunnally have had to a mother since theirs died seven years ago and speaking to her is as reassuring as Lelouch hoped it would be even though he still needs to investigate the girl to a level of his own satisfaction.

But then, Lelouch isn't sure if he could bring himself to separate the two when Nunnally is warming up to Alice so much…

"Thank you," he murmurs, feeling a tremor of inadequacy stifle his voice, and walks away from Sayoko's polite welcome to join Nunnally at the table while they wait for dinner.

This is a good opportunity to conduct his interview.

•-

-•

Alone in the hallway, Euphemia and Zero converse privately, almost too _comfortably_ for Suzaku's liking. He can't _hear_ what they're talking about from his distance but he knows if he were to draw closer their conversation would likely end.

Suzaku is curious to know if Zero is aware his surveillance, if he can feel it, if that mask obscures more than just an identity. He wouldn't put it past the vigilante, having proved in the past to be very aware of his surroundings, but, Zero hardly pays any attention to Suzaku – not that Suzaku has been willing to makes friends, either.

It's strange, actually, suspicious, even, that Zero spends the majority of his time concealed in his office of which only select persons are allowed inside, for the most part. Kallen is usually the security, standing at attention with the antsy expression of a guard dog just waiting to snap at the slightest threat. Suzaku doesn't know what to make of their truce now, but he knows better than to go preaching to her while she follows Zero around by an invisible leash. Surprisingly, the man named Ohgi has been doing a lot of the diplomatic errands, always present at every conference and often seen shuffling with papers as he marches through the halls. Perhaps it's to be expected since the man is Zero's number one, but he looks more like Zero's _student_ than his right-hand man.

Zero has shared few words with Suzaku, not that he expected they would become best friends while stabilizing the Zone – speaking of best friends, Lelouch's behavior lately has changed. He doesn't come in late, always being home before Suzaku, and his demeanor as a whole seems… lighter, peppier. Even though he still skips class whenever he feels like it and occasionally slips out after student council meetings, something is odd about the picture. It's almost as if he's trying to look innocent, but by doing so he only looks all the more _fishy_. Yet, at the same time, Suzaku has to wonder if this is all just some paranoid delusion. Maybe Lelouch simply is happier now that Suzaku is safer, even if he was initially reluctant about the Zone. And, it's not like Suzaku said anything directly to Lelouch about possible connections to Zero… but Lelouch isn't stupid and tends to pick up on things no matter how subtle… Perhaps Lelouch caught on to Suzaku's conjecture and aimed to rebuff it. He might be a closet supporter for Zero and the Black Knights, but…

Suzaku doesn't know what to make of Lelouch and Zero, now that they seem completely different.

It's almost as if he's purposely being confused by some grand scheme.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you that if you make that expression for too long your face will stay that way?"

Suzaku blinks at the pretty face of ex-princess Euphemia who is a lot closer than he remembers – _when did she…?_

"Spacing out, are we?" she asks him with a light grin.

"No," he says, shaking his head and rubbing his face but pauses to give her an honest glimpse of his guilty eyes. "Well… maybe a little."

She giggles at him behind her fist.

"I'm sorry. I'm just having a little trouble focusing these days."

"Don't apologize, Suzaku." Euphemia's consoling voice is like a cool tonic to his nerves and restless mind. "It's understandable considering your situation."

That's right.

He'd read in those books that a common side-effect of being pregnant was an inability to concentrate, the mind being too focused on the baby.

Well… he's certainly preoccupied, just not _always_ on the baby.

"And it's getting late, anyway. You should probably be heading home soon."

Probably.

But he isn't sure he wants to go just yet.

He'd rather listen to Lelouch's reprimanding later than deal with his sexual advancements now.

"What were you and Zero talking about just now?"

"Still don't trust him?" she asks with a facetious line pulling up the corners of her lips.

Suzaku is careful to not glare at her, "It's reasonable, don't you think? He protects himself by hiding behind a mask, not to mention I'm no fan of his methods."

"Reasonable, perhaps," Euphemia acknowledges with a tilt of her head. "But, did you ever consider that he might be protecting _more_ than just his identity?"

Suzaku's eyebrows scrunch at her as a response.

"He's hiding his face, but why? _Only_ because he doesn't want anyone to see him? Maybe he has family and friends just like everyone else. People he loves and doesn't want getting entangled in his affairs or hurt because of them. Never judge a book by its cover, they say. And don't you think that accepting my offer is a step in the right direction for him?"

Her words seem to be a heavy weight that pulls his eyes to the floor.

"I haven't thought of that," he gravely admits to her despite not knowing if it's really true. When he thought about Lelouch being Zero, it seemed to make sense, but what would that case be if it _isn't_ Lelouch? "But why would he risk everything to fight this battle?"

Her lips form a strange half-smile, "I don't know. Maybe that's a question you should ask him yourself." Suzaku blinks at her and before he's able to respond, she's tugging him by the arm to walk down the hall in the opposite direction towards her office. "Anyway, this isn't what I wanted to talk to you about. Come, come! I have something important to give you!"

•-•

"One… two… _three!_" Lelouch hoists Nunnally from her chair to her bed in a perfected motion without jostling or any slips. She situates herself sitting up in front of her pillow as Lelouch moves the chair towards the foot of her bed, out of the way but still within reach, and returns to her to encase her like a jewel in a box with the blanket. "Are you comfortable?" he asks, pulling and tucking the covers around her.

She nods with a smile, "It's always perfect when you're the one to tuck me in."

Affection draws a smile on Lelouch's lips and he sits down beside her, fiddling with minor adjustments to the blankets that needlessly straightens any fiendish wrinkles.

"I'm sorry I didn't make it to dinner tonight. I know I haven't been spending a lot of time with you lately because I've been busy…" he pauses, but not to hear her forgive him, just to read her grave expression, "but I haven't forgotten about the Halloween party. Actually, I think I've come up with a concept," he announces proudly until her grim silence chisels the smile right off his lips.

"About that…" she begins delicately, her fingers clasping tensely together. "Alice asked me if I wanted to dress up with her this year. You see, she doesn't have anyone else to go with, so…"

…What is Nunnally saying?

"You don't mind, do you? If I dress up with Alice?"

Yeah, actually, he kind of _really_ minds.

A lot.

"No… If that's what you want to do."

"Are you sure? I mean, I know you don't really care for this sort of thing and Halloween is less than two weeks away…"

Lelouch never thought such harmless words could hurt him so much.

Or that _Nunnally_ could be the one to speak them.

"I… just want you to be happy. Whatever you want to do is fine."

He isn't lying to her, but it hurts like he is, and he wonders if there's even a difference in this moment.

It shouldn't be a big deal, it's just for one party…

One they've always celebrated together since…

Lelouch strains to smile, grabbing her hand in both of his.

"Don't worry about me. Go have fun with your friend."

Even if he was really looking forward to it.

Even if it ruptures a small crack in his heart (or is that her bubble world that's breaking?).

"Ok." She smiles faintly. "I guess this means you can go with Suzaku now."

"You mean as a pair?" Lelouch asks her and when she nods he breathes a wry puff through his nose, "Somehow I doubt that."

_The idiot can't even pick a costume._

"Wouldn't it be fun to go together? It'll be the first time to spend Halloween with him."

He feels his eyebrows crease a little at her.

In a way, this is a strange conversation to be having.

"It isn't like I won't see him there."

Nunnally nods, "I guess you're right…"

"You sound concerned," Lelouch says, lifting one corner of his lips and rubbing the back of her hand in his grasp.

She seems to shrug a little, "I guess I am."

"And why is that?"

Nunnally's lips press together rather firmly, her eyebrows twisting into an uncertain frown – a moment of consideration on her part that's as alarming as it is adorable… as long as nothing is _actually_ _wrong_.

"I know about you and Suzaku."

.

.

.

_Eh?_

"…What do you mean?" Lelouch's lips curve into a skewed grin; not just taken aback, but _yanked_ aback by a quivering panic – he should probably stop holding her hand now if he's going to try and squirm his way out of this one…

"Lelouch," she stoically pats his hand, almost in reassurance to his quickened heartbeat, "I know I can't see, but I'm not blind."

She… has a point.

Ever since she's lost her eyesight, her other senses, including her intuition, have become surprisingly sharp to the point where she can not only distinguish people but know where they are in the room. It's uncanny, but it's made life so much easier for her. At the same time, however, it's made it harder for Lelouch to uphold his calm, cool, and collected big brother bravado when things aren't so great in reality.

Seems he should have figured she could sense the emotional attachment between him and Suzaku, but that doesn't quite explain her square knowledge of the fact – unless that _idiot_ went and opened his big mouth again – and she isn't one to jump to conclusions.

Maybe he shouldn't ask.

"I'm not bothered by it, or anything like that," she says, her words cushioned with sincerity. Lelouch's eyes only look down at their grouped hands in a sullen sink. "I wasn't going to say anything, but I don't want you to feel like you have to keep it a secret from me. I love you and support you, no matter what."

_No matter what, huh?_

Her soft hands squeeze his and he looks up to her with a light smile.

"Suzaku was right."—her eyebrows curiously crease—"You are becoming too mature for me to handle."

She giggles quietly, "The two of you understand each other and fit together so well… I'm happy for you."

"I suppose I'm happy for you, too, finally having a special friendship."

"You _suppose_ you're happy?" she teases, tugging his hands.

Another half-smile pins up the corner of his lips, "I don't like the idea of sharing you, is all."

"You haven't changed at all!" Nunnally laughs.

"I hope I've changed a little…" Lelouch pretends to sulk.

"I mean that in a good way. I like that you're still the same since…" a frown threatens to eat her lips as her hands flirt with a clench and it jolts a tremor through his chest.

"You're still the same little girl, too." Lelouch tries to distract her with an upbeat tone to counteract the sad hint that ghosted in with her words. "Just missing the pigtails…" he playfully flicks a finger at her long hair, but he doesn't get the response he wants.

"Did you hear the announcement about Euphie?"

Lelouch is surprised by not only the sudden topic change, but that Nunnally is the one to make it and that she tried to lighten her voice. She's not prone to skirting issues or being reserved…

"Yes, I did," he replies slowly, almost _cautiously_, to her.

He doubts that there is a person on this island – or the _world_ – who _hasn't_ heard the announcement and indulged in the shocking story. Just like Euphemia had promised, nearly a month after the Zone was welcomed with wary minds, the mainland made the official announcement about the disinheriting of their Third Princess. To their credit, it was actually done in a tasteful manner.

More so than _his_ disowning…

But who's comparing?

"She's very kind, isn't she?"

"I suppose so." Lelouch coolly replies.

Giving up her right to the throne is a selfless sacrifice, Lelouch won't argue that, but in the eyes of _certain_ Britannians, she's nothing more than a turncoat, a _number lover_ – that's not exactly good for winning over many, or any, Brits, but it does boost support for numbers and remaining independent countries, if nothing else.

Nunnally bites her lip slightly, "I know I shouldn't ask, but I really want to see Euphie again. Do you think we could see her one more time? She's not royalty anymore, just like us, right? Doesn't that mean it would be easier to see her now?"

"I don't know…" Lelouch says, unable to completely reject her. "I'm not sure it would be that simple, even given the circumstance."

Unfortunately, Euphemia's status, or lack thereof, doesn't make anything easier.

She'll still most likely have guards and still mostly likely have Cornelia hovering over her now more than ever and there's the press that's still flocking to her like bees to honey thanks to the double effect of the Zone and losing her status as a result. It's all spelled a scandal in big letters, rumors about _her_ and _her knight_ thickening like sticky peanut butter in the mouths of both the media and general public. If anything, Euphemia has made it harder for them to meet. At least for now.

"…I see."

"I'm sorry. Maybe we can see her again later, when things are a little more settled with the media."

Nunnally nods silently – Lelouch tries to not imagine the dejected glaze flowing under her eyelids.

"You know, Euphie hasn't changed, either."

"You think so?"

"Yeah." a smile struggles to lift her lips. "When we spoke before finding you, it was just like before… when we were younger."

Lelouch forces an undersized smile and nods, ignoring the way his childhood sores burn like gasoline through his veins at the light of sad implications strung to her words.

He'd like to remember only the good times… but they only remind him of how it all ended.

"It was like I could see the garden again in her voice. I could smell the fresh grass and flowers… We talked about those memories, and I really enjoyed it."

"That's good."

It is, _really_.

Euphemia can recall those happy times without festering, like Lelouch.

Nunnally deserves something like that in her life…

"It made me happy to revisit those times, when we were all together…" she appears to nod at her own statement, as if to verify it's true. "There are so many things I feel I've forgotten… like exact colours and expressions. What the sky looks like throughout the day…" her tone steadily dims as the outline of her eyes roll downward, perhaps trying to chase after her fading memories, and he feels it hollow his chest with remorse. "…Do you still miss mother?"

Lelouch doesn't have to hesitate at this.

"Every day," he confesses to her softly, smoothing his palm over her hand.

"Me too… I think about her a lot." In so many ways right now, Nunnally is digressing into her childhood self in Lelouch's mind. He won't deny that he's never stopped seeing her as nothing but his kid sister, but it's different this time somehow, as if the morose mood is turning back time… especially when she sniffles.

…When she _sniffles?_

"Nunnally?" Lelouch beckons with a tilt of his head at the stifled sound of her sniffing nose, a spike of fear rising up from his gut when droplets race down her cheeks. "Nunnally, what's wrong?" he asks hastily, reaching to wipe—

She shakes her head furiously, "…Nothing!"

"You're crying," he feels a little silly saying that out loud, as if she doesn't know.

Her head swivels again, although less dramatically as the tears gain momentum.

"Please, tell me what's wrong," he implores, a nasty knot of childhood angst constricting his stomach. "Why are you upset?"

"…Because!" Nunnally's voice is close to hysterical, a crack in her speech causing her sharp inhale to shudder out as a sob. "Because I can't remember mother's face!"

•-•

"I know about Lelouch and Nunnally," Euphemia says in the cozy confines of her private office, causing Suzaku's heart to nearly burst and his skin grow cold.

"…I don't, um, I have no idea… what you mean."

She grins at him, "Don't worry, Suzaku. This isn't due to any fault of your own. I ran into them when I visited Ashford."

He breathes a giant sigh of relief, the fresh air birthing a new heart in his chest – he thought that might have happened… He can hear Euphemia's giggling as she rounds her large desk, sparsely decorated by documents compared to personal photos and knick-knacks. A pink gift-bag with brightly coloured tissue paper clouding up from the inside is placed on top of the polished surface and her light-blue eyes pleasantly gleam at him.

"Are you still friends? I mean, do you see each other a lot at school?"

"Yes…" Suzaku answers with a nod and a hint of a question in his tone.

"Good! I'm so happy to hear that." she smiles something close to relieved joy, and Suzaku couldn't find it more strange. "You always seemed so at ease when you talked about them, I'm glad they're back in your life. I think they'll be good for you. Also, I have a _little_, _selfish_ errand, if you don't mind." she gestures to the bag, "Nunnally's birthday is coming up but I can't really go visit her, so I was hoping that you would give this to her for me."

Suzaku looks between Euphemia and the gift a few times before he steps closer to the desk.

"Sure, I can do that," he says with a smile that she quickly returns.

"I wish I could see her on her birthday, but…" her shimmering eyes drop from his again and into a sullen shade. "I guess this is the best I can do for now."

Suzaku can't imagine the emotional toll that was taken on her heart after grieving for her brother and sister for seven years but she truly appears to be in better spirits with the knowledge of their survival. Still, the initial information probably has a waning euphoria when she realized she can't see or speak to them – the one thing she's wished for since they were banished from the palace and the country.

Euphemia suddenly laughs a little at herself, "I probably shouldn't even be giving her a present! I can already _hear_ Lelouch's disproval, but it would be worth it to see the look on her face."

"…Then why don't you just give it to her yourself?"

Her expression is a collage of surprise and disappointment, "I can't…"

"Well… I could ask if it's alright, if you want."

Her eyes instantly light up, "You'd do that?"

"Of course," Suzaku answers with a smile. "I'd be honored."

Nunnally's birthday party will be a big celebration and have the attendance of the student council, and whoever else the birthday girl wants to invite, but Lelouch informed Suzaku that they always do something together, alone, around her birthday.

Big sister will be all right to come on that night, if only for dinner.

Euphemia grins coyly at him, "You're a genuine gentleman, aren't you?"

Gentleman…?

Don't make Suzaku blush!

Some awkward chuckles tussle in his throat and he looks down at his shoes, bashfully rubbing the back of his head.

"…If you say so."

"Learn to take a compliment," she teases. "I still want you to take this gift anyway, just in case. Don't give it to her until her birthday, though!"

"Of course." Suzaku's green eyes look up to her with a soft smile. "Can I ask what it is?"

Euphemia shakes a chiding head and finger at him, "No peeking, even for you!"

A hearty laugh puffs from Suzaku's mouth as he looks down at the bag, wishing he had the same finesse with presentation like Lelouch and Euphemia – although maybe she had gift-wrapping done for her…

"So… how are you doing?"

"Doing…?" Suzaku repeats with a blank look before the _small fry_ slaps his brain with recognition. "Oh! Fine. Just fine. I had a check-up recently and I'm due for another one after Nunnally's birthday."

"That's good to hear." the weighty mood of her face is brightened like a budding flower. "I'm happy for you."

"Thanks…" Suzaku timidly accepts with an awkward lift of his shoulders.

Why does she _insist_ on making him blush?

"Does… Does Lelouch know?" her shy question would make Suzaku guffaw like a hyena if she knew the truth.

That Lelouch is the father.

That he is a very _naggy_ father.

But Euphemia doesn't know any of the above, so he must remain dignified while mentally curious about whether or not she'll ever know anything.

Suzaku grins, trying to tame the dryness form his voice, "Yes, he knows."

Euphemia's pink hair bobs with the nod of her head, a firm expression hardening her eyes with sincerity.

"That's good. Friends should support each other."

To be fair, Suzaku didn't say Lelouch "supports" him, but it's nice that she thinks the best of him right off the bat.

Perhaps Suzaku should follow her example.

…And Lelouch _is_ a _very_ supportive father and friend.

"By the way…" she starts again tentatively, eyes seeming to search for courage, "the father, of your baby, I mean, is he…?"

Suzaku lifts an eyebrow when her blue eyes flock to him for help – like he knows what she's thinking.

He's not _Lelouch_.

"…Well, I know it's not any of my business, but I'm just curious about him…"

Ah…

"What do you want to know?"

•-•

"…Nunnally," Lelouch manages to murmur through his surprise, barely able to find his voice as he wipes her eyes with tender thumbs.

"I've been looking at the same faded image of her for years… I've only realized it recently that… she's gone." Nunnally weeps, clinging to her big brother's arms as they try to pull her up from her river of tears. "I've been trying to remember, concentrating for hours, but not even in my dreams can I see her face…! There's nothing there… She's gone, Lelouch."

He hasn't seen her cry like this since she was young… since the bittersweet days at the Kururugi shrine. He just isn't sure what to say. Her tears and her sadness have always left him feeling mute, as if his knowledge of the English language has been scooped out of his skull.

"I'm sorry," she hiccups. "I know you don't like to talk about the past, but I—!"

No…

Don't apologize for _this_…

"I feel so empty! Like I've lost a part of myself and I don't know how to get it back!"

_This_ is Lelouch's fault.

For every brittle brush-off he made at the topic of their past…

For every absent response at the mention of their mother…

For every promise of talking later and later never coming…

For shutting her out along with the feelings he refused to face…

For leaving Nunnally alone in the silent dark…

Not even ignorance is to blame.

This is _all_ _Lelouch's_ _fault_.

"I'm sorry… I was trying to be strong for you, so you wouldn't worry about me… I didn't want to tell you…"

"Don't apologize," he quietly murmurs, trying to hurdle his voice over a quivering lump in his throat as he gently wipes away the teardrops rolling down her cheeks, cupping her face and looking at her eyes as if she'll stare back – there's always the _chance_… "You don't have anything to be sorry about. Nunnally…" _I'm sorry…_ His voice drowns in her wavy weeps and it's as if she _really_ _is_ the little, pig-tailed girl that could only be consoled by mother's kiss and rocking arms or the blind girl who just wanted to see and walk again… He's consumed by a staircase drenched in blood and a nurturing smile he isn't sure he can completely remember anymore as it's stolen by dead eyes.

Lelouch can't seem to remember how to speak, suddenly becoming a helpless boy all over again.

Why do words always feel so meaningless at times when they are needed the most…?

He wordlessly gathers her into his arms as he slides up next her, petting her long, brown hair as she tucks her despondence into his shoulder, feeling his eyes prickle as his white shirt dampens.

There isn't anything else he can do. He can't flash a photograph and even though he's equipped with all the perfect words to paint the perfect picture, a description is useless because Nunnally can't understand something she's already forgotten.

Lelouch had never been so powerless during those nights when Nunnally was inconsolable, sobbing through violent tantrums… No one would believe Nunnally is capable of such horrific sorrow and distress. Lelouch didn't until he saw it. There wasn't a word he could say or a promise he could make to ease her pain, to calm her heart.

All he could do was hold her to keep her from literally falling apart, and it seems the present is the same as the past…

Because if her smile is his motivation, then her tears are his demise.

Lelouch realizes how much he's taken for granted as his violet eyes finally overflow. It's been so long since the last time he's so much as blinked a tear from his eye, because he wanted to be strong for Nunnally. Instead, it turns out, _she_ is the stronger one.

_You're_ _not the one who should be sorry_.

•-•

_It's so late…_

Lelouch is going to _kill_ him.

Suzaku was more than surprised by Euphemia's question, for more than one reason, but he found himself oddly happy to talk about Lelouch with guised words. Perhaps it's because he doesn't have anyone to talk to about personal things except Lelouch, and in that case he might as well be talking to a frowning brick wall. Before long, he found himself plopped on her office couch, smiling like a giddy _school girl_ as he prattled about his _boyfriend_ and his _pregnancy_ while being as vague as possible, and the next thing he knew it was practically midnight!

It was already very late when Euphemia grabbed him, well past supper and close to bed time, and he meant to head home right after speaking with her…

Suzaku really dropped the ball this time.

But, at least he learned his feelings for Lelouch run much, _much_ deeper than he initially thought. Deeper than any loathing he carries for a certain masked terrorist.

He steps quietly through the hall of the clubhouse as if afraid the taut tension of Lelouch's temper will snap if he is to walk too heavily – perhaps it's exaggerated, but if Suzaku expects the worst, the reality won't seem that bad… It's a trick he's picked up from Lelouch.

Too focused on the probable scorning, Suzaku turns into the first pair of doors that slide open for him and the light that douses his vision isn't unperceived—

However, the feminine décor oozing from every corner of the room are more than a shock to his senses—

He realizes, a bit embarrassedly, that he stumbled into Nunnally's room and quickly opens his mouth to apologize—

"I'm s—!" But there, on Nunnally's bed, are a slumbering prince and princess.

Suzaku feels as though he's walked into a picture frame as he stands in a stunned stupor for a moment to register the scene, even smiling very faintly to himself as he steals an intimate glimpse. Lelouch looks like he'll wake up with a sore back, being propped against the bed rail like a saggy stuffed animal, but he likely won't mind it, Suzaku imagines. His arms are curled around a sound-sleeping Nunnally who's snugly folded into her blankets as she uses her big brother as a big pillow, her cheek perched on his gently rising and sinking chest. Their breaths are so soft and slow, Suzaku catches his own so he doesn't cause them to wake and shatter this image. He nearly turns to tip-toe out before glancing at them again, at Lelouch who isn't covered and still wearing his uniform minus the topcoat. After laying a spare blanket he found on the chest at the foot of Nunnally's bed over Lelouch, Suzaku ducks out of the room, flipping off the light as he leaves.

It's too late to take a shower, but he's feeling too antsy to sleep – probably because of the pregnancy, like the books say. He has been a little preoccupied lately, but it has yet to affect his sleep, so he figures taking a hot shower will soothe his body enough to set a course to dreamland. Suzaku heads to the bedroom first to shed some of his own uniform and decides to set out a book to wait for him after washing up to read in bed—

Only, he can't find the one he wants to read.

_Shit!_

He's torn through his book bag and the pile hidden in Lelouch's closet – because he's that paranoid – but no luck. Sure, he could read any one of the _many_ books Lelouch has purchased – an abundance that has grown with their small fry – but that isn't the issue.

Suzaku lost the book.

Losing the book is a _bad_ thing.

If someone found it… well, there aren't any names or anything personal written in them, but how is Suzaku going to get it back? He doesn't even know _where_ he lost it!

Just what will Lelouch do to him if he learns Suzaku lost the book?

Lelouch will _freak_ if he finds out and he'll never let Suzaku hear the end of it!

"Just think!" he growls to himself under his breath, standing with a frown in the middle of the room.

The last time he remembers having it was in his bag – one he hardly ever uses, except for when he has numerous school books to lug around – and he only had it in there because he wanted to try and do some reading and school work during spare time at work… Well, there isn't a lot of free time to come by, which is why he only brought the bag once…

But that doesn't help!

What if it fell out of his bag during school, in one of his classes? Or when he was with Euphemia?

No, he didn't even touch it after they started working… so it must be at school—

A lazy meow startles Suzaku, making him jump and nearly pounce the intruder until he sees a pair of feline eyes staring at him – _judging_ him.

A thick sigh of relief hales from Suzaku's mouth, "Arthur… what are you doing in here?"

Arthur doesn't even do him the courtesy of blinking.

"I don't know where it is, Arthur," Suzaku says as he flops down on the bed, falling onto his back like a dead man.

The cat quickly appears on the bed, strutting up to Suzaku's head with what he supposes is ill-intent in those golden eyes.

"You haven't seen the book, have you?" he reaches to scratch a furry head as some sort of peace offering, as if Arthur is the fiend who stole the book and will return it with the right coaxing—

Before Suzaku can even hope to experience the familiar pang of Arthur's fangs, the book's whereabouts flood his mind like a brilliant light. He remembers chasing the cat out of his bag at the end of a club meeting once, and forgot to check and make sure _everything_ was there because he was running late, so the book just has to be there!

"Oh, Arthur, why didn't you _say_ so?" Suzaku deliriously chides with a smile as he springs from the bed as if jolted by the electric epiphany.

Arthur merely yawns at his jaunty exit.

_The human idiot._

•-

-•

Milly knew her bait would work, which is why she's doubly glad that she installed a hidden camera – _courtesy_ of the _boys_ from the film club! Perhaps she'll keep up her end of the borrow bargain now that she's got something to show for her _persuasive_ personality.

She wouldn't have thought it would be Suzaku, however.

Several replays later before the start of the club meeting and she's _still_ reeling in the find and the possibilities that come with it.

Obviously, there's only one sound – and decidedly dramatic – conclusion to draw.

"Former Princess Euphemia _must_ be involved in this," Milly announces as if she's finally found the answer to an equation.

There is simply _no other_ explanation.

Shirley, the wet blanket, predictably chokes on her breath and her appalled eyes flare at the blond.

"M-Madam President!"

"It makes sense and you know it." Milly waves her hand perfunctorily at the girl, staring at the figure caught on the computer screen, Nina standing awkwardly beside her as she holds the linked camera. "Just think about it: there are a _lot_ of rumors running around about _her_ and _her brave knight_ – something most have disapproved of to begin with – and then she 'resigns' from her royal status out of the blue?"

"Because of the _Zone!_" Shirley insists. "That's what they said in the announcement!"

"Do you believe _everything_ you're told, Shirley?"

The swimmer huffs, her face tinged red by frazzled nerves and embarrassment.

"Do you even realize what you're saying?" Rivalz asks cautiously, sitting at the table across from Shirley. "That has to be, like, slander or something, right? You don't have any proof except that Suzaku picked up some book."

"_Slander?_" Milly sounds like her voice doesn't even want to _touch_ the word.

Because it doesn't.

And it isn't like she's going _public_ with this information – as tempting a thought it is…

"And she's still part of the royal family!" Shirley tags in a tad too desperately to sound the least bit convincing. "You shouldn't be disrespectful."

What's so disrespectful, exactly?

That Milly is saying Euphemia _might_ be having an affair with her knight? (Like it would even be the _first_ time something like this has happened.) That she _could_ be pregnant as a result, even though she's under age and not married?

Who even _cares_ about all of that, anyway?

They can't possibly be so… _old fashioned_.

And why does it all fall on _Euphemia?_

Suzaku is a part of this as well. Why aren't they upset about _his_ reputation? He's the one who's _their_ friend! It's true that Euphemia probably has more at stake in this scenario, farther to fall from grace than him, but it's this bloody_ double-standard_ that's causing all the problems in the first place!

Why can't these two ignore _tradition_ and just be _happy_ for the happy couple?

Two words: Wet. Blankets.

As far as not having any proof… Well, perhaps this is only speculation, but this explains why Lelouch and Suzaku spent that one afternoon at the bookstore as if it was some clandestine affair! The Lelouch point makes sense, but, since only Milly knows of his royal connection – aside from Suzaku – she can't share this indisputable piece of evidence.

"You're being too serious," she drawls at them – let them be close-minded and never enjoy themselves, see if Milly cares. "So serious that you've forgotten the _most important thing!_"

Rivalz and Shirley exchange a glance to confirm they both feel the eerie chill rolling in with Milly's chipper tone.

They do.

"_What_ important thing…?" enters Kallen on her own dull beat, the sick girl's bland voice heavy with confusion.

Milly perks up like a recently hydrated plant and bounds over to the girl who quenched her thirst, grabbing her by the shoulders as Shirley and Rivalz watch from the side with certain-doom still hovering over their heads from the _last_ time.

"Why, the _baby shower_ of course!" the excited president declares, all smiles and glittery aurora that infuse a look of utter shock and fear into the red-head's very soul.

Oh, Kallen.

She should've gotten out while she still had the chance…

•-

-•

Lelouch stands in the doorway with crossed arms, leaning against the frame as he looks at Nunnally's smile from a distance, watching Euphemia fill a void he hadn't realized was growing in Nunnally's heart. Euphemia's visit has proven to lift Nunnally's spirits, their private dinner being a nostalgic night that she's needed, and perhaps a little something that Lelouch needed, too. It isn't easy accepting that they needed her for this, but Lelouch is aware that he's closed up too tight for his own sake and forgot about Nunnally, that she's different and has different functions.

Lelouch is comfortable with repressing, Nunnally isn't. He forced his own unhealthy emotional problems onto her and that wasn't fair even though it was unintentional. All he can do is work on his vulnerability issues, however difficult that might be.

He doesn't want to end up making the same mistake with his _child_.

"You don't look happy," Suzaku says quietly, appearing at Lelouch's side as the two sisters shower each other in shameless affection – Lelouch can do _that_, although his isn't as emotional about it as Euphemia…

He lets Suzaku's statement stay unattended in the air, choosing to not reply as he stares at the golden, heart locket dangling around Nunnally's neck and the small box sitting in front of her on the table – the present Euphemia gave her. It's not a lavished item, relatively small and a little plain. It's rectangular and wooden with a heart-shaped cut on the lid filled with glass, stained with a soft pink rose; but for this box it's the _inside_ that truly matters. Not only is the inside carpeted in burgundy velvet, but once opened, it plays a soft, tinkering melody just like the one Nunnally had when she was young, when she was still a princess – mainly because it _is_ the one she had when she was still a princess. Euphemia had apparently managed to save it after they left and has kept it in excellent condition. Nunnally gushed when she heard the music, excitedly feeling the box with her fingers, and she immediately commented that it would be the _perfect_ place to store her new necklace, _if_ she ever takes it off.

Nunnally doesn't love one gift more than the other, which is just like her, but Lelouch almost wishes Euphemia hadn't given her anything at all…

Suzaku found a special origami book for her in Braille, and she loved that to the same weight, but that doesn't bother Lelouch as much as that _music box_.

"Are you not alright with her being here?" Suzaku asks, not to be deterred by Lelouch's silence – a quality that is as needed as it is annoying. If there's anyone to help Lelouch with his intimacy problems, it's definitely this stubborn, emotional seahorse.

"Honestly? No. I don't want her here," Lelouch answers in a firm slate of words. "It's too dangerous and risky for her to be anywhere near us. I don't like this at all." He can see Suzaku tilt his head from the corner of his eye.

"Then why did you agree to invite her?"

Why?

That should be obvious.

"Because I want to make Nunnally happy." _No matter what…_

Suzaku releases a very soft breath that sounds a lot like a voiceless puff of laughter.

"When we were younger, I sometimes wished that you were my real brother."

Lelouch slides his eyes away from Nunnally's glowing smile to look at Suzaku sideways, at his crooked grin.

"For obvious reasons, now I'm glad you're not." there's a light touch on Lelouch's back, pulling his face towards Suzaku fully. "Nunnally is _extremely_ lucky to have a big brother like you."

It's as if those are the exact words Lelouch has been needing to hear, loosening the tension, guilt, and doubt in the holes of his heart with tender warmth as a hand on his back rubs at his invisible wounds. It doesn't quell the pain completely, but it's a start. If they weren't currently sharing the room with Euphemia, Lelouch would gladly _express_ to Suzaku just how _appreciative_ he is to have heard that, but he supposes that for now a heart-felt smile is just as good until he can smother the boy with a kiss later in private.

And that's _just_ a kiss.

Lelouch isn't a whore for affection.

…Not to be confused with being horny, which he very much is.

•-

-•

Suzaku is marveling at the triplet collection of ultrasound photos in an unmarked, white binder – because Lelouch didn't have anything else on hand – instead of catching up on his baby reading as he sits in bed. He drags the pad of his forefinger along the profile of their small fry over the plastic sleeve, wishing he had more pictures in between the first two to really see the development, but he supposes that he'll be gaining more now that the doctor visits are more frequent. In fact, with a growing smile, he slides the latest image into the next available slip and fondly compares it against the one just before it…

And then Lelouch enters the room like a dark fog rolling over water and Suzaku considers warning other ships about the impenetrable weather. He tries to brighten his partner's dismal haze by sharing his smile, but he's more or less ignored as Lelouch deposits his dirty clothes in the hamper, a bath towel still around his neck.

Something's been up with Lelouch lately, since around Nunnally's birthday, like he isn't looking at the present or he's just distracted – in Suzaku's case, his distraction is mostly the baby, but it doesn't seem to be the same case with _daddy_. Maybe he is more bothered about Euphemia than he let on, or is it…?

_Zero._

"Lelouch," Suzaku calls, lifting the binder up from his lap in little a gesture, "I added the ultrasound picture, do you want to see it?"

Murky violets flick to him and the boy steps over, rubbing excess water from his hair with the towel as he reaches for Suzaku's handy work with passive grace that makes the seahorse want to be defiant, but when a rift of joy gently breaks along Lelouch's lips after taking the binder, Suzaku is glad he wasn't.

"Hard to believe it's not even the size of a finger yet."

"Yeah…" Suzaku smiles softly up at his parental partner, at the pleasant surface flowing over his preoccupied gaze again like a rising tide. "Do you think it'll be a boy or a girl?"

"Does it matter?" Lelouch tonelessly replies, turning away from him to stash the baby binder in his desk and hang his towel over the back of his chair.

"No. Just making conversation."

"Hm…"

"Lelouch, is something bothering you?"

Lelouch looks at him with a half-shrug and a head shake, trying to look indifferent, but Suzaku knows that look in Lelouch's eye when he sees it – rather, when he can't see anything _else_.

"No."

"Are you sure?"

Lelouch appears to frown a little, "Yes. Why do you keep asking?"

_Getting defensive over practically nothing is a good enough reason to…_

"Because it seems like you're bothered, or distracted about something."

The determination to maintain the lie is steadfast in Lelouch's eyes, almost shining like a challenge, but the façade must be wafer-thin for it wavers quickly with a deep exhale.

"It's just…" Lelouch climbs into bed, crawling over Suzaku's legs. "Nunnally wants to dress up with Alice this year for Halloween, leaving me to go solo for the first time."

"And that bothers you," Suzaku says, not asks.

Lelouch shrugs again as he scuttles under the blanket.

"But, isn't it true that you don't care for wearing costumes?"

"_That_ isn't what this is about," Lelouch bites with a furrow of his brow. "I did it for Nunnally because it makes her happy, and thus makes me happy. I never minded if it was for her."

"But now you don't have a reason to do it, is that what you're saying?"

Lelouch opens his mouth, but he doesn't manage to say anything.

"Lelouch, it isn't the end of the world. So Nunnally wants to have fun with a friend, can you blame her? You and I do stuff all the time."

"_We're_ _different_," Lelouch petulantly counters, commandeering Suzaku's lap as his pillow, not that Suzaku particularly minds, he just finds it… odd. Because this is the first time. And he didn't do it in the most _snuggly_ of manners. "It just seems like she's growing up all of the sudden."

Suzaku simpers, resting a hand on Lelouch's shoulder, "She's _fifteen_ now, Lelouch. She's been growing for a long time."

"I _know_ that, _Captain Obvious_; but it's starting to feel like she doesn't need me as much anymore." Lelouch's solemn tone only seems to add to the invisible weight on his shoulders, never mind the insult – Suzaku likens those to some sort of defense mechanism, and are thus to be ignored. "…I'm not ready for that."

_Now_ who's playing Captain Obvious?

"I know it must be hard for you, but just remember that she'll always be your little sister no matter what and you'll always be her big brother no matter what."

Lelouch doesn't seem convinced of that and Suzaku is uncertain if he should press this issue.

His _mouth_, however, seems to think he should.

"Listen, she'll always need you, but isn't the point of growing up to become independent? To find our own place in the world?"

"I don't want to her to be independent. Her place is with me." Lelouch sounds very silly but he couldn't be more serious.

"You know what they say, Lelouch: if you love something, you should let it go."

"Whoever said that obviously never loved anything."

Suzaku chuckles slightly, "You sound like a child."

Lelouch grumbles.

"It'll be fine. When Nunnally is ready to start her life, you'll be ready to let her go because you'll have been the one to prepare her. But, she'll always need you."

Lelouch grumbles… again.

Well, at least he stopped shrugging and sighing.

"And think of it this way: it will be good practice for our baby."

"Practice?" Lelouch dubiously repeats. "No, no. If anything it will be a lesson learned."

"Just what are you insinuating?" Suzaku playfully pokes at Lelouch's head.

"Keeping our small fry a _small fry_, of course. I won't give it the chance to grow."

"You sound psychotic."

"But it isn't even just her growing up…" Lelouch ignores him, caught in a cloud of tension that darkens the room. "As much as I refused to believe the day would come… When I spoke to Nunnally the other night, she said she can't remember our mother's face anymore."

So _that's_ what's been hanging over Lelouch's head lately…

Heavy stuff.

"Nunnally isn't much younger than me and I remember our mother so vividly… I just didn't know what to say." Suzaku doesn't think he's ever heard Lelouch sound so distressed and vulnerable, as if he's opening his chest for an inspection of his heart. "I've spent the last seven years protecting her, but when it really mattered I was useless. What am I if I can't even keep her from getting hurt? That's all I've wanted to do for her and I can't even do that much."

Even if Suzaku wasn't stunned silent, he doesn't think there'd be much he could say. This is the _first_ time Lelouch has opened up so much – it must be a serious wound for him to _talk_ about it – and Suzaku doesn't want to make Lelouch close back up like a clam. He just pets Lelouch's head as soothingly as he can, absorbing himself in the actions of his fingers as they comb through the inky tendrils of Lelouch's hair, relishing more than just the soft texture that swims over his skin.

He isn't sure he should pursue this vulnerable path laid before him by stating the obvious – that Nunnally is probably going to get hurt one way or another despite the efforts of big brother – but he doesn't think he should cater to Lelouch's delusion, either. Reality can hurt, but not facing it doesn't make it go away or any easier to handle in the end.

Suzaku knows that from experience.

Yet… this sounds contradictory; to say Nunnally is growing up but can't remember their mother… she's going to rely on Lelouch for something like this. But, because Lelouch feels helpless, there's nothing he can do, so… Are these two issues related or is Suzaku just puzzling over a clear picture?

"It doesn't matter if she gets hurt," he says softly, looking down at the raven-haired head in his lap. "What's important is that you're there to catch her when she falls. Words of wisdom don't always need to be shared; sometimes just being there to listen or hold her is enough."

Lelouch merely hums dispassionately, but he doesn't move away from Suzaku's touch, so maybe that's speaks for itself – if he was uncomfortable in any way he would put as much physical distance between him and the discomfort as he could, subtly, of course. Suzaku doesn't expect Lelouch to bare his soul, at least not all at once, and he _doesn't want to change him_, all he wants to become the exception to Lelouch's guarded heart; for Lelouch to feel safe and comfortable enough with him to not apply the shields he uses on everyone else. The fact that Lelouch has come to him with this worry at all is a giant step toward that certain sense of intimacy this violet-eyed clam has been avoiding by burying himself in the sand as deeply as possible.

Suzaku doesn't know what exactly inspired Lelouch to spill this private, personal morsel; all he _does_ knows is that he's welcoming this unprecedented _phenomenon_ as attentively as he can like he finally got an independent, stray cat to willingly come to him and wants to savor the moment, unsure of when it will happen again. So, Suzaku is torn. He's too afraid of scaring Lelouch back into his shell and yet he doesn't want this chance to peer inside Lelouch's heart to pass by unfulfilled.

Maybe it would be smart to just leave it at this and not press his luck.

"…What does your mother look like?" Suzaku asks suddenly thanks to a persistent curiosity.

Lelouch shifts a little before answering, perhaps not expecting that question or maybe thrown by the present tense, and he speaks with a slow, mechanical slant to his words.

"You… want me to _describe_ her to you?"

"Sure, if you don't mind. I have no idea what she looks like."

A true statement.

Suzaku has heard brief mentions of her, but nothing to do with her appearance.

And it isn't as if there are images of her littering today's society despite her reputation.

"Well…" Lelouch fidgets again, "she was tall and thin, but strong and willful. Her face was kind of narrow but soft and warm when she smiled. She had deep blue eyes and long wavy hair like Nunnally, except it was black, and had fair skin…"

"She sounds pretty."

"She was. At least, I always thought so…"

Suzaku grins, "She also sounds like you – you must take after her a lot."

Lelouch shifts again and Suzaku gets the impression there's something he's not sharing.

Suzaku doesn't doubt it.

"Maybe."

"And from some of the stories I've heard Nunnally tell, it seems your personalities aren't too far off, either."

"…I don't want to talk about that."

The sudden clap of a shell snapping shut in Lelouch's words causes Suzaku's hand to flinch away in surrender, a physical doge of a line he, perhaps, shouldn't be crossing.

Not yet.

Hell, even Lelouch just _saying_ he doesn't want to talk about it is _saying_ something.

"Fine. We don't have to." Suzaku resumes petting Lelouch's hair, glancing in the binder's direction. "We could talk about going to that class at the clinic instead."

Lelouch groans, rising from Suzaku's lap, "Let's not and say we did."

So, Lelouch _got_ what he wanted… and now he's going to just _leave_?

"_Lelouch_," Suzaku bristles in annoyance.

"Suzaku," Lelouch returns coolly – _always_ an instigator.

"I just want to _talk_ about it. We don't _have_ to go; I'd just like to _discuss_ the _notion_ of going."

Lelouch stares at him plainly, "Fine."

"Oh, great attitude," Suzaku scorns.

"You said you wanted to talk about it, you didn't say I had to like it."

_Real mature._

Suzaku huffs, "Well, I talked to Euphie about it—"

"So now she's putting ideas in your head? Perfect."

"You didn't mind it before."

"She wasn't working _against_ me before."

"Just listen," Suzaku exhales tersely. "I appreciate the books, I really do, but it couldn't hurt to get that extra education – not everyone learns the same way, you know. And we could meet other mothers and learn from them. And practice changing a baby, or how to hold it properly—"

"I already know how to do those things, Suzaku. You don't need to rely on a stranger to show you."

"Professional. Not stranger. _Professional_."

Lelouch scoffs.

"And the class isn't just about that, and we could take it when we go for doctor appointments. It's not really that inconvenient." At Lelouch's persistent silence – complete with crossed arms and pouty look – Suzaku tries another angle, "…And, if we go to these classes, that means you'll get to spend more time with _Suzie_."

Lelouch lights up considerably and Suzaku grins despite himself.

"Well, since you put it _that_ way…" the devilish boy slyly changes his tune, slinking closer to Suzaku.

Suzaku shakes his head, "If I didn't know better, I'd think you like her more than me."

"Good thing you know better," Lelouch murmurs, diving his nose into Suzaku's neck and rubbing his hand over a pregnant stomach.

Suzaku chuckles, tickled by the teeth that nibble up behind his ear and places a hand over Lelouch's.

"What is it about Suzie that appeals to you?"

"Nothing especially…" another gentle murmur, this one filling Suzaku's ear with hot breaths that electrify his skin, "You just happen to look good in a dress."

"Better than you?"

"Pretending I didn't hear that," Lelouch singingly mutters, kissing the quip right off Suzaku's lips.

Suzaku laughs again; his chest bobbing gaily as the prideful press of Lelouch's lips quickly dissolves the mirth from his mouth and he feels his hand combing through soft, black hair as a hand moves to touch his hip. He faintly registers that there are indeed fingers flirting with his skin under his shirt and that they do indeed belong to Lelouch as he sighs contently against the lips drawing him into a delightful daze. This haze thickens when Lelouch's tongue bluntly enters his mouth, rubbing and slithering against his in hypnotic motions that practically wash his mind of everything except the _physical_ realm.

Suzaku almost can't believe how quickly they've gone from talking about Nunnally and Lady Marianne to—

_Nunnally!_

Suzaku instantly withdraws, his lips not quite catching up as he licks them clean, "So, is that a _yes_ to the class?"

Lelouch's eyebrow is already arced, "Mmm… I'll _definitely_ look into it." He swoops in for Suzaku's lips to resume where they were, but firm hands act as a buffer against his chest and flush out his sneaking hand.

"Lelouch…" Suzaku murmurs, Nunnally-guilt bolted to his voice and pants like a chastity belt, making him sound more _disinclined_ to the other boy's advances than he means to.

A disdainful screw tightens Lelouch's lips into a small, sneering smile and Suzaku can't blame him for it.

Suzaku doesn't mean to be a tease, but that's exactly what's happening.

The sour prince doesn't retreat from the defeat, though, he holds strong in his position.

"You've been avoiding me physically a lot lately," Lelouch's voice is surprising level considering the straining smile he just wore, tapping his fingers over Suzaku's leg in patient drumming, "and I know it isn't because you're not interested. Do you want to tell me why this is?"

Suzaku tries to swallow the confession budding in his throat, throwing his eyes as far away from Lelouch's once those _vindicating_ violets pin to his, trying to upheave the little secret Suzaku's been sitting on with this single look. Suzaku doesn't make it a habit to lie, therefore he is not a very good liar and he doesn't intend to develop this skill, but it makes these moments with Lelouch all the more difficult. Once the brilliant boy has sniffed something peculiar, he won't relent until he's found the origin of the stench.

Which is unfortunate because Suzaku knows he's giving off quite a powerful smell.

He's also _very_ vulnerable to Lelouch's intense stares.

So… he's pretty much screwed before he even tries.

"Suzaku…" Lelouch coaxes, rubbing his hand up and down Suzaku's leg as he pivots his head to look into evasive emeralds.

The suddenly skittish seahorse tries his best to steer clear of Lelouch's roping eyes, but he is inevitably wrangled by the stronger will of his friend.

"…It's…" Suzaku begins, a reluctant purse on his face to both confess and lie, "I'm worried that Nunnally might hear."

A pregnant pause sits on Lelouch's end, making Suzaku's nerves curl – Lelouch couldn't already _know_, could he?

"Hm… she said something to you, too?"

"You mean she _told_ you that she _heard_ us having sex?" Suzaku blurts out in a burst of nerves that were clogging his throat… but when he acknowledges Lelouch's expression [...(o_O)...?] he realizes his mouth has gotten him into trouble again.

"No…" Lelouch is surprisingly sober when he speaks – perhaps he knows what to expect from _Suzaku_ by now, at least…

Suzaku is already nodding.

He knows he goofed.

"Suzaku… you really need to start thinking before you speak…"

"Yeah…"

"…or at least get the whole story first…"

"…I know."

"…As fun as it is to hear your spouts of stupidity…"

"I know…"

"…it's going to get you into a lot of trouble someday."

Suzaku merely nods – today wouldn't happen to be that "someday," would it?

Lelouch heaves a heavy sigh as he rubs a hand over his face as if trying to scrub the moment from his mind.

"…So… I guess that's to blame for your distance."

Suzaku nods without another word.

"I guess it can't be helped. But if you were _quiet_ she probably wouldn't have heard anything in the first place."

Suzaku gawks at him – _the nerve!_

"You! You! _You…!_"

Lelouch fondly smirks at him and kisses his cheek.

"You're _welcome_, by the way."

"And you're an arrogant ass."

"You say 'arrogant,'" Lelouch grazes his lips over Suzaku's, "I say _confident_."

"_Over_confident." The younger boy pushes the older one away in a strong rejection. "Work on your stamina and _then_ get back to me."

"I'd suggest we work on that now, but the moment's been spoiled… thank you." He flops onto his back, folding his hands behind his head.

"Sorry…"

Lelouch shrugs.

…Just a shrug?

"You're actually handling this very well, for you. I thought you'd be more upset about this."

More like he thought Lelouch would bring upon the apocalypse at the mere _whiff_ of this information…

"Oh, Suzaku…" Lelouch smiles strangely, staring at the ceiling. "You have _no idea_." Some unsettling chuckles cackle from his throat, "…It's actually kinda funny."

Suzaku stares.

Is this some sort of sick trick?

Or is he just _underreacting_ on purpose…?

"…Is it?"

"No. But I've been told I should learn to find the humor in life." Lelouch looks at his companion, placidity smoothing his features, "Otherwise I might endure health problems."

_Who told you that?_

"That doesn't mean you should repress your feelings." Suzaku frowns. "That's not any better than stressing out or getting worked up."

Lelouch laughs again, but it sounds less crazed and more humored as it tumbles in his chest.

"You're right about that, I suppose." he sighs, looking up again like he can see right through the ceiling. "I don't know, I think I'm kind of… relieved."

"Really?" Suzaku asks as he slides to lie down.

Lelouch nods, "Like I have one less thing to worry about. There's nothing _proper_ about the situation, but Nunnally has a lot of grace and dignity to make this _somewhat_ bearable."

"She _is_ your sister," Suzaku smiles widely, nudging Lelouch with his elbow. "If anything, you have enough _dignity_ to spare her."

"I'll choose to take that as a compliment." Lelouch gives Suzaku a sideways glance, "So… I guess this means we won't be having any sex if Nunnally is around."

"Not a chance."

•-

-•

Lelouch finds Death on Halloween night and smiles.

The cheesy, plastic scythe complete with a flowing, black cloak, and skull mask are a far cry from bringing the fear of a true death to life, but the idiot picked something that's somewhat interesting, at least. Lelouch would certainly be impressed if the irony is on purpose.

Suzaku is standing by the window of the student council room, the dark sky a perfect backdrop for such an evening, as he socializes with Milly – who he would have to guess is supposed to be a pixie (because she could _never_ be a _fairy_). The whimsically sheer, embroidered wings on her back, slender wand, and the glitter all over her exposed skin are a dead giveaway. She is dressed promiscuously enough, wearing a dark red halter-top and black miniskirt with dark hose and knee-high boots, all of which shows her figure rather unabashedly… which is being very much admired by the flamboyant clown behind her.

Rivalz couldn't have dressed any closer to the truth… but the white, dotted one-piece he's wearing isn't going to earn him any points despite being as vibrant as a peacock fanning his tail for a mate. He looks like a giant marshmallow, sprinkled with multi-coloured confetti and his orange wig looks like a flame trying to melt him into a sticky mess… He of course completed the outfit with a painted smile, a bulbous, red nose and big red shoes… Rivalz gets points for dedication, if nothing else.

Even Arthur is decked out for the party, although he doesn't look pleased as he scratches at the fake crown strapped to his head and the faux-furry trimmed cape tied around his neck while resting on his high perch. Nina is standing beside him awkwardly, looking as if she can't decide to pet him or not, and looks relatively regular, save for the white lab coat swathing her body – did she not try on her costume, either, or is she just matching her aspirations?

Kallen is sitting at the table nearby, looking as bored and annoyed as an _invalid_ can, dressed like some _samurai_ warrior out of a painting, a fake, sheathed _katana_ lying in front of her – at least Lelouch _hopes_ it's fake.

The only person missing is—

"Is it true that Zero is really a woman?"—Lelouch hears an excited Milly ask Suzaku and he decides, rather irritatedly (_why is she so fixated on that…? And who ever factually reported that he is a woman?_), that now is a good a time as any to steal his _seahorse_ away from the party.

When he sets out to make his decision a reality, however, he finds himself caught from behind by the gloved, beseeching hand of a life-size doll in a short, baby blue dress with orange pigtails, rich red lips, and bright pink cheeks.

_Shirley?_

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I just really need to talk to you," she meekly says contrary to her strong grip, her powdered face pursed with angst.

"It wouldn't happen to be an apology for standing me up, would it?" he asks her a bit derisively, watching her flinch with guilt – he isn't even really bothered by it, but an apology would still be nice.

…It doesn't matter that he initially planned to do the same thing to her when he agreed to attend the concert with her… because he _did_ show up, even if he was late – better late than never. (And it was for her own good, anyway. She didn't need to get anymore attached to a troubled terrorist than she already was…)

"I'm sorry about that… I'm just so confused. Everyone keeps saying things about me and you, that I, err, _we_ were friends or something, but I don't remember anything at all. Why is that? Why can't I remember you when we've clearly known each other for years?"

Lelouch isn't sure how to answer that, but he figures that, in this case, maybe honesty isn't such a bad idea.

It's about time this gets wrapped up nicely, anyway.

He smirks at her a bit playfully, "Because I told you to forget about me."

Shirley blinks at him; his words wiping her face clean of any understanding.

"Because you _told_ me to…?"

"That's right," he says still smiling as he offers her his hand – knowing a pixie-Milly is watching them form the corner of her eye. "So why don't we start over now? A fresh start for a new friendship?"

Shirley's brain is lost at sea as she stares at his hand as if it's some strange, new fish species, but grasps it anyway.

"Ok… I guess…" her olive eyes look up at him bemusedly, "Does this mean I'm supposed to start calling you 'Lulu'?"

He'd rather she didn't.

But, for the sake of appearances…

"I think everyone else might leave you alone if you did."

She smiles and it's nothing short of relief that washes her brain back to her, "Then I guess I will."

"So our Vice President finally shows himself." Milly calls sassily as she sashays up to them, her eyes rolling over Lelouch with a disdainful grin. "I'm so glad you worked hard on your costume."

Lelouch smirks back at her, "Always try my best, Madam President."

She hums at him as she tugs one of Shirley's pigtails, "Well, now that all the _business_ has been taken care of, it's time to kick off the party! Everyone to their posts! We draw the curtains at seven o'clock, _sharp!_"

Lelouch gets a feeling of déjà vu as he watches everyone walk through the door behind her like a train – they were supposed to have a quick overview of tonight's schedule and protocol, but it seems Milly can't be bothered with that anymore…

"Guess it's time to go, then." Shirley's hair bounces about her shoulders as she prances out of the room, "See you later, Lulu!"

Lelouch smiles despite the use of his _cutesy_ nick-name.

That was certainly an easy fix, but Lelouch won't complain.

He likes reconciliations that are concise and straightforward… even though that wasn't quite straightforward…

"I don't know what surprises me more"—Lelouch hears someone say behind him—"The fact that you're a devil or that you hardly even tried on your costume."

Lelouch comes face-to-face with the Grim Reaper himself and he smiles a crooked smirk, "And I suppose you think you're better?"

Suzaku shrugs, but it's hard to tell through the mask and roomy robe just what type of shrug it is.

"At least I didn't just tie a tail to my pants and call it a costume."

Fact: Lelouch got dressed in his regular street clothes, added devil horns and tail, and went to the party.

Fact: No one said he had to put a lot of effort into his costume, just that he had to wear one of some kind.

"You're the one calling it a costume, aren't you?" Lelouch counters airily with a cross of his arms. "As far as you know this is the real me."

"So you keep telling me, right?" Suzaku laughs.

"The sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll understand."

Suzaku shakes his head, pushing his mask up under his hood to reveal a light sheet of sweat already beading on his face – oh, _how_ that leads Lelouch's thoughts astray…

"Something's missing, though." Suzaku lifts an eyebrow, looking Lelouch over with inspecting eyes. "Where's your pitchfork?"

Like Lelouch cared enough to carry something like _that_ around, let alone find one.

Fact: Lelouch didn't try on his costume, remember?

Feeling in the spirit for the first time this Halloween, a sultry smirk crawls over his lips at the naughty thoughts that fill his head and he seductively taps on Suzaku's chest with one finger.

"You know, Nunnally is going to be out for some time tonight, enjoying the festivities…"—supervised, of course; Nunnally might be off with Alice, but everywhere they go, a _ninja_ is watching them—"So," he bats his eyelashes at Suzaku, his gaze steaming with allure, "we could slip away if you'd _like_ to see my _pitchfork_."

A roguish grin claims Suzaku's lips, "I should've known a demon like you would jump on the chance to take me to heaven."

"I wonder if a reaper and a demon are even capable of going to heaven," Lelouch murmurs huskily, sliding his finger up Suzaku's chest and snatching his chin, "but it's worth _investigating_, don't you think?"

Death appears to swallow and a skittish ripple quakes his voice, "Certainly. But won't everyone notice if we're not around? We have jobs, and aren't you supposed to help with the costume contest? I'd rather not be interrupted on our _trip_ because we're not at our posts."

Suzaku does bring up a good point… unfortunately.

Thanks to the festival last month that burned quite the hole in their budget, this Halloween is a rather low-key affair… to Milly's standards. They've still got all the junk food any kid could ask for, plenty of music for the dancers, the scary movie marathon for the thrill seekers, a few murder, killing related role-playing games, but for the most part it's an independently celebrated holiday – one the school supports because it keeps their students out of trouble, or at least keeps their trouble on campus. Still, these aren't terribly difficult tasks to manage, the rest of the student council can handle these few activities fine, along with the chaperones (who are the _real_ babysitters, not Lelouch) without two of their members; and if they can't, well, Lelouch is _even more_ worried about the future state of this world.

There's only one thing Lelouch ever looks forward to and it is taking Nunnally through the Candy Circuit – the route around campus where candy is passed out by volunteered staff to the elementary and junior high kids… and maybe some high schoolers who can get away with it – but she's going with _Alice_ this year…

All that's left is the costume contest, which is Milly's baby and the only real "event" of the night. Lelouch only has to be there as a formality because he's the Vice President, and because Milly doesn't like to count the votes… and because she _would_ try to rig it. It isn't even exciting, although he is fearful. The winner is determined democratically and always receives some _mysterious_ prize that could be _anything_ – though it usually involves exploiting some poor member of the student council.

Actually, that gives him an idea…

"Not to worry," Lelouch reassures. "I can take care of that." He struts over to the intercom, complacently clearing his throat before ringing the attention chimes. "Attention, students, this is your Vice President speaking with an important announcement: as a surprise twist tonight; the Student Council President _herself_ has promised to award the person who can capture her and steal her wand first with _one wish! _All high school students are eligible, so go find her before the game ends at midnight! Good luck!"

_Let's see her try to run in those boots._

Too distracted by the costume contest, Milly doesn't realize she led herself right into the lion's den…

And that she left Lelouch with the gate key.

He grabs Suzaku's wrist and flees the scene as quickly as possible, before he can become trapped by his own trick.

•-•

"Lelouch, I'm a little surprised at you," Suzaku says in a breath with a toothy smile, his heart racing to catch up to him as he slips his sandals off at the door.

"She won't be president forever and it'd be nice for her to get a taste of her own medicine before she leaves." Lelouch shrugs, turning to him after locking the door behind them, a wily warp on his lips, "…And it isn't like she doesn't deserve it."

Suzaku is grinning, "Well, this will buy us some alone time, at least…"

"That was the plan." Lelouch wags his eyebrows happily, not wasting any time to smooch with Suzaku where they stand, his arms roping around Suzaku's waist and pulling until there's no space left between them. Suzaku twines his own limbs around Lelouch's neck, somewhat wishing he could just hop up into the taller boy's arms and be carried to bed… but that's like wishing for the moon.

But he doesn't need the moon to come to him.

He can meet it halfway.

Suzaku decides to take the initiative for once, pulling Lelouch with him farther into the room towards the bed by their locked lips, breaking when he sheds his mask, scythe and long, black cloak. They fall from his fingertips when Lelouch's palms softly skim up his naked torso (Suzaku thought about wearing a shirt, but what was the point?), those hot hands sliding around his hips and up his back, spreading a wildfire over Suzaku's skin. He feels the burning excitement churning in his crotch as Lelouch kisses his neck, sucking and lapping along his pulse in a way that entices his muscles to wither and beg for the bed.

The clatter of devil horns crashing against the hard-wood floor cracks in the air, the thud of shoes close behind them as the pillows on the bed are shoved aside for Suzaku's landing. The bars of Lelouch's bed frame are like ice to Suzaku's back, spiking an urge to curve away from them as he sits at the head of the bed with Lelouch between his legs. His knees are pulled passed the older boy's hips and his hand rakes into Lelouch's hair as he's kissed again by pleasantly firm and controlling lips that are unwilling to retreat for air, but reluctantly do with a lagging tongue. It licks Suzaku's bottom lip, sensually sucking the plumping part with close attention as if it's the brunet's hidden hot spot, scraping teeth around the flesh as he pants. Suzaku tries to keep from drooling as he holds his mouth open, gasping as one hand rubs down from his thigh over his clothed crotch with _just_ the right pressure in _just_ the right places. It pushes an unrepressed moan from Suzaku's throat, making Lelouch slurp off his lip to stare at him lustfully as he concentrates the groping of his fingers on tightening testicles. This affectionate hand has Suzaku's hips squirming faintly as it massages and pulls, squeezes and rubs as if polishing an especially dirty, delicate doorknob and it knocks Suzaku's head back, tipping his face to the side in mewling pleasure.

Suzaku clenches his eyes closed at the smoldering eyes staring down at him with sharp, intimidating focus. He's almost surprised the _demon_ hasn't devoured him yet, but Suzaku can tell by the ravenous glimmer on Lelouch's entrancing eyes that this won't be a short encounter – not that he minds it at all, being as horny as he's ever been in his life. Suzaku never knew he could become so physically starved, and maybe the pregnancy is affecting his hormones, but these past weeks of frustrated kisses and petting without promises of more has raised a realization within him.

Maybe because this time was different – probably because now he _knew_ exactly what he was missing.

It was hard to find the time to be together before, but there was always _something_ to tide them over until they could devote all of their attention to each other. A hand down his pants in the boy's restroom, some quick dry-humping in the storage building, a friendly fellatio on the rooftop, or even a discreet after-dinner dessert… But this time, there wasn't any of that. Suzaku's schedule didn't allow for a lot of spare time in and out of school, and any of the chances he got he was too afraid to take due to Nunnally's unintentional warning. Suzaku can't believe it's been over a month since they've had _actual_ sex, and that he's _so_ conscious of it. In reality, they haven't been together all that long, for a little over two months now, and their physical relationship is just as old, but it feels so much longer since they became this secret item.

Like, maybe, _seven_ _years_.

He can already feel the craving for copulation heating his body with lustful blood and dull throbs in his flexing insides, a sensation that intensifies when Lelouch's fingers breach his clothes. They tuck behind the borders of his gym shorts and boxers, tugging them easily from his hips with their elastic waistbands dragging over Suzaku's hardening flesh, causing him to moan in his nose and fist the sheets. He just knows his knuckles are bleached by the anticipated tension tightening his body as his clothes clear his feet and by the way Lelouch's hands leave a burning chill as they smooth over his legs towards to his flushing length. It twitches at the teasing caress of fingertips that cruise up and down the shaft before curling in a secure grip and decide to dilatorily start pumping as his own hands clutch to Lelouch's shoulders with a whimper. Thanks to his grip, Suzaku becomes aware of the fact that Lelouch is still fully clothed while he's nude from head to toe just before he feels Lelouch shift and the lazy fumbling of clothing reaches his ears—

But he flinches when something strange nudges his nipple and immediately flips his lids to first see Lelouch's wanton smirk, and then to the hard, plastic, spear-shaped tip of the red devil tail. It swabs around his tight bud, trickling tingles from his chest down to his wet erection still caught in Lelouch's sluggish hand as it slinks up and down with no end in sight, both sensations sinking him into the dark depths of pleasure. Suzaku succumbs to the pull, letting his partner drink in his open expression of satisfaction as a soft sound flows from his throat until everything _stops_ and his drooping eyelids are lifted like shades. Those molten eyes are the first thing Suzaku's sees as Lelouch leans in close to his face, their noses almost brushing as that red tail is brought between them, the plastic tip rubbing over Suzaku's lips with _pushy_ flirtation.

…He sees where this is going.

Suzaku parts his lips – hoping he looks as sexy as he's trying to be – and touches it with the tip of his tongue, sweeping over it as if it were a piece of candy, or maybe something _else_ – Suzaku has just realized how much resemblance it bears to a _certain_ body part. He actually rather likes this playful suggestion (not like Lelouch has ever given him the chance to do it for _real_), even if this accessory isn't at all pleasant to taste, and he can see the enjoyment glimmer in Lelouch's eyes. The Britannian is smirking at him, gently moving the tail forward and back onto Suzaku's taunting tongue and it slides through fat lips, in and out in a slow, sensual manner until he adds his own tongue to the mix. It prods blindly around Suzaku's mouth before vanishing in a flash and Lelouch's head sinks from sight.

Kisses melt on the inside of Suzaku's thigh as they slowly plant closer to the place a hand is _gripping_, their wet sounds stirring the excitement in his loins with sweltering eagerness that only boils once hot puffs of air sail down his pulsing erection. A wide lick over the top of his cock pulls a moan from Suzaku's throat, teeth biting down on plastic as his knees are hooked over Lelouch's shoulders and his hips twitch upward for more, to be _deeper_. He doesn't have to wait long for the hot pocket of Lelouch's mouth to engulf him, sucking tamely as he needles and slides his tongue in the _perfect_ _places_ that makes Suzaku feel like he'll blow a fuse.

Their physical relationship might still be young, but Lelouch is a _very_ fast learner and a _very_ good listener to what Suzaku's body likes. He's more or less gotten pleasuring Suzaku down to a science which seems impersonal but couldn't be farther from the truth. _Truth is_, Lelouch couldn't be _any more_ up close and personal than he already is. He knows which _buttons_ to _press_ and which _knobs_ to _turn_ to get Suzaku running like a well oiled machine – but this thought brings Suzaku dangerously close to Lloyd and the Lancelot, and he'd rather not stay on that path for too long.

Not that Suzaku has the capacity to concentrate on anything other than Lelouch's bobbing head anymore…

All he can think is that he's thankful Lelouch hasn't ventured into _deep-throating_ just yet because Suzaku isn't sure he'd last long enough to fully enjoy it. His hand is grappling to the roots of sable hair as if they're his only tether to the planet and his earthly hold is tested when fingers begin to play at his entrance. They are dry and gentle as they entice him to _open up_ and relax with inviting pressure, but he's been ready since they started and welcomes the attention with a contented roll of his hips. However, with the removal of the devil tail he had forgotten all about from his mouth, it isn't the nimble, mind-numbing dexterity of long digits that tenderly tunnel into his insides. Suzaku's body initially locks up with a strangled gasp at the intrusion having expected something else, but all the pleasing stimulation eases his eager body into acceptance despite discomfited reluctance to what's happening.

…Lelouch seems to have already reached the point where he'd like to _spice_ things up a bit, which would be fine if he wouldn't just decide these things on his _own_. This left-brained boy isn't the spontaneous type, prone to adhering to schedules and routines, but that doesn't mean Suzaku can predict his every move. Lelouch is thinking things long before they come to life, so in his mind there's nothing random about them even though all that pondering _stays_ in his head.

Shoving a devil tail up Suzaku's ass – _without_ introduction or permission – is _very_ random.

It's only _more_ disturbing if Lelouch has actually _spent time_ thinking about it _prior_ to this moment.

Suzaku is initially on the petrified range of emotions when he feels that slim spade _dig_ into his body, but he can't deny the delight it brings as Lelouch gingerly slides and swivels it around inside him, stretching and filling his _needs_. Suzaku wouldn't have thought he'd come to hanker anal sex so much, and at first he thought he was infatuated with the simple fact that he was _with_ Lelouch, but Suzaku knows it's more than that now, _deeper_. Lelouch planted this unknown pleasure in Suzaku's senses like a poison and regardless of the occasional fussing about discomfort – which is mostly just an effort to keep Lelouch's ego from bloating too much – he can't imagine continuing their sex life without it. It isn't even _just_ the superlative sensation; it's also the pure _connection_ between them that quells a strong, lonely emptiness in Suzaku in both the literal and metaphorical senses. Suzaku doesn't want to say that all of his emotional problems are simply _solved_ by Lelouch's penis (because that's just absurd), but sex, this entire relationship, with his dashing, brooding prince has made him feel almost _human_ again. Suzaku doesn't imagine that he'll ever feel this way about anyone else, that any other _man_ could satisfy him like Lelouch and he plans to never, _ever_ need know for sure. He wants Lelouch, and _only_ Lelouch.

Of course, this _novelty tail_ doesn't compare to Lelouch's strong _flesh_, being much too thin and thrusting only so far, but it certainly does the job that a pair of fingers could do just fine on their own. He can feel that tip he previously slathered with his tongue prod at his prostate, swiping over it with Lelouch's calculated precision that shocks hot excitement through Suzaku's blood until it bottles and bubbles in his sopping erection. All the pressure threatens to burst right of him and into Lelouch's tortuous mouth as he continues to lap and suck, his tongue a constant assault to Suzaku's sensitive flesh. Lelouch is almost too casual about it even though his actions intensify with harder, deeper sucks that pop moistly in Suzaku's ears and burn through his loins with pulsing pleasure that's licked up by a slithery tongue. It continually works with tormenting purpose; so soft and ruthless as it circles and sweeps over his leaking tip, tempting the orgasm right out of his body more and more each second.

Suzaku isn't sure he can take much more of this…

His hips are unsteady as his toes curl and his thighs compress the slurping head between them while squeezing around the tail that bumps his prostate just enough to bake his cook like eggs in a frying pan. It doesn't thrust aggressively or dive to the fullest depths but at Lelouch's hand it really does become a _devil_, leaving Suzaku craving so much more even as he rockets to heaven. Spurred by a pre-tremble volt of his oncoming collision with his climax, Suzaku tugs on Lelouch's hair as a warning, to stop everything before he reaches the point of no-return, but Lelouch only moves faster, even ignoring the gasping plea of his name. Suzaku hears his voice leaping from his throat in confused sounds, only the desperate, begging word to _stop_ rasps from his lips intact as his slightly panicked lungs rapidly shrink and grow.

Suzaku doesn't understand why Lelouch won't heed his _undeniable_ request and with his mind so distractedly trying to wrap around the boy in front of him, his orgasm rushes him like a surging surf, blanketing him in blinding bliss. He is suspended in his animated struggling, letting the shuddering flow consume him as his knees curl towards his chest and his hips jerk like the second hand on a clock as all the heavenly pressure jets from his body. On the clear edge of his mind, he's aware of Lelouch slipping off of his softening length to lean over the side of the bed, the evident sound of him spitting into the trash bin is heard, causing the younger boy to swallow dryly through his gaping mouth.

"…You didn't stop…" Suzaku pants almost as a question, sweeping the sweat on his brow up into his hair with one hand.

Lelouch looks at him with a smugly lifted eyebrow, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"You'd have rather I left you hanging?"

That isn't what Suzaku meant…

Lelouch _excavates_ the tail from Suzaku's body rather roughly, prompting him to grunt and grumpily jump on the new subject.

"And what was with that _tail?_" Suzaku demands to know, a scowl firmly in place.

Lelouch's ebony-haired head tilts, "Didn't think I was getting the _optimal_ amount of enjoyment out of my purchase. Thought _that_ would enhance the _experience_."

Suzaku gnashes his teeth together in a subtle hiss, "This isn't a game!"

Lelouch could've _asked_ or at least _warned_ him first!

…Never mind that Suzaku could've _stopped_ him if he _really_ wanted to!

"Don't fret. I'm taking this _very_ seriously." Lelouch seems to mock him like a snake flaunting its tongue as he retrieves lotion and a condom from the nightstand.

Suzaku watches him for a second through scrutinizing squinting before snatching the bottle from his partner's hand.

"Then take off your clothes," he pointedly declares with a mild glare, causing Lelouch to blink at him first and then smirk at him second.

Sometimes Lelouch is just so… _Lelouch_.

The brunet is shaking his head at his own tolerance to the other teen, looking at the bottle in his hand with a touch of hesitation – should he do _this_ part himself or let Lelouch take care of it like always…? Suzaku doesn't mind; in fact, he'd say he _likes_ when Lelouch does it, but does he always have to? Would it be weird if Suzaku just _did it_ himself? He hasn't done it before. He just grabbed the bottle without thinking and now he feels he's probably thinking too much…

Screw it.

Suzaku's just going to do it.

Besides, Lelouch is busy undressing.

He flips the cap, his nose instantly stuffed with the delicately sweet scent of vanilla that has forever branded Suzaku's senses with a sexual association every time the fragrance catches him. This is the only lubricant they've ever used because it's what Lelouch had and neither of them are mature enough to buy anything more suggestive, but Suzaku isn't complaining. He likes the aroma and doesn't see a need to change any time soon, especially now that it's tied to pleasant memories he can inhale as he squeezes a cold dollop onto the pads of his first two fingers. He spreads the lotion around his fingers, warming and coating them with his thumb, and glances at Lelouch from the corner of his eye to see the lad's torso is bare and working to make his lower half the same. Suzaku decides there's no time left to be nervous and that he's gone too far to turn back now, looking at his slathered fingers with different eyes.

Only, he realizes he doesn't know how to _approach_ this situation…

It's too awkward from the front, but it isn't more _graceful_ from the back, either.

After a brief moment of deliberation, Suzaku decides he's _deliberating_ too much and shifts to rest on his shins while elevating his bottom so he can slip his slickened hand around his side. His movements grab Lelouch's observant orbs, and even in the dark Suzaku can see the double-take those violets make when they digest _what_ it is he's doing. He swallows under that attentive stare, wondering what thoughts are tossing around behind it and if they can see just how much he's actually enjoying himself. This isn't the same feeling of Lelouch's care but it isn't as dreadful as Suzaku thought it would be, his body is relaxed and as eager to take in his fingers as if they do belong to Lelouch. Suzaku even hears a whisper of a moan flow from his lips in a steady stream as he massages his own inner walls, hips beginning to roll in calm, almost tranquil motions at the full feeling returning to him. Yet… it also feels a little dirty – _sinful_. Lelouch's watchful presence washes that undercurrent of embarrassment over Suzaku's skin, but it's gone as quickly as it comes when the bed bounces and the foil square in Lelouch's mouth is torn from his teeth.

Hands are roaming Suzaku's body once again and lips are pressing a flock of kisses over his shoulders, neck and face in an amorous onslaught that leads the soldier to believe Lelouch likes _very_ _much_ what he is seeing. Suzaku would ask, but it's not like he'd get an adequate response, and he doesn't want to bother with the redundant now as he is immersed in an ardent kiss and grabbing hands. One slinks up his flaming neck and nestles solidly in his hair as their tongues tango again while another hand sweeps around his back, fingertips skating down his arm to flirt with his _handy_ work until he is encouraged to roost on Lelouch's lap by a firm palm on his lower back. Suzaku sits in a snug sandwich of the steamed bedrail holding his weight and the lean body wedged between his legs, closing his knees tightly to keep it there, and the pressing fingers on his back decide to replace his fingers at their task. The second they enter Suzaku's body, he breaks from Lelouch's mouth with a crisp moan as if he's been waiting for nothing else, his frame practically buckling as his passage is more thoroughly stroked. He finds himself holding onto Lelouch as pleasure mounts his body again, throbbing in the rapid return of his erection and shared in his partner's covered and coated length that he can feel rubbing against him. Before too long, Suzaku is lifting his hips to be impaled on that hard flesh, one hand braced on the golden bar and the other on a pale shoulder with firm guidance from Lelouch.

"Does it still hurt?" Lelouch asks worriedly once Suzaku is settled, his brow folded into a troubled crease.

"Not as much as the first time," he admits quietly with a dissolving grimace, wrapping his arms around an ivory neck and taking a pacifying breath as he clenches in adjustment to the deep girth in his body before dropping his face closer to Lelouch's. "Just… try not to rush, ok?" Of course, this gentle murmur is requesting more than Lelouch keep it slow; it's also asking him to last longer, to make _it_ longer.

Lelouch appears to understand that as he dips his head in a faint nod, kissing Suzaku fully and deeply as he holds the seahorse in his arms. Suzaku doesn't know when they'll get a chance for this again and he wants to make the most of it – perhaps Lelouch is on the same page for he didn't even crack a quip at Suzaku's implication, and his beginning movements are measured, patient.

Suzaku never took Lelouch as a physical person, for obvious reasons, but he's turned out to be an aggressive and attentive lover who has yet to truly disappoint Suzaku – he may not last for very long, but it's the _quality_, not the _quantity_.

And Lelouch's quality is _superb_.

However, it took some time getting used to the way Lelouch _performs_.

He doesn't just have sex, he makes love.

It's almost too corny to believe, but Lelouch is as soft inside as he is hard on the outside. There are the times when their messing around only appears to be an animalistic urge, but Suzaku has observed that Lelouch is incapable of leaving their physical moments to be that shallow and meaningless, always needing to add a _personal touch_ one way or another. It became clear to Suzaku that every careful touch Lelouch makes and every kiss he takes are done for more than the fun, they're an expression of his heart, of the things he can't say out loud, and Suzaku has learned to accept that. He doesn't want to change Lelouch or even try to, even if that means never getting to hear those three, little words as often as he likes to say them. Lelouch prefers to _show_ his affection rather than _tell_ it, and that's perfectly fine. Anyway, he's grown fond of Lelouch's pampering in bed despite the dead eyes of his father telling him he shouldn't enjoy it, that he doesn't deserve it – but as this time passes with Lelouch, those eyes have begun to fade. Suzaku can lie underneath Lelouch now and not feel guilt pressing down on him as he is taken by the feelings of a boy who is too introverted to share them in words.

It is ironic, though, to have an eloquent boy rely on his actions while a boy who's inarticulate to rely on his words.

Still, Lelouch isn't any less bossy in bed than he is out of bed, and it's apparent to Suzaku that his handsome prince is happiest when he just lies under him like a _limp noodle_. Not romantic and not really fair, but Lelouch is still much too attached to his perceptions of power and control to allow Suzaku any sexual venturing of his own. Lelouch probably thinks he's hiding that fear well, but not well enough to fool Suzaku – or maybe Suzaku has just finally understood.

(_He'll never forget the time he gambled on pinching Lelouch's nipple when things were heating between the sheets only to receive a complete halt of action and a strangely fearsome stare along with a stern: "Don't do that."_

_"Because you don't like it?" Suzaku had asked, innocently enough._

_Lelouch only answered with another stern response of; "Don't do it." before resuming as if none of that had just happened._

_One would have to assume that Lelouch did not like it._)

When it comes to Lelouch, it's always about control _no matter what_. It isn't to say that he views Suzaku as less than an equal, it's just some paranoid distrust that's been left to stew in his brain with the betrayal of his father, resulting in a boy who is afraid to let go. It isn't even that he distrusts _Suzaku_, either; he just doesn't know _how_ to trust, _how_ to open up, or _how_ to properly express his deeper thoughts and feelings. But because Suzaku loves him and understands him, he'll be patient.

"Suzaku…?" Lelouch's concern-laden voice pours into Suzaku's ears. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah… why?"

Lelouch's expression is flatter than a tabletop, "For one: you didn't notice when we stopped moving. Two: you don't look like you're enjoying it."

"Since when did that stop you?"

"I'm a heartless lover. Funny."

He laughs a little under his breath, "…No, I was just thinking…"

"Hell of a time to pick up such a nasty habit."

Suzaku pushes him playfully—"What if I told you…"—only to draw closer with a smile—"that I was thinking about how much I loved you?"

Lelouch appears to consider that with a lift of his eyebrow.

"In that case, maybe you should refocus that energy somewhere _else_."—he squeezes Suzaku's round rear—"You know, somewhere more proactive. Where it won't be wasted."

"Oh, I'm a dunce. Funny."

Lelouch grins, "I think so."

Suzaku shakes his head but accepts the kiss Lelouch mischievously presses against the humored curve on his lips, hugging the _demon_ close to his chest.

…At any rate, their sex situation works well as a whole because Suzaku doesn't mind being whatever Lelouch wants and Lelouch doesn't mind _making_ him be whatever he wants.

They're truly made for each other.

Like a sculptor and clay.

But that's always been the reality.

That's how it began.

Beyond their rocky start as children, their reunion as restless teenagers brought something different to the table; brought the past seven years they hadn't shared and an uncertain future they both feared to lose. Suzaku, especially, wasn't sure how much longer he'd be walking the face of the Earth and fell into Lelouch's advances through some initially impure motives.

Lelouch was the initiator, he's always been the initiator, always been the one with the idea, to make the first move and take the first step towards his ambition whatever it might be. When Lelouch gambled their friendship on an uncertain kiss, Suzaku ultimately felt that he didn't have the right to let Lelouch be alone with those feelings because he knew Lelouch wouldn't squander their relationship on a whim, not with his emotional struggles. Suzaku knew Lelouch was serious. His own feelings for the older boy were muddled and obscured by the veil of guilt he constantly wore, which hastily brought him to Lelouch's bed without much resistance.

Even the simple fact that they're the same gender didn't weigh any confusion on the situation because Suzaku was too distracted by Lelouch being his _best friend_ – once he realized he wasn't hung up on gender, it gave him less reason to hesitate. Suzaku was surprised at himself at how little a hurtle it was to overcome and it felt – _feels_ – so natural to be with Lelouch in every sense; the feeling of Lelouch's hands on his body, of their sliding skin, and even Lelouch's _wheezing_… He doesn't know how Lelouch came to terms with his sexuality – maybe he always knew – only that Lelouch was also a virgin regardless of how his boldness tried to hide the nervousness or say otherwise.

That first night they spent together was the result of Suzaku feeling all he had to offer was _himself_, so he gave himself wholeheartedly, hoping Lelouch would at least have something to treasure when death finally came between them, that Lelouch wouldn't hurt as much when he was gone. But when one night turned into two and three, spreading to the daylight hours…

Suzaku realized he probably wasn't going anywhere soon, and he realized that he was beginning to love Lelouch too much to want to, or perhaps he realized he always loved Lelouch and was only recently allowing himself to accept it – because Lelouch deserved someone better than him. But, the boy made his choice and he wasn't going to let Suzaku go without a fight – he wasn't going to lose _anyone_ else if he could help it – and he's been victorious in his battle.

The _Zero_ problem is still here, still lurking behind every smile Lelouch makes, but…

Maybe Suzaku would like to go back to second-guessing himself. At least until he's ready to confront that ugly truth.

Sometimes he just wants enjoy the ride without analyzing every detail to death.

That tiring job can be left to Lelouch.

At this point in time, Suzaku has forgotten everything – his pregnancy, the Zone, how to properly breathe – as he bounces on Lelouch's lap like a jockey on a horse whilst racing to the finish. Suzaku had asked the other boy to not rush, and even though they were slow to start like he wanted, they've quickly become caught in a swarm of hormones they are helpless to control, but Suzaku is past the point of caring. Maybe the oral sex from before is speeding his interest now and making him focus like a laser-beam or maybe it's all the restlessness that's been quietly snowballing inside of him like a brewing storm – Suzaku can't really say for sure, although it's probably a combination of the two. All he knows for certain is that his ravenous body can't get enough of the hips ramming into his bottom with propelling thrusts that have him unconsciously creeping up the bed rail as if it will bring him to his peak faster.

He recognizes only a slight pain in his back as it rubs and bends over the hard metal, using it like a crutch to brace himself along with his feet rooted into the twisting blankets and the steel grips he has on Lelouch's shoulder and the rail itself. His supportive muscles are thundering hotly under his skin with tight tension that drips from his pores in salty sweat, although some of the strain is relieved by the Lelouch's hands that are shackled crudely to his knees and help keep him afloat in their choppy love-making. Suzaku's hips try to catch the brunt of it like shock absorbers as Lelouch's pace only quickens, a maddening repetition that pounds his prostate and dives deeply with every lunge. That _achingly_ apparent emptiness gnawing at Suzaku's insides is pushed farther and farther away every time Lelouch thrusts into his clenching walls, stretching and filling him so divinely he doesn't want to let it slip out again even though it's fast to return. He can't help but constrict his snaky friend's erection once it buries completely inside him, his lustful body too greedy now that he's so close to his climax he can see it blur in his vision.

Lelouch clings to Suzaku during the balancing act as if on his last leg, their chests brushing as he belts an arm around the rocking body in front of him and he whips his hips up in rigorous thrusts that pummel Suzaku's senses with ecstasy. His heart is thrashing in his ribcage from all the excitement as if it's counting down to the big moment and he can feel his boiling blood rush throughout his body, draining into his cock where it throbs impatiently, angrily. Suzaku wants to grab the needy thing between his legs, to feed its flaring frustration with feverous jerks until he _milks_ himself dry, but he can't risk losing his balance and Lelouch is too a crucial support beam to offer a _helping hand_. Fortunately, Suzaku is close enough to the brink to focus all of his energy into their bucking hips as his mind soars through clouds, leaving most of his perceptions in the dust. He's not even aware that his dry mouth is hanging open, letting light drops of nasally cries spear through the air in an effort to trap oxygen and the seahorse even nearly _nays_ once his orgasm hits. It drags him back down to his own body as it convulses in the tingling shores of rapturous release, body stiff before dropping limply back onto Lelouch's lap, the two of them riding down from heaven in sticky, twitching, breathless bodies.

Suzaku huffs contently in Lelouch's arms and yet he can't quite shake the sense of _incompletion_ wriggling inside his body at the lack of feeling a certain _something_ thanks to a certain _condom_, and he's a little bummed to not have it. This isn't the first time for them to have sex with protection, and this new brand keeps it from feeling like Lelouch is wrapped in plastic, but the sensation is still fresh in Suzaku's mind and he misses it. Needless to say, it was true when Lelouch (almost) said Suzaku likes the way it feels when he… _releases_. It's embarrassing enough to admit liking it alone, but at the time – their _first_ time – Lelouch had done it as an accident due to absent thought and almost instantly apologized when it caught up to him, but Suzaku assured him it wasn't a problem, that he _kind of_ liked it… Suzaku surely didn't think Lelouch would make a habit of it after that, but he can't complain because Lelouch was just trying to please him and it isn't as though Suzaku was _unable_ to stop him. It really did please him, and he only learned to like it more with time like some acquired taste. It's not so much because of the flooding heat – which does make things _uncomfortable_ later – but because of the closeness. To feel his _partner's_ orgasm burst within him from bliss they were able to bring each other is a single brand of intimacy that stands all on its own. Suzaku isn't sure if he can ever explain that to Lelouch or if he even wants to, not that Suzaku is afraid of scaring him off at this point, but it just doesn't seem like something he can express in words…

"…I love you…" Suzaku quietly puffs into Lelouch's ear through sweaty strings of dark hair, holding the older boy in a tight embrace, never wanting him to be anywhere else. "I love you. I love you. I love you. I _love_ you." In moments like these he feels he'll never be able to say this enough times, like it will take him an entire lifetime to tell Lelouch just _how strongly_ and _how much_ he really loves him while not expecting to hear it in return. Suzaku knows Lelouch well enough to not need to hear it. "…So much." The introverted male always mirrors the emotion with a gentle gesture; this time being a soft sweep over Suzaku's spine and a kiss on his neck.

He rests on Lelouch's lap for a long, relaxed moment wherein they can hear – acknowledge – the chaos Lelouch spread over the campus like mass hysteria; cries and shouts shooting in the distance outside or echoing throughout the clubhouse's halls. It feels so far away despite being so close, as if he and Lelouch are invisible or in a secret place, existing in a realm hidden by curtains of which only the two of them know the location. Such an isolated feeling would be daunting if he was alone but with Lelouch, it doesn't seem half as bad as it would otherwise (like it _had_ after his father died…). Suzaku takes comfort in concentrating only on the heart beating in Lelouch's chest as it patters against his skin until the demon becomes antsy, squirming to clean up so he can relax more comfortably.

As Lelouch peels off the condom and wipes _both_ of them with tissues, Suzaku is able to take a gander at him for a moment, at the unconstructed view of his _princely_ body – something he doesn't get to do as often as he should. Lelouch has a tendency to obscure himself and Suzaku doesn't know if it's on _purpose_ or if the other male just does it without thinking. Either way, he wishes Lelouch wouldn't be so compulsive about it. Lelouch is a person who has a very high opinion of himself but that doesn't mean he comes without insecurities and anything physically related will be doused in complexes of all kinds, even though he'll always deny it. It's not as though Lelouch should worry about his appearance, however, because Lelouch is beautiful – _handsome_, as he'd rather be called. He might be lacking serious muscle definition, his bones might protrude too much, and his skin might reflect the ability to tan, but he's still stunning. His eyes are unreal and intense, his voice is strong enough to turn tides without lifting a finger, his mind is too brilliant for his own good, and he certainly doesn't need to worry about his _private_ department. Lelouch is perfect in his own mold, with all of his faults and weaknesses as well as his strengths and talents.

In fact, Suzaku feels intimidated when they bare it all.

He isn't shy about his body, even in bed due to them becoming comfortable with each other very quickly, almost as if they didn't have the luxury to spare time on insecurities and self-consciousness. Perhaps the fact that they're both male played a part in their lack of modesty; if they share the same parts, then logically, there shouldn't be a need or reason to be embarrassed. Even so, there's always an anxious, nervous tremor in Suzaku's body when his clothes are stripped away, leaving behind a rosy dust on his skin as he's exposed to physical, intimate pleasure. This feeling worsens when Suzaku is reminded of how _perfect_ Lelouch really is. His skin is always smooth and soft, virtually acne free (Suzaku wishes he could say the same… and that it's _only_ on his face) with a mole, freckle, or scar here and there on his body, and he isn't excessively hairy – although, Suzaku has that much in common. Lelouch doesn't have facial hair (perhaps a little peach-fuzz) or any offending spawns on his back or shoulders, but there is a thin patch of black strands on his chest and a clean trail from his bellybutton to the dark nest on his crotch which is tamed to be neat and trim in a manner that makes Suzaku _frequently_ think he should start doing his own _maintenance_.

Lelouch has always _shown_ great appreciation for Suzaku's body, of course, but often wonders what exactly it is about him that Lelouch _appreciates_ so much.

…It better be something _romantic_ rather than _sexual_.

Suzaku is taken from his fond gazing when Lelouch tugs on the blanket for them to burrow underneath, returning to settle between Suzaku's legs instead of crawling over to his side of the bed. His soft hands skim over Suzaku's hips, curling around them as he tenderly presses his lips on a pregnant abdomen, peppering light, abundant kisses that make the seahorse smile. Suzaku runs his fingers through Lelouch's hair, petting the affectionate head with both hands and a content sigh as he relishes the loving attention he's _positive_ the little one in his tummy can feel.

He just hopes it didn't feel _anything_ else.

"Do you think everything will turn out alright for us?" Suzaku asks suddenly and softly, unable to keep his fears separate from his thoughts of their baby. "Do you think the baby will be alright?"

So far the checkups are going as smoothly as Suzaku could've hoped for, but the baby is still small and regardless of all the positive thinking he tries to cushion himself with, there's that haunting doubt that keeps sneaking up on him. It's alarming enough to have his doctor appointments more frequently than usual compared to other mothers, and now it's been increased to each week rather than every two – although that _is_ more often he gets to see his budding baby. Even Doctor Sanica says that everything looks normal, so why is Suzaku still worried—?

"_I don't think I need to stress to you the risks you'll face with this…you're not built for pregnancy, Suzaku."_

—Because Lelouch was right with that warning just as the doctor is with her close surveillance.

Things look great _now_, but the end to their story could be an unfavorable one.

"Hard to say," Lelouch murmurs softly into Suzaku's taut naval with a kiss after glancing up at the uneasy question—"But…"—he continues, slowly pecking up the toned stomach—"…if small fry is as stubborn as we are…"—trailing along a breast bone—"…I don't think there's a chance it'll give up without a fight…"—pressing over a clavicle and up a neck—"…or give in to the laws of nature." The kisses stop on Suzaku's cheek so he can peer down into green eyes, "Regardless of the outcome, I think we can pull through this together." and then cement his words on Suzaku's lips with a full, wholehearted kiss.

It isn't the first time Lelouch has uttered similar words, but it's no less reassuring to hear. They fill Suzaku with those _three_ words again that are urging to fizzle out of his mouth and into Lelouch's ears, but with the lips pressed firmly against his and the nature of the clam he's smooching with, Suzaku decides it's just fine to not speak his feeling again. He coils his arms tightly, invitingly around Lelouch's neck instead, returning the kiss deeply and lovingly without even bothering to mention that the Halloween evening is still in full swing. He knows Lelouch would rather stay in bed, even at this early hour, and Suzaku does, too. The rest of the world can move on without them for now as they snuggle in the warm darkness and breathe in each other's company. Suzaku only wishes to make the same promise as he curls up next to Lelouch and lies his head on a bony shoulder.

He wants to stick with Lelouch for better or for worse.

_Regardless_ of the outcome…

* * *

How was it seeing things mostly from Suzaku's mind for a change? All I know is I highly doubt Suzaku and Lelouch would be "permitted" to continue having sex in their situation, but that would be less fun.

No m-preg fic is truly complete without cross-dressing and no Lelouch is truly complete without angst – I know I said things would get less serious (or more stupid), but it won't disappear completely. And I think we can all agree (_especially_ Lelouch) that Suzaku is _well overdue_ for time spent frolicking around in a dress. The boy likes it anyway so he really shouldn't complain, because it's not like Lelouch (or myself) is going to listen – and it's not like I'll stop writing it, either.

_Suzie Q_: (because I think this might be chiefly American) slang for a girl who is a real goody two-shoes.

Welp, I hope you enjoyed the read! See all of you next chapter!


	7. The Difference between Boys and Girls

I seem to open with apologies on practically every chapter. I've decided to stop doing that. It's bad for business. Either just update on time or keep my excuses to myself, right? Right. (…But you still forgive me, right?)

I also decided it's time to get reconnected with the crackier roots of this story…

Review reply for Gee-gee:

A lurking reader? It's so nice to know you like the story! I like a jealous Lelouch, too. He's too possessive and protective to share! I'm glad you liked the lemon. It got a little tricky for me to explain it, their position, comprehensively without ruining to tone (still kinda wonder about that, though) ^^;. I'm also growing more and more fond of mommy-Suzaku and can't wait to write him deeper in his pregnancy. Also, as a rule of thumb, everyone should probably be afraid of Milly ;3. This chapter wasn't quite like the one before it, it also didn't take quite as long, but I hope you enjoy it just as much! Thanks for the review! XD

* * *

"…_Let me tell you something about Bat Man, ok? He's the same as the rest of these guys around here; they're afraid of women. They're afraid of the almighty uterus! ALMIGHTY UTERUS!" _–_Wonder Woman_ from_ Robot Chicken_

•-•-•-•-•-•-7

Ambiguous

The Difference between Boys and Girls

Everything is too calm.

Lelouch doesn't know if he's harboring a healthy suspicion or if paranoia is trying to sabotage the peace – the quiet before the (possible) storm.

As far as the home front is concerned, he can't find reason to complain. Suzaku has eased on the Zero issue, probably because now all he can seem to think about is the baby, which Lelouch doesn't mind. Admittedly, even Lelouch has caught himself floating away on daydreams every now and then, but Suzaku is much more distracted… and that actually worries Lelouch a little because being spacey is that _last_ thing Suzaku needs to be. It's almost like he's turning into a walking cliché of a pregnant mother – Lelouch is just waiting for the days riddled with stomach-turning food cravings and nausea, which will probably strike in that order. Overall, the pregnancy is treating Suzaku well, and Lelouch couldn't ask for anything more.

Nunnally has begun to perk up noticeably now that Lelouch is devoting more and more time to her, mostly in the evenings. They eat dinner together daily now, a ritual that has been suffering since Zero's birth, and he puts her to bed each night. The time isn't terribly long, but every second is used to catch up, to listen to Nunnally as she happily chatters like a spring-time bird, and Lelouch is feeling less and less stressed. Suzaku is even beginning to come home early enough to dine with them due to the Zone work finally falling into a manageable rhythm.

The daytime is still filled with school, club duties, and Zero, but even that is starting to balance itself out better now that his studious pupil, Ohgi, is showing more self-confidence and picking up more slack. Lelouch knew he'd made the right choice to make the man his second in command; he has a good heart, all he needed was to be given the chance, to learn the trade of politics, to find that inner strength in order to become a true leader, and he has only continued to grow even if in the smallest ways. He's on the road to out-growing Zero and letting Japan have a new hope to rely on, which is a destination that _might_ be closer than it is far…

Even _Britannia_ is still behaving itself in this whole affair, _suspiciously_ so, but behaved nonetheless. Since their little debacle, China has been like a sleeping giant, one Lelouch is keeping a _very_ close eye on, but perhaps they're just waiting to see what _really_ comes of the Special Administrative Zone like the rest of the watching world.

…But all this _goodness_ only drives Lelouch's danger senses wild.

The Universe has never been this kind to him, so that must mean it's _planning_ _something_.

Lelouch's first taste of impending doom is one evening early on the Friday after Halloween when Milly sends him a suspicious text concerning an emergency student council meeting (without any _real_ sense of urgency, as far as he could tell) and that he needed to bring Suzaku along…

•-•

"SURPRISE!"

—Is the ear-splitting greeting Lelouch and Suzaku are subjected to upon entering the student council room. Pops of confetti fill the air in an excited frenzy as pastel pink and blue balloons lazily sway around the room with a banner hanging happily across the windows, apparently _congratulating_ someone. There is a cake on the table with decorations on it that Lelouch can't quite see and a stuffed bear of some kind beside it… All he can seem to comprehend is the horrendous gleam oozing from every pore of Milly's face as she shows every tooth in her giant, giddy smile.

So, Lelouch was mistaken.

It wasn't the Universe that was teasing his paranoia.

If anything, it was his _Milly_ sense that was tingling!

He certainly thought it possible that she'd get some revenge on him for his Halloween stunt, but he didn't imagine anything like this…

He doesn't even understand what _this_ is.

"What's going on?" he hears Suzaku ask _without_ _any_ _caution_ weighing down the delighted surprise prancing on his words. Lelouch quickly notes all the smiling faces of those who call themselves his friends – only Nina looks disgruntled, but more so than usual… Nunnally is even here, beaming, but that smile isn't as soothing as it should be for the innately wary boy – all it does it is intensify the churning sense of danger in his gut.

"A surprise baby shower!" Milly exclaims, brimming with pride that shocks Lelouch like a lightning bolt, temporarily short-circuiting the part of his brain needed to react to this moment with blinding bluntness he should have seen coming.

Of course.

A surprise baby shower.

.

.

.

~…System reboot…

~…Threat detected—

~DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!

Lelouch opens his mouth to—

"How did you know I was pregnant?"

—That's not what Lelouch was going to say, but thanks, _Suzaku_.

Lelouch wasn't about to _defuse_ the situation, or anything productively preventative like that.

It isn't like Lelouch is _good_ at that sort of thing.

…Suzaku really _pounced_ right on that one, didn't he?

Is there anything his mouth _can't_ spill?

Didn't Lelouch tell Suzaku to _work_ on that?

Britannia should hope Suzaku never get's captured by enemies because he'd probably spill every secret without even being _asked_ to!

(And the Idiot Award goes to… Suzaku!

Like there was even a competition…)

Lelouch can't even catch up to the stupidity fast enough, but when he painstakingly pulls himself up from the verbal slap of Suzaku's confession, he notices a peculiar frame over everyone's faces, as if they're not sure if it's a joke or not…

For the love of God, let the pregnancy _be a joke_ _for_ _once_. That's _all_ Lelouch is asking for – since he can only seem to cringe as Milly's jolly chuckling steals his chance to speak—

"You can't be serious," she says with a smirking huff and playful flap of her hand.

The dooming redness torching Suzaku's face causes her to double-take with a skeptical twist of her features while everyone else's smiles finally wane.

Suzaku is overly honest even when he _doesn't_ speak.

Perfect.

It must be impossible to wash the stupid off of his face.

Milly realizes that Suzaku couldn't be _more_ serious and Lelouch begin to leak nervous sweat – why is this room _so hot_? It bakes a lump in his throat so large it's almost as if he's having an allergic reaction (…to the sheer idiocy?), and now he can't find his voice like some socially inept outcast.

"…So Miss Euphemia _isn't_ the one who's pregnant?" Shirley asks quietly, her voice wavering with confusion that rolls over Lelouch's skin like a blizzard.

Suzaku avoids eye-contact as the mortified flush consumes his face during everyone's stifling silence, their brains struggling to comprehend the situation. Lelouch is struggling to understand why he's just standing here while Suzaku – his _partner_ – is burying himself with every word he _doesn't_ speak. It almost feels like a defense mechanism he can't control, an attachment to his brain through years of remaining as invisible as possible without suspicion, especially in moments of public revelations. Lelouch would probably, normally, use moments like these to his advantage for escape, but he can't – and _won't_ – do that to Suzaku. He loves the _idiot_ enough to _accept_ idiocy… However, there isn't much Lelouch can say now to salvage the situation with his attempts sounding like an obvious lie, and trying to just play this off as some kind of joke or misunderstanding would never work… even if their friends were nice enough to play along, and if they didn't already know half the story. The joke angle is a sad excuse for cover-up story.

Though, it is a tempting dream…

And, obviously, Geass is out of the question.

Milly's brow crosses with confusion, "Well don't tell me _Euphemia_ is the _father!_" she utters incredulously and a bit more _seriously_ than is appropriate from her words.

The seahorse is beyond any ability to speak with hunched shoulders and eyes stuck to the floor as if wishing it is an ocean that would swallow him whole… Lelouch doesn't want to, but he can't leave Suzaku to suffer this alone – and it's not like there's any value left in keeping things a secret now that everyone _knows_ he's pregnant.

The _most intelligent_ of the pair slowly steps towards his dimwitted pal, feeling his body boil with nerves and steels his face to remain emotionless as he wraps his arm around Suzaku's waist.

"No, _she_ isn't."

•-•

"…I still don't understand why you assumed Suzaku was the one expecting a baby just because he retrieved the book," Lelouch languidly says to Milly at his left, sitting to Suzaku's left at the head of the table in the "daddy" chair signified by a blue balloon, Suzaku of course is in the "mommy" chair indicated with a pink balloon they had to quickly attach. "He could have been picking up the book for a friend."

Milly was gracious enough to explain herself, and her reasoning is easy enough to follow… but it seems like she jumped to too many conclusions all on her own, like she let her imagination get the better of her (although the truth is exponentially more _fanciful_). The connection between Suzaku and Euphemia is pretty solid, and the sudden resignation of her title points to some secret scandal, but there aren't any _facts_ to support this theory, which is pretty typical. Milly even revealed she didn't involve Lelouch in the "surprise baby shower" because she thought he would spill the beans, intentionally or not.

Turns out _Suzaku_ is the only one to do anything like that.

Thankfully, no one asked when Lelouch and Suzaku were planning on sharing the big news… or how it happened.

Even their relationship is self-explanatory, for the time being.

"_Thank you!_" Rivalz exasperatedly utters from beside Milly with his hands thrown up in the air. "That's exactly what _I've_ been saying!"

Milly ignores him, looking only at Lelouch.

"What friend?" to her credit, she honestly tries not to laugh, just not very hard – the fact that she's unafraid to jeer while within his reach is insulting. "All that was left was _you_ and I highly doubt you'd get a girl pregnant."

There's a bit of a sting to that remark – did she think Lelouch was incapable because she suspected his sexuality or because he simply doesn't have the skill?

Well, he _totally_ has the skill.

So… _in her face_.

"You're right about that, at least. I didn't get a _girl_ pregnant." Lelouch smirks, hooking an arm around Suzaku's waist with a promiscuous pull to bring him closer, making said boy blush a little as he pokes his fork at the small slice of cake Lelouch _allowed_ him (because it's _nothing_ but sugar!), trying to shake off Lelouch as if he _hasn't_ heard a word.

"How did you even find out that you're gonna have a baby?" Rivalz asks, his puzzlement clearly connected in his voice.

That's a fair question.

"Oh, well, random drug test," Suzaku answers, clearly unsure how much he really needs to embellish.

"They can tell that from a drug test?" the blue-haired boy swoops in with another stupefied question, amazement stretching his eyes open.

"How do you think at-home pregnancy tests work?" Lelouch teases with a mild quirk of his lips. "They're both urine tests."

Rivalz's mouth drops open like a fish, thinking of a response, and then it shuts with a coy smile as he laughs at his own lack of thought.

"So, then…" Shirley timidly dips her toe into the conversation, perched beside Suzaku, "how far are you? Or, you know, how old is the baby?"

"Um…" Suzaku's leafy eyes flutter around as he mentally counts the weeks, his gaze falling to Lelouch in either uncertainty or fear of giving the wrong answer – if only Suzaku would check with Lelouch more often _before_ speaking.

"Eleven weeks," Lelouch suavely answers for his absentminded partner, as self-satisfied as a cat with its mangled dinner.

"Only eleven weeks?" Nunnally playfully whines between Lelouch and Milly. "I'm ready to be an aunt now! Why do I have to wait so long?"

Lelouch chuckles warmly, light and fluffy spurts in his throat, and he momentarily grasps her hand.

"That's right!" Suzaku abruptly bursts like a popped balloon. "We have ultrasound images of the baby; does anyone want to see them?" Suzaku has apparently forgotten that Nunnally is blind, but everyone is polite enough – or smart enough – to not question how he drew this connection from what _Nunnally_ just said.

Lelouch knows Suzaku didn't mean anything by it and that Nunnally has taken no offense.

Suzaku's just an idiot, after all.

"Ultrasound?" Kallen asks, looking less ill than she normally tries to as she slouches at Shirley's right.

"You mean from a doctor?" the orange-haired girl questions, insultingly confused.

Suzaku's excitement falters, "Uh…"

"Yes, who else?" Lelouch answers with his nose turned up _just_ slightly. "I know this situation is strange, but we're not so careless that we'd go through this without professional help just because this is abnormal. What kind of parents would that make us?"

Milly is grinning, "No one was trying to insult you, Vice Prez. The idea of two boys going to prenatal visits is like asking everyone to notice the two of you. Not to mention Suzaku is well known now."

Suzaku simpers, "Well, we're _discreet_ about it, if that's what you're trying to say."

"Discreet?" Rivalz tilts his head.

Once again, Suzaku's mouth is empty – why couldn't he have been like this _earlier?_

"He wears a disguise," Lelouch simply explains.

"Disguise?" Rivalz asks.

"Just like Milly said, two guys can't walk into that kind of doctor visit without getting noticed. In order to avoid unwanted attention, we don't go as _two boys_." Pink is already climbing up Suzaku's cheeks, but Lelouch is complacently smirking to himself, looking at his _fair lady_ with an unbridled glimmer.

"Don't tell me…!" Milly nearly gasps with excitement.

"Suzaku dresses as a girl." Lelouch should probably feel guilty about how much it pleases him to see the _feared Lancelot pilot_ shrink into himself and redden like a ripe apple, but he isn't.

"I _knew_ it!" Milly ecstatically exclaims, hungrily leaning over the table towards Suzaku from her seat. "You really have a thing for women's clothes, don't you?"

"It's not a _thing!_" Suzaku squawks, looking like a little ruffled, red bird. "It's just…"

"But you said you thought it was fun before." Milly _gladly_ recalls the past – once again, Suzaku is done in by his own mouth, only it's _past_ comments this time.

"That's…!" Suzaku can't wriggle out of this, and he apparently knows it because he shrivels into himself all over again with hot embarrassment colouring his face and incomprehensible mutters dribbling from his lips.

Lelouch affectionately rubs the humiliation into Suzaku's back, "He goes by _Suzie_, and so far no one has recognized him."

"Now it makes sense…" Nunnally suddenly speaks, her soft face hardened slightly by reflection. "Alice told me she saw Lelouch with a girl a few weeks ago at a clinic," she begins to explain, feeling empty stares on her, "but I knew that big brother was already involved with Suzaku."

"Alice _saw_ us?" Lelouch briskly scrambles onto this new scrap of information. "When? What was she doing there?"

Perhaps his eagerness is too emphatic, because it almost looks like Nunnally _blinks_ at him.

"…She said her sisters work at the clinic you go to and she sometimes goes there after school. She saw the two of you leaving, I think."

_Sisters?_

_At… clinic…?_

_Saw them…_

"I'm sorry that you're upset," Nunnally apologizes, and the sound of her gentle voice wrapped around those words jolts Lelouch back to the moment.

"No, don't apologize," he guiltily and vainly tries to un-hear her sad tone. "I'm just surprised…"

_Alice…_

He _knew_ that girl was only trouble.

"Quite an interesting development," Milly chimes in, so _thrilled_ with everything that her mirth is like an angry sore inside Lelouch's stomach. "Maybe I'll have to have a chat with that girl…"

"Spare at least _one_ person from your nosiness for once, would you, _Madam President?_" Lelouch jadedly teases with a lazy grin.

She scrunches her nose at him in a defiant, sassy gesture.

"…Anyway, does anyone want to see the ultrasounds?" Suzaku awkwardly asks to reroute back to forgotten topic, pushing himself up from his chair when everyone answers in the affirmative—

Halting when his arm is caught by Lelouch.

"Sit down, I'll get them for you," he orders in a tender tone, pointedly waiting for Suzaku to do as he was commanded by sitting with a loving upward bend of his lips. Lelouch also earns a couple of sweet and mocking croons that he tries to ignore while he stands.

"Aren'cha gonna kiss him before you go?" Milly bluntly goads, her lusty eyes showing a bit too much. "Oh! Wait, we need some pictures of the happy couple. Sit back down and—!"

"That's not happening," Lelouch dully rejects.

"All I'm asking for is one, little, _measly_ kiss," Milly's lips pout, but that doesn't stop Lelouch from walking away from her.

"Not. Happening."

"Suzaku~! Knock some sense into your stubborn hubby over there, won't you?" she tries to wheedle the pregnant boy.

"Sorry…" but all Suzaku has to offer is a pitying laugh and shrug as Lelouch leaves the room to retrieve the desired digital prints, and it draws a smirk along Lelouch's lips.

_There's a good boy._

•-•

"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?" Shirley gushes at Suzaku, an oddly happy expression on her face now that she's grown used to the idea of his pregnancy and pawing at the ultrasound pictures like everyone else… except Nunnally. "Which would you rather have?"

"We don't know yet. And I guess I don't have a preference." Suzaku shrugs. "I just want it to be healthy whatever it is."

Lelouch would have to agree.

He just hopes _it_ is human at this point.

Shirley coos sweetly at that, "What about names?"

"Oh, we already have names picked out for both genders."

Milly, Shirley, and Rivalz's ears are all over that little announcement whereas Kallen, who is interested _enough_, and Nina certainly aren't holding their breath. Actually, Lelouch is convinced Nina isn't even paying attention due to her eyes stuck at the end of her fork as she prods her half-eaten piece of white cake. But, at least she's _here_…

"What are they?" asks the meddling blonde.

Suzaku opens his mouth—

"It's a secret," Lelouch answers – there's no way he's going to let these degenerates ruin their baby name picks (he also doesn't want to get into the reasoning behind their choices, either) – with his arm slung around Suzaku, a hand closed tightly over his mouth.

If Lelouch and Suzaku could be like this all the time, it would solve _a lot_ of problems.

"Boo~!" Milly gives him a thumbs down while pinching her nose.

Rivalz laughs, "Yeah, what's the big deal?"

"Please tell us!" Shirley clasps her hands together.

"No can do." Lelouch firmly shakes his head. "You'll just have to wait until the baby is born."

"Or until I can get Suzaku alone in my prying clutches," Milly smirks like a feral animal, eyes practically gobbling Suzaku where he sits.

Said soldier laughs in shakes of discomfort when Lelouch's hand drops from his mouth to hang limply around his neck, allowing him to take a nervous sip of his water as he averts his eyes.

Knowing Suzaku, he'd probably spill them easily enough… like he almost just did before Lelouch stopped him.

_This tiring idiot…_

"I know what names they picked," Nunnally unexpectedly taunts behind a crafty curve that doesn't look as at home on her lips as it does Lelouch – yes, Lelouch told Nunnally about their selected names, how could he _not?_ – and three pairs of eyes flock to her like the knowledge is written on her forehead. "But I pinky promised big brother I would keep it a secret!" she's really taking too much pleasure in her tortuous teasing. Lelouch is going to blame Milly for that.

Three disappointed groans fill the room as their owners deflate with disappointed sighs. Nunnally couldn't be more pleased – maybe she's actually getting that from _him_, now that he thinks about it.

•-•

At some point during the festivities of baby games and fluid conversation, Milly attempts a subtle steal of Suzaku, but he's part of a permanent pair, so Lelouch is on their heels the _second_ she has him literally cornered across the room.

"What are trying to do to him?" Lelouch gruffly interrogates with a firm face.

Milly doesn't even blink when she looks at him over her shoulder, "Just giving Suzaku a little something."

Suzaku is indeed holding a white, slim, rectangular package tied shut with a pink, billowy bow.

"I thought you said you guys only got the gift certificate." Lelouch narrows his eyes on the box. He knows this can't be good – nothing involving Milly ever is.

"Yes, but this is a _personal_ item that I purchased for a certain pretty lady, but I don't see why Suzaku can't still have it, especially considering how things are working out."

Milly doesn't smirk, but it can't be any clearer in her tone or the sparkle in her eye.

Lelouch wants to rip the box from Suzaku's hands and chuck it out the window, just to be safe, but he knows Milly would love nothing more than to see him lose his cool. All he can do is quietly fester and seethe as he watches Suzaku open the present through an eagle eye.

"It's ironic," the she-devil says out of nowhere and he glances at her.

"What is?" Lelouch asks.

"I've finally got some dirt regarding you, and yet, it doesn't feel as good as I thought it would…" her voice is wistful, and for once her face is soft and _human_ looking when he looks her way again.

"That's what happens when you delude yourself," Lelouch cattily quips, causing Milly to stick out a mocking tongue at him.

"Uh… What is this?" Suzaku asks with a light pink, suggestive, satiny, _lingerie_ trimmed with some fuzzy-feathery nonsense pinched in his fingers as if it might be diseased.

…It _is_ a present from Milly.

"What?" the president proudly defends. "Who says a pregnant woman _doesn't_ want to feel and look sexy?"

_That would have to depend on your definition of "sexy."_

"…That's very thoughtful of you," Suzaku politely replies, placing the skimpy article back in the box with a kind smile.

"I hope it fits you," she grins at him with a cheeky smile. "Keep in mind I thought I was buying for someone else. But, I have the receipt if you'd like to exchange it for something that's _your_ style of sexy."

In Lelouch's opinion, Suzaku's style of sexy is his _birthday suit_.

"Tell me you weren't _honestly_ going to give that _thing_ to Euphie." Lelouch is already disgusted with the mental image alone that he couldn't fight off from his mind – _good God_ how he _honestly_ tried to fight it.

"Like I said, what woman doesn't want to feel sexy?"

Lelouch is about retort, but he reminds himself that this is Milly, so there's no sense in a sane debate.

She'd only like to get him riled up, anyway.

"Thank you for the present," Suzaku says with a hand on Lelouch's shoulder – as if he needs this _emotional_ soldier to tell him to watch his temper.

"I do hope _Suzie_ enjoys it," Milly says with a wink before sashaying her cocky self back to the others.

As she leaves them in silence, they both finally understand why she decided Suzaku could still use the lingerie…

Suzaku's eyes flop to the box suspended in his hands, a flat but troubled line in his lips.

"I don't really have to wear this, do I?"

If the boy didn't want to wear it, he shouldn't have accepted it.

Lelouch would've asked for the receipt, not that he expects he'd actually get it.

"She _did_ go to the trouble of buying it…" he answers with a sly smile – maybe this _will_ be good entertainment. "I think you owe her _one_ time, at least."

•-•

Some hours later after the layers of cake and questions calmed into a mellow mood, Lelouch reenters the club room after putting Nunnally to bed to see Suzaku sitting quietly on the couch by himself. His eyes are hooded as he softly stares at the others who are regaling in stories and jokes that have strayed from the theme of the party, seemingly too absorbed in each other's words on the other side of the room. (Save for Nina, the _ghost_ of a girl having drifted out of the room after he left, apparently.) Although it's unexpected, Lelouch is glad to have this little wedge of time to themselves.

"Tired?" Lelouch tenderly asks, seating himself next to his sleepy seahorse. "Do I need to put you to bed, too?"

Evergreen eyes flip open and look at Lelouch with a listless glaze that drips over his lips as a faint smile, dropping his head on Lelouch's shoulder. The black-haired boy shakes his head with a similar smile and gently ropes his arm around the boy sagging against him as he reclines into the couch. He softly rubs his hand up and down Suzaku's arm before letting his own limb fall around the boy's waist when he nestles closer. Too content to really care and perhaps sedated by Suzaku's seductive somnolence, Lelouch closes his own eyes on the _peanut gallery_ who practically take instant notice of this _special_ moment.

"They're so cute together, don't you think?" Milly asks to no one in particular, a gratified grin on her lips as her eyes trace over the pair. "A very striking couple."

"Eh… I think it's strange to see Lelouch act that way around anyone other than Nunnally," says Rivalz. "It's even disappointing when I think about all the girls falling at his feet – where's the justice there?"

"It isn't strange, it's adorable," the president insists with stoic faith. "And don't bring up such a sensitive subject in front Shirley."

"Me?" said girl blinks.

"Oh, there's no need to put on a brave face," Milly takes sympathetic hold of her friend's shoulders. "You're among friends and we'll support you through this troubling time."

"I'm not putting on a brave face," Shirley diffidently defends.

"Pish-posh," the older girl scoffs. "The guy of your dreams—"

"_Guy of my dreams?_"

"—has not only just stepped out of the _closet_, but he's holding hands with another guy! How could you not be devastated? Your chances of ever being with Lelouch now are so low you owe _him_ points just to be in the same room with him!"

"That doesn't make any sense," Rivalz mutters.

"But, you have to admit that these two are a fangirl's fantasy. The handsome slacker and brawny softy going at it in secrecy, and then, _poof_, a baby out of nowhere? It's what romance and BL novels are made of!"

"Romance and BL novels?" Kallen insipidly echoes – does she even _really_ want to know?

"At least we can admire the view, although _capturing_ the view would be much better – pictures _do_ last longer."

"…This is weird," Rivalz uncomfortably utters, stuffing his hands in his pockets and crinkling his brow. "I don't want to watch Lelouch and Suzaku, uh, 'go at it' like you said. That's gross."

"Only because you haven't discovered your inner fanboy yet." Milly easily diagnoses, arms folded beneath her bust in sinister contemplation. "Or maybe you can't enjoy it because you're insecure about yourself."

Rivalz sputters, face flaming with her bland accusation, and Shirley pats his back in an effort to soothe the blow his character took from the girl he virtually worships.

"The more I think about it, though," the blonde continues, "it makes me wonder what else Lelouch is capable of."

"What do you mean?" Kallen asks, something strange glinting in her crystal blue eyes.

"This is _Lelouch_ – he can't take two steps without stopping to catch his breath in between, and yet, he's topping the boy who's arguably the _most_ athletic person at Ashford. I just didn't know Lelouch had it in him! I want to know where he's been _hiding_ that vitality all this time!" A thought strikes her mind, causing her to pause and cradle her chin on her fist, "…Or maybe it's more about _Suzaku_ than it has to do with Lelouch? Do you think Suzaku rides him a lot?"

"I can _hear_ you over there!" Lelouch indignantly barks, clinging to his _last_ nerve thanks to their shameless conversing that has stripped him of his tolerance and pride, causing the group to jump as one body. "Stop talking about us like we're _not_ in the same room!"

"Roger that, Vice Prez." Milly winks. "We'll wait until you leave before we continue discussing anything further."

Lelouch grumbles – hiding his vitality, more about Suzaku, what does _Milly_ know about _anything?_ – but his irritation fizzles when he looks back at the peaceful, slumbering face of the idiot he's still delicately supporting. If he listens carefully to the peaceful breaths pushing and pulling though Suzaku's nose Lelouch can hear his bed calling him… It's probably a good idea to leave now before he's inadvertently insulted by the forgetful fools when they begin babbling again while starting at him like he's some kind of caged animal.

_Suzaku_ is the one who's _pregnant_ for crying out loud!

Milly should be pondering over _that_, not Lelouch's "capabilities"!

What is _wrong_ with that woman?

•-

-•

The following morning is less of a nightmare, but not entirely.

It starts pretty normal like any other weekend and being as uneventful as it should be with Lelouch sleeping through most of it, dragging himself out of bed early enough to his standards, but long after Suzaku's long years of conditioned military service – something Lelouch has learned to ignore more and more with every morning. The only times Suzaku sleeps in later than usual are after they've had sex, which hinders his regular routine for obvious reasons, otherwise he's shuffling around the room (while _trying_ to be quiet, but it's the _effort_ that makes him noisy) at the break of _dawn_ and disrupting the sleep Lelouch fights so rigorously to catch and keep. He's even employed _snuggling_ as a deterrent for Suzaku's unnatural amount of energy at such an unnatural time and it's gradually wearing the soldier down… as long as Lelouch is conscious enough to capture him before he _hops_ out of bed.

They've long since abandoned their old safety schedule for when Suzaku sleeps over, the honorary Britannian pretty much unofficially moving into Lelouch's nest. Suzaku still has his dorm room, but the minimal amount of possessions he has resides with him in Lelouch's bedroom, which makes most of Lelouch's nights easier now that he has consistent comfort. So easy he wants to get out of bed _even less_ than before when sunshine steals him from sleep.

Lelouch seriously considers turning over and going back to sleep this morning, but he likes to eat breakfast with Nunnally and the idiot, so he darkly makes his way to the door. After a brisk shower and wardrobe deliberation, he steps into the dining room around ten-thirty where Suzaku and Nunnally are calmly consuming their breakfast with Sayoko refreshing their glasses of orange juice.

"Good morning big brother!" Nunnally pleasantly sings, everyone else greeting him with a simple smile.

"Good morning," he replies just as affably but considerably more mild as he walks up to the table.

"Coffee, Master Lelouch?"

"Ah, yes please, thank you." he nods to Sayoko who scurries off into the kitchen as he takes a seat next to Nunnally. A fleeting glance at Suzaku across from him conveys the "we need to talk" look, and those green eyes appear to understand as the boy belonging to them subsequently nibbles on his buttered toast.

Suzaku became unusually drowsy towards the end of the party last night leaving them zero time to recap the evening, and while Lelouch doesn't want to cry foul play on the suspicion that the seahorse was trying to avoid discussing what the _hell_ had happened, he wonders if Suzaku was really _that_ tired.

Sayoko places a nice, full cup of steaming hot coffee in front of him that's always as black as his knights but, before he takes that first rejuvenating sip, he decides to be a little whimsical this morning by adding a touch of cream. He thanks Sayoko once again for the round plate of fried eggs and tomatoes with bacon and buttered toast she also placed in front of him before she gracefully bows and returns to the kitchen.

All is well this morning as the three of them smoothly sail through their meal with the company of casual conversation—

So it's only natural that a certain impertinent president bursts through the doors in an entrance that's short of grand only because there aren't any trumpeters or fireworks; instead she has her two trusty followers in tow as she rounds the table towards the dinning trio.

"It's Saturday, so you know what that means?" the question on her lips isn't nearly as inviting as her smile – not to Lelouch, and he's certain Suzaku feels the same way once his shoulders are ensnared by her evil clutches.

"That there's no school?" the brunet's answer is insecure and confused, just like his eyes that don't know where to look.

"It's time for a girl's day out! And Suzaku, you're coming along as our honorary woman!"

"I don't think so," Lelouch stonily states. "He's staying right here. With me."

Poor Suzaku will probably get eaten alive.

"It's not up to _you_," the blonde argues, shaking up the boy in her grasp even more as she jostles him in his chair. "And don't be such a Suzaku hog!"

"Is it up to me?" the newly crowned honorary woman meagerly croaks.

"Nope!" Milly chirps unethically excited. "I say you're coming, so you're coming! And Nunnally, being the lovely _Lady_ Lamperouge, you're also welcome on our outing."

"Not without me," Lelouch unequivocally invites himself, his voice and eyes like a jagged iceberg compared to Milly's flippantly fun-loving attitude that has her fluffed up like meringue.

"Absolutely _no_ boys allowed!" she rebukes with a shaking finger.

"But _I'm_ a boy…" Suzaku murmurs, only to be completely ignored.

"If _I_ don't go, _they_ don't go."

"The gentlemen will stay here," the _damnable_ president stubbornly continues, gesturing to Rivalz behind here who grins uneasily with a likewise wave of his hand. "That includes you."

Lelouch briskly stands up with a screech of his chair and flaming lance of his eyes – he would rather roll over and _die_ before he'd let Nunnally and Suzaku go anywhere with Milly without him—

"Oh, but I can't even go," she politely declines before Lelouch can start growling like a territorial tiger. "Alice and I have a school project that we have to work on and we were going to be in the library most of the day. But thank you for the invitation."

Milly lifts an eyebrow, "Alice, huh? I'm beginning to think she's trying to steal you away from us."—Lelouch hates how she so sarcastically says that when he felt that thought so honestly—"Well, can't interfere with a lady's studies, so you get a free pass _this_ time."

"Uh, well, I have some schoolwork I should—" Suzaku tries to weasel himself free.

"Not so fast!" but Milly isn't shaken off that easily. "We can't go have girl fun without our Student Council Mommy. Now hurry up because we have to get you dressed"—Milly practically hauls him out of the chair, causing him to flounder over his own steps and words as he is pushed towards Shirley and three of them shuffle to the door—"and _then_ we have to go pick up Kallen on the way and I don't want to waste time!" Odd that she doesn't mention getting Nina too, considering the girl isn't standing here with them – if Nina doesn't go, this outing isn't really official, is it?

"Don't just _do_ as _you_ please regardless of what others want!" Lelouch scowls, stiffly marching after them to grab Suzaku by the arm. "Listen to what other people are saying!"

A sharp smirk pinches the corners of her lips, a corrupted curve that could stand well against the many smirks Lelouch has worn while operating as Zero, but _Lelouch_ isn't so easily shaken, either.

"Lelouch, do you _really_ want to fight me on this, hm~?" the tone dripping from her lips coats her menacing words in a sugary shell as she places an "intimidating" hand on his shoulder – what does she _take him for_, exactly? "You left me in quite a bind after that little _trick_ of yours on Halloween, but I'll consider us even if you just let me borrow your little boyfriend here."

No longer having the worry of Milly's wrath hanging over his head would definitely be nice, but this bargain only makes Lelouch uneasy. The only reason she's making such an offer is because she's so _confident_ that she can get something out of Suzaku – which isn't all that hard in the first place.

It really puts Lelouch between a rock and a hard place.

Wait, what is he _thinking?_

He's _Lelouch vi Britannia!_

And Lelouch vi Britannia _fears no one!_

"_Or_," Milly continues, "perhaps we could revisit the _kissing booth_ idea that I wanted to do last year for Valentine's Day."

•-•

And so Lelouch is forced to spend the day with Rivalz.

Completely

And

Utterly

_Alone_.

"…So, I was just wondering…" Rivalz starts off their day by beating around the bush.

"Wondering what?" Lelouch dully indulges, not particularly interested in the thought Rivalz is trying to push off the edge of his tongue being much too concerned about how Milly might be torturing answers out of Suzaku… Or how she _doesn't_ need to torture answers out of Suzaku.

And just to clarify, he isn't sitting here, sulking at the dining table with Rivalz like they've been shelved and left to stare at each other because he _cowered_ in the face of Milly's threat. _Suzaku_ is the one who caved in the end, stammering that it really wasn't a big deal if he tagged along with them.

Lelouch is positive that Suzaku only did it to spare him from an attack by a malevolent Milly.

Not that _Lelouch_ was ever worried…

"Well, why didn't you tell me you were, um… _gay_?" he whispers that last word, Lord knows for what reason. Maybe he suspects Arthur of being homophobic – that _could_ possibly explain the feline's aversion to Suzaku… "You're my best bud; I thought you knew you could trust me. And I mean, I'm totally cool with it, you know. Just… Just wondering."

Lelouch just closes his eyes on the dumbfounded boy sitting across from him and sighs.

This is going to be a _very_ long day.

•-•

Deeming all of "Suzie's" _two_ outfits as insufficient (one of them being that _green dress_ which didn't get as many critical comments as he thought it would – seems Lelouch really does know what he's doing), Milly hastily sped them off to Kallen's house, who apparently didn't know anything about this impromptu female frolicking, either. After dragging her from the house nearly half asleep, the four of them rode to the mall to the sound of Milly's excited plans.

Suzaku had asked about Nina, hesitantly, and Milly solemnly told him that she isn't comfortable going into the city after their last trip which involved a run-in with terrorists. Understandable, maybe even believable, but Suzaku knows Nina is more afraid of people who aren't her own race rather than the rare chance they'll encounter terrorists a second time.

He decided to not think about that too much, though.

Now he's standing in some high-end store with repetitive, electronic music jumping on his head from the ceiling, lost in the spotty lighting and scattered clothes racks as Shirley and Milly browse them. Kallen is standing on the other side of one metal frame they're leafing through, her bleary eyes uninterested in the fashion in front of her as she indifferently slides hanger after hanger to the side – of course, Suzaku understands that _shopping_ isn't the kind of interest that Kallen holds… It also reminds him that he hasn't really tried to talk to her yet, his entire world now revolving around the baby.

He's also noticed she doesn't seem to look him in the eye anymore.

Suzaku doesn't have the luxury to brood over those issues at this time, too involved in sifting through article after article of clothing and indecisively eyeing the suggestions of Shirley and Milly while insecurely tugging at his clothes. He _honestly_ likes the outfit he's wearing now that he bought with Lelouch; it's simple, if a little too monochromatic. He wouldn't mind expanding for _Suzie's_ sake, but looking at all of these options is… overwhelming. With Lelouch just the one time they had to spare, their approach was so direct and he was so blunt about what is and isn't flattering, or what just looked tacky, and didn't bother showing Suzaku the entire store. Lelouch laid out everything in the simplest way, heeding Suzaku's tastes and letting him have the final say, unlike here where he's being asked to start from scratch while clueless about what ingredients go together. Without that objective guidance, Suzaku isn't sure what he's supposed to do with himself. The girls _are_ helpful, but it's taking a while for him to get the hang of it.

He is trying to understand the function of various buttoned straps on what he originally thought was a jacket, but now can't decide, when Milly slinks up to him like a pouncing phobia – might not be far from the truth…

"So…" she starts, rifling through the hanging clothes _too_ casually, "how big is Lelouch?"

"How big?" he curiously glances at her. "Uh, we're about the same height. I don't know how much he weighs, but probably less than me…"

The chiding chuckles that condescendingly fall from her lips soak Suzaku in certain dread and the understanding that he answered her _incorrectly_.

"Don't play _coy_ with me." she _suavely_ bumps his arm. "I wasn't talking about his _height_ or _weight_ and you know that."

"Right…" Suzaku verbally agrees but is mentally lost.

"I'm talking about the certain _length_ in his pants." She explains with a generously lecherous tone and Suzaku feels a panic start to coldly break within him. "You see, Lelouch has that _rich_, _deep_ voice and those _long_ fingers, so I always thought he'd be…" Milly trails as she holds up her hands in the air, spreading them apart wider and wider…

Her words as well as her action lick scarlet streaks over his cheeks and he looks away from Milly's hands just when they pass the width of her _shoulders_.

"I think we should change the subject!" he salvos, looking at Shirley across from him who also bears his heated flush. "Shirley! How is… _Swimming!_ How is swimming going?"

Shirley opens her mouth but Milly cuts her off, "Now, now. What's the point of having _quality girl time_ if we can't have _quality_ _girl talk?_"

Suzaku is reigned in be her arm that's much stronger than it appears to be.

"Girls talk about… this sort of thing?" he's afraid to ask, but painfully curious. The female population is something he knows absolutely nothing about.

"Of course. What else do you think we talk about?"

"I don't know," Suzaku says lamely. Somehow he isn't sure if he can believe the answer _Milly_ provides – Shirley looks as uncomfortable as a kangaroo with a cactus in its pouch and a glowing blush is spawning on Kallen's _very_ disturbed face. "Make-up and clothes, or something like that…" They _are_ at the mall, _shopping_ – or is this just a ruse?

Milly scoffs, "Maybe if you're a _child_. Who else would be entertained by such dribble?"

Suzaku doesn't answer.

Because he can't.

"Then at least tell me if he's a good kisser." Milly meekly implores.

"A good kisser?" Suzaku asks and Milly nods – perhaps there's no harm in this.

"Yeah, you know, when he kisses you do you feel it in all the way down in your knees?"

Suzaku smiles dumbly at that – he feels it _everywhere_ when Lelouch kisses him.

"Yeah…"

"So how is he in bed?" – logically, that's the next step in this conversation.

Suzaku can feel his ears turning the colour of Kallen's hair when Shirley shouts; "Milly!"

"Oh, come on, just a one word answer will do: good or bad." – as if that _won't_ lead to more questions.

Suzaku isn't _that_ naïve.

How can he even answer a question like that anyway?

He contemplates how to get out of this question knowing Milly will be _insatiable_ now that she's gotten a taste of personal Lelouch information, but he's beginning to wonder if he'll even make it out of this "Girl's day out" alive, and if Lelouch is fairing any better.

"Listen," Milly takes on a frank tone, pulling him closer to _privately_ murmur in his ear, "I've seen you limping around before but I always thought it was military drills or something of that nature, but _now_ I know _Lelouch_ is the one _behind_ your pain! I wouldn't have thought Lelouch had so much vigor! He really gives you a _reason_ to limp, doesn't he? I'm just curious to know if it's his _appetite_ or his _big_—"

•-•

"So… what's it like… _you know_… with a guy?" Rivalz tries to ask casually, his friendliness and curiosity the perfect cocktail that pour a headache into Lelouch's skull.

It's a bit surprising that Rivalz didn't begin this sexual trek with the more innocent, subtle question concerning kisses – is there a difference between boys and girls? That is one question Lelouch can answer objectively, based on experience, because Lelouch _has_ in fact kissed a girl before.

Though not exactly because he _wanted_ to.

And there isn't really much of a difference, honestly. It's not the _gender_, but the _person_ that makes the difference… Not that Lelouch has been kissing boys all this time… or _plans_ to kiss anymore girls any time in the near future… or ever, as long as he has his way.

No, instead, Rivalz decided to go for the gusto and jump right to the sex question, showing his lack of sophistication and awkward immaturity in one swift blow. But, thanks to Rivalz's inelegant curiosity, Lelouch has been offered a chance to toy with his friend.

"What's _what_ like with a guy?" he asks, personifying obliviousness in a seamless performance that involves tilting his head into an innocent slant.

Rivalz shifts uncomfortably, his cheeks beginning to redden considerably – Lelouch doesn't really even need to _do_ anything, does he?

"You know… _it_."

The inner smirk Lelouch wears is so wide that it's threatening to pierce his clueless mask and rip it right in half.

"_It_?"

Rivalz slaps his palms on the table, "Come _on_, man! _Sex!_ I'm asking about _sex!_ _With_ _another_ _guy!_"

Of course, _that very second_ Sayoko enters the room with their tea and Lelouch knows the steam from the pot isn't what brushed her cheeks a ripe cherry, just like it didn't touch Rivalz's.

This truly is too much fun.

Even if it is too easy.

"Why don't you try it yourself if you're so curious?" Lelouch coolly deflects once the maid mutely sets the tray down and shuffles from the room, leaving Rivalz in his humiliated despair.

He's glowing redder than any sunburn Lelouch has ever had.

The poor fellow… Lelouch has to wonder if it hurts just as much.

"I'm not _that_ curious…" he mumbles, a finger doodling distracting designs on the table. "I'm just wondering if it's different than being with a girl."

"I don't know," Lelouch answers blandly, "what's it like having sex with a girl?"

Like Rivalz would even know.

He's still a virgin.

It takes a moment, but surely enough, a nervous bumble of desperate chuckles flounce form Rivalz lips.

"Touché, man."—But then, something strange lights up in Rivalz's eyes and all of his embarrassment is forgotten with frightening ease—"Hey! Does that mean those _scratch marks_ on your back were really from _Suzaku?_"

•-•

Lunch in the food court brings a brief _reprieve_ from Milly's impetuous interrogating and lugging around the multiplying bags in his hands – it's more than he needs, but Milly wouldn't hear of him _not_ getting anything. He's thankful she wants to splurge on him, but will this kindness come back to haunt him, or is Lelouch's paranoia just rubbing off on him? Whatever the case, he's actually enjoying himself. It's only a little strange at how well they're all so accepting of the situation, mostly the pregnancy and cross-dressing part.

"What's it like being pregnant?" Shirley innocently inquires, bringing a refreshing topic change.

"Um…" Suzaku has to think for a second. "I don't know, I don't feel any different yet."

"You don't have morning sickness or anything like that?"

"No, not yet. Everything's still normal for me. Although…" he scratches at his itchy wig, "I think right now it's mostly mental stuff. I tend to think about the baby a lot."

Talking about his pregnancy to Shirley, in front of Milly and Kallen, has to be the most bizarre moment Suzaku has ever experienced.

Other than being told he was pregnant, that is…

Even just talking to Shirley about this doesn't feel right because she once told him that she fell in love with Lelouch… Perhaps something really did change during their "tiff" because something about her is still off.

"Oh, yeah?" she enthusiastically engages. "That must be strange."

Suzaku finds himself laughing softly, "It is. But I think Lelouch is more concerned. He practically won't let me do anything and has me eating a really strict diet." If it isn't organic, is too high in sugar or sodium, or has a word not easily pronounced in the ingredients, Suzaku can't eat it. All of his meals are home cooked and preapproved by Lelouch – but Suzaku won't complain, because the food is the best he's ever eaten in his life. It isn't as though he's been ingesting nothing but garbage food, but this is way healthier and more natural than he's used to. Sometime it would be nice to indulge in something a _little_ junky, though.

"How _is_ Lelouch acting about everything? Is he freaking out or anything?"

"I'm more interested to know what he's like in bed." Milly slips her voice into their conversation with a snide snip.

Suzaku knew this breath of relaxation was going to be short lived.

"Madam President!" Shirley shrieks.

"Oh, come now, this is harmless fun. Anything said between us girls will _stay_ between us girls – it's what we do and what girl time is all about!"

But, the majority of the student council (Lelouch's and Suzaku's only group of friends) is comprised of girls, who are mostly all here, so that doesn't really count for much regarding security or privacy.

…And Suzaku isn't even a girl.

"But it isn't any of your business!"

"Like you're not curious, either, lover girl~!"

"Why do you want to know so badly, anyway?" Suzaku asks, taking Milly off-guard. Her eyes slide to him, a shimmer of surprise swimming over her blue irises, and for a stunned moment she can't respond.

"…Because he's so secretive. And because he's never seemed like the 'coupling' type. You do realize you're the first person he's ever dated, don't you?"

Lelouch hasn't said as much, but it's been implied.

"So in other words," Suzaku translates, stabbing a plain leaf of lettuce (again, strict diet, thanks to Lelouch) off of his plate with a fork, "there's a part of him that you don't know and it drives you crazy?"

She hums, "Something like that, maybe…"

He watches her take the straw of her drink between her lips as her eyes drift away and he thinks that it isn't so much about that mysterious part of Lelouch that has her obsessed, but that she isn't the one to see it and never will be.

"So, I don't see why you can't give me a little something." She stretches her claws again, an ominous coaxing before they sink in and pry him apart.

"Sorry if you thought I'd be your gateway into Lelouch's private life, because I'm not." he doesn't know why he's apologizing; he doesn't even feel guilty this time. "I'm not going to betray his trust like that."

"But I'm asking for so little…" Milly sighs.

Asking if Lelouch has any strange kinks or fetishes, if he ever fails to _perform_ because of his stamina, if he ever makes Suzaku dress like _Suzie_, if he favors a certain position, or just what _type_ of lover he is are _not_ little questions!

"I told you he's a good kisser."

"But is he good at sex?"

"_Milly!_" hisses the orange-haired girl.

"_Why_ do you keep asking that?" Suzaku bites, and at more than the cherry tomato on his fork. "I don't need to _fake_ my orgasms, if _that's_ what you're implying!"

Chew. Chew.

A glance at Shirley's wide eyes.

Chew. Chew.

A glance at Milly; the sheer expression of _heaven_ illuminating her elated blue eyes and gapping smile.

Chew. Chew.

A glance at Kallen's wide eyes.

Ch…

Oh, wait—!

Suzaku _didn't_ just say that…

•-•

"So, why Suzaku?" Rivalz asks.

"What do you mean?" Lelouch blandly prompts.

"What is it about him that you like? Or, uh, what attracted you to him?"

Lelouch internally sighs.

There's no way he's answering that question.

"Is it his looks?"

"…"

"His personality?"

"…"

"…Well, what's he got that I don't?" Lelouch whips his eyes to Rivalz and the boy shrugs with his own confusion. "Why him and not me?"

Lelouch gapes, "Are you telling me that you're _jealous_?"

"I don't know." Rivalz sheepishly shrugs. "I mean, am I not your type?"

S

T

A

R

E

"I think it's time we get some fresh air…" Lelouch finally mutters, wanting to escape this awkward turn of events before he learns _other_ things about Rivalz he wishes he didn't know.

•-•

With perfect timing strapped to his heels, Lelouch steps out of the clubhouse to greet the collective Student Council _Girls_ as they stroll up to the door, armed with large, paper and plastic shopping bags that thunder dreadfully in their swinging hands. Chirping over the rumbling rustle is their chatter, zapping his ears with too many feminine phrases he doesn't have any hopes of ever decoding like the gibberish of enemy frequencies – Lelouch has certainly never faced a more unsettling militia. His only beacon of hope in the thick of the storm is the pair of wide green eyes from his seahorse who looks like he's been battered enough by the battle. Lelouch stops short as Rivalz continues forward up to the charge of clicking heels, letting Suzaku separate himself from the herd to build some privacy for themselves. His course is set straight for Lelouch with a bit of a rush to his step and an eager flush on his cheeks… or maybe that's just from the chilly air?

"Lelouch!" Suzaku happily hops up to him, his springy, blond wig bouncing around his head, and he holds up the various shopping bags in his hands. "I wasn't going to really get anything, but we actually found a lot of good stuff!" he begins to shift the bags around and opening them to quickly flash his purchases with swift enthusiasm, his cheeks still rosy, like his lips. …_His lips?_ "I wasn't so sure I'd find anything, but with their help I got some new outfits for Suzie, along with matching shoes – I didn't realize shoes mattered so much or could make something look so bad – and it's all a little loose fitting or stretchy so I can still wear it when I get bigger. We looked at maternity stuff, but it's hard to know how what will fit, so I figured we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, right?" Suzaku's mouth is moving much too quickly, his words speeding into Lelouch's head and piling up over his baffled gazing at the strange shades on Suzaku's face – his eyes! There's eye shadow on is eyes! "And I got a few things for the baby, too—"

"Are you wearing make-up?"

Suzaku freezes a short second, and then avoids Lelouch's eyes with a shrug, "Well… Yes. But, we were at the mall, you know, and, it just kind of happened. Anyway, look at this!" he joyfully produces a plush animal a little bigger than his hand, shoving it right into Lelouch's face. "Guess why I got it."

After a startling slap from more of Suzaku's puppy-dog excitement from being reunited, Lelouch carefully studies the chubby, baby-blue body of a certain water-dwelling creature that has a pale yellow belly and iridescent teal fins.

"Because it's a seahorse."

"Right!" Suzaku is overflowing with delight, his smile a radiant beam that Lelouch can't keep from shinning on his own lips. "I saw it and thought it was too adorable. Plus, it's so personal. It was just too perfect. And babies like soft, fuzzy things, right?"

Not infants, but Lelouch doesn't want to rain on his parade.

And they can save it for later.

"So you had fun today?" he asks instead, still radiating with all of the contagious ecstasy Suzaku is emitting.

"Yeah," Suzaku says, finally taking an actual moment to look at Lelouch—the moment catching in their eyes as a tempting kiss—

But Lelouch finally realizes their audience, standing the polite distance he left between them but still nosy beyond Suzaku's shoulder. Milly is unabashedly staring, her smirk a sharp cut on her lips compared to the wide-eyed gazes of everyone else who aren't accustomed to this type of exchange between their two friends. Everyone is looking on innocently enough, aside from the she-devil, but Lelouch has never liked having spectators observing his personal affairs and he quickly slings his arm around Suzaku, placing a pushing hand on the boy's back.

"Let's go inside so you can show me all of the things you bought in private, where we _won't_ be watched." Lelouch purposely utters at a high volume as they walk away, turning his head towards their friends to give them fair warning.

•-•

"I wasn't sure what to expect today, but it wasn't as bad as it first seemed," Suzaku says with a maintained smile as he sheds his sepia, corduroy half-jacket, laying it on the couch.

Lelouch scuttles into the bedroom closely behind Suzaku, carrying all of his shopping bags (like he insisted, and now regrets) and setting them down on the table but his violet eyes are focused solely on the other boy beside him.

"I wouldn't want to do it again anytime _soon_, but it was pretty fun."

A pale hand smoothes over the back of the off-white blouse snug around Suzaku's torso, the brown print of tiny clusters of flowers ignored just like the tight tan pants that accentuate Suzaku's firm, round bottom – Lelouch is only looking right through these clothes.

"I'm glad that you enjoyed yourself today," Lelouch murmurs in Suzaku's ear from behind, waiting for the connected head to turn so he can devour those painted lips with a kiss – it isn't as pleasant as Lelouch was hoping, the fake taste of lipstick not suited for his palate and thus forcing their mouth's to stay closed. Suzaku doesn't seem disappointed when they part, instead looking amused as he touches the pad of his thumb to the corner of Lelouch's lips.

"Now you have lipstick on your mouth."

"This stuff is awful, don't wear it ever again." Lelouch frowns, a hand instinctively flying up to his mouth to rid the offending substance, but his hand is instantly entrapped by a treacherous hand.

"But then I can't leave my mark." Suzaku grins and then proceeds to stamp a pair of dusky chestnut lips on a pale cheek, _much_ to Lelouch's dismay.

"_Exactly_," he grumbles, hurrying over to his desk for a tissue.

The kissing culprit laughs quietly to himself as he sits down on the couch and begins emptying his bags, "It won't happen again, so don't worry. I just did this time because, well, I _was_ with Milly. She kind of just pushed me into the offer when we were walking through the cosmetic department."

"Was she too much for you to handle?" he asks, tossing the tissue into the trash bin.

"She was just unapologetic about all of her personal questions." Suzaku pauses, giving Lelouch a direct gaze. "She really wants to know a lot about you. She practically wouldn't talk about anything else. I think she likes you."

Lelouch shakes his head, "Don't try to scare me like that, it isn't nice."

Another wisp of laughter as more clothes are piled onto the table, "I'm serious. You were the only topic on her mind."

Lelouch doesn't know if he should find this more frightening or depressing. The thought of Milly vying for him? He'd rather not venture into that territory.

She's practically like a sister.

One he never wanted or needed, but a sister nonetheless.

"I didn't tell her anything, of course – which wasn't easy."

"I'm proud of you, in any case."

Suzaku nods appreciatively, "I did tell her you were a good kisser, though. That seemed harmless and she was just _dying_ to know something. If I'd held out completely she might have torn me limb from limb to find her answers."

"I don't doubt it," Lelouch mutters. "But I'm only a 'good' kisser?"

"An _excellent_ kisser," he says with a grin and sly glance, flattening and folding one noisy paper bag before throwing mystified eyes back at Lelouch. "You know she _actually_ asked me about the size of your—? Um…" he shyly points down at his own crotch – the fact that Suzaku can't say "penis" is cute.

Lelouch wishes he could say that about Milly surprises him, but it doesn't.

It's no wonder she didn't insist so much about Nunnally joining them – Nunnally would've been a nice buffer against _these kinds_ of questions, not that Lelouch would _use_ her or that Milly wouldn't be able to get around it.

"Should I even ask what happen then?"

"Oh, don't worry," his partner reassures. "She thinks _largely_ of you in that department."

A wicked smirk takes shape on Lelouch's lips, "At least she got something right for once."

Suzaku dryly rolls his eyes, dipping his hands into another bag, "Anyway, how did your day with Rivalz go?"

Lelouch stalls a bit, crossing his arms as he leans against his desk and stares at the layers of clothes beginning to cover the polished, wooden surface of the coffee table – the boy might have gotten a bit carried away, buying all of this _female_ apparel.

"Let's just say I've gotten to know him a little better."

"Oh no?" Suzaku can't keep a wide smile from breaking across his lips. "You don't sound happy about that."

"Rivalz is one sad, strange individual, that's for sure," Lelouch supplies with a shallow sigh, turning to the window behind his bed.

"So you guys didn't do anything or go anywhere?"

"I can't properly enjoy myself when I know Milly is up to no good." He peers out briefly at the dark tint to the late-afternoon sky before tugging the curtain closed.

"…You're not mad about all of this, are you? About them knowing?" Suzaku asks, his timid, mercy-begging voice making the room feel colder than it really is. "I know we haven't really been able to talk about it yet."

Lelouch looks at the sad seahorse sitting stiffly on the couch, his head bowed with big, staring eyes that put every puppy, kitten or various other fuzzy, baby creatures Lelouch has ever seen to shame. With a heavy sigh, he turns his gaze from the idiot he can't live without, no matter how much easier it would make his life, willing to accept that there might be some things that just don't change.

"…No."

"Really?" The uncertainty clinging to Suzaku's tone doesn't hold back a shred of suspicion or fear of some heartless bait-and-switch on Lelouch's end and it makes the sable-haired boy glance over his shoulder again with sympathetic half-smile.

"Really."

"You're not mad at all? Not even a little bit?"

All this questioning is kind of insulting, and a little annoying, but Lelouch understands Suzaku's apprehension. Lelouch knows he isn't always the most pleasant person in the world, especially when dealing with personal matters. Despite everything that suggests otherwise, Lelouch isn't mad or upset. He knew the pregnancy announcement would have to be handled at some point soon, or forced upon them whenever Suzaku starts to show – which is a horrifying image if _only_ for the mind-bending biology of it – because Lelouch knows there isn't a chance in Hell Suzaku would participate in a parade of lies. Even then, making up stories about why Suzaku has a beach-ball stomach wouldn't account for the little bundle once it's born, and those dots are all too easily connectable. Realistically speaking, what happened last night works out for the best in the end. …As long as their friends don't ask too many questions – although _that_ ship has apparently already sailed…

"Not even a little bit," he confirms again, this time in a huff of wry laughter, gazing at his cautious seahorse with a soft-hearted and somewhat amused smile lightly touching his lips. His head slants to an impish angle and he lifts his hand, beckoning Suzaku with the gentle gesturing of one finger, "Come here."

Suzaku complies with measured steps – apparently still harboring a strong belief that Lelouch will strike him down at any second – and a firm line to his lips, hands held behind his back as if they're cuffed.

Now _there's_ an intriguing thought…

"I didn't do it on purpose," Suzaku is practically pleading with an innocent pout pursing his lips.

"I know," Lelouch softly says, his voice being the cushion underneath Suzaku's skittish steps.

"And I am sorry." The apology was inevitable and the quiet sweep of his words makes him seem smaller when he finally stands in front of Lelouch.

"I know." Lelouch caresses Suzaku's temple with the tips of his fingers, his touch as feathery as his voice as it weeds into the earthy curls, forcing the wig to fall to the floor, and leans in to press his lips against—

"It's just, for a second, I thought they really knew…"

"I know," Lelouch nods, sliding his other hand around Suzaku's hip, leaning in again—

"I realized my mistake the second I said it, but didn't know how to fix it."

Lelouch holds a longer pause, hoping to let the rest of these interruptions rush out all at once instead of trickle like a faucet, but when silence is all he hears, he dives in again—

"And then it was too late to even try."

Lelouch takes a breath, "I know." mutters quickly, and tries to—

"I just wasn't thinking and did something stupid."

—plant a kiss before Suzaku speaks again.

…Suzaku can't be this thick-headed.

"Do you want to know how you can make it up to me?"

"How?" he's too relieved at the opportunity to right his wrong, as if it will cleanse the world of all its impurities, that he lights up like the sun.

"Shut up and let me kiss you," Lelouch orders flatly, the tenderness of his disposition blistered dry by the constant blowing of hot air from Suzaku's mouth.

The sheepish grin to muddle over Suzaku's lips is also inevitable, "Sorry."

Lelouch chides the boy with a lighthearted, _wordless_, shake of his head and taps his lips, a smile growing as Suzaku concedes with a simper. Of course, Lelouch doesn't leave it at a simple exchange, and he suspects that Suzaku expected as much because his lips part more easily than the legs of purchased company. The taste of lipstick is thick on Suzaku's mouth, but Lelouch isn't going to let some aesthetic annoyance keep him from savoring the soft slip of their pressing lips. He takes advantage of the apologetic atmosphere – not that it's particularly difficult – to sink his thoughts down Suzaku's throat with his hand clutching firmly to brown hair and let the kiss linger on slow, sensual seconds.

Lelouch is grinning provocatively once they part, sliding his arms in a tight, secure circle around Suzaku.

"You should apologize like _that_ from now on."

"_That_ can be done." the younger boy smiles back, palms spreading on Lelouch's chest as his body is brought to a flushed embrace. "Although, I have to say, you keep surprising me."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." There's a hint of a smirk creeping in the upturned corners of Suzaku's lips as he cranes his arms over Lelouch's shoulders. "Here I've been thinking you'd lose it over Nunnally and this thing with the student council, but you haven't."

"Of course," Lelouch replies with an authentic air of arrogance, letting his own arms fall to Japanese hips. "I'm not some raving lunatic."

"Of course." green eyes glimmer briefly like the flash of a camera, but Lelouch's eyes still capture the condescension and he is quick to seal Suzaku's lips with another kiss before more words spoil the moment. This one is deeper than the last but just as patient with more tongue and less air, leaving them enrapt and wrapped in each other's arms as everything but their contact wades from their minds.

Suzaku's seeking hands sweep up the smooth skin of an alabaster neck, anchoring his fingers in straight, sable hair as the hands on his lower back flatten and pull to connect their teenage hips like magnets. Feeling the heat of the moment slide from their mouths to his crotch, Lelouch nudges his pelvis forward just a tad, to test the waters, and at the avid reaction of a throaty moan and body twitch from Suzaku, Lelouch decides the water's fine. He brashly slips his palms down, open hands happily grabbing the firm, ample cheeks of Suzaku's bottom with equally delighted squeezes, much to the brunet's startled surprise, earning himself a rasp of his name against his lips.

"I think we should move all these apologies to the bed," Lelouch purrs deviously, his voice deep enough to visibly rumble through Suzaku's body. "So you're more comfortable."

Victory over Suzaku's reluctance is already blooming on his cheeks in wisps of pink and by the shy smile under his shifting eyes.

"…We really shouldn't," he quietly says, the timid whisper of his breath feeling like a formality against his waiting body in Lelouch's arms.

Lelouch hasn't forgotten the concern of Nunnally, but she's still in the library with Alice, so it's safe enough for their promiscuity.

"It'll be fine." he confidently insists with a forward step between Suzaku's legs and a graze of lips.

"Such a naughty daddy!" Suzaku smiles widely, showing his teeth in a light patter of giggles and hugs his princely partner closely by the neck as they hobble to the bed.

Lelouch is _positive_ he told Suzaku to not call him that.

He doesn't really even understand how that title is supposed to be sexy, if that is in fact the desired effect.

Still, if it gets Suzaku's motor running…

"But mamma _likes_ it when I'm naughty." another tremor of Lelouch's low, seductive voice coils around Suzaku's spine, making the boy bend backwards and fall to the bed underneath the Britannian who begins kissing him deeply once more.

_Fully_ intending to carry this mood as far as it will go with his hips placed firmly between Suzaku's legs, Lelouch uses his tongue to encourage his seahorse to do the same. A whispery moan seeps from Suzaku's mouth, apparently needing little motivation to embrace the moment as he curls a leg around Lelouch's body with a heel zealously pressing down. Lelouch rubs his hips against the pair beneath him at their indulgent insistence, gratified at the twitch that sparks between them and grinds against Suzaku's crotch again which is already growing just like Lelouch's. This mutual enthusiasm is already catching their breath in heady air, trapping and suffocating any escaping thoughts that might steal their attention or create distractions. Only for a brief second do Lelouch's ears flinch at a faint sound he thinks he hears, but he passes it off as his imagination and refocuses on Suzaku's wiggling tongue—

"…_can't hear…_"

"…_No—! _Wait—!"

The abrupt hiss of Lelouch's bedroom door spills a tumble of bodies into the room, limbs and groans of pain mingling on the wooden floor, effectively smashing the sexy mood and concentration to bits.

Millions and millions of bits.

The whole student council gang is here (minus Nina, of course), a tangle of apologies on their lips and embarrassed blushes on their cheeks – both of which Lelouch would rather have from _Suzaku_ right now, as was the plan. Milly is the only one unashamed of their spying even though she's the one who fell under the weight of their snooping and ruined things for everyone.

Too surprised, and yet also not surprised, all Lelouch can really seem to do is look down at a wide-eyed Suzaku with a wry smile, "And you thought I'd be mad."

•-

-•

Normally, seeing Suzaku shirtless upon walking into the bedroom would be a pleasant surprise worth entertaining dirty thoughts, but today, as Lelouch strides through the doors, he finds only a big question mark weighing on his mind. Perhaps Lelouch wouldn't find the scene of a half-naked Suzaku observing himself in front of the full-length mirror strange if not for the critical tilt to his head and groping hands on his chest – it's the hands, definitely, that worry Lelouch. Despite resting on a flat surface, they're cupping and rubbing as the soldier stares at himself sideways.

Lead by insatiable curiosity and an arced eyebrow, Lelouch joins Suzaku at the mirror, searching for meaning in the reflection.

"What are you doing?" he can't help but ask, now more disturbed by those groping hands than he is perplexed.

"It's…" Suzaku's voice falls away into his arching back, shoulders pulling tight and dropping loose as his palms slowly move in small circles. "I think I'm growing breasts."

Lelouch nearly falls over himself, those _very_ unexpected words flipping the gravity in his head so severely he has to shake away the deluded daze Suzaku shared to maintain stability. Lelouch is somewhat grateful he waited to take a swig of his coffee for now he is at least spared the indignity of violently choking or having it spew from his mouth in messy surprise – maybe he is _finally_ learning something after all this time spent with this big-mouthed idiot. Instead, he is openly gawking after rattling reality back into his brain, not really sure where to begin making sense of the chest in question or if he even should.

"…What?" As much as Lelouch would have liked to just nod his head and continue along his way, he can't leave his seahorse in open waters all alone – and this problem might be more serious than it first appears.

"I think I'm growing breasts," Suzaku repeats as if Lelouch had asked him to, head turning and torso twisting for inspection through another angle. "What do you think?"

What does Lelouch think?

Is that a _serious_ question?

"Why do you think that?" Lelouch is using his non-judgmental voice here.

"_What do you mean_ why do I think that?" Suzaku unexpectedly barks with annoyance in his eyebrows. "Can't you _see_ them!"

No.

Lelouch can't see something that isn't there.

Rather, he can't see something that exists only in Suzaku's imagination.

However, Lelouch doesn't like the untamed tone already beginning to foam from Suzaku's mouth, so he honestly reconsiders how he views what is (or isn't) presented to him in a silent, studying pause… but it's no use. Even with the comparative gestures of his squeezing fingers, Suzaku's chest is as flat as this moment is ridiculous.

"I'm sorry, I don't see anything," Lelouch confesses gently with a slow, careful shake of his head.

Suzaku practically stomps his foot, "Then you're not looking hard enough, because I can _feel_ them! All jiggly…"

_Jiggly?_

"If you're this concerned we can ask the doctor about it on our next visit," he casually offers for the sake of appeasement, leaving not Suzaku but the mirror validation full of awkward shifting and pinching in favor of his desk – that being his original destination.

"No, I'd rather not have her feel me up again unless it's _absolutely_ necessary." Suzaku visibly shudders under the memory of touch. "Can't you just feel for yourself and tell me what you think?"

That question freezes Lelouch where he stands, hand on the back of his desk chair, and drags his eyes back to Suzaku, at the way those green eyes stare at him as if he's a source of comfort just like his voice that begged for help.

_Damn it all…_

Lelouch was hoping to avoid getting roped into Suzaku's… whatever this _thing_ he's having right now is, but they're _partners_ and _partners_ don't abandon each other regardless of whatever has befallen them. It isn't that Lelouch _doesn't_ want to help Suzaku, he just isn't so sure he'll say what his _lover_ wants to hear, and that will cause them both a lot of unwanted stress which he was _also_ hoping to avoid.

Lelouch sets his coffee down on the desk with a repressed sigh, mentally telling himself to just accept this situation and not provoke his pregnant seahorse no matter how unreasonable he might become.

He's just not awake or willing enough to fight about whether or not Suzaku has breasts.

Having prepared himself for this as much as he can, he pads over to Suzaku in patient strides rather than patronizing clomps, and awkwardly lifts his hands into the air once standing in front of the mirror again.

"Just…" Suzaku turns his back to Lelouch, pulling the older boy's hands up to his chest and tentatively presses them right over the possible _bosoms_.

Lelouch is staring at their reflection, at his hands, and briefly wonders what he'll do if he _does_ in fact feel that his little seahorse is becoming _busty_.

All he can do is _squeeze_…

Rub.

Grope.

Fondle.

Grope.

Rub.

…and cup until the conclusion that Suzaku does _not_ have breasts during at least _this_ moment is proven.

"No, I don't feel anything." Lelouch shakes his head, hands still clutching to the idea on Suzaku's chest.

"Are you sure?" Suzaku almost sounds disappointed. "It's not extra… flabby to you?"

"No. It feels the same to me." not that Lelouch makes it a habit to feel-up the boy's pectorals – ok, well, not like _this_. He slides his hands down to narrow hips, "I think you're just imaging it."

"…I guess you're right," he murmurs, skimming his fingertips over his chest.

Lelouch kisses the side of his head, _silly boy_—

"Too bad," Suzaku says. "I was starting to look forward to the idea of breastfeeding… _Ow!_ Lelouch? Your fingernails are _hurting_ me!"

Oh, sorry.

Was Lelouch unconsciously imbedding his nails into Suzaku's skin at this disturbing leak of information?

Did he accidentally imagine Suzaku (both with and without breasts) trying to breast feed their small fry?

Did Lelouch also then imagine the amount of therapy needed to rebuild their child's sanity?

Does he wish he could beat those thoughts out of his head until they're dead and gone?

Sounds like a job for repression…

"You can't be serious." Lelouch ignores Suzaku's pain with furrowing eyebrows and a dark tone, unclenching his fists. "_Breastfeeding?_"

"What?" Suzaku's face is wrinkling right back, his voice taking on a defensive quiver. "It was just a thought."

"Let's _leave_ it that way," Lelouch mumbles slightly, walking back to his desk and taking a sobering sip of coffee.

"Why do you say that?"

"_Because_, Suzaku."

"Because I'm not a woman?" Suzaku slaps his hands to his hips.

"Yes!" Lelouch plops down in his chair and turns on his laptop. "You can't tell me that idea isn't strange or even a _little_ disturbing to you."

Suzaku doesn't answer, his eyes following a thought in his head.

"That's what I thought."

"You're wrong!" Suzaku argues.

"Suzaku—" Lelouch tiredly starts.

"_No!_" he loudly defies. "Why else would I be growing _boobs?_ That's technically what they're there for. And I've read that men can lactate, too, so why wouldn't I be able to do it?"

That's quite possibly the most horrifying question Lelouch has ever heard Suzaku ask.

This is officially too absurd of a conversation to be having.

"Listen, just because your body might be reacting to the pregnancy the way it would for a woman doesn't mean that it would be _preparing_ the way a woman's would by having the right nourishment for a baby to drink." Lelouch taps a little too aggressively on his keyboard. "Yes, men can lactate, but that doesn't mean they can breastfeed. That's like saying a man who builds birdhouses also knows how to build houses for people. It's two different situations."

"…That doesn't mean they _don't know_, either" Suzaku stubbornly grumbles in a pout.

"Besides," Lelouch ignores him, again, "you get hard when your nipples are stimulated. That won't work out well for you in the end."

"_You—!_"

Lelouch laughs at the flustered outburst he caused, nabbing the chance to steer the conversation in a _different_ direction.

"Where is this even coming from, anyway?"

Suzaku sighs, "I don't know… When I was with the girls, I just… found myself thinking a lot of things."

"Maybe you spent too much time with them. Their estrogen must have gotten to you."

Light snickers pop from Suzaku's mouth at the silliness of it all, "Maybe you're right."

A self-satisfied grin shines from within Lelouch – damn _straight_ he's right.

"All you need to worry about right now is taking good care of the small fry while it's inside you. That's a far better use for your time."

Suzaku hums a dejected sound, making Lelouch glance over at the boy as he slides his hands down his stomach while looking at himself sideways in the mirror.

"…I worry about that, too."

"What do you mean?"

Perhaps a better question would be: why does he sound so sad?

"You see how flat my stomach is."

Yes.

It's as flat as his _chest_.

"And?"

Greens eyes fling a glower at Lelouch, "How many months am I into this pregnancy? I should've started showing by now, but I haven't. It worries me. What if there's something wrong?"

"The doctor has said and continues to say that everything looks fine. I'm sure we're conducting over a very strong safety net."

"But what if it's a problem they can't detect or some new side effect they can't see? Male pregnancy isn't an everyday occurrence."

"Well…" Lelouch won't admit it, but he's at a loss for words, particularly because the seahorse is so down and so right. As far as _anyone_ knows, a male pregnancy has never been recorded outside of fiction, and they don't know what will happen. To have Suzaku mention that he thinks about the fatal possibilities threatening their baby is unsettling on its own. "It _is_ a small fry, right? Maybe we're just having a small baby – that happens sometimes."

A noncommittal sound seeps from Suzaku's lips, his eyes turned to his disappointing reflection.

"Sometimes babies a bigger, too. For your sake, you should probably hope it is a small one. A hefty baby might kill you."

The corners of Suzaku's lips lift faintly, and he looks at Lelouch with weak amusement – showing his appreciation for the attempt at comic relief.

"Don't worry so much, that's my job." Lelouch commands softy through a smile as he turns his attention back to his laptop, opening an undoubtedly annoying and pointless e-mail from Milly. "And it's like I said before; not everyone's body is the same. It'll probably take a little more time before you start showing."

His fingers tick across keys for only a few seconds when he is suddenly encased in a loving embrace, strong arms linked around his shoulders and a tickle of hair on his neck, causing him to fall still. Strokes of hot breaths slide over Lelouch's skin in more beats of wordless time, Suzaku's scent filling his nostrils and encompassing his brain with warm, fuzzy contentment.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." Suzaku says, his affectionate delivery muffled by Lelouch's shoulder.

Lelouch smiles, a soft glow on his face like a lit candle, and touches Suzaku's arm with his hand.

"Die, probably."

"You're the best daddy in the whole world."

"I thought I was a naughty daddy."

"You are." Suzaku turns his head so his nose is pointing at Lelouch. "But you were right: I like that part of daddy, too."

Lelouch's eyebrow twitches, but it's an intrigued quirk rather than an annoyed reflex, and he stares at the kiss glittering in emerald eyes that's clearly calling him. Not one to pass on such an offer, Lelouch sweetly and tenderly presses his lips to Suzaku's, feeling the other boy happily mirror the movement.

The imposing idea of budding bosoms has been successfully squashed.

•-•

Seated side by side on the couch in Lelouch's room that evening, the teenage parents-to-be stare at the laptop screen, readying themselves for the childbirth video found on the website of their clinic. They're both unsure if they're really ready to see what this video holds but also sure that they should be prepared (not just because the thoughts of Suzaku's mind are truly worrying), and unquestioningly curious about the truth. Lelouch has heard the horror stories and the glory tales, but can't say he knows what the experience really entails – perhaps if he hadn't skipped his health class so much he'd be more knowledgeable, and Suzaku's been playing soldier boy so he's just as clueless.

Lelouch inhales a brave breath, "Ready?"

Suzaku wordlessly nods.

The click from the mouse has never sounded so deafening to Lelouch's ears.

The laptop glows softly on their faces which quickly contort when the video – watching this in full screen was _definitely_ a bad idea – cuts right to the chase. Lelouch can feel himself frowning deeply, cringing at the clear angle and anguishing sounds emitting from the woman whose face they can't see. He glances at Suzaku to see those evergreen eyes expanding beyond their natural limits and his ears turning red like a mercury thermometer during the height of summer, in the desert.

Neither of them was prepared for this, and that's a _grievous_ understatement.

It even feels morally reprehensible because they are in a gay relationship and under the legal age to be taking part in anything to do with this subject. If Suzaku wasn't pregnant, they'd really have no right to watch this video – not that they'd be dying to if he wasn't…

"_Uuhh!_" the woman moans in distress – a person should never moan like that.

"…So _that's_ what it looks like," Suzaku says, his voice empty and distance like his purity was just stolen from him.

As much as Lelouch would like to admonish Suzaku for making such a blunt remark, he only said what they were _both_ thinking… and it _did_ break the tension crackling from the video, if only a little.

It is an image Lelouch is certain he'll never forget.

"_Aahh~!_"

For better or for worse.

"I don't think it always looks quite like this," Lelouch mutters sourly as the woman's screams of pain intensify, siphoning a harsh, acidic taste into his mouth from his stomach.

"_Push, push, honey! You're almost there! I can see the head!"_

"No…" Suzaku's voice is almost completely smothered by the video.

"_Guh! Guhaaaaaaaaaaaaa~AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!_"

•-•

The boys are scrambling into the bathroom in a race against their stomachs; Suzaku being much faster to the toilet than Lelouch, flipping the lid and dry-heaving into the bowl as if he's trying to cough up the memory of what he just saw. Lelouch stands at the sink, palms on the icy surface as he stares down into the drain, his throat flexing and clamping the volatile feeling of vomit just teetering on the verge of tongue.

…There are some things that just aren't meant for mortal eyes.

"_Please_ tell me I don't have to do _that_," Suzaku begs with hefty huffs, eyes wide open with the _truth_.

Lelouch is still swallowing in an effort to keep his lunch, and his _stomach_, from lurching up his esophagus, _completely_ against making any promises to Suzaku at this point. He'd like nothing more than to reassure Suzaku – and himself – that it isn't possible for a male to give birth that way, but a male _shouldn't_ even be pregnant in the first place. They're treading new lands, and Lelouch doesn't have enough facts to declare anything safe just yet anymore.

"I just want to know what kind of sick people call childbirth _beautiful_." Lelouch mutters into the sink, rubbing the nausea away with the shock of cold water. "Or what sick things a person would have to see first to even _call_ it beautiful."

"I think people think the _idea_ of childbirth is beautiful when they say that." – is all Suzaku can seem to offer in a tired toss of words as he slumps before the _Porcelain God_.

Lelouch's lips curl at the imagery of that video as if he smells rancid garbage, "I hope you're right."

•-

-•

Homeroom might just be another time for napping to Lelouch, but not Suzaku. While the older boy snoozes his free period away, face buried in his folded arms on the table, Suzaku sits next to him with a straight back and an open history book in front of him to do his assignment… Trying to, at least. His paper is still blank, aside from his name, while his mind chases thoughts that lead him farther and farther away from the point of his pencil. Suzaku hasn't found it completely impossible to focus in every case, but school work and class lectures are a different story. Although he's never thought of himself as the student type, he's been doing pretty well since enrolled at Ashford, only now with the pregnancy hatching in his mind is he facing a constant daze. Doing his work would actually be fine, if he could remember a single word any of his teachers have said…

Normally turning to Lelouch would solve Suzaku's problems, but he doesn't want to bother the boy who struggles to sleep at night so he's just staring helplessly down at his paper when a shadow slides over its empty surface – a silhouette he can instantly recognize.

"What's up, Suzaku," Rivalz greets, dragging an empty chair to sit backwards in it across from the honorary Britannian, "Doin' homework?"

"Trying to," he bashfully mumbles. "I can't seem to concentrate."

Rivalz waves off Suzaku's troubles, smiling breezily, "Just get Lelouch to do it for you later. He's never done it for me, but I'm sure he'd do it for _you_."

Suzaku smiles faintly as Rivalz warmly laughs, but the twist on his lips is more sneering than it is humored.

He already knows _what_ Lelouch would expect in return for such a favor.

Because Lelouch's _charity_ has its limits.

"So… I was just curious about something," Rivalz's lowers his voice, his face shaping to match his sober words.

Suzaku's head tilts, "What?"

That blue mop of hair sinks to dock a chin on his over-lapping arms, his shoulders raised and eyes intensely focused on what he makes seem like a top-secret conversation.

"What was like, being one of _them?_"

"Them?"

"You know, when you were with the girls. What was it like?"

In itself, coming from Rivalz, that's not an odd question, just a little unexpected in timing. After the _event_ on Saturday, Lelouch didn't really give off the appeal of wanting to know more than he needed to about what went on at the mall, either because he simply didn't _want_ to know or he didn't care to know _all_ the details, Suzaku can't say. He didn't feel particularly obligated to share more than he needed to, either, because the whole day was repetitive of Milly's harassment.

"Oh, well… different, but not very different from just being around them any other time. I think it was just the context that was strange? I don't think they're as different from boys as they might first appear."

"Huh…" Rivalz sounds disappointed. "They didn't act different around you?"

Suzaku shakes his head with a faint shrug, "No. They were the same."

Milly might have been more aggressive, and cared only about Lelouch, but _Rivalz_ doesn't need to know that.

"Did you get to see them in their underwear?" Rivalz asks a bit too excitedly and a bit too loudly, painting a blush across Suzaku's cheeks and pulling some unwanted eyes onto them. "Cuz I've heard that girls are really open with their, erm,"—he glances around briefly to make sure no one is listening, anymore—"_special_ guy friends. They'll, like, change in front of you, or even _more_ than that!"

"Don't be stupid, Rivalz." –comes the muffled scorn of Lelouch who doesn't bother to lift his head.

Guess he's not _really_ sleeping.

Rivalz brushes off Lelouch's derision with a brittle straighten of his spine, "Whatever. It's just what I've heard. But, did you get to see anything? I mean, I know you probably don't care about _that_ sort of thing. But, the president? Even you'd have to admit that she's got a nice figure – did you get to see it _up close_ and _personal_, hah? All of them look good, you know, but Milly is more _mature_, _if_ _you know what I mean_."

This part of Rivalz is actually kind of funny.

Creepy, but funny.

And, no, Suzaku doesn't know what he means.

"Sorry." Suzaku simpers. "That didn't happen."

Lelouch is right.

What kind of woman would really do that?

"Figured not." Rivalz slumps back down against his arms. "But… are you sure they're _really_ like us? They seem like they're from another planet sometimes. I don't get 'em."

"Yeah," Suzaku says with an ironic half-smile at the reflective thoughts of how carnivorously Milly wanted to know about Lelouch just like Rivalz wanted to about Milly. "I think just their _parts_ are different."

* * *

The word count (_real word count_: 15,845) is so high and yet I feel like I didn't really write much of anything. It was just all so silly. Can't say next chapter will be the same. Beware of Drama and Plot Bits lurking there… and maybe a _Juicy_ Treat? I'll give a fair warning and say it might take longer than usual (whatever "usual" is) before you see the next chapter. I'm beginning to tread the Lands of the Undecided for this fic, so please bear with me and give me your love ;3. But, feel free to harass me if you think I'm taking too long. Getting that kick in the ass is really the only way I get anything done!

Until next time~!


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